-

[AngelofDeath]

You are the Creator, you can do all that you desire to do. Look in the mirror, know there is the Creator looking back at you, there waiting for you to begin to use your potential. You cannot fail before you have tried, and if you try, and so long as you try, you shall never truly fail because life is a forward movement.

I am also an artist and a musician, I have many projects and I, like you, am terrified of my inability to complete them. However, each day that goes by, I realize that it is not capability that I lack, but confidence in that capability. The reason I lack that is because I do not practice, practice is important in almost all of life's activities.

Maybe you won't see everything change right away, but sometimes when life is pushing on you, you just gotta push back. The struggle won't last forever, I promise, there are things that are worth the effort. I see a very bright future for you in your potential, you have but to see it for yourself.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[AnthroHeart]

Be sure to use headphones when listening to the beats.
You can get music with the beats imposed in them too.

[Lighthead]

@Lighthead

You can ask whatever you like. Financially my parents are not that wealthy. We're barely middle class, not that they would ever help me go abroad even if they had more money.


@Gemini Wolf

I tried some beats as you suggested. The sounds were nice to listen to, though I did not feel noticeable difference in my mental state. I'll keep trying though.

Okay, here it goes. My question is, why do you limit yourself to just web design or programming? Are these limitations ones that your family has imposed upon you? And why does some type of easy certification not seem like a viable option to help you get on your feet? I realize that that last one was sort of a loaded question. If you got some type of certification, you could become financially independent.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[AngelofDeath]

No talent develops without practice and all talents appear unskilled until there is practice. I have learned this the hard way for myself. I am a very talented musician, but without practice, I can only barely manifest the potential of that talent. Life needs only a bit of tenacity to keep moving you forward. Being afraid can be good, it keeps you on your toes.

[Lighthead]

@AngelofDeath

You have a point about having to try. I must make an exerted effort in the coming weeks to have a better opinion of my talents (or lack thereof)


@Lighthead

The reason I can't see many options is because of my social anxiety. I want to find a job that I can perform in a digital environment, ideally as a freelancer. Only web design / programming sounds a little reasonable to my parents. And my father is a technophobe.

Maybe I could look around for further alternatives, though.

Yeah, actually some certifications probably do incline you to be around people. I hadn't thought of your social anxiety. I would say to just keep on looking for alternatives. There has to be something out there.

[AnthroHeart]

I used to have suicidal ideation, but I would be asking God or Ra to please kill me. It never worked, which I am glad.
I never wanted to do it myself. Though I had thoughts about that.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[Shemaya]

earth_spirit

So many have reached back to you to reflect the love that you have inside.  It's a showering of love and support to uplift you.  I read your words and the first thing that I see is how clear and truthfully you express yourself.  I don't think English is your native, but your words are very eloquent. That is a gift, the gift to express the truth.

Trust in your potential, you have infinite potential. You are supported, though it may not always feel that way. You are supported in your infinite potential.  Trust.

I felt much the same way when I was your age, 26 years ago.  My anxiety was terribly painful, the oppressive socialization of my early life left me feeling stuck, chained and helpless.  But I persisted.  I was able to break free, and you can too.

Trust that you have talent and gifts to give, because you do.  Trust that you will be guided each step of the way, and you will. Trust that life can be beautiful. There is beauty all around even in the dark.

I hope the best for you, that you will prosper and be well and secure.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[AnthroHeart]

This is supposed to help with depression.
It's got isochronic tones which are similar to binaural beats.




From here:

www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10560

[Spaced]

Don't have anything to add other than my well wishes.

Hope you find peace friend.

[Stranger]

Questioner: Do I understand, then, that death, whether it is by natural means or accidental means or suicide, that all deaths of this type would create the same after-death condition which would avail the entity to its protection from friends? Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. We presume you mean to inquire whether in the death experience, no matter what the cause, the negative friends are not able to remove an entity. This is correct largely because the entity without the attachment to the space/time physical complex is far more aware and without the gullibility which is somewhat the hallmark of those who love wholeheartedly.

However, the death, if natural, would undoubtedly be the more harmonious; the death by murder being confused and the entity needing some time/space in which to get its bearings, so to speak; the death by suicide causing the necessity for much healing work and, shall we say, the making of a dedication to the third-density for the renewed opportunity of learning the lessons set by the higher self.

[/quote src=http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/1981/1981_0329.aspx]
N: What happens to persons who have crises in their life?

I am Latwii. I am aware of your question. The nature of the events following the premature ending of a life by conscious act or suicide are various, depending upon the state of mind and basic vibration of the entity. However, there are some common problems with this action. That is, the removal of the entity from the life experience it was unable to finish then causes this same entity to at some point re-travel the same path in another attempt to finish the life experience begun but not ended. However, because of the trauma of the physical death it is more difficult to solve the life experience upon the rerun, shall we say. This is perhaps the most salient, common experience associated with this action.
[/quote]

Carla: Could you comment on suicide?

I am Latwii, and am aware not only of your query but of your concern. This subject is one which has many ramifications, as you would expect, for the taking of one’s own life in a conscious fashion is but a most distorted means of making a transition from your current illusion to the next, for each entity within your illusion shall at some point leave it. The choice to leave shall be made in most cases on the subconscious level, there having been the completion of the tasks set out or sufficient completion to warrant such transition. In some cases there is the need to regroup, shall we say, for the lessons have become somewhat a heavy burden and there was perhaps the biting off of more than could be chewn—we correct this instrument—than could be successfully chewed. The word still sounds funny—we shall continue, nevertheless.

In the case of the suicide, the choice to leave the incarnation and the illusion is made upon the conscious level, yet is made with a consciousness which has become distorted by the difficulties which are presented to it. In most cases the taking of one’s own life in such a conscious fashion cuts short that which remained full of potential, and therefore the entity so leaving finds the need within its own being to recommit itself to the illusion which was so abruptly left.

You’re saying, then, that there are balanced suicides, are you
not?

I am Q’uo, and we mean to leave the room for the
possibilities that in some cases this is so. However, in
the general run of the third-density incarnational
experience, your assumption concerning the nature
of the taking of one’s own life is correct in that it is a
partaking in that separation of self from the
incarnation which reflects the path of that which is
not, and this path in its final form pulls that which is
and there must eventually be the balanced point of
view which the building of the karmic momentum
will necessitate within a future.

C: It seems that more and more who experience depression never really come out. People in such a state have turned to suicide, various other methods of totally escaping from the illusion. How may one best aid someone, who has gone to such an extreme, to stay?

I am Latwii, and am aware of your query, my brother. The aid that might be given to such an entity is an aid which can only point in the direction of the inward search. Each entity making that journey inward, whatever the motivation, shall find two paths, either of which might be chosen. There is that path that leads toward the light. This path looks at all which surround it—correction—looks at all which surrounds the entity as an opportunity to grow in understanding, and to use the illusion as a tool for evolution, and this path requires a certain maturity, as you are aware. It is a path frequently not chosen.

The other path which an entity discovers within is that path which you have called the escape. The escape from the illusion, the escape from the lessons, the escape from the ability to respond to the challenge. To aid an entity who has chosen this path most efficiently, we might suggest the recounting of those times within the past of your own being in which you have encountered the difficulties, and share your point of view as to how these difficulties aided your own growth. By providing an example or a pattern, if you will, to such an entity, you might once again allow the entity to see some glimmer of light, and to turn its feet to another path.

I had several years of psychiatric therapy during and after the time of Don’s
illness and death in 1984. At the time, we were both going through what I
could roughly call nervous breakdowns or depressions. The difference
between us was our level of trust in others and our willingness to listen to
the people trying to help us. I survived. Don descended into madness and
committed suicide. I know he felt this was the “right” thing for him to do.
In my heartfelt opinion, suicide is never a good idea. While I can well
understand the despair and sense of unbearable pressure that make people
turn to ending it all, suicide dœs not end anything except the present life
and the opportunities for learning within this incarnation. In Illusions,
Richard Bach said, more or less, that if we are alive, we still have a mission
to complete and it is not time to leave. I agree. When it’s time for us to
move on, the Creator will take us on to larger life. I am aware of the
rationalizations for suicide for people who wish to die with dignity. And in
a sense, it is not my business what people besides myself do. I would not
judge a person harshly for choosing to end her life. I would feel, however,
that she had made an unwise decision. I know what it is like to survive the
suicide of a loved one. In my case, there ensued six tremendously painful
years during which I aively wanted to die, myself, for the omissions and
commissions of things said and left unsaid that contributed to Don’s
despair.

