Social Interaction

[turtledude23]

Does anyone else have trouble with social interaction? Sometimes I feel like my friends don't really want me there and are hanging out with me out of a feeling of obligation but won't tell me what they really think of me.

[Raman]

Overall I cannot stand people in general, big groups, so I am not very social...However, in small groups (at my job, etc) it is easy getting along for me just using basic yellow energy somehow wisely. I can be funny as well (believe it or not)...I feel many times nauseated by this orange-yellow ray interactions and the always permeating money based relationships of one with others...

But it is so refreshing when green or blue interactions happen...

So yes, I have trouble...

[Unbound]

I actually believe this is largely a matter of personal anxiety, there is a lot of paranoia around nowadays. I experience the same thing all the time and really my doubts have always been laid to rest. Sometimes its US that needs to learn to be trusting and more open instead of projecting our anxiety on to those around us.

Although, I will agree that I have a dislike for money-based relationships and interactions, money always feels distasteful.

[3DMonkey]

more missing posts acknowleged

[Raman]

Obviously, Steve is not to blame since one cannot expect backing up a database several times a day, once a day appears to suffice considering that the webhosting company won't change servers out of the blue without notifying the clients....however the host could have backed up all data before the server was turned off...and not depend on the client?...

Honestly, this seems unheard of...very unprofessional to say the least.

[turtledude23]

Obviously, Steve is not to blame since one cannot expect backing up a database several times a day, once a day appears to suffice considering that the webhosting company won't change servers out of the blue without notifying the clients....however the host could have backed up all data before the server was turned off...and not depend on the client?...

Honestly, this seems unheard of...very unprofessional to say the least.

Yup, however admins do backups for other reasons, mainly: unexpected data loss and hacking. Once a day is more than enough for a forum like this though. Its funny because the larger a forum is, the longer it takes to backup, so it is likely to be backed up less, yet the larger forum would benefit more from more frequent backups. I do like how the original backup they used yesterday was from 4/20.

[unity100]

Obviously, Steve is not to blame since one cannot expect backing up a database several times a day, once a day appears to suffice considering that the webhosting company won't change servers out of the blue without notifying the clients....however the host could have backed up all data before the server was turned off...and not depend on the client?...

Honestly, this seems unheard of...very unprofessional to say the least.

beyond unprofessional.

[Raman]

These are some excuses to help the poor guy that (probably) stepped on bring4th.org server's power cord.....

http://zork.net/fortunes/bofh-excuses

[turtledude23]

These are some excuses to help the poor guy that (probably) stepped on bring4th.org server's power cord.....

http://zork.net/fortunes/bofh-excuses

lmao

I love how so many of us are computer nerds

[3DMonkey]

It makes me jealous

[transiten]

Hi

I have to do my homework of TLOO all over again...couldn't handle my mars square pluto halfsquare uranus, mercury opposite neptune today:

Here's what happened: New neighbours on the block have a pitbull that they let loose in the common garden. That is forbidden since there are kids playing, other dogs and also pple who are afraid of dogs.

I sometimes walk with my dog without a leash since he is 15 years old and cannot run but from now on i won't do that at all.
I asked the owner politely about the dog and he assured me that the dog would never approach my dog and gave me an enormous big smile that didn't leave me assured. Also the 10 year old daughter of a neighbour that has a dog came up and told me their dog is very afraid of the pitbull

Later i was going to sit in the sun with my old dog and the guy approached us while talking in the phone and the dog followed but they went into a playhut and i retreated behind a gate since my dog has been attacked by a pitbull while interfering while it attacked a smaller dog, that same pitbull some month later killed a dog and i met the little girl with the injured bleeding dog in her arms which later died and it even was in the newspaper the next day, so of course i have a prejudice against pitbulls.

I said to the girlfriend that it's not allowed to let the dogs loose and she told me to shut up and i just answered her the same and then the quarrel began. I told them i didn't set the rules and they told me i had not the right to tell pple what to do and i replied i have all the right in the world to tell them about the rules and they just came up with all kinds of irrational arguments acting extremely hostile and despiseful

And then this man who has been living there for 30 years and who always feed my dog with goodies and talks to everybody except for a spanish guy he had a serious fight with some years ago that also loves my dog told me to mind my own business and i replied that if one is not allowed to react when someone is doing something wrong we would also have dictatorship here in Sweden etc.

He and a girl i've been talking to a lot about her cat also complained that i had ruined their nice afternoon chat...except for the mother who nodded and apparently took my side even if not in a loud voice. Finally the pitbull guy with his friends left and my dogloving neighbour accused me for chasing them away :@

Later i saw the pitbullowner talking to my spanish neighbour with whom i have a good relationship since he had greyhounds back in Spain and is a doglover too and his wife and daughther were born on the same day aug 7 , and i thought, well maybe this will put a damper on the situation...

Anyway i know Carla has a passage in Living the Law of One where she discusses situations like this "Not wanting that landlord" or something like that. and how to handle conflicts from a "higher" perspective, don't remember the word jsut now, something with the chessboard and being a player.

The thing is these guys are also immigransts from some arabic country (suddenly started to speak english) which might complicate the issue.

Any thoughts on how i could have handeled this in a better way not stirring up the agression...i ended up being furious i can tell you, but i started out calm and polite...

Also there's another side to this, i'm living alone with my dog and sometimes feel i'm spending too much time with the man and the woman who feeds my dog, out of a feeling of loneliness, this made me realize i have things to do that i somehow avoid, now this situation also pointed in the direction of putting healthy boundaries for myself: Saturn halfsquare sun.

Short interpret. of mars square pluto: avoid violent pple, mars/uranus sudden incidents often with pple from other cultures (among other things)
Mercury opposite neptune: misunderstandings and or your message will not even be delivered....

transiten

[Lorna]

hi transiten
what a stressful afternoon you had and i'm sorry that the situation unfolded as it did

i wonder if gender played a part in this, you mentioned the guy was from an arabic country, so possibly a patriarchal cultural background? there are still sadly an awful lot of men who won't accept anything a woman tells them - i see this in my own family, a very recent situation where my mother tried to have a discussion with my uncle and it escalated into quite a volatile situation because fundamentally she's female and was trying to tell him something that he didn't want to hear, so he became aggressive, loud and belittled her

anyway, that's possibly off on a tangent

looking back an alternative approach may have been to have checked whether your other neighbours felt similarly and then jointly wrote them a letter, or expressed concern to the landlord and asked them to have a word?

or in the situation as it unfolded today once aggression started to simply take a step back physically and retreat

however, it sounds to me as though this situation has given you much to think about and therefore it is perhaps not a bad thing that it happened. people you thought would be supportive towards you turned out not to be, that is useful information to know, it really is, although i'm sure you feel some trauma and a sense of loss from that realisation.

you imply that you stirred up aggression - it doesn't sound to me as though that is what happened, instead it sounds as though the aggression was already very close to the surface and you were simply a catalyst to it bursting through.

be gentle with yourself transiten x

[transiten]

Thankyou Lorna!

Gosh is it wonderful to have a forum like this to turn to. Yes i think gender plays a part here, but the guys girlfriend was very aggressive also, but of course she defended her boyfriend. The man who's been living here for 30 years is dansih but i've noticed before he can't take advice from a woman, he is "nice" but you know i've been through a lot and i can sense the patriarchial smell from miles away, and i'm a strong but also oversensitive woman and i must finally step into my Plutonian strenght and not fall back on my oversocializing/fear of conflict/overidealizing Moon Neptune conjunction in Libra and Tsquare Venus/South Node in Libra where the Noth Node in Aries tells me to go my own way and not care too much about what pple might think or say.

Yes you're right about where the agression came from but on some level it also resides somewhere in my own psyche and i just wanted to try to lift this situation up to a higher level and see if i could have acted in some other way, i mean i didn't have to respond her "shut up" with "shut up yourself" and also in the debate i could have tried to respond in a calm way without rising my voice to the same level as theirs...

