01-06-2010, 01:39 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-06-2010, 02:04 PM by kristy1111.)
I just need to cry on somebody's shoulder right now so if there's any shoulder out there willing to subject itself to my tears, then please lean forward. 
Bear with me, this does lead to the subject of LOO, but I have to give a brief background:
I have a sweet friend that I just love who is 100% dedicated to the teachings of ACIM (A Course In Miracles). He runs several websites, has a radio show, writes articles, has an online video show, etc. etc. He also has been WALKING all over the nation to "spread love" to others. He left his wife, right after she had her first baby (that died) to take this walk, and he's been gone for months. He took no money and no provisions, and is depending upon the love and generosity of other people, saying he trusts and has faith that he will be cared for. He and I have had some very deep discussions and shared emails regarding ACIM.
I tried so hard to "get it" (ACIM) but just couldn't. I can understand this life being an "illusion" in that we think we are not connected, and even thinking that our "seeing" all of this is more of a holographic type of experience. I know that when you really get down to it, we're all a bunch of "particles" and empty space. But I can't grasp the idea that all of this isn't "real"...none of the universe, none of the densities, none of US. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I struggle immensely with ACIM. It makes feel lost and afraid and brings me no peace. I don't understand it and to be honest, I don't want to. ACIM doctrrine feels like hell to me.
Okay, so David Wilcock is a man I highly respect and he has helped bring me a long way in my spiritual path. The LOO is a big (huge) part of his life, which just thrills me. For the first time, something was really resonating with me!
So...today I got onto his website and I noticed he had a whole section dedicated to ACIM, even had a man that runs that part of the site. David is the one who requested that this part of his site be done. I seriously felt like somebody had punched me in the gut as hard as they could. I felt a little panicky. I know I'm just being a cry baby, but I was just sooooo upset about this. I felt as if all the progress I'd made spiritually was shot to hell because now the site I love to go to is embracing something that scares me so much.
I am in a deep depression right now as a result of it...crying...blah blah blah...wahhhhh waaaaahhhh....
I almost feel like a person who perhaps had climbed for a long time up a mountain so they could glimpse the light, and somebody pushed them down to the bottom. I feel like somebody knocked me back into kindergarten. No...pre-school. I just don't know what to do anymore, or what to believe, or what to embrace. I feel like crap.
Thanks for "listening". Sorry I'm so emotional. I just don't have anybody to turn to but people like you.
Love, Kristy the confused, messed up, blubbering pre-schooler
David talks about graduating to 4th density, and on up the ladder...he talks about spiritual evolution and all the things LOO teaches. So if that's the case, why start teaching that none of us exist? It seems so contradictory.
Bear with me, this does lead to the subject of LOO, but I have to give a brief background:
I have a sweet friend that I just love who is 100% dedicated to the teachings of ACIM (A Course In Miracles). He runs several websites, has a radio show, writes articles, has an online video show, etc. etc. He also has been WALKING all over the nation to "spread love" to others. He left his wife, right after she had her first baby (that died) to take this walk, and he's been gone for months. He took no money and no provisions, and is depending upon the love and generosity of other people, saying he trusts and has faith that he will be cared for. He and I have had some very deep discussions and shared emails regarding ACIM.
I tried so hard to "get it" (ACIM) but just couldn't. I can understand this life being an "illusion" in that we think we are not connected, and even thinking that our "seeing" all of this is more of a holographic type of experience. I know that when you really get down to it, we're all a bunch of "particles" and empty space. But I can't grasp the idea that all of this isn't "real"...none of the universe, none of the densities, none of US. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I struggle immensely with ACIM. It makes feel lost and afraid and brings me no peace. I don't understand it and to be honest, I don't want to. ACIM doctrrine feels like hell to me.
Okay, so David Wilcock is a man I highly respect and he has helped bring me a long way in my spiritual path. The LOO is a big (huge) part of his life, which just thrills me. For the first time, something was really resonating with me!
So...today I got onto his website and I noticed he had a whole section dedicated to ACIM, even had a man that runs that part of the site. David is the one who requested that this part of his site be done. I seriously felt like somebody had punched me in the gut as hard as they could. I felt a little panicky. I know I'm just being a cry baby, but I was just sooooo upset about this. I felt as if all the progress I'd made spiritually was shot to hell because now the site I love to go to is embracing something that scares me so much.
I am in a deep depression right now as a result of it...crying...blah blah blah...wahhhhh waaaaahhhh....
I almost feel like a person who perhaps had climbed for a long time up a mountain so they could glimpse the light, and somebody pushed them down to the bottom. I feel like somebody knocked me back into kindergarten. No...pre-school. I just don't know what to do anymore, or what to believe, or what to embrace. I feel like crap.
Thanks for "listening". Sorry I'm so emotional. I just don't have anybody to turn to but people like you.
Love, Kristy the confused, messed up, blubbering pre-schooler
David talks about graduating to 4th density, and on up the ladder...he talks about spiritual evolution and all the things LOO teaches. So if that's the case, why start teaching that none of us exist? It seems so contradictory.