The most likely culprit in the root-ray or red energy center is the self’s basic opinion of the self as being either a deserving portion or an undeserving portion of the creation. Those who are harboring depressed thoughts and thoughts of suicide, for instance, will block almost all energy coming into the body system.

A good example of this is the feelings of family in the event of suicide. Even those who are not related to the family member but were friends will consider to themselves immediately upon hearing of the demise of such an entity in suicide all of the things that could have been done had the person realized in what bad shape the entity was. Even though the entity has moved on and nothing can be done these phantom feelings are very real and must be dealt with as though they had something to do with consensus reality.

May we say to you that lives, as you know them,
whether long or short, by any standards, are in a

certain pattern, which you have chosen before you
enter into the pattern. As a result of going from the
beginning to the end of this pattern, your spirit
hopes that it will have learned certain lessons, and
thus have improved and defined the vibration which
is its essence in the sphere of eternity in which all of
you truly glow.

When one contemplates and then does that which is
known as suicide, one cuts short before the natural
end the time of learning, and more often than not
the lessons which that soul had hoped to learn had
not been learned. Consequently, it is often so that
rather than alleviating karma, the action of taking
one’s life adds more karma to the burden which is
already carried and which you are trying to discharge
by the expression which is the lifetime which you are
now living.

Thus, when you reenter incarnation you have not
only the original lesson to relearn but an additional
severity to that lesson which is brought on by that
pain which you have caused to those who you have
previously left. Many times this type of karma is
alleviated by the total forgiveness of those whom you
have hurt.

However, it is simply desirable to live until it is time
for your lesson to be through, for your burdens to be
laid down. It is a truism, we are aware, but we must
repeat that you are not given those things which you
cannot bear. Thus, working through what is difficult
when you finished with a lifetime at its natural end,
whether it be short or long, you can then go on and
learn other perhaps more agreeable lessons in other
perhaps more agreeable spheres or vibrations.

If you may think of your existence as having a
natural rhythm and an ongoing purpose, perhaps it
will be easier for you to understand that suicide, as
you call it, is a stoppage of that rhythm in an
arbitrary manner. Instead, it is desirable to proceed
with the rhythm of your existence, always seeing the
many lessons that are about you and letting the
realization of love flow into you from the Father. If
you can keep these realizations before you, your life
in this realm and all others will be enjoyable and
fruitful. Does this answer your question?

Questioner: Yes, thank you.

[Stranger]

Below is a collection of what Ra, Quo and Latwii had to say about suicide.

Source
Questioner: Do I understand, then, that death, whether it is by natural means or accidental means or suicide, that all deaths of this type would create the same after-death condition which would avail the entity to its protection from friends? Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. We presume you mean to inquire whether in the death experience, no matter what the cause, the negative friends are not able to remove an entity. This is correct largely because the entity without the attachment to the space/time physical complex is far more aware and without the gullibility which is somewhat the hallmark of those who love wholeheartedly.

However, the death, if natural, would undoubtedly be the more harmonious; the death by murder being confused and the entity needing some time/space in which to get its bearings, so to speak; the death by suicide causing the necessity for much healing work and, shall we say, the making of a dedication to the third-density for the renewed opportunity of learning the lessons set by the higher self.

Source
N: What happens to persons who have crises in their life?

I am Latwii. I am aware of your question. The nature of the events following the premature ending of a life by conscious act or suicide are various, depending upon the state of mind and basic vibration of the entity. However, there are some common problems with this action. That is, the removal of the entity from the life experience it was unable to finish then causes this same entity to at some point re-travel the same path in another attempt to finish the life experience begun but not ended. However, because of the trauma of the physical death it is more difficult to solve the life experience upon the rerun, shall we say. This is perhaps the most salient, common experience associated with this action.

