Greetings from the Dark

[Lulu]

Lulu,

I view the STS and STO paths as differing approaches to learning and understanding the Creator. Those who walk the STO path best understand the Creator through knowing and helping others, those who walk the STS path understand the Creator primarily through understanding and aggrandizing the self. Once one attains near perfect understanding of the Creator, either through understanding of self or others, polarity may be abandoned. Until that time, however, it is through polarization that we learn and move forward.

As a seeker on the path I understand that you are in search for answers. There is perhaps a part of you that hopes if not expects that there will be one who has all the answers that will satisfy long held curiosities. I believe all seekers have experienced this. However, there is no mystic upon the mountain to dispense wisdom. To find truth you must look within. You have all the answers. You are the mystic with all the answers you will ever need, but you must be willing to listen to them with a an open and fearless mind.

I do not know if I was walked into, or my true self had merely moved to the background because it could not stand the indignity of infancy. I barely tolerated childhood, and can remember vivid disgust at having a small and frail body that I had little control over.

-Zaxon

I WAS a seeker but there eventually comes along an understanding through personal experiences that we live in a universe that will provide every next truth that we are ready to believe. We are being led into ideas by the being/s that "work with" us. Because there are as many spirits in the universe as beings who have ever lived, there are ample opportunities for us to be provided with syncronicity so that we can then latch onto an idea/belief. Beliefs from "I am meant to be a Healer" to "I am here to take humanity to a Galactic Level" to "I am here to Polarize others who are non-polarized, in service to the creator". Once this happens, they can then use us in that position for their cause/agendas around their beliefs.

note: please change up the wording to something else if you don't like the word "spirits". Multi-dimensional selves, ancestors etc.

Consider that we are in a sense taking a bribe from these beings/spirits. For example there are many people right now who believe they are "Jesus" reincarnated. Beings/spririts with a big agenda can find perfect use from someone who is willing to be hooked into with this belief.

It doesn't take that much to convince someone, with some good imagery and downloads of nails going through the feet along with other memories that "I am Jesus" including teachings and visits with "God" and other constant spirit communication that can soon convince one "I am Jesus, it must be true!". Behind the new Jesus teachings, lies yet another agenda. A powerful spirit can easily create this as the free will is activated little by little upon influence.

So as for seeking --there is nothing left for me to seek in the larger sense. I do not wish to be here as purpose is without purpose. I personally experienced the levels of interaction, manipulation and influence in our universe; every being and soul that has ever lived wishes to "work with" us or influence us or to help us to some degree.

In my old "positive before "awakening" self I might have seen it as a fun spirit world that wants to "play" with us, and attracted that. It's too late for me to see it that way, I know too much.

I accidentally opened a portal to more than I consciously intended. The hook/bribe for me was "soulmate" and with enough synchronicity I was quickly broken down, confused, tormented and taken on quite a journey of realizations. Of course with the bad comes the good and I was also able to gather up the parts of my soul, long since missing.

I am often angry at the spirits who through their own agenda, damaged me causing an abrupt "awakening". I would not wish that upon my own child, nor would I wish that upon anyone I loved. What was done to me was not in Love, it was from an idea (just like yours) that this what needs to be done in service to the creator. It is not different then your judgement at the evangelistic behavior of another. By doing this "help" by "polarizing" others you yourself are hooked into a "belief" that you are "helping" the creator by causing this polarization.

May I share with you the polarization that I believe your group is seeking to understand that is behind the one you are or were projecting onto others?

I'll begin by mentioning your INTJ scores which you indicated were 80% to 100%, quite unbalanced from my view. Certainly it could be seen as genius too.

Perhaps the balance to it is that lost part of your Soul. Bare with me while I attempt to explain. It is my understanding that we have a very active "spirit body" which resides for the most part, in our "physical self" while we are awake, such as during daytime. Because of our emotional injuries we also have gaps, where other spirits can easily enter and/or at least influence us. It's a constant heavenly and not-so heavenly host of beings attracted to us constantly. We are being influenced from a simple thing of which route we take to work, and then experiencing a traffic jam and being late OR a joy ride with green lights all the way. This depending on what we are attracting in our vibration which is how the spirits are joining with us.

