Alone

[Conifer16]

Have you ever felt crushingly alone. Like you are desperate to connect emotionally with someone else but there is no one there for you, no friends(at all). I feel like that and what makes it worse is that I know that there is a spirit with me( since my birth) but I can't feel her anymore. it is like I have closed down with growing up and it is so sad. Azreal could see her and when chatting with him I could suddenly feel her and see her but afterwords I started to close up again. I don't know why. Maybe I like sad things so much because that is what I feel underneath all the time and so connect with saddness. I get the feeling that I have returned from 4th density to help but seeing as I have the veil I have forgotten and now only know that I miss something so wonderful. I really want to make friends with a group of teens at the GED program but I haven't been able to make myself interact(I know I am holding myself back) I think I am afriad that I will be rejected and they won't want to be friends. Basically I feel very lonely and the irony is that I am surrounded by a loving universe and I have just forgotten. I couldn't keep this stuff bottled up anymore so I am posting it in the only place I have that I feel safe expressing myself.
-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus