09-04-2017, 03:00 AM
(07-13-2017, 02:53 PM)Bring4th_Austin Wrote: "Pretend you are dead" is sort of like a grimmer way of saying "all is well."Gotta say, that's the funniest insight I've read in a long time.
Seriously though, I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering this way, Austin. But I'm not entirely surprised by it. You remind me of a guy I once met who was getting sort of serious with a girlfriend, but refused for two or three months to tell her what he did for a living. She got kind of concerned and finally went to the internet and found out he worked for a group that sold literature about conversations with aliens. At that point she really got worried, thinking he was in some sort of cult. So, I can see how the impulse to hunker down and protect self can cause conflicts if you have trouble negotiating that territory.
Sounds to me like the rash could be an outward manifestation of some inner conflict--however you might define that. (Maybe, I need to protect myself from life's dangers, but I also need to be open to the good things out there. I'm having trouble doing both.) It's possible that what you're experiencing is PTSD from some very early experience where circumstances caused you to feel a huge spike of vulnerability and, consequently, your system dumped a big load of stress hormones into your system, and when those feelings come up in real time, your body remembers the past experience and re-dumps the stress hormones. If you think that might be the case, there are folks around who can work with that kind of thing.
Your query, so to speak, was about the spiritual dimensions of this. I might suggest that this could be an invitation to explore deeper levels of acceptance of self and other and, by extension, the One Infinite Creator. This condition does offer a pathway inside you, and one option would be to put on paper all of the associated feelings and people and various aspects of self, and try to reach out with your heart to each of these, exploring what it might feel like to offer them acceptance and warmth. Another thing you might try is accepting that you may just be more Austin-tacious than you think you are........
I wish you the best.
~J