02-20-2012, 11:20 AM
I would clarify a few things, that I had thought were apparent. Obviously I am as afflicted by the veil of confusion as any other incarnating in the third density. Whatever knowledge or insights I may have come from memory, and intuition guided by reason. I make no claim to special knowledge or absolute truth. I am but a wanderer amongst wanderers, trying to find my way home. I have no interest in proving the veracity of what I say, I merely offer it open handedly in hopes of gaining greater knowledge and understanding of self.
That being said, I will return to the topic of bi-polarity as I have experienced it. I believe my experiments with the heart chakra and bi-polarity have been useful and productive in attaining greater understanding of self, and the Creator. Were I to regain a sixth density awareness in full, I believe I would be a near perfect balance of the negative and positive polarities, able to hold both concepts in my being simultaneously and with perfect harmony. However, I am incarnate in the third density, with little more than a third density awareness. So I find myself limited in significant ways. As I have stated previously, I find myself capable of pushing myself into a STO orientation, with effort and meditation. To achieve this task I must be highly polarized negatively, and full of the accompanying energy and power I feel in this state. The task is achieved by charging my heart chakra, which allows me to feel compassion. A thing that I find myself unable to feel in my native STS orientation. However, the effect is short lived, maintainable for only a day or two, at which time I become listless and blocked. It is only by refocusing my awareness to the chakras associated with a negative orientation that I find myself once more unblocked and energized. The difference is comparable to that of a battery and a nuclear power plant. Though I can charge the battery of my heart chakra with almost all the negative energy I possess at any time, I find that with each moment that passes thereafter there is less and less. Conversely, when in a STS orientation the power and energy flows freely and inexhaustibly from the bottom of my feet up through the crown.
This perhaps sheds some light on the key difference between the STS and STO orientations. Compassion and feeling has never been very much a part of my being, even as a young child. An effect that only increased with age to the point of numbness, then to no feeling at all. Emotion, when felt, has always had a sickening/nauseating effect on my physical vehicle. Whether it be anger or joy, the feeling has always struck me as a foreign invader that must be exiled. One poster likened me to Dexter. Which is not an entirely inaccurate characterization, and is an accusation made by one or two of my ex-girlfriends, right before they ran away in horror. Though the difference between the mask and the interior is an accurate analogy, you would find my interior far colder and more indifferent.
One poster discussed her inner conviction that all in the world deserve and should be given food, water, shelter, and clothing as a basic human right. Where she feels the pain of their suffering and feels compassion for their plight, my tendency is towards understanding the present, past, and future. Where she sees suffering, I see populations that have gone well beyond the carrying capacity of the land on which they live, and their culture's ability to sustain them. A condition brought about by the good intentions of the industrialized world, that has sought to alleviate their pain without addressing underlying systemic issues. The population boom in the third world and their current plight is a direct result of a suppression of the infant mortality rates by imported western medicine, and imported foodstuffs during times of famine. Where women might have 12 children in their lifetime and only 3 attain adulthood, now all 12 may attain the privilege of a life without sufficient work, food, room, or money. By trying to alleviate current pain and suffering, the good intentions of the industrial world in many cases exacerbated the problems of developing nations, making them dependent on the industrialized world for their barest survival. If you ever wondered how the Earth's population came to be 7 billion people, when most optimistic estimates suggest 4 to 5 billion is the population the Earth can sustainably maintain - here is your answer.
Whether you agree or disagree with the above analysis is quite beside the point, for the purposes of this discussion. The pertinent fact is that this is my first reaction to the mentioned condition. More often than not, where one sees good intentions, I see the path they paved to hell.
For those "keeping track" I have returned to an STS orientation. My absence over the last few days has been the result of my attempt to see how long the STO orientation could be maintained, and what its effects on me would be. As stated above, I became listless, blocked, and my physical vehicle passive by the end of the experiment.
-Zaxon
That being said, I will return to the topic of bi-polarity as I have experienced it. I believe my experiments with the heart chakra and bi-polarity have been useful and productive in attaining greater understanding of self, and the Creator. Were I to regain a sixth density awareness in full, I believe I would be a near perfect balance of the negative and positive polarities, able to hold both concepts in my being simultaneously and with perfect harmony. However, I am incarnate in the third density, with little more than a third density awareness. So I find myself limited in significant ways. As I have stated previously, I find myself capable of pushing myself into a STO orientation, with effort and meditation. To achieve this task I must be highly polarized negatively, and full of the accompanying energy and power I feel in this state. The task is achieved by charging my heart chakra, which allows me to feel compassion. A thing that I find myself unable to feel in my native STS orientation. However, the effect is short lived, maintainable for only a day or two, at which time I become listless and blocked. It is only by refocusing my awareness to the chakras associated with a negative orientation that I find myself once more unblocked and energized. The difference is comparable to that of a battery and a nuclear power plant. Though I can charge the battery of my heart chakra with almost all the negative energy I possess at any time, I find that with each moment that passes thereafter there is less and less. Conversely, when in a STS orientation the power and energy flows freely and inexhaustibly from the bottom of my feet up through the crown.
This perhaps sheds some light on the key difference between the STS and STO orientations. Compassion and feeling has never been very much a part of my being, even as a young child. An effect that only increased with age to the point of numbness, then to no feeling at all. Emotion, when felt, has always had a sickening/nauseating effect on my physical vehicle. Whether it be anger or joy, the feeling has always struck me as a foreign invader that must be exiled. One poster likened me to Dexter. Which is not an entirely inaccurate characterization, and is an accusation made by one or two of my ex-girlfriends, right before they ran away in horror. Though the difference between the mask and the interior is an accurate analogy, you would find my interior far colder and more indifferent.
One poster discussed her inner conviction that all in the world deserve and should be given food, water, shelter, and clothing as a basic human right. Where she feels the pain of their suffering and feels compassion for their plight, my tendency is towards understanding the present, past, and future. Where she sees suffering, I see populations that have gone well beyond the carrying capacity of the land on which they live, and their culture's ability to sustain them. A condition brought about by the good intentions of the industrialized world, that has sought to alleviate their pain without addressing underlying systemic issues. The population boom in the third world and their current plight is a direct result of a suppression of the infant mortality rates by imported western medicine, and imported foodstuffs during times of famine. Where women might have 12 children in their lifetime and only 3 attain adulthood, now all 12 may attain the privilege of a life without sufficient work, food, room, or money. By trying to alleviate current pain and suffering, the good intentions of the industrial world in many cases exacerbated the problems of developing nations, making them dependent on the industrialized world for their barest survival. If you ever wondered how the Earth's population came to be 7 billion people, when most optimistic estimates suggest 4 to 5 billion is the population the Earth can sustainably maintain - here is your answer.
Whether you agree or disagree with the above analysis is quite beside the point, for the purposes of this discussion. The pertinent fact is that this is my first reaction to the mentioned condition. More often than not, where one sees good intentions, I see the path they paved to hell.
For those "keeping track" I have returned to an STS orientation. My absence over the last few days has been the result of my attempt to see how long the STO orientation could be maintained, and what its effects on me would be. As stated above, I became listless, blocked, and my physical vehicle passive by the end of the experiment.
-Zaxon
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