Wanting Our Own World

[AnthroHeart]

It took some time for me to come to terms with anthros not being perfect.
I realize that anthros can do battle.
I've said that I didn't want to get involved in an anthro war.

I want anthros simple, like my own life. But providing the love that I don't feel in my day.
I don't know why I find it hard to get close to another person.
I've had sex with other men before. Several men.
One of them is somewhat negative in his views, so I never considered a relationship,
though I've known him longer than any of the other men. We have a lot in common.
Though he is an atheist, so our beliefs differ. Still, that doesn't make me like him any less.
He is a good friend.

[Unbound]

How do you feel if you were to imagine a human man who is strong, masculine, a bit dominant, but also very compassionate, loving and kind?

[AnthroHeart]

That would depend on what he saw in me.
If he showed me love, it could be onto a great thing.

I need someone to help me realize my own love.
I don't always love myself.

I'm not sure though I might still prefer the anthro.

[Unbound]

I think I am finally beginning to understand you, my friend. I think you should get out, meet some fellows, maybe love is just around the corner for you.

[AnthroHeart]

That could very well be. But I'm always afraid of getting lost when I go to new places. I think my fantasies fulfill me.
Or maybe they don't because I'm not always happy.
But being in a relationship they'd be times when I'm not happy either.
And humans have drama.

[Unbound]

I think there is more waiting for you, if you are willing to take the steps to go beyond your fears, but that is just what my intuition says. I think your fantasies are 'safe', and surely, there is no harm in you having them, have at'er aha but I do feel like they are maybe a security, a comfort zone that while it does 'protect' you, it is also a way to avoid having to deal with the more uncertain experiences of the real world and real love. A bubble that protects us and keeps us in, also keeps out everything else.

---

That could very well be. But I'm always afraid of getting lost when I go to new places. I think my fantasies fulfill me.
Or maybe they don't because I'm not always happy.
But being in a relationship they'd be times when I'm not happy either.
And humans have drama.

My friend, in the other thread you ask how to feel ok?

This is my answer - get messy, get dirty, make mistakes, try things out, attempt things, LIVE WITHOUT FEAR.

[AnthroHeart]

I don't like arguing with people, which undoubtedly happens in a relationship.
But you're right, my fantasies are safe.
For all I know I could attract a murderer.

I know, my imagination sometimes goes into overdrive.

[Unbound]

And for all you know, you could attract the love of your life. Why focus only on the negative?

My friend, relationships are about balance, they have ups and downs just like the rest of life. You are so focused on what you don't want and on what you want to avoid, how can you attract what you do want? Yes, there can be disagreements and impassioned feelings during relationships, but that doesn't mean it isn't a worthwhile experience, or that these disagreements aren't beneficial, just the same as in any other field of life. Yet, when you do find a relationship that works for you and the other person, there is no other experience like it.

Don't be afraid to try things out or to try people out. Maybe the first person you try will be right for you, but if they are not that doesn't mean give up, but rather define more what you are looking for.

I think you would be less frightened of humans if you spent more focus on what you do like about them rather than being intimidated by what you don't.

Maybe you will even find someone who also feels as strongly as you do about anthros and you can enjoy that concept more physically, or even astrally with the person.

Aha I don't know, I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything but to be honest I see an anthro-wolf whom expresses itself as your guide, and he says that the reason you became a human is to share the beauty of the philosophy of unconditional love and intimate love that the anthros have with humans. He said the reason you are dissatisfied with humans and being human is because you watched them before coming here and before incarnating. You incarnated to see why humans acted the way that they do and what it was like to be that way.

The guide also tells me that you are in shock over your human experience because it is so veiled compared to before and that is why you long for death, to be 'home' and to be with anthros again, your consciousness is in shock. However, he also says that you are avoiding the very work you came here to do by trying to avoid getting involved with the human drama and fully embracing the human experience. You are seeking understanding and that is only gained through direct experience. He says that if you left now, or if you did not realize your own humanness and thus gain understanding of being human, you would just choose to come back again because that is the kind of being you 'normally' are. One who doesn't leave anything unfinished and because of a deeply compassionate heart seeking to understand the Creator you would gladly plunge yourself in to this experience again to gain that understanding.

This is because the you that exists on that level has no fears, no doubts nor inhibitions towards struggle or effort. The you on that level is courageous, daring and innocently enthusiastic. You have veiled yourself so heavily because you are trying to get a totally human experience, and in particular because of your compassionate heart, you have programmed difficulties and challenges of acceptance that would normally be very easy for you but out of your desire to understand the lack of compassion humans exhibit you have also veiled those parts of yourself to make it so you can encounter the side of yourself that you were unable to know in your higher form (due to lack of veil).

