Past Lives

[Ankh]

There were 12 of us. We were in a temple of some sort. Outside, there was chaos, but we were calm. We knew the wave was about to hit, but we were very awake and didn't fear bodily death.

We were all focused on a large, clear quartz crystal, about 3 feet tall, held suspended in the air by the power of our minds. We were programming it with advanced knowledge.

We knew that some of us might not wake up. But if enough do, we can recover the crystal. It doesn't have to be physically. We can access it. It's locked right now. Several of those priests, together, will have the key.

Monica, it is really intriguing story that you are telling here! May I ask more? I would love to know why accessing this crystal is important?

[Monica]

Monica, it is really intriguing story that you are telling here! May I ask more? I would love to know why accessing this crystal is important?

It contains important information, that will be revealed when the population is ready for it. It was supposed to happen 25 years ago, but didn't. We are nearing the time when the people are ready for it. Hopefully it's not too late to still do some good.

---

Patricia Cori claims much the same memory. You might contact her about it.

Thank you! I will!

[Steppingfeet]

2) She told me that I had been generals or commanders of armies in past lives. And that I was a great in this because I led with compassion.

This too seemed odd because the purpose of the military is so antithetical to who I now know myself to be, and I did not enjoy my stint in the Army Reserves in this lifetime.

Maybe I misunderstood you, but I interpret it as that you think it is odd that she told you that you have been generals or commanders of armies? But didn't she mean this:

I have an intense resonance with everything about the American Revolution, to the extent that the clothing and costumes of the era seem appealing to me. I feel certain that I somehow participated in the revolution. I used to think of being Thomas Jefferson, but that's akin to being Cleopatra. :-)

You say that you feel certain that you somehow participated in the revolution. Maybe by leading the armies?

While I am endlessly fascinated with the entire narrative of the American Revolution, battles included, what really draws me is the foundational ideals that were driving the American forces.

Of course it was a mixed bag, with STS energies and intentions on both sides of the conflict, but in that mix were ideals, however imperfectly realized and applied, regarding the equality of all peoples, their right to self-governance and freedom, etc. And so much of that particular conflict of ideas regarding the nature of things was fought with the pen. : )

[Conifer16]

I had so much typed out then it crashed on me :-(:-(:-(

Summery

The dagger was 14 or so inches long and didn't go into my chest all the way because it hurt to much when first entering. It was still enough to kill though. So when the dagger was resting on my chest it felt cold and my skin tingled I then shoved down and it pierced between my ribs. As I shoved I felt like you feel when trying to jump a gap up high and not being able to the first few tries. But it was too late. The pain was very intense :-( it was a hot hot pain and I could feel the coldest ice in my chest(probably the dagger) ice and fire spread out from there my breath grew short(in this life as well as I recount this, my heart is pounding and it is a little hard to breath) and my knees got very weak and couldn't hold me. So I lowered down then tiled forward and because of where I was I fell off some high structure. I know it was a building but not what specifically. I'm blonde and am a women of privilege. It's many many hundreds of years ago. Or at least I know it isn't after or during the dark ages. Or if it is I don't know of the dark ages going on in Europe. I get that this was one of the lives that has created the very strong aversion to suicide in this live. I feel like I would never even contemplate it now. I don't think I was happy with myself for doing this when I left my body. Lol I'm not getting anything else right now. Wait! It was autumn I think. The trees have yellow and red leaves. So that's fall right? And it was sunset so the leaves look even more stunning as the sunlight hits them. I don't know what this life has to do with this current one. Other then the aversion to suicide.

-Conifer17- Adonai Vasu Borragus

---

I guess I just started it over again. Not even a summery lol :-)

---

I'm wearing green. A dress.

[Monica]

I used to think of being Thomas Jefferson

Sorry, but he's taken. Everybody knows Ron Paul was Thomas Jefferson!

I don't think anyone has claimed Ben Franklin yet, though.

but that's akin to being Cleopatra. :-)

When I was about 20, I was partying with some friends and we were talking about reincarnation. I suddenly got the bright and novel idea that I had been Cleopatra!

Much to my dismay, all the other girls thought the same thing. We realized, with much disappointment, that we couldn't all have been Cleopatra!

What's with Cleopatra anyway? Like the most famous past life ever.

Hey speaking of past lives, what does everyone think about the idea that the facial structure stays basically the same from one lifetime to the next? Isn't that rather...convenient? Most of the pictures I've seen were quite a stretch. Do you think there's something to it? If so, then discovering our past lives would be a lot easier: Just find someone in history you look like.

I did that with Anne Boleyn, 25 years ago when I had my experience at Westminster Abbey. There were other queens buried there too but for some reason Anne Boleyn just really stuck with me. Well it turns out I actually do look quite a bit like the pictures of her! (Depends on which portrait though - they are so different they look like different women!)

It's hard to tell, though, since the paintings of women of that era all looked rather similar.

[Ankh]

Monica, I've been thinking about what you said here...

Here is the key for me: This particular memory surfaced when I was searching for answers regarding a person in my life. It hit me very hard, and was very emotionally intense. But the whole point of it was forgiveness and healing. By confronting what had happened before, I was able to forgive that person and break the cycle.

...and other, similar, statements, but I quote only the above, in order to make this post shorter.

Firstly, I want to say that I enjoyed reading about by your seemingly undoubtful and easy embrace of your memories in regards to different situations in your current life, how you were seeking for the answers through conscious meditation, and when receiving these memories accepted them so seemingly easy as such. I have difficulties with that, and yet all my memories come by themselves. I do not ask for them. Only those that kind of "have always been there" and come with some kind of knowingness, I accept as "unmistakenbly", because when I doubt memories which are "unmistakenbly", it feels like swearing in the church, or that I step on something sacred, therefore I do not do that in those cases which I term as "unmistakable". So I really did enjoy your view in this.

What I want to add to the above quote, and the similar ones in your posts, is just another aspect, which comes from my personal understanding and reflecting on this topic.

The memories that come up on the surface of the self, when trying to see/understand a particular difficulty involving another self, does not necessarily have to be "true" as in the sense that it has really happened. They can simply represent a vivid image involving strong emotions, which involves lessons you (general "you", not you personally) are trying to learn. I came to this understanding when reviewing my current life. I have this person in my life, who has hurted me in many ways, for many years, and on both physical and mental level. Why choose something like that for the self? The answer which resonates with me, is that perhaps I wasn't Jesus in my previous lives. I could not understand, forgive and send love/light to people who have hurted me in previous incarnations, and/or understand/forgive/send love/light to the situation itself. So what happened is that the experiences that I've been through closed my heart. Now, when we die, if being of senior vibration, we may forgive and understand everything, but we may still think that we may need further experience/s, in order to find profound understanding and love for all the aspects of the Creation/Creator, especially those of traumatic experiences/incarnations. You were into this topic yourself a little bit, when mentioning war in your post to Gary. So it perhaps not only another self that you need to understand, but also the situation itself. And so we plan our incarnation very carefully, giving ourselves gifts and abilities to aid that understanding, but at the same time putting ourselves through a very traumatic experience, again.

