03-05-2012, 04:44 PM
Lulu,
You make some interesting points and observations, though I'm afraid I find little resonation with most of it. I have observed many people with what I would call fragmented selves, they typically are filled with contradictory impulses, irrationality, fragility, and a certain deep longing that they spend much of their lives trying to fill with one thing or another. But I would not characterize it as possession, which is what you seem to indicate. There are those who are estranged from the self, and in viewing the totality for the first time feel that they encounter something alien - but I must admit, this concept of which you speak is foreign to me and seems to violate all concepts of free will.
If there was the kind of trauma you speak of, it must have been before I was born or within the first few months. I have memories dating back to soon after I was born, which were from my current perspective, and were cognitively speaking, before I had any right to remember. Frankly I feel ill at ease talking about the esoteric things you discuss, outside of the pure philosophical aspects. Reason has little foothold in this area, because we deal with things that are quite literally beyond our experiential knowledge. Therefore, there is great opportunity for imagination and intuition to run rampant, without discernment to keep them in check.
I can only respond with any certainty by saying that I am Zaxon, and I am complete and content in and of myself. My mother never left me, nor my father. I had an exceptionally peaceful, loving, and mundane childhood, that was spent largely with puzzles and books. I was an only child and disliked playing with other children, a trait that has continued throughout my life. My parents are good honest people, but I feel no familial affection towards them. We share nothing more than a passing physiological resemblance. My mother has often complained that I raised myself, and by the time I was 8 or 9 I was "raising her." If there is some emotional and irrational aspect of my being floating in the ether, I hope it withers on the vine, as I want no part of it.
-Zaxon
You make some interesting points and observations, though I'm afraid I find little resonation with most of it. I have observed many people with what I would call fragmented selves, they typically are filled with contradictory impulses, irrationality, fragility, and a certain deep longing that they spend much of their lives trying to fill with one thing or another. But I would not characterize it as possession, which is what you seem to indicate. There are those who are estranged from the self, and in viewing the totality for the first time feel that they encounter something alien - but I must admit, this concept of which you speak is foreign to me and seems to violate all concepts of free will.
If there was the kind of trauma you speak of, it must have been before I was born or within the first few months. I have memories dating back to soon after I was born, which were from my current perspective, and were cognitively speaking, before I had any right to remember. Frankly I feel ill at ease talking about the esoteric things you discuss, outside of the pure philosophical aspects. Reason has little foothold in this area, because we deal with things that are quite literally beyond our experiential knowledge. Therefore, there is great opportunity for imagination and intuition to run rampant, without discernment to keep them in check.
I can only respond with any certainty by saying that I am Zaxon, and I am complete and content in and of myself. My mother never left me, nor my father. I had an exceptionally peaceful, loving, and mundane childhood, that was spent largely with puzzles and books. I was an only child and disliked playing with other children, a trait that has continued throughout my life. My parents are good honest people, but I feel no familial affection towards them. We share nothing more than a passing physiological resemblance. My mother has often complained that I raised myself, and by the time I was 8 or 9 I was "raising her." If there is some emotional and irrational aspect of my being floating in the ether, I hope it withers on the vine, as I want no part of it.
-Zaxon