03-05-2012, 12:45 AM
Greetings Lulu,
Yes, I am approximately 25 years old. However, my personality and awareness have been approximately what they are now throughout my life. Though I have gained more factual knowledge about the world throughout my life, my core personality has been as it is now. My earliest memories date back to before I was a year old, as I looked out infant eyes in sardonic bemusement at my squealing mother as I took my first steps at 8 months old. I began speaking in full sentences soon thereafter. However, I did not fully inhabit this body until I was approximately 3 or 4 years old. I have a fairly vivid memory of one moment being a child like any other, happily ensconced in my family, then suddenly seeing them and the world around me with alien eyes. The change was subtle, and I still do not know the mechanics. I retained all the memories of before, and felt continuity in self awareness, however, all that was familiar suddenly became distant, and I became cold. I became the "little old man" at that moment, and have become more fully myself with each successive year. Long before I knew what a "walk in" was, I used this term to describe that experience. However, even as a walk-in I find my eyes as covered by the veil of confusion as anyone else. What advantages I have had, if you can call it that, is that I have been free of Karma and have been able to overcome what difficulties I have encountered in this life with relative ease. The insanity of this world has never stuck to me.
Those I spoke of as entities are incarnated Wanderers, I refer to them as entities because their current physical incarnation is but an aspect of their being.
The mirroring of which you speak is commonly found in those of an STO orientation, but is antithetical to the STS oriented individual. I have encountered many STO oriented people who tend to lose themselves in the identities of others. This is done in part because they are highly empathic, but also because they are inclined to find commonality with others to the point of having an unstable ill defined personality. A female STO I worked with initially mirrored me, and adapted many of my mannerisms and interests. In fact this has occurred with every polarized STO I have encountered. However, this mirroring is at best a facade, which quickly falls away because the defining characteristic of their natures is fluidity, whereas mine is stability and control. My mate does not mirror me, she is my mirror. The difference is subtle but important. She was as she is before we met, and that self was fundamentally like my own. I have helped her develop her awareness since we have met, and unblock some portions of herself that she had repressed. In so doing she has become more herself, and in so doing has become even more like me. I regard myself too highly to be attracted to anyone who does not reflect me and my highest values.
-Zaxon
Plenum,
I stopped posting on this forum because it ceased to be productive. That is all I will say, lest my tongue give way to incivility.
-Zaxon
Yes, I am approximately 25 years old. However, my personality and awareness have been approximately what they are now throughout my life. Though I have gained more factual knowledge about the world throughout my life, my core personality has been as it is now. My earliest memories date back to before I was a year old, as I looked out infant eyes in sardonic bemusement at my squealing mother as I took my first steps at 8 months old. I began speaking in full sentences soon thereafter. However, I did not fully inhabit this body until I was approximately 3 or 4 years old. I have a fairly vivid memory of one moment being a child like any other, happily ensconced in my family, then suddenly seeing them and the world around me with alien eyes. The change was subtle, and I still do not know the mechanics. I retained all the memories of before, and felt continuity in self awareness, however, all that was familiar suddenly became distant, and I became cold. I became the "little old man" at that moment, and have become more fully myself with each successive year. Long before I knew what a "walk in" was, I used this term to describe that experience. However, even as a walk-in I find my eyes as covered by the veil of confusion as anyone else. What advantages I have had, if you can call it that, is that I have been free of Karma and have been able to overcome what difficulties I have encountered in this life with relative ease. The insanity of this world has never stuck to me.
Those I spoke of as entities are incarnated Wanderers, I refer to them as entities because their current physical incarnation is but an aspect of their being.
The mirroring of which you speak is commonly found in those of an STO orientation, but is antithetical to the STS oriented individual. I have encountered many STO oriented people who tend to lose themselves in the identities of others. This is done in part because they are highly empathic, but also because they are inclined to find commonality with others to the point of having an unstable ill defined personality. A female STO I worked with initially mirrored me, and adapted many of my mannerisms and interests. In fact this has occurred with every polarized STO I have encountered. However, this mirroring is at best a facade, which quickly falls away because the defining characteristic of their natures is fluidity, whereas mine is stability and control. My mate does not mirror me, she is my mirror. The difference is subtle but important. She was as she is before we met, and that self was fundamentally like my own. I have helped her develop her awareness since we have met, and unblock some portions of herself that she had repressed. In so doing she has become more herself, and in so doing has become even more like me. I regard myself too highly to be attracted to anyone who does not reflect me and my highest values.
-Zaxon
Plenum,
I stopped posting on this forum because it ceased to be productive. That is all I will say, lest my tongue give way to incivility.
-Zaxon
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