What I mean is that, it perhaps may have passed many, many years, like thousand/s, between the incarnation that we experienced that did not bring profound understanding, and finally finding of the right conditions and right circumstances to learn that particular lesson. And what I mean further, is that when we are so carefully planning that, we perhaps don't have the same entities around us anymore, or as they were back then. Maybe these entities that hurted you last time, evolved, or in some other way moved forward, and do not wish to hurt other selves anymore. *But* you still have a need for learning a particular lesson. So what I am trying to say in this very wordy way, is that sometimes memories may not be "real", meaning that it didn't happen in the way that you think it did, but perhaps involved other people etc, but it is presented in that way of your unconscious/deeper/veiled mind, or Higher Self, in order to learn the lesson itself.

Another thing that I am trying to add, is that, sometimes, it is the experience itself that needs to be accepted too, as a valid part of the Creation/Creator, forgiven and understood, exactly as it is done in the cases with other selves. That one is attempting to see the acceptance/forgiveness of *all* experiences, as being a valid part of the Creation/Creator.

With that said, I also like Azrael's understanding of it. To embrace everything as it comes into your mind, and not put so much importance on what has been "real" or not.

[Monica]

Only those that kind of "have always been there" and come with some kind of knowingness, I accept as "unmistakenbly", because when I doubt memories which are "unmistakenbly", it feels like swearing in the church, or that I step on something sacred, therefore I do not do that in those cases which I term as "unmistakable".

Were you brought up in a religion, with rules about never questioning? If so, might I suggest that you examine that?

It's trendy in New Age circle to:

1. Never feel guilty
2. Never doubt

I disagree with both. Remorse resulting from self-reflection is healthy, because it teaches us about our past mistakes, so we can learn from them. It's only when we hang on to the guilt after we have learned our lessons, and cannot forgive ourselves, that it becomes unhealthy. But to deny the opportunity for feeling guilt is to deny a natural function of the conscience.

Likewise, doubt too is very misunderstood. There is nothing wrong with feeling doubt. You don't have to worry about an angry God striking you down, as the Bible said he would. We aren't expected to blindly believe any so-called 'authority' and that includes our very own self and our own guidance.

In light of what we know about negative entities trying to influence us, I'd say doubt has a healthy function. If we blindly believe everything that pops into our minds, then we are making ourselves susceptible to negative influence and distortion!

Thus, it's healthy to honor and respect the feelings of doubt when they arise, and actually take the time to explore those feelings, rather than suppressing them as though they were 'bad' or 'wrong'.

Your feelings of doubt aren't wrong. They might even be your Higher Self's way of alerting you to some distorted information. It would behoove us to pay attention to feelings of doubt, because they lead to discernment. Discernment is important.

So I really did enjoy your view in this.

Glad to hear that!

The memories that come up on the surface of the self, when trying to see/understand a particular difficulty involving another self, does not necessarily have to be "true" as in the sense that it has really happened. They can simply represent a vivid image involving strong emotions, which involves lessons you (general "you", not you personally) are trying to learn. I came to this understanding when reviewing my current life. I have this person in my life, who has hurted me in many ways, for many years, and on both physical and mental level. Why choose something like that for the self? The answer which resonates with me, is that perhaps I wasn't Jesus in my previous lives. I could not understand, forgive and send love/light to people who have hurted me in previous incarnations, and/or understand/forgive/send love/light to the situation itself. So what happened is that the experiences that I've been through closed my heart. Now, when we die, if being of senior vibration, we may forgive and understand everything, but we may still think that we may need further experience/s, in order to find profound understanding and love for all the aspects of the Creation/Creator, especially those of traumatic experiences/incarnations. You were into this topic yourself a little bit, when mentioning war in your post to Gary. So it perhaps not only another self that you need to understand, but also the situation itself. And so we plan our incarnation very carefully, giving ourselves gifts and abilities to aid that understanding, but at the same time putting ourselves through a very traumatic experience, again.

I also get 'dreamvisions' which are entirely symbolic in nature. They sometimes are past life memories, but usually they're not literal, but symbolic. I can get dreamvisions for other people just by hearing their voice. Sometimes my dreamvisions have been very accurate, in showing a snapshot of something that happened to another person, either in this life or in a past life. It doesn't really matter which. It also doesn't matter whether the event literally happened or not; what matters is the archetypal energies depicted in the vision, which are symbolic to the person.

So in the case of my dreamvisions, I agree with you that they might not be literally true, but the message/lesson is what's important.

However, my past life memories are different from dreamvisions. To say that a particular memory of a particular person didn't actually happen, would be akin to saying my memory of my best friend in high school didn't really happen. It happened. I remember. I remember my best friend and I recognize her.

It is the same with these memories. There is a distinct difference between a vision and a memory.

The effect it has on my consciousness is the same. They say that the brain doesn't know the difference between visualization and memory. But just try telling someone that their memory of their first kiss is just symbolic.

What I mean is that, it perhaps may have passed many, many years, like thousand/s, between the incarnation that we experienced that did not bring profound understanding, and finally finding of the right conditions and right circumstances to learn that particular lesson. And what I mean further, is that when we are so carefully planning that, we perhaps don't have the same entities around us anymore, or as they were back then.

Linear time is irrelevant, in regards to past life memories. Why? Because the emotional charge and the karmic connection transcend linear time.

Example: My memory of being in a dungeon was very vivid and held a strong emotional charge, because it was so traumatic. I died down there in agony. But it wasn't necessarily my most recent lifetime, in terms of linear time. I have had others in between. Yet, I remembered this one, because of the intensity of the experience. AND, because the characters in that particular drama were ready to resurface.

[oguz]

2-3 months ago i was told i had been a prophet.

(i know it sounds foolish however that what i' m told)

[Ankh]

Were you brought up in a religion, with rules about never questioning? If so, might I suggest that you examine that?

Part of my childhood was spent in a STS environment, where orders are to be followed, and never questioned. All my childhood was spent in atheism. Would you mind to give some hints about what to look for, when examining that?

Your feelings of doubt aren't wrong. They might even be your Higher Self's way of alerting you to some distorted information. It would behoove us to pay attention to feelings of doubt, because they lead to discernment. Discernment is important.