I will just withdraw for a while and also i'm going away for some time and then we'll see if the situation has settled. I met he spanish dogloving guy and i was right, the pitbullowner had told him about the incident and in his own naive way the spanyard tried to smooth things over by saying i could let my dog loose also and that the landlord doesn't "own" me as i told him i also was told a long time ago to have my dog in a leash , that made my day Venus also trines my Ascendant

Goodningt from Early Summer Gothenburg

[3DMonkey]

hi transiten
what a stressful afternoon you had and i'm sorry that the situation unfolded as it did

i wonder if gender played a part in this, you mentioned the guy was from an arabic country, so possibly a patriarchal cultural background? there are still sadly an awful lot of men who won't accept anything a woman tells them - i see this in my own family, a very recent situation where my mother tried to have a discussion with my uncle and it escalated into quite a volatile situation because fundamentally she's female and was trying to tell him something that he didn't want to hear, so he became aggressive, loud and belittled her

anyway, that's possibly off on a tangent

looking back an alternative approach may have been to have checked whether your other neighbours felt similarly and then jointly wrote them a letter, or expressed concern to the landlord and asked them to have a word?

or in the situation as it unfolded today once aggression started to simply take a step back physically and retreat

however, it sounds to me as though this situation has given you much to think about and therefore it is perhaps not a bad thing that it happened. people you thought would be supportive towards you turned out not to be, that is useful information to know, it really is, although i'm sure you feel some trauma and a sense of loss from that realisation.

you imply that you stirred up aggression - it doesn't sound to me as though that is what happened, instead it sounds as though the aggression was already very close to the surface and you were simply a catalyst to it bursting through.

be gentle with yourself transiten x

That is a terrific assessment.

....

I was thinking that you, Transiten, only said the words they knew they would hear. I would bet they walked outside thinking " Let somebody say something to me."

Lorna said it best. You know, its just catalyst and you should apply it without being hard on yourself.

(I am prejudiced against pit bulls too. I always hear "they're fine dogs if they are raised properly". It Texas that is a huge IF.)

[transiten]

ho ho...you know now i tried to just click on the "quote this post button" to see if i could select what 3DM said and have the nice white area around it with the headline 3DMonkey wrote but no no...well thanks anyway for your support 3DM! Would be interesting to hear Carlas view on this anyway, perhaps some of the wellinformed mods have an idea?

[norral]

Hi transiten
im with lorna and 3dm. lets make it very simple. there is a rule about not letting the dog of the leash . thats a fact. he violated the rule. it seems as though he should obey the rule. im glad u stuck up for yourself., also about pit bulls , there are attacks here in the nyc area all the time. people dont train them correctly or sometimes they just freak out that is a fact. i wouldnt want to be around where a pitbull is off the leash. their history is checkered to say the least. and im a dog lover but those are extremely powerful dog. there was just an attack here last week on a little boy by a pit bull. i wouldnt argue with these people but i would complain to the land lord. if they dont like it so be it. the guy seems to be blowing off peoples comcerns , which are absolutely valid. the problem is him not you. please also if u see that dog off the leash pick your dog up and leave i dont trust pit bulls , they should not be off the leash. and i would carry with me a spray bottle of vinegar or something u could squirt in the dogs eyes if u had to.

norral

[transiten]

Thanks norral for the advice!

Actually i met two cops last night and told them what happened and of course they took my part and told me to contact the landlord. I also told them i know what to do when two dogs are fighting; in Sweden the women gathering cattle in the mountain woods in the old times used a very high pitch sharp sound "kulning" that i'm good at. When my shorthaired collie and the pitbull were fighting (my dog intervened as the pitbull attacked a puppy) i screamed that sound as close to their ears as possible and the dogs just flew apart, no wonder considering their good hearing. A good advice also if someone tries to violate you.

All the same i would want someone to give the perspective of Carla in this situation from her book "Living the Law of One". She gives very precise examples of situations like this but in this situation i can't figure out just how, don't even know if it had made any difference. But since my anger also spreads in the unvisible realms and affects the consiusness field it would have been better to act more "Gandhi like" right?

[3DMonkey]

LOL. I'm curious about your sound making abilities

[Oceania]

fudge Gandhi's approach, i would totally break up a dog fight!

---

i can't believe that pit bull owner was such a douche! but poor pitbull. i hate that people are so against them when they're animals, and all animals are innocent. pitbulls too. if they're abused or trained to be bad it's not their fault. i wish people would remember that and direct their anger at the owners not the dog. if you see him being abusive to the dog i'd let somekinda pitbull protection organization know about it. are there such? there are people trying to save the pitbulls.