You can see it that the things you have difficulties with now, are things that are actually normally very easy for you. You are getting to know your fully true self by exploring all your opposites.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you Tanner, my friend, for confirmation from my guide. It resonates very strongly with me.
I don't want to leave any work unfinished. And I had a feeling that if I left "early" I would return.
Shock about describes it. My veil feels unusually thick.
I want to do what I need to so that I don't have to come back again.
But knowing my love I have for others, I'm not sure if I can stay away once I pass on.
Viewpoint changes when you're on the other side.

I'm really glad my guide was able to talk through you. I don't hear him so much.

[Unbound]

He said he is always with you but because of the thickness of your veil being made thicker with fear and uncertainty you usually cannot see or hear him, but he always sees and hears you. He said that when you long to leave, to die or to return to your anthro body it is because of this thickening of the veil. He says it is easiest to talk with him when you are feeling ready and willing to live and engage your life as that is what his guidance is for, not for comfort or for the escape in to fantasy. You must face your fear of living if the barriers between yourself and your guidance is to dissolve. He says you are more than capable, but you must muster the motivation, the desire, and that is your true challenge, to give yourself meaning and reason to live. That, he says, is what is key in your quest to understand what it means to be human.

He also says that you can call on him through this name - Kel'Ir (kell-err) which he says is the most vocally pleasing rendition of his name in english. He also wants you to know that he is family (in higher form) and that you are his nephew.

---

He also urged me to find an image that would resemble him for you to see and this is the one pointed out to me.

[AnthroHeart]

Thanks Tanner once again. I really resonated with being his nephew.

[AnthroHeart]

I got thoughts of dying earlier today, but I said no to them, because of what you had written regarding my guide. I hope it's going to be easier to say no to those thoughts. I know we should accept all things, but I can't accept death and dying, at my young age. Even though I previously would have wanted to, I think now I am beginning to love life a bit more. Not always trying to take the easy way out.

Getting out and meeting new people is going to be difficult for me. I can't go to bars because I can't drink alcohol with my meds.

[Unbound]

I got thoughts of dying earlier today, but I said no to them, because of what you had written regarding my guide. I hope it's going to be easier to say no to those thoughts. I know we should accept all things, but I can't accept death and dying, at my young age. Even though I previously would have wanted to, I think now I am beginning to love life a bit more. Not always trying to take the easy way out.

Getting out and meeting new people is going to be difficult for me. I can't go to bars because I can't drink alcohol with my meds.

You have a lot more strength than you yet realize, but you will, you are on the way, my friend. Also, you can go to bars and not drink! Aha

[xise]

I got thoughts of dying earlier today, but I said no to them, because of what you had written regarding my guide. I hope it's going to be easier to say no to those thoughts. I know we should accept all things, but I can't accept death and dying, at my young age. Even though I previously would have wanted to, I think now I am beginning to love life a bit more. Not always trying to take the easy way out.

Getting out and meeting new people is going to be difficult for me. I can't go to bars because I can't drink alcohol with my meds.

You have a lot more strength than you yet realize, but you will, you are on the way, my friend. Also, you can go to bars and not drink! Aha

Have a glass of water always in hand. If you smoke, that's also something to keep you busy (I do cigars to pass the time when out sometimes). If you have to explain yourself and you don't wish to get into it, you can always say you don't drink period and often new people you meet won't ask why.

This thread is beautiful btw.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you Xise. Your words are always so supportive.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm so sorry Kel'Ir (kell-err) for the way I've been feeling. How I've wanted to go home so badly.
How I continue to pray to go home, now.

My sorrow knows no bounds, for how I feel.

I am thankful to Kel'Ir (kell-err) for watching over me.

But still I want to go home.

[Horuseus]

Was making my way through another of Seths' book, when I came across this. Seemed to correlate with your issue (When 'God' told you to do certain things).

One of the most rare (long pause) and extraordinary developments that can occur in schizophrenic behavior is the construction of a seeming superbeing of remarkable power – one who is able to convince other people of his divinity.

Most such instances historically have involved males, who claim to have the powers of clairvoyance, prophecy, and omnipotence. Obviously, then, the affected individual was thought to be speaking for God when he gave orders or directives. We are dealing with "god-making" (hyphen), or "religion-making" – whichever you prefer.

There's quite a bit there regarding Schizophrenia, the desire for suicide etc, so you may want to look into that for an external vantage point.

[AnthroHeart]

Horuseus, do you have a link to more of the Seth material regarding schizophrenia?
It's not been fun. I remember seeing 2 ghosts once, and that freaked me out.
Thanks for what you've posted so far.