My belief is that most of our memories are distorted in some way or other. Not all of them though! I also believe that this doubt has its grounding in its original doubt, which is doubt of self. But as you, I believe that it serves a very good purpose, that of discernment.

I also get 'dreamvisions' which are entirely symbolic in nature. They sometimes are past life memories, but usually they're not literal, but symbolic. I can get dreamvisions for other people just by hearing their voice. Sometimes my dreamvisions have been very accurate, in showing a snapshot of something that happened to another person, either in this life or in a past life. It doesn't really matter which. It also doesn't matter whether the event literally happened or not; what matters is the archetypal energies depicted in the vision, which are symbolic to the person.

So in the case of my dreamvisions, I agree with you that they might not be literally true, but the message/lesson is what's important.

Thank you for sharing this. I totally agree with you that the message/lesson is what is of importance.

However, my past life memories are different from dreamvisions. To say that a particular memory of a particular person didn't actually happen, would be akin to saying my memory of my best friend in high school didn't really happen. It happened. I remember. I remember my best friend and I recognize her.

Well, here is where my logic comes in and hit the breaks. Who I am in this life, is not who I was in those other lives. I sense the same essence, and in some memories, I can even bring forth that personality, as it is a part of me. But I am not the same person. Which means that stuff that happened in this life was experienced by current personality, and physical body, remembering it on all these levels, while stuff that happened before that, can still be put in doubt, as *I* was not that same *I*, if that makes sense to you...

But I also understand exactly how you mean though, at the same time...

It is the same with these memories. There is a distinct difference between a vision and a memory.

Totally agree with you. This is a very clear distinction that I made in my presentation of this topic at Homecoming.

The effect it has on my consciousness is the same. They say that the brain doesn't know the difference between visualization and memory. But just try telling someone that their memory of their first kiss is just symbolic.

[Diana]

Linear time is irrelevant, in regards to past life memories. Why? Because the emotional charge and the karmic connection transcend linear time.

I think linear time has its place in our constructed reality, like a subreality that we use to perceive, so in that sense it is as "real" as anything else.

I agree that linear time is irrelevant in regards to past lives. We are multidimensional, and though we are perceiving our "selves" as linear, there is the other reality that they are all happening at the same time. Seth said that you may have a past life affecting this one, with what I think "he" called bleed-through. So if in another life you had a disease of the heart, you may have a weakness there now. In recognizing the connection, healing could take place in both this life, and the past life.

I extend this notion to the idea that, given that I am multidimensional, if I am needing help with something, I call on other parts of myself that may have expertise in the area, and bring forth that knowing from that part of myself who may have mastered it.

[Richard]

I'm jealous. I don't have any recollection at all of past lives. Or maybe I just don't recognize the stray thoughts as memories?? I don't know.

I feel extremely pulled to Italy for some reason and the sound of the Highland bagpipes stirs my blood like no other music. Even though, family-wise, I have no connection to either culture. But I have no sense of personality with regards to the people...I feel more pulled to the land. If that makes sense?

I've never attempted a regression.

Richard

[@ndy]

They say that the brain doesn't know the difference between visualization and memory. But just try telling someone that their memory of their first kiss is just symbolic.

I can't realte to that at all, my first kiss is way more vauge an meanless to me that many things that have happend outside my body.

I'd go so far as to say my first sexual encounter is in many ways less meaninfull than things I've experinced in altered states.

The Birth of my children were real, but they included an altered state of being.

[Steppingfeet]

Much to my dismay, all the other girls thought the same thing. We realized, with much disappointment, that we couldn't all have been Cleopatra!

I think it's the stereotypical past life. Much like the lifetime of Monica Leal will be for future third-density inhabitants.

Hey speaking of past lives, what does everyone think about the idea that the facial structure stays basically the same from one lifetime to the next?

I'll share my sole experience in this area.

I spent a weekend with a seeker known as DW in 2003. Lots of conversation, lots of looking into the eyes, lots of that person's eyes imprinting on the brain -- as would happen with anyone with whom you've spent some time.

At the conclusion of the weekend I returned home to resume the usual patterns of my life at the time. One evening later that week I was watching what I think was a History Channel program about the lost civilization of Atlantis.

They had a brief segment about Edgar Cayce, who many of you know channeled information about Atlantis in a small percentage of his sleep readings.

The program showed a b&w image of Cayce and BAM! Without time to think through a conscious series of thoughts, I *immediately* knew I recognized those eyes. I had just seen them during the previous weekend.

I might doubt the legitimacy of this experience if I had had a moment to say, "Hey, this is the supposed past life of this particular individual." And then attempt to mentally examine Cayce's face to see if I could identify any similarities.

But as the experience unfolded over the span of a fraction of a second, I knew that whatever part of my mind that makes such connections had made the connection of its own accord. The same basic process happens when you see another and think, "She looks like that actress from that one movie", or, "You look just like so and so."

And, to boot, the experience is repeatable. To this day I can view a picture of Cayce and see the same eyes looking out through Cayce's that I knew so well.

I didn't recognize distinct facial similarities, perhaps there were. For me it was limited to the eyes, probably the most telling and distinguishing windows into the soul, in terms of outer physical characteristics that is.

Love/Light, GLB

[Unbound]

I really would like to contribute to this thread, but I feel strangely overwhelmed by the subject...

[Steppingfeet]

I really would like to contribute to this thread, but I feel strangely overwhelmed by the subject...

Open 'er up! What's on Azrael's brain? You could start with Monica's first post of this thread and use her series of possibilities:

a.) Have unmistakable memories of that lifetime
b.) Were told this by a psychic
c.) Discovered this via hypnosis or unconscious regression
d.) Discovered this via conscious regression (remembered it yourself)
e.) Had sketchy memories which were filled in and confirmed by b or c
f.) None of the above, but just resonate with a character from history or have some intense emotion concerning that character

Or just riff on what it is that makes you feel strangely overwhelmed by the subject.

: ) GLB

[Unbound]

Well you see, I am in a state whereby all imaginations, all thoughts, all concepts I conceive of I view to be sourced within the parallel realities themselves, and that I am merely catching their reflectings as I invoke and evoke energies, both consciously and sub-consciously.

Another thing is that it is somewhat painful for me to delve in, and I sometimes get embarassed of the lives I have connected to, but I will do what I can.

For the sake of shorter explanation I will begin with my first 3D incarnation on Earth which took place in Lemuria, I had visited the Earth/Gaia in Hyperborean times but never entered 3D, I was in 4D. Interestingly, the Lemurian life is still blocked from my vision, but I know this is because I am at the point now where I am to begin opening up the secrets of the Civilization of the Language of Light, I will express more on this in the future. This was quite a long life.

My next incarnation was in Atlantis, two "mundane" lives, and then other simultaneous lives. It gets a little strange here, as I have memories from multiple personalities which were all interacting within an event. As I have discussed in another thread, twice I was brother to my teacher, who was my older sister in the first life, younger in the second. She is some 30 years older than me in this life, and we are not related. Anyways, so my other major "incarnation" if that's what it truly was, was as Enoch. I lead the team that was to settle in what was to become Egypt, I did so after ascending intentionally, and then guiding them through manifested mechanisms.

My next life was as the pharaoh Akhenaten, which many people already know much about. My ex-girlfriend in this life actually channeled multiple messages to me from Nefertiti, and I strangely have also met a woman's who higher self is Kia, Akhenaten's second wife. This life has been incredibly influential in this one, and is responible for my close guardianship from Bast, which I actually somewhat stem from, from the Sirius system. One aspect, anyways.

Let it be known that the "I" contains no intelligence, and is just a conduit for Intelligences.

I will also admit I have had many very powerful experiences as/connected to Jesus, including some energetic stigmata and crucifixion. However, this is quite a common connectivity because his Life-Stream is so accessible, due to is known presence in the Deep Mind.

Since I have limited historical knowledge, and don't have time to research at the moment I will list off remaining incarnations without certainty of order.

Miyomoto Musashi is a life I feel incredibly connected to, and indeed my life philosophies are incredibly similar, and I have always felt drawn to the way of the samurai/ronin and have practiced with a katana and swords for much of my life. I also have experienced memories as his rival, who's name I forget.

Vlad Tepes, the Impaler, was another life, I used to hear the screams of the victim, it was a pretty confusing experience, and it is a life I have done much, much work with in this life. I don't know what else to say on this one.

Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, a fairly well known occultist of the 16th(?) century. Sorry, time is difficult for me sometimes. (hehe some"times")

I had a very distinct memory as a child in the Nagasaki nuke blast, which I experienced during a healing session for myself. Simultaneously I experienced the immense guilt of Einstein after realizing what his work had created. A very strange occurence, since it came with a parallel as Enoch in Atlantis, and being unable to stop its destruction and the immense guilt.

Another, is the Count de St. Germain, whom is also well known, and I continue to work with the St. Germain intelligence in this current time working towards the organization towards a harmonious civilizational structure.

And of course, the one that most people may be unsure of, is Aleister Crowley. I have looked in the mirror and seen his face as my own, we were one mind across time, I have been helping to heal him, and helping to bring to light the deep secrets he has hidden within his works. More on this at a later time.

I also have an anonymous memory in mongolia, I was killed by locals due to practicing forbidden, incredibly deadly martial arts and using darkness as a source of power and energy.

Needless to say, this body is a vessel for many things, but the I am that I am is still its own, and I am my own soul, which sees all of these things as portions of the mind-body, just as one might view an arm or a leg as an extension of their torso. Perhaps I will be able to express more later, loving blessings to you all, mazel tov, adonai.

---

Oh, I also forgot to mention Solomon the Patriarch, which is interesting since my family name in this life on my Dad's side is Talmon, and the Talmon family were the gatekeepers of the second temple of Solomon.

BUT REALLY!

Who knows?

---

"Past/parallel" lives, are, to me, how shall I say, pure catalyst.

[Monica]

Part of my childhood was spent in a STS environment,

Sorry to hear that!

where orders are to be followed, and never questioned. All my childhood was spent in atheism. Would you mind to give some hints about what to look for, when examining that?

When children are taught to blindly follow orders from 'authority' figures, without ever questioning, that is STS programming, and it can leave a very deep imprint.

Children are told to respect their elders to the point of obeying them without question. This has gotten some children abducted because they didn't question the adult who told them to get in the car with them, for example.

In religious fundamentalism, obedience is valued above all else. A 'good' child is an obedient child...one who never questions or rebels. Rebellion is considered something to be squashed in teenagers. A Christian pastor once told me that rock music was 'satanic' because it was 'birthed in a spirit of rebellion.'

This type of thinking is designed to keep the kids locked into the religion when they become adults, blindly following the dictates of their religion. This makes them very easy to control. They are afraid to dabble in alternative forms of spirituality because they are warned that anything outside their narrow doctrine is 'satanic.'

This blind obedience can then become habit for those children, when they become adults, to continue their habit of obeying without questioning.

If they leave Christianity for some Eastern religion, they might be susceptible to joining a cult. I had a friend who got repeatedly raped by her 'guru' because she had been taught to submit to authority.

If they get into some sort of New Age spirituality, they can carry over the habit into their past life recall, psychic abilities, whatever. But, instead of blindly obeying their dad, teacher or pastor, they are now blindly obeying/believing some psychic, some vision, or some oracle such as Astrology, Tarot, or whatever.

They are looking for an authority.

Example: My husband and I attended a Rebirthing training in Florida. We swam with wild dolphins. One day we were scheduled to visit a dolphin research center, but it was closed. So we had the choice of going to some tourist attraction or going to the beach. My husband and I looked at each other and decided instantly we'd rather go to the beach.

Well, the others were all into muscle testing. Instead of deciding what they wanted to do, they were pulling on their fingers to get an answer about what they 'should' do! We were incredulous.

They had traded one authority for another!

Anything can become an authority. Even the belief that everything that comes through the person in a psychic vision can become an authority. Psychics often get trapped by this. They blindly accept whatever info they channel, and can be influenced by STS entities, because of their lack of discernment. Look at how many psychics/channels have predicted the aliens landing on a certain date!

I'm certainly not suggesting that we live in fear and doubt! My point is that too much certainty can be just as much of an imbalance as too much doubt.

When one becomes so certain that everything they're doing is 'right' they can become locked into a certain mode of thinking, and miss opportunities to expand that thinking or gain new insights. When they get very comfortable with a certain religion, philosophy, or system of divination, they can turn it into an authority, and lose their ability to discern.

I don't know if any of this applies to your childhood, since it was an atheist household. But it would seem that, whether rooted in atheism or religious fundamentalism, the pattern of expecting blind obedience is the same. The end result is that it may be challenging to learn proper discernment, since that ability was never encouraged.

I don't know anything about your background, so I am speaking only in generalities here.

My belief is that most of our memories are distorted in some way or other. Not all of them though! I also believe that this doubt has its grounding in its original doubt, which is doubt of self. But as you, I believe that it serves a very good purpose, that of discernment.

What do you mean by original doubt and doubt of self?

Thank you for sharing this. I totally agree with you that the message/lesson is what is of importance.

