09-22-2011, 08:29 AM
I had a friend. He was - is? - my best friend for years. Not because we were so alike, but because we were having the same hobbies and we were both normal people who did not abuse others for the fun of it, and that made us outlanders in school. Me more than him, but the kinship was there.
One issue was present, though: he always liked to bash my mistakes and dumb/unique views of the world. Therefore, when I left the city I grew up in, and went to college, I severed my bonds with him because I no longer felt that I need to spend time with him on a weekly basis when I am home, instead of being with some other friends who actually did not bash me at all. Or behind my back. Not like it matters, but hey. Different time, different views.
Now, I had this...what is to say... wound. Yes, a severed connection is a wound. No matter how much I covered it up, the more years passing, the more I realized I was an egoistic, selfish man to do something like this to a friend. A few weeks ago, however, I decided to make a difference. I marked him as a friend in Facebook, and we talked a few hours later. Turns out, he accepted the request and did not seem to hold any grudges to me (or he would not have let me contact him anyway), so we will even meet real life when he will have the time. That part does not even matter anymore: what matters is that now I know he is alright, got a girlfriend, lives on his own, and is healthy.
All these years I ignored our friendship and the bond, and pretended it does not matter. But since we are all connected, of course it matters. One should not leave bonds like this behind. Or if he/she does, gotta make sure that everything is clean and finalized in your part. I imagine naturally that a few sessions of meditating with a direct purpose (reliving all the good and bad memories, embracing it all), then a final "farewell" message with all the love and hugs that are available to you should be enough for you to not feel guilty and be at peace with the lack of positive communication from his end.
One issue was present, though: he always liked to bash my mistakes and dumb/unique views of the world. Therefore, when I left the city I grew up in, and went to college, I severed my bonds with him because I no longer felt that I need to spend time with him on a weekly basis when I am home, instead of being with some other friends who actually did not bash me at all. Or behind my back. Not like it matters, but hey. Different time, different views.
Now, I had this...what is to say... wound. Yes, a severed connection is a wound. No matter how much I covered it up, the more years passing, the more I realized I was an egoistic, selfish man to do something like this to a friend. A few weeks ago, however, I decided to make a difference. I marked him as a friend in Facebook, and we talked a few hours later. Turns out, he accepted the request and did not seem to hold any grudges to me (or he would not have let me contact him anyway), so we will even meet real life when he will have the time. That part does not even matter anymore: what matters is that now I know he is alright, got a girlfriend, lives on his own, and is healthy.
All these years I ignored our friendship and the bond, and pretended it does not matter. But since we are all connected, of course it matters. One should not leave bonds like this behind. Or if he/she does, gotta make sure that everything is clean and finalized in your part. I imagine naturally that a few sessions of meditating with a direct purpose (reliving all the good and bad memories, embracing it all), then a final "farewell" message with all the love and hugs that are available to you should be enough for you to not feel guilty and be at peace with the lack of positive communication from his end.
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)