[Nyu]

I can understand the apprehension over the Pitbulls though. Not saying they are "all evil" BUT it is smart I think to remember that they are animals that are deliberately bred to be aggressive, and they have stronger jaws than most other dogs. Once they latch on it is extremely difficult to get them to let go (I would NOT get my face close enough to two fighting Pitbulls to scream in their ear), in fact it is almost impossible I believe until they give in and decide to let go. I'm not saying a dog like that should be put down automatically but I would never have them loose around children or other animals. Even ones who have been treated kindly their whole lives have the ability to get angry and snap and kill or disfigure your child. I personally believe they should not be treated the same as other dogs in a similar way that you would not treat a snake the same way you would treat a lizard. Maybe in an effort to compromise the landlord should enforce the rule that ALL dogs should be leashed/muzzled.. including your poor old dog even though you know your dog is harmless. It just makes it easier to level the playing field and stop the other people getting defensive. In regards to the other people though, I also believe in a way it was a good thing they didn't side with you. It showed who they are inside..

[transiten]

I can understand the apprehension over the Pitbulls though. Not saying they are "all evil" BUT it is smart I think to remember that they are animals that are deliberately bred to be aggressive, and they have stronger jaws than most other dogs. Once they latch on it is extremely difficult to get them to let go (I would NOT get my face close enough to two fighting Pitbulls to scream in their ear), in fact it is almost impossible I believe until they give in and decide to let go. I'm not saying a dog like that should be put down automatically but I would never have them loose around children or other animals. Even ones who have been treated kindly their whole lives have the ability to get angry and snap and kill or disfigure your child. I personally believe they should not be treated the same as other dogs in a similar way that you would not treat a snake the same way you would treat a lizard. Maybe in an effort to compromise the landlord should enforce the rule that ALL dogs should be leashed/muzzled.. including your poor old dog even though you know your dog is harmless. It just makes it easier to level the playing field and stop the other people getting defensive. In regards to the other people though, I also believe in a way it was a good thing they didn't side with you. It showed who they are inside..

Nyu!

According to Swedish law all dogs have to be leashed and i agree fully with what you say here. What actually hurt me the most is the man that i know for so long that didn't take my part, but he also finally showed who he is "inside" behind the "nice" surface he has shown so far.

[Nyu]

I actually had a WONDERFUL time being out in the city tonight!! I hate the city lol, but I went there after work to buy something and I was just "being" in the moment and I sat across from a woman on the tram who was of the light! I just saw it shining so brightly within her, it was amazing. She was just an ordinary woman of around 50, with an open book in front of her but she wasn't reading, she was staring out the window pondering something and I just saw this goodness and beauty in her face and I was overcome with a feeling of joy. Then I was thinking about her and thinking I wouldn't see another one, and I walked past this homeless man but he had the biggest brightest smile and was just radiating happiness! There was someone standing next to him and he was sitting on a fluffy white mattress/blanket looking thing that I'm guessing the person who was with him might have given him. Then I was so happy that I saw two people who were just shining, and I got on the train to come home and I saw two disabled people, and one was only about 5 years or so older than myself and I felt this overwhelming compassion, and I realised I think if we manage to live past October/December 2012 - whenever it is - that I think the best way I can be of service is to become a carer. I used to work for a quadriplegic woman before my current job (in her business, not as a carer), so I am not a stranger to people with disability, but it wasn't until tonight that I realised there is such a need there for not only physical assistance but also the emotional/spiritual assistance of pure love.