Yes, but at the same time, I also believe that many past life memories really are past life memories. We know that we've lived past lives. So if we remember them, there's no reason to doubt whether they're real or just symbolic. This is a case where I see no reason to doubt them.

I remembered being in a dungeon. The logical reason for this is simple: I really was in a dungeon. My memories of that lifetime are no different from my memories of my childhood in this lifetime.

Well, here is where my logic comes in and hit the breaks. Who I am in this life, is not who I was in those other lives. I sense the same essence, and in some memories, I can even bring forth that personality, as it is a part of me. But I am not the same person. Which means that stuff that happened in this life was experienced by current personality, and physical body, remembering it on all these levels, while stuff that happened before that, can still be put in doubt, as *I* was not that same *I*, if that makes sense to you...

It depends on how you define I.

Each personality is but a fragment of our whole self. It is the whole self who remembers the past lives. So when I remembered being in a dungeon, it was ME. Not someone else.

I still remember the agonized wailing...the despair. Those emotions were very raw. They haunted me my entire childhood. That was me who experienced that.

Being told by a psychic that I was a merchant in Venice, for example, evokes no such emotion. Since I have no emotional connection with that person, then it might as well be an other-self.

It is the memories I retrieve myself that are meaningful to me. It's like retrieving parts of myself that were lost, and reintegrating them back into the whole.

The memories aren't even what's important. The healing is what's important. Memories aren't likely to surface unless there is healing to be done.

Note: Post has been edited.

[norral]

this website talks about a women who was anne frank in a previous life. pretty fascinating. also check out his return of the revolutionaries. i caught him on coast to coast one night the most interesting discussion of reincarnation that i have heard.

http://www.iisis.net/index.php?page=semk...e&hl=en_US


norral

[Shemaya]

Well, here is where my logic comes in and hit the breaks. Who I am in this life, is not who I was in those other lives. I sense the same essence, and in some memories, I can even bring forth that personality, as it is a part of me. But I am not the same person. Which means that stuff that happened in this life was experienced by current personality, and physical body, remembering it on all these levels, while stuff that happened before that, can still be put in doubt, as *I* was not that same *I*, if that makes sense to you...

Hi Ankh,

I see what your are saying. I think it has to do with yourbody, and your identity with your body and your past physical bodies. Since they are finite and die and they are unique and special. Now your body is intimately connected with Gaia's body, but if you are a wanderer from another planet, you past body is connected to that planet. So on the planetary scale you may feel a sense of disconnection since you were part of a different planetary body.

So while here, your identity is tied in with Gaia, and your body is part of Gaia's body. But in the past your connection with Gaia was on a much vaster scale, not so intimately connected, and if you were/are not aware or experiencing the whole of creation, then maybe that is why you feel doubt. Because the intimate planetary connection in that past life was not Gaia.

[Ankh]

While I am endlessly fascinated with the entire narrative of the American Revolution, battles included, what really draws me is the foundational ideals that were driving the American forces.

Of course it was a mixed bag, with STS energies and intentions on both sides of the conflict, but in that mix were ideals, however imperfectly realized and applied, regarding the equality of all peoples, their right to self-governance and freedom, etc. And so much of that particular conflict of ideas regarding the nature of things was fought with the pen. : )

I think that most generals or other people leading other people, being in higher/est positions, are leading based upon their ideas, visions, and by pen. By various reasons, these people, are not the ones you would throw in the middle of the battle. But I don't know. It was just an idea that popped up into my head, when reading your initial post.

Monica, thank you for your reply. It certainly brought me understandings that I haven't thought of before, and different angles of viewing.

where orders are to be followed, and never questioned. All my childhood was spent in atheism. Would you mind to give some hints about what to look for, when examining that?

When children are taught to blindly follow orders from 'authority' figures, without ever questioning, that is STS programming, and it can leave a very deep imprint.

Thank you for offering your view upon this subject. I just quote the above part, but liked your whole thought on this. Personally I don't feel that "authority" imprinting applies to me though, in terms of searching and/or having a need to have an authority to look up to. I've seen examples of that in my life when looking back, and see that when such situations happen, I back off instead of either fighting these people, or subjecting myself into that order. Of course I react when there is an obivious abuse of power, but not more than a normal human being would react I'd guess.

Your other point was:

My point is that too much certainty can be just as much of an imbalance as too much doubt.

My belief is that most of our memories are distorted in some way or other. Not all of them though! I also believe that this doubt has its grounding in its original doubt, which is doubt of self. But as you, I believe that it serves a very good purpose, that of discernment.

What do you mean by original doubt and doubt of self?

My upbringing was such that the first part of the childhood was spent in accepting and extremely loving environment. It was colored by service to others. That, in my belief, was a foundation that made a firm ground for what came later. The second part was spent in service to self environment, as I said. I learned a lot of things in that environment. The most difficult lesson perhaps is that in service to self environment you do not doubt yourself. If you are in the position where you have power over others, you act based upon a very firm, strong, powerful foundation that whatever you believe and think is right, is right. And you try to manipulate and/or control your surroundings and environment based on what you think and believe is right. You do not allow others to question you. In that environment there is of course no room for doubting the self. If you are not in the position of power, you subject yourself to this out of necessity, but try to free yourself as much as possible, in order to do what *you* (general "you", not personal "you") think is right. No matter position, you do not doubt yourself. Ever. I don't think that I learned this lesson.

I liked your point that there has to be balance. Too much certainity and/or too much doubt is an imbalance. I doubt things. I question stuff. But what I think is that this need to question and doubt things, originates from, is the initial doubt, where it all begins so to speak, and that is the doubt of the self.

Yes, but at the same time, I also believe that many past life memories really are past life memories. We know that we've lived past lives. So if we remember them, there's no reason to doubt whether they're real or just symbolic. This is a case where I see no reason to doubt them.

Yeah, I've had that thought too. Like: "We've had gazillions of lives, why imagine something that didn't happen, when there is so much material to choose between of stuff that *did* happen." And still I tend to do that too much anyway. As you said, too much doubt is not healthy. On the other hand, if I would believe myself to have been Cleopatra, I think that some doubt in that case is healthy. j/k

It depends on how you define I.

Each personality is but a fragment of our whole self. It is the whole self who remembers the past lives. So when I remembered being in a dungeon, it was ME. Not someone else.

I still remember the agonized wailing...the despair. Those emotions were very raw. They haunted me my entire childhood. That was me who experienced that.

Being told by a psychic that I was a merchant in Venice, for example, evokes no such emotion. Since I have no emotional connection with that person, then it might as well be an other-self.

It is the memories I retrieve myself that are meaningful to me. It's like retrieving parts of myself that were lost, and reintegrating them back into the whole.

