Alone

[Conifer16]

Have you ever felt crushingly alone. Like you are desperate to connect emotionally with someone else but there is no one there for you, no friends(at all). I feel like that and what makes it worse is that I know that there is a spirit with me( since my birth) but I can't feel her anymore. it is like I have closed down with growing up and it is so sad. Azreal could see her and when chatting with him I could suddenly feel her and see her but afterwords I started to close up again. I don't know why. Maybe I like sad things so much because that is what I feel underneath all the time and so connect with saddness. I get the feeling that I have returned from 4th density to help but seeing as I have the veil I have forgotten and now only know that I miss something so wonderful. I really want to make friends with a group of teens at the GED program but I haven't been able to make myself interact(I know I am holding myself back) I think I am afriad that I will be rejected and they won't want to be friends. Basically I feel very lonely and the irony is that I am surrounded by a loving universe and I have just forgotten. I couldn't keep this stuff bottled up anymore so I am posting it in the only place I have that I feel safe expressing myself.
-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[loveyoutoo]

I know how you feel. A few years back I had that feeling constantly of being alone, regardless of whether or not I was around people. Fortunately I just forced myself to branch out into new areas in college like clubs, groups, or any other group I could. It didn't improve instantaneously, but with practice comes improvements. I've noticed that there so many interesting people that go unnoticed because of that fear of rejection, but keep in mind that it's not like if you strike up a conversation with someone they will say "Are you trying to become my friend? How lame." I'd bet that if you just take that plunge, you would gain more confidence. The first step to realizing a problem is realizing you have one. Since you seem to know the problem, you've already begun to improve. Have hope and just take those risks, cause chances are they are not risky at all. Know that you are never alone in what you feel, no matter what.

Best of luck, wishes and prayers.

[3DMonkey]

Conifer16, you were expressing the exact opposite going into this. You feel you've let yourself down. I read your positive words before, and worried you'd end up here. It's okay to feel this way as much as it was okay to be overly optimistic. This is simply the down curve of being up so high before.

You have your self. It is a capable self. Take a moment to laugh at yourself. 'What have I been doing?'. I don't have anything to say to make you feel better. Ride it out like bad fever.

[Conifer16]

I just have to say this, no matter how sad I get or how down things become I can't cry, tears will not physically come. It isn't because I am bottling it up or something it's just I can't get truly sad. Even now feeling so terrible and alone I can't bring myself to cry. I guess that somewhere I still feel supremely happy and full of joy. Maybe the spirit is cheering me up on an unconsious(literally on a level I am not conscious of right now) level. Anyway I have decided to learn from today and try and make headway into being friends with this group tommarow.

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And thank you for the replies, they are appreciated.

-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[kycahi]

Thanks for asking, Conifer. You know that you aren't really alone, just feeling that way for now. Wandering can be a sad business, we all know that. According to Ra, it pays off big time all around though. I agree that some big part of you has no need to cry, and you got that message.

If you want to assist with the GED program, just approach it that way, rather than try to make the ideal first impression. "How can I help?" "What are some weak areas for you?" "Did you form study groups?" etc. This already is interacting, even if you don't connect well. That means it's worth attempting. If you fail miserably, just smile and say, "Well I tried to help, so give me points for that. I'll look for some other way to make the world better."

Your goal is to get out there and try things.

[3DMonkey]

There are movies that can help push you over the tear threshold.

"In America" is a favorite.
"Life as a House"
"The Family Stone"

[zack231]

I know how you feel, this world can get you down sometimes. But once you realise just how beautiful and infinite you truly are, the world around you becomes a much happier place. For you know that all is well. Never forget that you are one, this is the ultimate truth. When I feel down, I always watch something inspirational or spiritual to make me feel better. Understand that you have already lifted the veil if you have stumbled upon the Law of One, either through the written words or by self enlightenment, you have broken free of the shackles of 3rd density. Never forget that you are loved and that you are love it self. You have come here for a reason and that is why you are different to most other people, you have nothing to be afraid of, in a Universe in unending unity, for why should you be afraid of yourself? These people that you feel uncomfortable around are yourself. Never be afraid of your self. That is how I approach awkward or uncomfortable situations. It works very well.

Any way you will get through it this is just another test in your life, embrace it. It will not last for ever. You create you own reality. You can change it any time. It is only a choice.

Ha anyway that is my message to you!

Never forget who you really are, these videos really empowered me and helped me to visualise the oneness of all. It is amazing how far science has come.Science is finally meeting spirtuallity, after all they are both one. This interview is amazing and explains perfectly, how science is now discovering that we are indeed one, Conciousness. I have been stumbling upon such great videos over the last few days, that are very empowering and have helped me even more on my path. These two video interviews are truly amazing, ever since watching them, I can finally feel and see how we are all one. Peace!