[Horuseus]

Horuseus, do you have a link to more of the Seth material regarding schizophrenia?
It's not been fun. I remember seeing 2 ghosts once, and that freaked me out.
Thanks for what you've posted so far.

The one I have is actually a pdf copy which I can't readily copy text from. I googled a small portion of a relevant excerpt to find that quote posted online.

When I've some free time later on I'll copy the relevant pages and post them up here for you .

[Unbound]

I'm so sorry Kel'Ir (kell-err) for the way I've been feeling. How I've wanted to go home so badly.
How I continue to pray to go home, now.

My sorrow knows no bounds, for how I feel.

I am thankful to Kel'Ir (kell-err) for watching over me.

But still I want to go home.

Hehe, It's just Kel'Ir, the bracketed part is the pronunciation but he is just happy you are talking with him.

[AnthroHeart]

I wonder if Kel'Ir was wiser and more powerful than I was when I was part of his family on the other side of the veil.
I don't want to disappoint him, or make him sad for the way I feel.
I want to be a joy in his life.
Is his only job to watch over me? I wonder how he has fun.
I don't want to be a burden to him.
But I just can't feel his love.

[Unbound]

I wonder if Kel'Ir was wiser and more powerful than I was when I was part of his family on the other side of the veil.
I don't want to disappoint him, or make him sad for the way I feel.
I want to be a joy in his life.
Is his only job to watch over me? I wonder how he has fun.
I don't want to be a burden to him.
But I just can't feel his love.

He is here to teach you trust and faith, as well as be a companion, friend, guide, teacher and eventually, student. Look at all you have said here, you doubt yourself and do not trust yourself because you are looking for confirmation. You must have faith, that is the lesson here.

You must understand, from where you come from "wiser and more powerful" isn't really something you are concerned with. What you must understand is that there is no way you can disappoint him because he has no expectation of you. He isn't all-powerful nor is any being but he is very self-aware and he is positively polarized so you can rest assured that he is forgiving of you and only wants good things for you. Remember it takes time to get to know people and build a connection and this is true for us with our guides as well.

Although we are very close on other levels, to make a conscious connection is needed to open up to the direct access to talking with our friends, which is what guides really are, are friends and family. Well, unless one has a negative guide, but that is a little different.

It will take time, you must be patient my friend. He is completely non-judging towards you, so put that fear from your mind.

He says that you can try to talk to him more directly by first visualizing him and saying his name and just first building a feeling of his presence. Then you can start to talk to him and use the image of him as a representation of him to talk through.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you Tanner for the awesome info. I just updated my blog with how I feel about Kel'Ir.
Honestly, I had another guide by the name of Cecil. But we never really did much together.
At least that was the name impression that came to me.

I am glad I have a friend in him.
You've really made my day.

[Unbound]

Aha I am ecstatic for you, my friend.

[AnthroHeart]

I wish I could feel ecstatic.
I am quite anxious today.

[Unbound]

Aha I do not see stress and happiness as exclusive of eachother, personally, although it is certainly hard to consider happiness when one is stressed.

[AnthroHeart]

I just realized I don't need a world with anthros to be happy. It's all a choice.
It doesn't matter if the world manifests my desires.
It's just good to be alive at this time.

A friend told me "it sounds like you want to become a god" and I told him that we are all potentially gods with amnesia.

He told me that after I told him I wanted to be a point of consciousness without a body, and subsist on light energy.

[manniz]

You have a lot more strength than you yet realize, but you will, you are on the way, my friend. Also, you can go to bars and not drink! Aha

Why can't we have more threads like these!

[Unbound]

I just realized I don't need a world with anthros to be happy. It's all a choice.
It doesn't matter if the world manifests my desires.
It's just good to be alive at this time.

A friend told me "it sounds like you want to become a god" and I told him that we are all potentially gods with amnesia.

He told me that after I told him I wanted to be a point of consciousness without a body, and subsist on light energy.

Aha I believe my work here is done. I am happy to see this new freedom of enjoyment you are experiencing.

[AnthroHeart]

I just realized I don't need a world with anthros to be happy. It's all a choice.
It doesn't matter if the world manifests my desires.
It's just good to be alive at this time.

A friend told me "it sounds like you want to become a god" and I told him that we are all potentially gods with amnesia.

He told me that after I told him I wanted to be a point of consciousness without a body, and subsist on light energy.

Aha I believe my work here is done. I am happy to see this new freedom of enjoyment you are experiencing.

Indeed. I think I can start to hear my guide talking if I listen to my intuition and have faith in that. I've always known the right things they tell me, but just don't always listen. I can intuit the right things to do and how to be.