The memories aren't even what's important. The healing is what's important. Memories aren't likely to surface unless there is healing to be done.

Thank you for offering this. I understand how you mean, and it certainly added to my understanding.

---

Hi Ankh,

I see what your are saying. I think it has to do with yourbody, and your identity with your body and your past physical bodies. Since they are finite and die and they are unique and special. Now your body is intimately connected with Gaia's body, but if you are a wanderer from another planet, you past body is connected to that planet. So on the planetary scale you may feel a sense of disconnection since you were part of a different planetary body.

So while here, your identity is tied in with Gaia, and your body is part of Gaia's body. But in the past your connection with Gaia was on a much vaster scale, not so intimately connected, and if you were/are not aware or experiencing the whole of creation, then maybe that is why you feel doubt. Because the intimate planetary connection in that past life was not Gaia.

Thanks, sweety! I have not thought like that before! :idea: It explains *so* much stuff...

(I *love* this place!) =)

[Shemaya]

[BrownEye]

I used to think of being Thomas Jefferson, but that's akin to being Cleopatra. :-)

Much to my dismay, all the other girls thought the same thing. We realized, with much disappointment, that we couldn't all have been Cleopatra!

What's with Cleopatra anyway? Like the most famous past life ever.

What if we were all Cleopatra?

Or.......what if we only have access to "perspective", and we actually see things from the eyes of the opposite perspective of the interaction?

I am only aware of two lives. My lesser soul began to give me hints here and there that led me to research and eventually gave me a lineage name, a date of incarnation, and a date of leaving that incarnation. With those specifics I was able to dig up a specific person and few details about him. Once I looked at this individuals supposed personality it suddenly clicked in my mind that that experience set me up for my childhood. At that moment a huge part of my early life changed from the perspective of a victim to the perspective of a creator. This life ended about 500 years ago which logically means I am not a "new" soul, but at least an average growth being.

Another life I found was as a Mayan, but no way for me to find specifics in written history.

[Monica]

I think that most generals or other people leading other people, being in higher/est positions, are leading based upon their ideas, visions, and by pen. By various reasons, these people, are not the ones you would throw in the middle of the battle. But I don't know. It was just an idea that popped up into my head, when reading your initial post.

It can go either way. Some might truly believe in a vision of protecting their people, and be motivated by STO. Others might relish the power of controlling the lives and deaths of others, and thus be motivated by STS. In the case of the STS ones, the fact that they never actually go into battle themselves, while sending others into battle, is all the more reprehensible.

I wouldn't assume that every person with past lifetimes as a warrior or general is necessarily STS. Some may have been STO. Many were mixed. And the STO's may have gotten caught up in the events of their particular time. Their exposure to the STS aspects of war may even have helped crystallize their commitment to the STO path.

Monica, thank you for your reply. It certainly brought me understandings that I haven't thought of before, and different angles of viewing.

Thank you for offering your view upon this subject. I just quote the above part, but liked your whole thought on this. Personally I don't feel that "authority" imprinting applies to me though, in terms of searching and/or having a need to have an authority to look up to.

I was speaking in generalities, in answer to your question.

My upbringing was such that the first part of the childhood was spent in accepting and extremely loving environment. It was colored by service to others. That, in my belief, was a foundation that made a firm ground for what came later. The second part was spent in service to self environment, as I said. I learned a lot of things in that environment. The most difficult lesson perhaps is that in service to self environment you do not doubt yourself. If you are in the position where you have power over others, you act based upon a very firm, strong, powerful foundation that whatever you believe and think is right, is right. And you try to manipulate and/or control your surroundings and environment based on what you think and believe is right. You do not allow others to question you. In that environment there is of course no room for doubting the self. If you are not in the position of power, you subject yourself to this out of necessity, but try to free yourself as much as possible, in order to do what *you* (general "you", not personal "you") think is right. No matter position, you do not doubt yourself. Ever. I don't think that I learned this lesson.

Perhaps it wasn't necessary to "learn that lesson" because you no longer need that protective mechanism, since you are (presumably) no longer in an STS environment. (Just a suggestion to consider.)

I was raised in a very abusive household my entire childhood. I reacted in a very different way. There are many different coping mechanisms that children might use.

Some children withdraw, in response to trauma. Some might suppress the pain to the point of blocking it out as though it never happened, where it festers below the threshold of conscious awareness, until the memories are triggered later in life. Some who were falsely accused or punished might develop a fierce protective mechanism of self and an unshakable sense of justice. Some might respond by developing their own strength, becoming fiercely independent and self-reliant, sometimes to the point of 'needing no one' and blocking their heart chakra...unable to open themselves to love because they are afraid of getting hurt again. Some might learn to play the STS game of power and control over others, because it's necessary for their survival.

All of these are understandable responses to an abusive/STS environment. All are responses to catalyst, for the purpose of helping us balance and evolve. But each one of these can also lead to other imbalances, because the response might be taken too far in the other direction; thus, new catalysts may come about that refine and balance those qualities that were learned, all of which are now integrated parts of the self, but not the whole self.

In the matter of self doubt: To become so strong in one's self-worth that there is never any self doubt might have been necessary at one time, but it isn't necessarily ideal.

Doubting information that one receives, or doubting one's thoughts or emotions, isn't inherently unhealthy. Nor is it an indication that one has any less self worth.

It's simply a necessary part of discernment.

I can see how being in an STS environment made it necessary to never allow anyone to question self, because self was struggling for survival. But I can also see how that might be unnecessary or even an imbalance later. Other-selves are self. They are mirrors. When they question, that too have value. Why suppress or reject something of value?

To do so might indicate a hidden fear: a fear of losing one's sense of self. Again, understandable in an STS environment.

As long as something is avoided, there is an indication that it may be an aspect of self that is being avoided, and it might be beneficial to allow it to bubble up to the surface, where it can be examined, balanced, and healed.

Again, I speak in generalities, not at you personally!

The Chinese have a saying:

Enter by form, exit by form.

By fully exploring a certain aspect of self, whether it's self-worth or whatever, we can then let go of our attachment to it, because it too is but a part of who we are and not the whole self.

True self worth doesn't need the attachment to self worth, if that makes any sense.

Attachments to certain ways of thinking, such as "never ever allow anyone to doubt me" or "never ever allow someone to falsely accuse me" serve a purpose at times. But as we heal, those attachments fall away. We don't need them anymore.

I liked your point that there has to be balance. Too much certainity and/or too much doubt is an imbalance. I doubt things. I question stuff. But what I think is that this need to question and doubt things, originates from, is the initial doubt, where it all begins so to speak, and that is the doubt of the self.

I'm still unclear as to what you mean by initial doubt and doubt of the self.