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This one is also great

[Oceania]

*hugs* i've had those same thoughts Conifer. about fear of rejection and that feeling about having a part of me somewhere happy while i feel like crap! hehe. it's weird.

good luck with your new friends, i hope they're worthy of your company. if they're not then they will behave as you fear. don't put that on you. if you ever get rejected, it's simply because the other person doesn't recognize you as the wonderful person you are, or isn't compatible with you. or not the right time for you to be friends. but that doesn't mean there's something wrong. one thing i know is what it's like to carry a rejection around and let that cripple you. i was rejected and it hurt, and it affected my future friendships. it made me reserved and incapable of saying anything positive to my friends in fear that they'd think i was clingy and dump me. i used to be a good friend to people, i was generous and loving and honest about my feelings. being rejected crushed that out of me and i blamed all those traits for having been rejected. truth is maybe the right sort of people would have loved those things about me specifically. but i didn't let them out anymore and i changed. so don't let that happen to you. if you get rejected it's universe's way of saying, these people are exiting your life but there are other ones on the way. when incompatible friends go, better ones come.

[Conifer16]

Well they aren't friends yet.(I haven't really talked at all to them and I can safely assume that they think I'm just the quite science loving guy, I've even been given the nickname proton by one of the kids because I was talking about protons last week) I'm working on it, Today I am going to try and use what I learned yesterday to make friends. Let's hope I can make a good impression
-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[kycahi]

That's a cool nickname.

Try: "So if I talk about studs next time, what will you call me?"

[Ruth]

Conifer16

You are not alone. You have us! LOL - on, we're only "virtual" but we love you! You'll be fine!

Light and love and friendship!

[3DMonkey]

That's a cool nickname.

Try: "So if I talk about studs next time, what will you call me?"

Old horse?

[godwide_void]

Conifer, take a moment to ponder the notion that our perspectives shape and color the reality we live in. Rather than dwell on the negative aspects of the situation you find yourself in, attempt to flip it completely. Instead of feeling "lonely", attempt to view it as "solitude". Try and make the absolute best of this feeling. Perhaps you need some time alone to work on yourself, contemplate, focus on the things you enjoy doing. Don't forget that this suffering is ephemeral, and often times is a stepping stone to true joy. Also, do not forget your true nature. Remember: the moment contains love. Though it may not be obvious, there is always some semblance of love to be gathered from each experience.

For instance: From your feeling of sadness, which caused you to express it here on this forum, you're being shown a lesson by the Universe that there is no need for you to feel lonely. If you were truly alone then this thread would have not gotten the responses it got. You are cared for, even if the extent of our communication are words on a screen, rest assured that you have plenty of friends here.

As for your fear of rejection by your peers in this GED program (which I wish you the best of luck with!), relinquish that fear. Sulking in anxiety and depression will not get you anywhere. Before you can make a joyful connection with others, you must first cultivate the joy within yourself first. Radiate! I'm sure you'll get along fine with others. Hell, you and I have never had a direct correspondence on this forum before, yet here I am trying to transmit peaceful energy to you.

You're a good person. I'm sure others will take notice of this when you approach them.

Peace be with you.

[Conifer16]

I have spoken with several members of this group and we get along just fine, it's just after the interaction is done It is like I dissapear and no longer exist. Like after they talked to each other for the first time they would ask what each others Facebook was and then friend each other and then they start chatting when they meet up every day. But with me they talk to me and then Nothing. It almost is like I just don't register as a possible friend. The only thing I can think is that the universe is trying to get me to put myself forward and interact on my own rather then let them come to me. And I know this is the best thing for me as I have been so secluded and almost anti-social(not on purpose but it looked like that) it is so hard. but I am working on it and getting a little better, though very slowly.(actualy now that I think about it the last time I was slowly improving on something there was a sudden massive improvement and I leapt light years ahead of where I was so maybe that will happen here. -Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[Namaste]

You're never alone dear brother. The only thing that keeps you from feeling connected is fear. Fear is the trap that allows the feeling of isolation.

Three practices which are great to help you uplift:

1) Take a walk in nature, appreciate it's unlimited variety and beauty. See how consciousness manifests in countless forms through the portal which is DNA. The infinite dance of life.

2) Be thankful for everything you have. Your eyes, arms, ears, mind, hands, feet, home, family etc. There is so much to be grateful about, but it's missed when one is worrying only about what they do not have. Again, fear is the only cause of that. Go into your heart centre and be thankful for all of the blessings you have.

3) Watch some inspirational and/or happy films and video's. That could be an animated film, or a talk about 2012 and the potential one has to change their consciousness and help others.

I get much inspiration from our 4th density friend, moving to 5th as we move to fourth.

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I have spoken with several members of this group and we get along just fine, it's just after the interaction is done It is like I dissapear and no longer exist. Like after they talked to each other for the first time they would ask what each others Facebook was and then friend each other and then they start chatting when they meet up every day. But with me they talk to me and then Nothing. It almost is like I just don't register as a possible friend. The only thing I can think is that the universe is trying to get me to put myself forward and interact on my own rather then let them come to me. And I know this is the best thing for me as I have been so secluded and almost anti-social(not on purpose but it looked like that) it is so hard. but I am working on it and getting a little better, though very slowly.(actualy now that I think about it the last time I was slowly improving on something there was a sudden massive improvement and I leapt light years ahead of where I was so maybe that will happen here. -Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

It takes a considerable amount of courage to do so, well done! :¬)

This little gem has been very empowering for me too:

"Would you rather find a group in which you have to act, and hide yourself in, or find a group in which you can be yourself, and be loved for it?"

