11-26-2009, 05:15 PM
Monica
Feels great to have this mirroring and confirmation. Boy do i know everything about what you are saying here. I've been digging deep down and my own soul does not get away with anything either. I read this very helpful book "Spiritual vampires" by Marty Raphael who has the same experiences and the book ends with 2 lists
Questions To Ask When Choosing a Therapist
1 Can the therapist be reached during crisis?
2 Has the t worked with spiritual abuse survivors before?
3 if not, how would the t educate him/herself in order to be effective with you?
4 Do you feel comfortable in his or her office?
5 Does the therapist seem judgemental or critical?
6 Do you feel the t wants to rescue you rather than support you in doing your own healing?
7 Does the t act as if he/she has all the answers?
8 Does the t get uncomfortable when you discover the truth for yourself without his or her help?
9 Does the t think sexual contact with clients are appropriate?
10 Does the t believe that childre ever willingly have sex with adults?
11 What does the t think about touching clients? Do you feel uncomfortable with his/her touching?
12 Does the t make good solid eye contact with you?
13 Can you feel free to get angry with the t?
14 Would you like the t as a friend?
15 Is the t willing to allow all your questions?
16 What does your gut say? After all, your own instincts can be trusted.
If you are with a good t you will feel respected, valued, heard and understood.
How to Pick the Good Spiritual Workshops and Avoid the Bad Ones
Counselling, workshops and personal growth seminars in general don't have to be avoided for fear of exposing oneself to spiritual vampires. We must explore, experiment and risk in order to grow.
1 Word of mout from someone you know (did not work for me)
2 A good teacher is not going to foster dependence. If the t eludes to the idea that you're with him/her for the long haul, Red flag! If they suggest you to become a teacher yourself, OK!
3True learning is a two-way energy flow. If the t does not recognize openly what he/she is learning from you or your questions it's a sign they have a hidden agenda to remain in the guru seat.
4 If the teacher looks, feels, acts bigger than life-Red Flag! If the t allows you to see their humanity or shadowside, chances are, they're not interested in your worship, awe or dependency on them.
5 If the amount of money required to take the workshop is not available to you at the time, recognize that this may be a sign that it's not right for you. Stop to check inside to see if you can see what is not immediately obvious to you with respect to where the Red Flags are.
6 Trust your gut at all turns. If you feel uneasy leave immediately!
All the best to you All
Feels great to have this mirroring and confirmation. Boy do i know everything about what you are saying here. I've been digging deep down and my own soul does not get away with anything either. I read this very helpful book "Spiritual vampires" by Marty Raphael who has the same experiences and the book ends with 2 lists
Questions To Ask When Choosing a Therapist
1 Can the therapist be reached during crisis?
2 Has the t worked with spiritual abuse survivors before?
3 if not, how would the t educate him/herself in order to be effective with you?
4 Do you feel comfortable in his or her office?
5 Does the therapist seem judgemental or critical?
6 Do you feel the t wants to rescue you rather than support you in doing your own healing?
7 Does the t act as if he/she has all the answers?
8 Does the t get uncomfortable when you discover the truth for yourself without his or her help?
9 Does the t think sexual contact with clients are appropriate?
10 Does the t believe that childre ever willingly have sex with adults?
11 What does the t think about touching clients? Do you feel uncomfortable with his/her touching?
12 Does the t make good solid eye contact with you?
13 Can you feel free to get angry with the t?
14 Would you like the t as a friend?
15 Is the t willing to allow all your questions?
16 What does your gut say? After all, your own instincts can be trusted.
If you are with a good t you will feel respected, valued, heard and understood.
How to Pick the Good Spiritual Workshops and Avoid the Bad Ones
Counselling, workshops and personal growth seminars in general don't have to be avoided for fear of exposing oneself to spiritual vampires. We must explore, experiment and risk in order to grow.
1 Word of mout from someone you know (did not work for me)
2 A good teacher is not going to foster dependence. If the t eludes to the idea that you're with him/her for the long haul, Red flag! If they suggest you to become a teacher yourself, OK!
3True learning is a two-way energy flow. If the t does not recognize openly what he/she is learning from you or your questions it's a sign they have a hidden agenda to remain in the guru seat.
4 If the teacher looks, feels, acts bigger than life-Red Flag! If the t allows you to see their humanity or shadowside, chances are, they're not interested in your worship, awe or dependency on them.
5 If the amount of money required to take the workshop is not available to you at the time, recognize that this may be a sign that it's not right for you. Stop to check inside to see if you can see what is not immediately obvious to you with respect to where the Red Flags are.
6 Trust your gut at all turns. If you feel uneasy leave immediately!
All the best to you All