Source
Carla: Could you comment on suicide?

I am Latwii, and am aware not only of your query but of your concern. This subject is one which has many ramifications, as you would expect, for the taking of one’s own life in a conscious fashion is but a most distorted means of making a transition from your current illusion to the next, for each entity within your illusion shall at some point leave it. The choice to leave shall be made in most cases on the subconscious level, there having been the completion of the tasks set out or sufficient completion to warrant such transition. In some cases there is the need to regroup, shall we say, for the lessons have become somewhat a heavy burden and there was perhaps the biting off of more than could be chewn—we correct this instrument—than could be successfully chewed. The word still sounds funny—we shall continue, nevertheless.

In the case of the suicide, the choice to leave the incarnation and the illusion is made upon the conscious level, yet is made with a consciousness which has become distorted by the difficulties which are presented to it. In most cases the taking of one’s own life in such a conscious fashion cuts short that which remained full of potential, and therefore the entity so leaving finds the need within its own being to recommit itself to the illusion which was so abruptly left.

Source
C: It seems that more and more who experience depression never really come out. People in such a state have turned to suicide, various other methods of totally escaping from the illusion. How may one best aid someone, who has gone to such an extreme, to stay?

I am Latwii, and am aware of your query, my brother. The aid that might be given to such an entity is an aid which can only point in the direction of the inward search. Each entity making that journey inward, whatever the motivation, shall find two paths, either of which might be chosen. There is that path that leads toward the light. This path looks at all which surround it—correction—looks at all which surrounds the entity as an opportunity to grow in understanding, and to use the illusion as a tool for evolution, and this path requires a certain maturity, as you are aware. It is a path frequently not chosen.

The other path which an entity discovers within is that path which you have called the escape. The escape from the illusion, the escape from the lessons, the escape from the ability to respond to the challenge. To aid an entity who has chosen this path most efficiently, we might suggest the recounting of those times within the past of your own being in which you have encountered the difficulties, and share your point of view as to how these difficulties aided your own growth. By providing an example or a pattern, if you will, to such an entity, you might once again allow the entity to see some glimmer of light, and to turn its feet to another path.

Source
I had several years of psychiatric therapy during and after the time of Don’s
illness and death in 1984. At the time, we were both going through what I
could roughly call nervous breakdowns or depressions. The difference
between us was our level of trust in others and our willingness to listen to
the people trying to help us. I survived. Don descended into madness and
committed suicide. I know he felt this was the “right” thing for him to do.
In my heartfelt opinion, suicide is never a good idea. While I can well
understand the despair and sense of unbearable pressure that make people
turn to ending it all, suicide does not end anything except the present life
and the opportunities for learning within this incarnation. In Illusions,
Richard Bach said, more or less, that if we are alive, we still have a mission
to complete and it is not time to leave. I agree. When it’s time for us to
move on, the Creator will take us on to larger life. I am aware of the
rationalizations for suicide for people who wish to die with dignity. And in
a sense, it is not my business what people besides myself do. I would not
judge a person harshly for choosing to end her life. I would feel, however,
that she had made an unwise decision. I know what it is like to survive the
suicide of a loved one. In my case, there ensued six tremendously painful
years during which I actively wanted to die, myself, for the omissions and
commissions of things said and left unsaid that contributed to Don’s
despair.

Source
The most likely culprit in the root-ray or red energy center is the self’s basic opinion of the self as being either a deserving portion or an undeserving portion of the creation. Those who are harboring depressed thoughts and thoughts of suicide, for instance, will block almost all energy coming into the body system.

Source
A good example of this is the feelings of family in the event of suicide. Even those who are not related to the family member but were friends will consider to themselves immediately upon hearing of the demise of such an entity in suicide all of the things that could have been done had the person realized in what bad shape the entity was. Even though the entity has moved on and nothing can be done these phantom feelings are very real and must be dealt with as though they had something to do with consensus reality.