I'll now present a more extreme example so that it can more obviously be seen. For example: A person can have absolutely no memory of killing a powerful political person. This is because at the time they were under the severe influence of spirits with a particular agenda who in this case were in the political arena. The gaps to use the assassin, are there from emotional blockages. Drugs use is a product of emotional blockage and create great gaps too. The drugs in itself is an agenda formed from certain spirit groups to use others. Meanwhile the assassin now goes to the looney bin or prison, he is discarded no longer of use to the spirit group that possessed him temporarily for the assassin job. (Jared Loughlin is a good example, he killed an AZ senator and leading up to it became very influenced and possessed by spirits).

Through the emotional blockage, the lineage of spirits gets passed on.

In my view your personal INTJ score could be indicative that you have or had a severe emotional block from a very early point in childhood. Your real "awakening" may not be complete. Something happened. During that time, a spirit entered, from the Orion group and offers the extreme intelligence and Mind from it's hive, in a sense, to you for their own purpose and agenda which you are willingly a part of in security of the use of the MIND. You have become partners with them, in STS and creating polarity in others in service to the creator.

Interestingly you mentioned that your only hot-button is a threat of your personal sovereignty. I'm guessing this is because --subconsciously you are not sovereign now. This is also likely the match to the trauma from the Orion group history.

Meanwhile your "spirit body" is split from you and your Soul is left without expression of your total self in this physical from. Your personal spirit body is "acting out" in the spirit world, in other densities as you call it in it's multi-dimensional form. Your personal spirit body is exactly the opposite of who you appear to be in this world. Probably whatever is the INTJ's opposite is, that is your spirit body or something thereof. (However, I am not educated in the least on these codes. I only took the questionnaire yesterday out of curiosity).

It's worth taking note that you stated you also practiced expression in polarizing yourself in STO. I feel this is because you finally did experience your spirit body merging with you in it's polar opposite state. Apparently that indicates it is still alive and well and perhaps this is the balance you now claim you have.

In early childhood, upon entry, your Orion spirit partner WAS horrified at being stuck in a little frail body vs it's powerful multi-dimensional state that it was in prior, this is what he expressed to you as a child and you felt.

Your spirit body, in it's acting out form is or was a very large, very unreasonable, illogical and irrational being/entitiy in and of itself. In it's acting out it took up opposite agendas and spewed them out upon others as combined with your Orion partner in his/your belief of creating polarity and it doesn't matter which one. This in turn creates total confusion in others whom you are "together working with". This goes with Ra's hesitation of sharing the information about the "Law of Confusion". Because creating confusion is the working "gear" that promotes of the agenda of the Orion group.

Furthermore your judgements on evangelical movements are probably a key to seeing yourself if you haven't figured that out already.

What to do about it? If you are still missing parts of your own soul?

You would have to be willing and open to feeling the emotions that were blocked when it began. When you polarize others, you are forcing them to do this!

Somewhere in the block, is the feeling of being unloved. Whatever it is that makes you angry is where you will be able to deepen into this lost emotion/feeling. I have noticed that Orions have a problem with the word Love. Do you feel annoyed if someone tells you "I love you." (?) Did your mother die or abandon you?

Upon accepting it you will be able to MERGE with your soul/spirit/mind. Right now, you are mostly MIND. Orions are proud of this and understand their MIND. They are telepathic and it is MIND oriented. It is in this expression where they feel most "safe".

As a group they were traumatized. Their trauma was a match to yours, that is how you were able to be walked-into. Lineages of the past right into the Oneness. ONE'ness is a part of the belief agendas for the group. As you can see it serves them in that it would protect them from being separated from even you. Who were they separated from that you were also separated from? In there perhaps lies the trauma.

Fortunately everything does eventually serve the creator because as our souls are a compilation of the great creator we cannot help but move towards it. After all our souls are made up of our personal deepest longings and desires.