You seem to indicate that any doubt is somehow a disservice to self.

Am I understanding you correctly? Can you clarify?

It seems to me that to categorize doubt as something "never ever to do" would be similar to categorizing anger as something "never ever to do."

Both are just aspects of who we are. Both have their purpose. Both are gifts from the Creator, to be used appropriately. Both should be integrated, rather than denied, in my opinion.

Yeah, I've had that thought too. Like: "We've had gazillions of lives, why imagine something that didn't happen, when there is so much material to choose between of stuff that *did* happen." And still I tend to do that too much anyway. As you said, too much doubt is not healthy. On the other hand, if I would believe myself to have been Cleopatra, I think that some doubt in that case is healthy. j/k

Agreed!

I would draw a distinction between genuine emotional connections and strong actual memories of being a famous historical figure, as opposed to fantasizing about a glamorous past life.

For example, Azrael just shared with us how he would look in the mirror and see Crowley's face. That sounds authentic to me. It seems to have substance, in contrast to a momentary whim "oh I think I was Cleopatra" because we found her story glamorous.

I find it amusing when some people remember only the famous past lives. What about all the times we were 'mere' peasants? Those lifetimes were important too!

I had a friend who was convinced she had been both Moses and Joan of Arc. Her personality was such that I found it quite plausible. Very enmeshed in the Bible, and a very strong, controlling person. But it is also quite possible that she identified with Moses in some ways, and that she really was burned at the stake. But she might have been some no-name peasant 'witch' who was burned at the stake. That part may have been true, but she might have seized upon the idea of having been Joan of Arc because Joan was a famous person who was burned at the stake. Joan of Arc has become iconic - an archetypal representation for all women who were burned at the stake by corrupt religious leaders.

It's understandable that any of us would identify more with the iconic personality, than with some peasant. The archetype is the same. The past life memories are still genuine. We just maybe got the name wrong.

So yes, I agree that a bit of doubt and discernment is necessary when dealing with famous personalities.

But the flip side of that is, that this is also the very reason there's no need to doubt memories of no-name peasants. That woman in the dungeon was a nobody. I have no idea what her name was. She wasn't anyone famous. But she was me. So I have no reason to doubt that.

The idea that I may have been a famous person - Ann Boleyn - carries much more room for doubt. I may have been any other queen who was murdered. It might not have been Ann Boleyn. I'm just not certain of that part. I just know I was some queen who was beheaded. Ann Boleyn is just one person who fits that description, so maybe I was her. Maybe not. Maybe my strong emotions when in Westminster Abbey were because of some unknown, not-famous queen in a corner, who was forgotten by history.

[Diana]

I am only aware of two lives. My lesser soul began to give me hints here and there that led me to research and eventually gave me a lineage name, a date of incarnation, and a date of leaving that incarnation. With those specifics I was able to dig up a specific person and few details about him. Once I looked at this individuals supposed personality it suddenly clicked in my mind that that experience set me up for my childhood. At that moment a huge part of my early life changed from the perspective of a victim to the perspective of a creator. This life ended about 500 years ago which logically means I am not a "new" soul, but at least an average growth being.

So cool Pickle. Your ability to evolve is exemplary. You just seem to get it.

---

I also have an idea that we may peek into other lives for perspectives, and not have to live the lives. Perhaps Cleopatra was open to other souls learning through her vehicle by allowing them to take a little ride through her physical eyes and body. Just a thought.

Shamans do something like this when they inhabit animals.

[Monica]

BAM! Without time to think through a conscious series of thoughts, I *immediately* knew I recognized those eyes. I had just seen them during the previous weekend.

I might doubt the legitimacy of this experience if I had had a moment to say, "Hey, this is the supposed past life of this particular individual." And then attempt to mentally examine Cayce's face to see if I could identify any similarities.

But as the experience unfolded over the span of a fraction of a second, I knew that whatever part of my mind that makes such connections had made the connection of its own accord. The same basic process happens when you see another and think, "She looks like that actress from that one movie", or, "You look just like so and so."

And, to boot, the experience is repeatable. To this day I can view a picture of Cayce and see the same eyes looking out through Cayce's that I knew so well.

I didn't recognize distinct facial similarities, perhaps there were. For me it was limited to the eyes, probably the most telling and distinguishing windows into the soul, in terms of outer physical characteristics that is.

This has done more to convince me that DW really is Cayce, than anything else.

[Unbound]

My understanding of past/parallels functions on a somewhat different paradigm than some, I believe. Although to mention, it has been multiple times of this experience as Crowley, and other experiences and full visual memories. This is not the point though.

I feel that past lives are chosen as catalyst. This allows an individual to develop more on a spiritual level within a single life-time than if the consciousness focus had only access to information obtained directly from sensual experience.

In a way, I have allowed myself to merge with these individual Life-Streams as a source of lesson, and in an attempt to assist in the work of the global karma by seeking to heal and assist understanding of these Life-Streams. You could say that the saga of many of these Lifes, I feel, and their coming to terms with THEMSELVES are being played partially as an expression through this body. I have allowed this because I feel that I can handle it, and in this way I would assist to alleviate all by bearing the responsibility for these lives as a conscious Co-Creator. This has been my choice within my own conscience, although I will say that I have done much healing already of many other Life-Streams I connect to.

This is how I express my multi-dimensional being.

[Tenet Nosce]

I have evidence of a past life as an individual who was very influential in the spiritual/esoteric thought movement of the late 19th century. Certain ideas passed down through this person's work were later twisted by others and put to STS purposes... which looking back now is probably one of the reasons I was so struck by the Ra material when they were relating a similar story to me 15+ years ago.

I don't feel the need/desire to name this person, but they wouldn't be a "household" name even among spiritual seekers and metaphysical enthusiasts. Though certainly anybody here would be familiar with certain concepts this person spoke and wrote about, such as Atlantis, well before Edgar Cayce came around.

According to some historical accounts, this person had a certain propensity toward plagiarism and megalomania, though I tend to disagree. Naturally I would. However, seeing as how their works became twisted to dark purposes and their name all but lost to obscurity, I can see how there may have been some element of karma at play there- or rather ego getting in the way of clear expression.

The primary evidence for this past life is "dream" evidence, and I put "dream" in quotes for a reason because I am almost certain I was astral/time traveling to this person's home during multiple experiences many years ago. I have since confirmed the location of this building on Earth, and verified with Google Earth several unique structural features of this place I was traveling to so many years ago.

The secondary evidence I have for this is confirmation by my partner, who I learned had also been astral visiting this place. She has seen different parts of the building than myself, but there are certain parts we have both seen. We also have both seen that in one of the rooms is a golden globe and a golden piano. Note, these visitations were going on many years before we ever met in person. I don't even remember how it came up in conversation between us, but I do know it was very early on in the relationship and not something I would normally bring up so easily.