Source
May we say to you that lives, as you know them,
whether long or short, by any standards, are in a

certain pattern, which you have chosen before you
enter into the pattern. As a result of going from the
beginning to the end of this pattern, your spirit
hopes that it will have learned certain lessons, and
thus have improved and defined the vibration which
is its essence in the sphere of eternity in which all of
you truly glow.

When one contemplates and then does that which is
known as suicide, one cuts short before the natural
end the time of learning, and more often than not
the lessons which that soul had hoped to learn had
not been learned. Consequently, it is often so that
rather than alleviating karma, the action of taking
one’s life adds more karma to the burden which is
already carried and which you are trying to discharge
by the expression which is the lifetime which you are
now living.

Thus, when you reenter incarnation you have not
only the original lesson to relearn but an additional
severity to that lesson which is brought on by that
pain which you have caused to those who you have
previously left. Many times this type of karma is
alleviated by the total forgiveness of those whom you
have hurt.

However, it is simply desirable to live until it is time
for your lesson to be through, for your burdens to be
laid down. It is a truism, we are aware, but we must
repeat that you are not given those things which you
cannot bear. Thus, working through what is difficult
when you finished with a lifetime at its natural end,
whether it be short or long, you can then go on and
learn other perhaps more agreeable lessons in other
perhaps more agreeable spheres or vibrations.

If you may think of your existence as having a
natural rhythm and an ongoing purpose, perhaps it
will be easier for you to understand that suicide, as
you call it, is a stoppage of that rhythm in an
arbitrary manner. Instead, it is desirable to proceed
with the rhythm of your existence, always seeing the
many lessons that are about you and letting the
realization of love flow into you from the Father. If
you can keep these realizations before you, your life
in this realm and all others will be enjoyable and
fruitful. Does this answer your question?

Questioner: Yes, thank you.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[Stranger]

We are here for you, brother, and happy to hear that you are making the courageous choice to take a constructive, problem-solving approach. Asking for help from the spirit side is always recommended - there are lots of beings waiting for the opportunity to help, but can't help unless you ask due to free will. Good luck, and let us know how things work out for you!

[Lighthead]

Not to derail the thread, or anything like that, but I'm just curious. earth_spirit, did you at any time in your life spend a good deal of time in an English speaking country? You seem to have a good command of the English language! I want to commend you because you seem very fluent.

Cheers!

Edit: You can PM me with the answer if you'd like, just in case you either don't want to 1) derail the thread, or 2) are too embarrassed to say on this thread. I probably should've PMed you in the first place.

[Karl]

You are not alone. It is very difficult to leave all that you were forced to believe. I've been there and escaping the fear was horrific.

[earth_spirit]

-----

[bosphorus]

hi earth spirit,

i've sent you a message. would you check it out?

[earth_spirit]

-----

[AnthroHeart]

I thought of suicide before. Someone helped me out:

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...#pid161002

Check out that entire thread, it's full of awesome quotes. Even ones relating to death.

[Lighthead]

@Lighthead

Thanks. I've always been in Turkey. I rapidly improved my English during late elemantary school and high school by reading English blogs / articles, watching tv series such as The X-Files, playing video games with a lot of written content (System Shock, Strike series, Civilization II, Fallout 1/2 et cetera) and talking to foreigners on online games to discuss plans, tactics, what have you.

Wow, that's amazing. How interesting. Thanks.

[Splash]

you have some positive change and social evolution happening in your country

http://deadstate.org/turkish-men-are-wea...ting-rape/

[Sacred Fool]

Hi there.

Just a couple of quick thoughts.  First, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so thoroughly boxed in.  At times when I've felt that way, I've found that solutions lay not on the plane where I was searching, but up one level above.  That is, the resources I needed to help me move on were beyond the construct of self I was then living within.  This may be a calling to discover a larger sense of self.  What that means for you, I know not, but you may need to allow yourself to be guided towards it. 

Many years ago I was swimming beneath the surface of a murky lake when I completely lost any sense of which was up.  I fruitlessly swam this and that, ever deceived by the fractured structure of the murky light.  Then I just stopped when I realized I was just wasting my breath, so to speak.  After a short time I began to float in a direction I hadn't suspected.  I accelerated momentum along that vector and breached the surface.  When I finally pulled myself out of the lake I was wholly exhausted, but thenceforth had no fear of the water.  You might find, by sitting quietly and trying to simply "float," that some inkling of a direction forward arises for you.

