How do you see Creator?

[Ankh]

Oh, what do you feel when you feel like a Creator? I have problems with that, because I have blockage in the foundation of the self, orange nexi. So I am trying with love first, before I come to seeing myself as the Creator. I just started to notice how I unconsciously block love that is sent to me and that hurts. I was not aware of that fact until recently. So I am trying to open myself up, step by step, by accepting this love. If I open myself completely, then I can't function, I break down and cry. Can't do that all day long.

I think that it's possible to burn up, more or less anyway. Didn't Crowley do that, in the Ra material? That is why I am taking it slowly, as I've told you before. I wasn't ready then. Heck, I don't know if I am ready now either, but it feels like I am on my way anyway. Specially accepting that love part has been very helpful. That is what helps me to stay grounded and present. But it's not easy, and I fail many times.