[transiten]

I actually had a WONDERFUL time being out in the city tonight!! I hate the city lol, but I went there after work to buy something and I was just "being" in the moment and I sat across from a woman on the tram who was of the light! I just saw it shining so brightly within her, it was amazing. She was just an ordinary woman of around 50, with an open book in front of her but she wasn't reading, she was staring out the window pondering something and I just saw this goodness and beauty in her face and I was overcome with a feeling of joy. Then I was thinking about her and thinking I wouldn't see another one, and I walked past this homeless man but he had the biggest brightest smile and was just radiating happiness! There was someone standing next to him and he was sitting on a fluffy white mattress/blanket looking thing that I'm guessing the person who was with him might have given him. Then I was so happy that I saw two people who were just shining, and I got on the train to come home and I saw two disabled people, and one was only about 5 years or so older than myself and I felt this overwhelming compassion, and I realised I think if we manage to live past October/December 2012 - whenever it is - that I think the best way I can be of service is to become a carer. I used to work for a quadriplegic woman before my current job (in her business, not as a carer), so I am not a stranger to people with disability, but it wasn't until tonight that I realised there is such a need there for not only physical assistance but also the emotional/spiritual assistance of pure love.

Wonderful experience! I just talked to a woman that works in a hospice, and in a way i'm doing that too, only it's my dog who i probably soon have to put to rest. Some pple are very provoked that i haven't done that yet but they don't know anything about how prepared i am. I have talked to 3 different vets and even dug a grave for him and i feel assured that when the time is right he will show me.

Just now there were two animalprotection controllers here, a neighbour, i don't know who but i have an idea, had reported me. When the 2 women left they were assured i handled this in the best way possible but i can assure you i'm struggling with what the universe is trying to tell me by all these incidents with the "pitbull" that actually is an amstaff.

[Oceania]

i know they can be dangerous, it's abusive to teach them to be aggressive and i think there are people who do that on purpose. but it's not the animals fault and we should always look out for their interests even though we need to protect our animals from them and be careful around them.

---

and dogs should be on leashes!

[Nyu]

WOW transiten!! I cannot believe they called the animal controllers on you. The true nature of their spirit is coming out, that argument about the Pitbull was just the catalyst to give them a reason I believe.

I guess I had a similar experience, but with my son and his school. For some reason the principal HATES me! Even though I've never done anything but be nice and try to be helpful to her. My son gets bullied at school by the other kids for being "different", but of course they don't get in trouble for it, but my son gets in trouble for retaliating. The principal then made up a story that I apparently "hit him very frequently" and reported me to the child protective services. Of course the CPS talked to me for 5 minutes and then told me they knew the claim was unfounded, but they just needed to check. I was so upset that anyone could ever do such a thing, but I think it just shows the nature of negatively poled people when they come up against someone who is positively poled. I wonder if they even realise truly what they are doing? This principal could have destroyed our lives if she wanted to - those people acting against you and your dog remind me of her in a way. They probably "think" they are doing the right thing.

[transiten]

Well Nyu this is a much much longer story that i don't have the energy to write down just now and sheesh, a principal acting like that It's a fact that often the perpetrators are protected and the victim gets the blame. Same with "Justice" the focus is on the wrongdoer and the victims are left alone without support. Anyway, those who reported me are not the amstaff owners.

Actually pple told me this dog is not especially aggressive, on the contrary he is very used to be around pple, but it's another thing with other dogs, and actually a dog like mine that is old and has an injury can be agressive too if the other dog runs up to him, and how would i know? There's a law in Sweden that dogs shall be on a leash and esp. in a yard where pple live and children play. Dogs often get insecure around small children, no wonder since they have irregular movements and can be quite brutal. But the owner was aggressive all the same...

The thing is i'm very well prepared for putting my dog to rest and have contacted vets just the other day both in Gothenburg and at my fathers place. Why don't pple ask instead of doing a thing like this? Well they don't have any influence over their own lives probably and then have to control the lives of others. Sounds familiar? Ever heard of TLOO

I'm already in a state of grief so i wonder if this is a negative greeting or catalyst. Feels like i'm being "tested" somehow....

[Oceania]

*hugs*

[transiten]

*hugs*

[Nyu]

I'm sure your doggie had a wonderful life, and might become human next life! It's sad letting go but I'm sure he/she loves you very much. Xoxo

[transiten]

I'm sure your doggie had a wonderful life, and might become human next life! It's sad letting go but I'm sure he/she loves you very much. Xoxo

Thankyou Nyu and All of you for the emotional support, i surely need that. I also think his departure to dogheaven is helping me open my heart when i talk to my friends and challenge me to stay positive in the face of adversity.