I think wanting apologies is somewhat counterproductive to healing, because it denies acceptance. To be honest, apologies are something that always left me feeling awkward, like all is well, I get one can have frustrations or be exhausted and more likely to be impatient or rude, makes me just wish the other person would not feel bad becsuse of me. (when you get to that you are everything is a total literal fashion, not accepting makes less and less sense)
If you struggle with the idea that she won't feel bad or apologize, then focus on accepting she may never will and that it is well and good. Some have a false idea that all that there is to accept is actual events, when really every thought that enters your mind requires to be accepted and generates a state of tension with yourself if not (karma).
That you are vulnerable, easily hurt and hung up on things that have hurt you is no one's responsability but your own. The journey is one of self-discovery and healing is tied to that. There is no forgiveness unless it comes down to you accepting an aspect of yourself and this brings me to these two quotes I think may be helpful to you:
It might be helpful to bring this back to yourself. What you struggle with is forgiving yourself and you think you have to make things right in a way that removes from another their own honor/duty of being resonsible for themselves.
You seem like there are quite a lot of things you have never forgiven yourself for. This is the real work and your friend, sharing one same identity with you, acts as a mirror that may help you with that. Everyone's duty is to forgive themselves, which liberates their inner light and love.
Thought to add. Your friend has never really hurt you, it is your own judgments of yourself that did.
If you struggle with the idea that she won't feel bad or apologize, then focus on accepting she may never will and that it is well and good. Some have a false idea that all that there is to accept is actual events, when really every thought that enters your mind requires to be accepted and generates a state of tension with yourself if not (karma).
That you are vulnerable, easily hurt and hung up on things that have hurt you is no one's responsability but your own. The journey is one of self-discovery and healing is tied to that. There is no forgiveness unless it comes down to you accepting an aspect of yourself and this brings me to these two quotes I think may be helpful to you:
Quote:Ra: I am Ra. The Law of One, though beyond the limitations of name, as you call vibratory sound complexes, may be approximated by stating that all things are one, that there is no polarity, no right or wrong, no disharmony, but only identity. All is one, and that one is love/light, light/love, the Infinite Creator.
One of the primal distortions of the Law of One is that of healing. Healing occurs when a mind/body/spirit complex realizes, deep within itself, the Law of One; that is, that there is no disharmony, no imperfection; that all is complete and whole and perfect. Thus, the intelligent infinity within this mind/body/spirit complex re-forms the illusion of body, mind, or spirit to a form congruent with the Law of One. The healer acts as energizer or catalyst for this completely individual process.
Quote:Ra: I am Ra. You are correct. We will briefly expand upon this understanding in order to clarify.
Forgiveness of other-self is forgiveness of self. An understanding of this insists upon full forgiveness upon the conscious level of self and other-self, for they are one. A full forgiveness is thus impossible without the inclusion of self.
It might be helpful to bring this back to yourself. What you struggle with is forgiving yourself and you think you have to make things right in a way that removes from another their own honor/duty of being resonsible for themselves.
You seem like there are quite a lot of things you have never forgiven yourself for. This is the real work and your friend, sharing one same identity with you, acts as a mirror that may help you with that. Everyone's duty is to forgive themselves, which liberates their inner light and love.
Thought to add. Your friend has never really hurt you, it is your own judgments of yourself that did.