[Oceania]

Conifer they may read your low self esteem as you being guarded. i had this very same problem. i was afraid noone would want to be my friend so i acted in a way. and that made them probably think i didn't want friends. because most people put themselves out there. if you don't say hey wanna be fb pals? they might take it as YOU don't want to be fb pals. are you afraid of making them feel like they have to be your fb friends if you ask? or are you afraid they would say no. i'd be more afraid of them lying and being polite if they don't want to. usually why i don't iniate stuff. to make sure people want to be friends. but that's my own thingy. what is it that makes you not offer yourself to them as a friend?

[Meerie]

Just because you feel lonely now does not mean it will always be like that. I remember, back in highschool I was quite isolated for some time as well. Then later with new people around, I found friends to relate to.
Nowadays I am glad that I do not need others around me constantly. I am content to be by myself.
Maybe you can use the aloneness you are feeling right now to get to know yourself better. Trust me, it is a blessing to be able to be by yourself.

[Conifer16]

I don't know how. To me asking "do you want to be friends" sounds funny and wierd. And I don't know what kind of group it is yet. So I just don't know how to make friends, like you probably know by now I was self-isolated for the last two years out of fear of the public and it was instigated by a year living in the middle of nowhere with no contact with other kids. So three years of isolation is t very helpful to knowing how to make friends, I mean the last time I made a friend we just became friends hanging out at school and then one day he asked if I wanted to come over to his house and hangout(yes even that young he used that word) so I have not much of an idea as to what would work. Obviously people notice me as I've become known for being smart and into science and arriving really early to class. And for some reason more friendly banter has been exchanged with another girl and this farm guy(not stereotyping) then the group of kids I want to be friends with. I am at a loss for what to do. -Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[Namaste]

Just because you feel lonely now does not mean it will always be like that. I remember, back in highschool I was quite isolated for some time as well. Then later with new people around, I found friends to relate to.
Nowadays I am glad that I do not need others around me constantly. I am content to be by myself.
Maybe you can use the aloneness you are feeling right now to get to know yourself better. Trust me, it is a blessing to be able to be by yourself.

I think this is exceedingly useful advice.

I also had a spell at school where I was isolated, but it taught me some very valuable lessons. The core of which were firstly service to others (I would never treat someone in a way I would not wished to be treated myself), and secondly, independence. As Meerie put it, I got to know myself :¬)

[Crown]

Life is all about ups and downs... I can totally relate to the feeling of being alone but you should never give up. Let the downhill trip take you all the way down to the depth of the pit just so you can rise again and start a new uphill towards a new changing experience.

Stay happy on the inside so your spirit guides and inner child wont get sad about you... Times are hard, but the change is always at our doorstep. Try starting new things maybe?

If you are still 16, try not to worry at all. Seriously, the fear of rejection is keeping you away from hapiness. This is one of the most basic things that any new age material talks about and i am 100% sure that you know all about it. Conquer your fears as hard as it may seem. And move on, to a better and ever-changing ongoing experience.

I know its hard to overcome fears... I am 21 and i still havent beaten some of the fears that i have been carrying since i was 3-5 years old... But i never lose hope! I never give up! Thats what i like to think atleast.


So, cheer up. Change. Live. Go up. Go down... Keep on moving.

[Oceania]

i didn't mean ask to be friends, more like hey do you have facebook? or wanna get coffee after this? or some friendly gesture like that that says you like the other person. if you feel moved to do so. if there's someone you hit it off with. you said everyone else was joining facebooks and you felt left out. but maybe it's best to give it sometime and see what comes.

[ƒ❤losopher]

I don't know how. To me asking "do you want to be friends" sounds funny and wierd. And I don't know what kind of group it is yet. So I just don't know how to make friends,
[...]
I mean the last time I made a friend we just became friends hanging out at school and then one day he asked if I wanted to come over to his house and hangout(yes even that young he used that word)
[...]
And for some reason more friendly banter has been exchanged with another girl and this farm guy...

I am at a loss for what to do. -Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

Look, you are giving yourself the answers.

Just hang out some more. Surely there are more people there than these group and the two?

I don't know about you, but when I see someone who's really vibing similarly to myself I recognize it immediately; without having ever spoken to the one. In that case becoming friends should be easy.
Admittedly, that occurs not often.

If the vibes are only partially congruent it usually takes a little longer to come to an alignment and you will soon see what kind of relationship seems possible. A Guy you'll play freestyle disk golf with doesn't necessarily become your best friend. But he may have a friend who could. Or a yummy sister .

Have patience, Conifer.