One other consideration: personally, I don't view suicide as necessarily a bad thing; however, if one goes that way driven by fear, I expect that the fear will become magnified intensely.  You might consider trying the opposite approach and, within your being--perhaps with some help, such as you may be able to find it--moving towards the fear and trying it feel what it has to teach you.  You may ask, even in that context, "Where is the love, where is the light?"

I wish all the best, indeed.

[Nuria Luz]

Hi brother!

Check out this sesion: http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0715.aspx
The whole sesion is awesome! But, among other things, Q'uo says: "Oftentimes, that help which you have with you personally at all times, whether you call it spirit, or guidance, or the Higher Self, will give you hints and warnings. Do not ignore them. Ask for help in visions and dreams, and listen to them. Go into meditation, not simply to listen, but with a question asked, expecting not to awaken with one answer, but expecting and knowing that you will eventually know the answer for yourself to your own satisfaction. A great deal of faith is patience. A great deal of will is persistence".

Also, brother, think that it was you that planed your incarnation as it is. Find out what is it that you can learn from your situation. What is it there that your soul wants to learn and experience? That's what I do when faced with hard times in my life.  

Much Love & Light! 

[seek]

Sorry to hear about the difficulties in your life. I think the thought process you are experiencing is pretty standard for those awakening. Maybe I am just hoping it is because I went through the same thing.

You grow up being told that suicide is about the worst thing you can do. One-way ticket to Hell. Then you learn that there is no Hell and further no judgement. Then you learn that the positive and negative both have value and there is no "right" or "wrong". Mix that with the problems that all of us have in our individual lives, whatever they may be, and you start to take a bit of comfort in the fact that if it gets too tough you can just end it. Oddly enough, I was able to use this to free myself of a lot of fear in life in general. Nothing seemed to really matter as much once I was willing to "die". Take the easy reset!

I am so glad that I was never forced into making this decision because I have learned that this would be a mistake. As others have said, it would not end anything but simply restart it. Think of it like a video game. Does dying ever get you passed that level? Of course not. The only thing that gets you passed is developing the knowledge to successfully complete it WITHOUT DYING. :-)

I have worked with a talented clairvoyant understanding past lives, soul purpose, soul family and reasons for my pre-incarnate distortions of this life. I spoke with her about my similar desire at times just to end it. She also re-iterated that it would be a waste and would not solve anything. What Ra would call an "unskilled decision". She also told me that the discord I, you and many of us feel is usually due to the fact that we are not on the path working towards what we came here to accomplish. Once we understand who we are and what we came here to do and we actually start doing it, resonance will build. Momentum will build. Direct manifestation will increase. Life will become easier. Not to mention that you start to then see the "bad" things in life as opportunities for polarization. Opportunities to choose who you want to be in every moment of life.

You've just opened your eyes and sat up, spiritually. Don't give up before you know what if feels like to stand up and run, or even fly! If I could give you some advice I would say read and meditate as much as you can. The more your understanding increases the more things will fall away. And always remember, we create our own reality. Change starts by shifting your thought pattern. Known that you are loved and accepted and you will attract this very thing to you. Know that you have more friends than you can handle and people will be drawn to you. It is all energy and vibration.

[Zachary]

Dear Brother, you are deeply cherished and Loved.

Many of us can relate. 


Once you do it, its done. There is no going back and its likely you will still be fully conscious. 

Put yourself in this perspective. Consider the consequences deeply. Suicide will only perpetuate your sadness and is very traumatizing for a soul. You will carry that experience with you forever. 

I agree that it is excellent advice to leave Turkey. Life may not be easy, but you have the Strength you need within you.

Love awaits you.

Know your time on Earth is limited. When its done, it will seem like a blink of an eye. 

Hang in there, you were given all you need to succeed in this life and I know you can do it Brother.

Don't hesitate to reach out, ask for help, vent. We are here for you.

:-/      

[earth_spirit]

-----