So, nobody ever really engages me in conversation unsolicited...

[reeay]

Ultimately, no one can fulfill one's expectations until one realizes that having no expectations is the only way to leave behind the looping effect of dissatisfaction... appreciation or gratitude in every moment is a valuable friendship that lasts a long time.

[kanonathena]

I am a loner myself, no phone calls, only a couple friends contacting frequently. I have the fortune to be friends with a number of very spiritual people. To me it is about acceptance, as I accept more, more people pop into my life with a genuine interest to communicate with me.

[Adonai One]

[redacted]

---

If you believe that you making the first step equals receiving pity, perhaps you should re-explore your thoughts and ideas in regards to relationships and frienship, Adonai. In the word relationship, you will find the word "relation": a link that goes both ways, not just one. How about exploring the source of this feeling and healing it? I sense you are shielding (consciously or subconsciously) yourself from others right now, and until it will be resolved, you will only be partially open to relations with others, which results in your current situation.

The problem is usually within one self rather than outside. Start healing from within and others will come to you.

I misinterpreted this at first to much embarassment. Now that I understand you, you are correct. Thank you.

[vervex]

I misinterpreted this at first to much embarassment. Now that I understand you, you are correct. Thank you.

I didn't get to read your first reply but just in case, my reply was meant as a friendly advice, not as an insult of any kind

[Hototo]

I shall approach you more unsolicited once I am. How shall I explain this adequately. Not feeling a gaping whole in the front of my being from my root to my heart where my ex-girlfriend used to be. It seems rude to project such a base feeling to others so I cant approach you "unsolicited" right now. Perhaps in time it will grow over. Time as always, eventually tells everything.

[Plenum]

I never get any random emails, facebook messages, texts or phone calls from anybody. In fact, the last time I did was when I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, my social life went into decline.

I saw this, and thought of you Adonai:





don't worry; I'm not the most popular guy in real life either

[Daydreamin]

I never get any random emails, facebook messages, texts or phone calls from anybody. In fact, the last time I did was when I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, my social life went into decline.

98% of the time if I want to talk to people, I have to start the conversation or reply to one that is already ongoing. If I just let my inboxes sit for a month or so, I'll likely find little to nothing. It's like I wasn't even gone

Now, I don't want anyone to start messaging me out of pity. That's not my point. In fact, I'll probably be annoyed by it. This is just a matter of general curiosity. I know many people have this problem.

I just want to know this: Are some people just not generally liked for whatever reason or is there a quantifiable factor here for why some people just aren't talked to or engaged?

The World is Your Mirror.



How often do you or have you done the same thing you talk about?

[Hototo]

I never get any random emails, facebook messages, texts or phone calls from anybody. In fact, the last time I did was when I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, my social life went into decline.

98% of the time if I want to talk to people, I have to start the conversation or reply to one that is already ongoing. If I just let my inboxes sit for a month or so, I'll likely find little to nothing. It's like I wasn't even gone

Now, I don't want anyone to start messaging me out of pity. That's not my point. In fact, I'll probably be annoyed by it. This is just a matter of general curiosity. I know many people have this problem.

I just want to know this: Are some people just not generally liked for whatever reason or is there a quantifiable factor here for why some people just aren't talked to or engaged?

The World is Your Mirror.

How often do you or have you done the same thing you talk about?

*nod*

[Jade]

[redacted]

---

If you believe that you making the first step equals receiving pity, perhaps you should re-explore your thoughts and ideas in regards to relationships and frienship, Adonai. In the word relationship, you will find the word "relation": a link that goes both ways, not just one. How about exploring the source of this feeling and healing it? I sense you are shielding (consciously or subconsciously) yourself from others right now, and until it will be resolved, you will only be partially open to relations with others, which results in your current situation.

The problem is usually within one self rather than outside. Start healing from within and others will come to you.

I misinterpreted this at first to much embarassment. Now that I understand you, you are correct. Thank you.

I offer you my own postscript to vervex's insightful response.

I like to think of The Golden Rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. If you are not willing to reach out to a friend unsolicited, why do you feel that you deserve that special form of contact from an other self? Whether palatable or not, human interactions all involve some form of energy, whether emotional or otherwise. We must be comfortable in that realm of interaction to be able to participate. You fear pity, but is pity not just a form of love? As is all, my brother. The path can be a light switch or it can be a long and winding road. The choice is yours.

[Adonai One]

I reach out to countless people. Vervex's comment was a bit different... It seems I emotionally restrict myself in ways I have yet to properly quantify.

Anyways, thanks for the theories but it seems my intelligence is not that lacking. I am aware to the point to where I know I have to show an initiative.

Anyways, yes, pity is a form of love but so is lying in order not to insult somebody. It's a love based on fear. Fear is of little value to me. Although pity seems to have at least two or more meanings. There can be a genuine pity that is hard to seperate from the one that people do out of guilt.

[Jade]

I apologize if I came off as insulting or insinuating, I was merely offering my approach, which has not been foolproof but has indeed brought me peace more often than not.

I have nothing else to offer but my all the love and light I can muster, and these not-so-subtle attempts at unsolicited social interaction that you desire, and have therefore enjoyed you for you without pity or fearful love.

Thank you, Adonai!

[Adonai One]

I apologize if I came off as insulting or insinuating, I was merely offering my approach, which has not been foolproof but has indeed brought me peace more often than not.

I have nothing else to offer but my all the love and light I can muster, and these not-so-subtle attempts at unsolicited social interaction that you desire, and have therefore enjoyed you for you without pity or fearful love.

Thank you, Adonai!

My friend, you have the right to speak to me however you please. No apology is necessary. All I want from people is to be who they are.

I appreciate your offering. In fact, I was not insulted by it for it was wise.

You offer your love and light in every moment.

Thank you for being you, Guenivere.

[Jade]

Thank you so much. As you can see, I need much work myself. I feared your ire so I appreciate your acceptance so much more.

Blessings abound!