My Dark Night of the Soul

[Tenet Nosce]

As for being homeless, I honestly don't want to be because the winter is coming up, but I KNOW my mom will try to commit me to the mental hospital. I was there in 2008 because I dealt with my first break up and it wasn't really a fun experience, but my mom will ask me, "are you suicidal" and if I say yes, my a$$ will be in the hospital very quickly. She would do that. Ironic, she is a nurse in a state mental hospital. If I say no, then I'll get a huge a$$ lecture on how I have to work to survive and live comfortably. They are very money oriented people.

Excuse me. I am very sorry to jump in here and reply so directly to you, as we have not been previously acquainted. But are you -sure- that your mom will try to commit you to the mental hospital? This is difficult to explain for me.

Here is a tool you can use to evaluate that belief. I would highly recommend that you use this tool to evaluate the particular belief that your mom will try to commit you to the mental hospital.

Please do this. I have some personal stories and information to share further on this- however it is somewhat academic and I perceive you are in the midst of a breakthrough so there is plenty of time for analysis once you are on the other side.

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Do yourself a favor. Get a job at McDonald's and spend your last pennies on a shrink. Ask the therapist for a discount since you're poor, they will oblige you.

Pardon, my friend. I know you are meaning to be helpful as you were recently very kind to me during a time of frustration.

However, if I may interject, I personally know of one individual who has been deeply suffering with severe mental issues, including paranoia, suicidal thoughts, and substance abuse. In a past conversation with me he related to me that he was indeed working at McDonald's (he has a degree from a prestigious university) and one day hoped to "push the button for all 8 billion people". I took this to be a reference to fantasizing about global nuclear war. Clearly not a good place to be. This in addition to speaking to me in a "devilish" voice, making covert threats upon me, and harassing me by telephone.

Concerned for my acquaintance, and quite frankly more for myself (I would estimate a 70% STS motivation for my physical safety), I did contact his mother who indicated complete surprise that this individual was not at all well. According to her, he was under therapy and taking his medications. He even had a girlfriend, she was happy to tell me! Apparently the entire family was completely oblivious to his continued suffering.

In my opinion, this individual is in need of deep spiritual healing. I honor your path of psychological investigation which brought you to greater understanding of yourself and empowered you to move beyond some of your personal issues.

However, especially in the case of certain personalities with "peculiar" characteristics, most psychological theories fall somewhat flat in addressing these. Unless... perhaps you know of a therapist familiar with the Law of One?

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I've been in these types of situations, and the basic truth I've found is that if you continuously focus on the negative, thinking of everything that can go wrong, you will continuously find yourself in a negative situation where everything goes wrong. You are creating that reality for yourself.

I find this to be a wise observation. Curiously, I once had a close friend whom I shared many ideas from the Law of One with. We frequently discussed on spiritual matters, and developed our own "theory" as to the nature of this very phenomenon. Actually it was some time ago in college, and I don't remember exactly what term we coined but it was akin to "false synchronicity" as I referred to in a recent query to Q'uo. The idea being that when one is in such a deeply negative state, the holographic nature of the matrix causes negative events to "line up" and "stack upon" one another, causing the downward spiral to which you referred.

Interestingly, despite my friend being consciously aware of this, he repeatedly succumbed to the phenomenon. As time progressed, he eventually became more paranoid and suicidal and consuming truly heroic amounts of substances. He is the same individual I am referring to in my above post to yossarian.

Here is the query and response:

G: Q’uo, M writes: “Can personal events be metaphysically manipulated by negatively-oriented entities in order to give the outer appearance of synchronicity? If so, how does this demonstrate the Law of One and how can one best discern between true and false synchronicity?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. My brother, we would say that it is entirely possible that negative entities might be interested in a certain entity and might find it useful to manipulate events so as to create synchronicity that would help to persuade a person to feel that certain thoughts were helpful. As always, those behind the veil, unable to see the true vibrations of unseen friends, must depend upon their powers of observation and discernment.

If an unseen friend of the negative orientation were attempting to persuade you, for instance, that it was a good idea to break free of a relationship or otherwise destabilize your life, it would work only if the person being persuaded wanted that persuasion. Consequently, we would encourage each seeker to look at synchronicities and rather than scooping them up wholesale without thought, look at and ponder the pattern being made by synchronicity. If the pattern is one which does not sit well with you for some reason, we would encourage you to trust that and to lift away from finding importance in such synchronicity.

The principle of the Law of One which bears upon this question is the principle of free will. This instrument, for instance, was once given the negative impression that she could not breathe. Try as she might she could not bring air into her lungs. However, this psychic greeting was unable to be effective because its effect depended upon the instrument panicking and losing faith that all was well.

As it happened, this instrument was well aware of the greeting, as it had been ongoing for some time, and simply walked on, thinking that, probably, eventually she would fall to the ground because there was no more air and that when unconscious the psychic greeting would no longer have an effect and she would regain her ability to breathe. Consequently, there was no fear. And after perhaps a minute of this situation being ongoing it lifted away and was gone.

There is a tremendous amount of play that you have with the steering of your mind. There is a great deal to learn about the discipline that you can exercise over your thoughts. And it is the work of an incarnation to become an artist with perception working with thought in a creative way but not fooling the self; being insightful but not being clever; moving into the verticality of a moment so that it opens up like a flower rather than moving horizontally past the moment in search of a distant goal.

The web of synchronicity is valid and it indeed is offered from all sides that are attracted to you and your situation. It takes discernment to sort out the tremendous richness of information that is coming into you at all times. It is not the work of a moment. It is not the work of a year. It is the work of a lifetime. And we hope that each of you enjoys this carnival ride. Remember, dear ones, that what you see often depends upon how you choose to perceive.

The one known as L spoke recently in a circle like this one of experiencing a concert, first as full of negativity where the words to the songs seemed to be violent and hurtful and the energy of those in the audience seemed to be shallow and driven by substance abuse. Yet she persisted and moved to a level where she was able to see the love pouring out of every heart, every instrument, every note. And her environment changed from an environment of hell to one of heaven.

You have this capacity within you to make heaven of hell or hell of heaven. We encourage you to believe in the truth, which is that heaven lies within you. It is accessible. It is as if you were looking at a closed door. The key to that door is silence. Open it. Walk into your own heart and fly away. There you are safe. There you are loved. There you shall become capable of loving. We are with you; the angels are with you.

In case one is so inclined, this session from 12 Feb 11 also contains some interesting views on the function of angels and marijuana use. I have found myself referring back to it several times as I need to remind myself of the information. Pesky veil.