The tertiary evidence I have for this is confirmation from a psychic friend of mine who is also also an art dealer, and very good with psychometry. Normally, I wouldn't give psychics much credibility but I can vouch for this particular one as she has been right about things that pissed me off and I didn't want to admit, but later had to go back and admit she was right.

Since becoming aware of all of this, I have also come across a very interesting idea put forth by Dolores Cannon which suggest that, for some souls incarnated here on Earth, it may actually be their first time here. These are able to draw from the Akashic Records and take certain memories as their own, in order to help guide them through tumultuous times. Perhaps this explains why so many people claim to be Cleopatra, etc.

But anyway, one of the more poignant aspects of rumination on past lives is- does it matter? Does it actually help us in any way? In this particular case, I would say yes and I say this noting that my default answer to this question would typically be no.

It just so happened that I came into certain personal details of this individual's life just as I happened upon a crisis point within my own. It's kind of hard to explain, but one day I started feeling a deep sense of compassion for this person. Then- I came to realize that this person was myself if I didn't start making different choices in my own life. So this became an immensely valuable lesson for me, whether or not the past life is actually true.

To be able to view the suffering of another self with great concern and great love- but also with great humor- is something that has changed the way I view myself and the world. If that other me only knew what I know now... makes me wonder who is looking in on me at this moment, and what they might know that I don't know...

---

Hey speaking of past lives, what does everyone think about the idea that the facial structure stays basically the same from one lifetime to the next? Isn't that rather...convenient? Most of the pictures I've seen were quite a stretch. Do you think there's something to it? If so, then discovering our past lives would be a lot easier: Just find someone in history you look like.

I had a preliminary reading with a guy named Brian Stalin who claims to be able to directly read the Akashic records. Not incidentally, he claims that DW is the reincarnation of Rasputin, and has some interesting things to say about the Ra Material. I came across this information on a Google search for "don elkins suicide".

He agreed to a preliminary reading, and asked for several pictures of myself, along with friends and family members. I sent him some of me, but declined to send any of friends or family members. He said this could lessen the accuracy of the reading.

He returned a picture with no name. I did a reverse image search and found it to be somebody in the English royalty who lived during the late 19th/early 20th century. Interestingly, this life overlapped with the one I previously discussed, so unless I was living two lives at once... well... I heard that is possible but I will stick to the point...

Looking at several pictures of this person, there were definitely many facial similarities between them and myself. And I also found one picture of them with a relative who was a dinger for a cousin of mine through marriage that has a similar name.

Still, I'm inclined to stick with the life I already had in mind. Unless we allow for living more than one simultaneously, which I guess in theory isn't there only one Spirit incarnating over and over again? But then that makes the whole discussion somewhat pointless and maybe that is the point.

[Oceania]

i'm glad i was born without the obedience gene. i don't think my parents coulda done anything to make me respect authority of any kind. to me it always has to be earned, and mine to give. maybe because of past lives people are so easily programmable.

i'm pretty sure i may have been a dolphin, just because i remember being free and joyful and more concept than words. that's why i thought i was from a telepathic world. anyways i love water. i was told by someone i was a hard working respectful person in the past life, and that's why now i am an aquarius and totally lazy and stuff. cuz i had to balance that out. i can't see myself as hard working. although i sorta can. it makes sense. so depending on this life my next life would be a certain sign.

[Ankh]

I liked your point that there has to be balance. Too much certainity and/or too much doubt is an imbalance. I doubt things. I question stuff. But what I think is that this need to question and doubt things, originates from, is the initial doubt, where it all begins so to speak, and that is the doubt of the self.

I'm still unclear as to what you mean by initial doubt and doubt of the self.

You seem to indicate that any doubt is somehow a disservice to self.

Am I understanding you correctly? Can you clarify?

It seems to me that to categorize doubt as something "never ever to do" would be similar to categorizing anger as something "never ever to do."

Both are just aspects of who we are. Both have their purpose. Both are gifts from the Creator, to be used appropriately. Both should be integrated, rather than denied, in my opinion.

I understand what you are saying, and agree with you. I did not mean that any doubt is the disservice to the self, but that I doubt too much. About everything. And I think that it originates in the doubt of myself. Maybe it has something to do with self worth. I don't know. But I doubt myself all the time. Is this correct? Is this incorrect? In regards to everything, my thoughts, beliefs, understanding, emotions etc... Ah, well, we all have our problems. ; )

i'm glad i was born without the obedience gene. i don't think my parents coulda done anything to make me respect authority of any kind. to me it always has to be earned, and mine to give. maybe because of past lives people are so easily programmable.

The understanding that I got from the environment where I grew up, is that if you don't do as you are told, they can't control the entity, then this entity will be eliminated one way or another. I saw that and understood that. I feared for my life, as I was a child. Would it happen later when I was adult, maybe I would choose differently. This understanding did not occur to me when I was younger though.

Back to the thread: I think that this life is the first one upon Gaia, and what started these series of further incarnations. It comes as such anyway. I was an Egyptian.. priestess? Or some kind of servant in the... temple? Or where some kind of worship was going on. I served together with others. What we did, besides our daily services in the temple, is that we entertained and danced in bigger gatherings/groups. I don't know what kind of gatherings these were. It was bigger rooms, which sometimes did not have the walls towards gardens, or the outside. There were people there. I was different back then, and that is what I meant earlier that my personality has changed so much since then. Ah, how I wish to bring it all back again!

Anyway, I lived alone, and I was connected to a vibration that was very beautiful, and to the Creator. When I served, I was able to *connect* to each entity on the levels that are very difficult for me to come close to, in this lifetime. After these gatherings there were intimate moments with men. And I have rememberings of that, though vague and distorted they may be. Ah, good old days.... ; )

[Monica]

I did not mean that any doubt is the disservice to the self, but that I doubt too much. About everything. And I think that it originates in the doubt of myself. Maybe it has something to do with self worth. I don't know. But I doubt myself all the time. Is this correct? Is this incorrect? In regards to everything, my thoughts, beliefs, understanding, emotions etc... Ah, well, we all have our problems. ; )

This is surprising. Based on other comments you've made, I got the impression that you were very, very confident and never allowed yourself to doubt, but just accepted whatever thoughts came to you.

Now that you say you doubt yourself all the time, I can understand how making a decision to 'not' doubt could be a reasonable response to that.

Yes, we all do have our challenges/catalysts! Thank you for sharing! And blessings to you on your healing journey. Your childhood sounds like it was very traumatic. I hope you find full healing from it.