STO, Masculinity, Humor: Real World Questions

[xise]

Greetings all. First post. Some background is in order.

I am new to the Law of One material, but it really struck a strong cord with me. I'd guess I read half of the material. I've always been a spiritually sensitive person - I actively pursued agnosticism for most of my life. I found it at a time in my life when I had been introspecting and examining social interaction and courtship, from a pickup artist perspective. I grew up most of life depressed (early 30s now) but the past two to three years after resolving my self esteem issues I have been trying to live up life with youthful decadence (partying, picking up girls at bar for ons, learning to be the alpha male in group settings).

These were things were very fun, I felt I got better the more darkness or negative energy I was willing to use (via dominance and negative energy humor and tempting women to cheat) and that made me feel more and more hollow. And it felt like it wasn't me. I'd have repeated dreams of being in a collapsing building, especially after causing women to cheat on significant others...so I turned from that path the last four months and decided that I wanted to embrace positivity and not cause anyone to be hurt...I had a dream three weeks ago where I ask this woman if I'm on the right path and she said look around you already know the answer and the colors of my dreamworld were so bright...I knew immediately I was on a brighter path...yay

-------------------------------

My question is about integrating a STO lifestyle while still being humorous, and masculine:

Some forms of humor:
-silly (seems positive/compatible with sto)
-cocky funny (usually negative, but maybe some postive is possible)
-sarcasm (depends on tone but more sts)
-put downs of others (sts)

masculinity:
-alpha feeling/acting as if you are superior to others (sts)
-strength-aggression/standing up and being ready to escalate physically if insulted (sts)
-strength-silent emotional/being a rock strength (sto)
-wisdom (sto)
-always leading in interactions with others, especially females (women seem to love this, but it feels more natural for me when I'm feeling the light to be 50/50...some women seem to get off when you treat them like you know better...feels very sts)
-extreme confidence and bravado - acting as if you are never wrong (feels sts)

I really love the feeling of connectedness I get when I follow positivity, the odd sensation in my heart area, but I notice that I tend to be more introverted. I'm not as much the life of the party. I'm don't find myself flirting as much. It feels like I used to use negative energy methods (not exclusively, but used it none the less) to engage in these actions.

It also seems like the typical sto masters (Jesus, Buddha etc) seem to display withdrawal from being as animated as those who are not polarized or sts polarized.

I'm on a mission to find out how to integrate sto with a personality that is still super outgoing and the life of the party so to speak...maybe that's possible...maybe its not and this just means maybe my soul is not ready to polarize...your thoughts on the matter are appreciated.

-xise

[Unbound]

I appreciate you coming out and asking these things, because honestly it is a point of confusion I have been struggling with myself!

As a musician, I have potential to become "well-known", and honestly I feel I've avoided any form of success because I'm not sure what "fame" would mean to my path.

[Aaron]

Well first off, welcome to the forums, xice!!

Love is transformative. As more love energy is brought up through you, the personality is built in the way you're wanting for it to be built. Other parts of you that aren't conducive to this new image are transmuted into energies that DO work with the new image.

I am sure that, if not just a radiance of presence, Jesus and the Buddha most likely had a very memorable personality. I'm sure that their personalities are defined to themselves in the self reflections of the WAY they enjoy serving others. Whatever particular aspects of loving interactions with others are focused on and enhanced by the self are the parts of the outgoing STO personality that begin to show themselves and bloom.

As far as STO and masculinity... I can identify that the male aspect can indeed act as a rock or an anchor. Beyond that though, I don't know much...

[Patrick]

...especially after causing women to cheat on significant others...

I hope you have forgiven yourself for any of this, because you didn't cause any women to cheat. You simply provided catalysts, an opportunity. We all have choices to make when confronted with catalysts. They chose to cheat.

[Brittany]

Sarcasm is STS? I'm in trouble.

[Cyan]

Char Chasm!

[Shin'Ar]

Sarcasm is STS? I'm in trouble.

You might as well give up now Lynn! lol

[xise]

It's been a beautiful four months

There has been an integration, and I think a lot of the trouble was that when you are around people who vibrate at a different level, it seems that either vibration of yours or theirs prevails and the other vibrating person kind of goes low energy. at least this is the phenomenon I've seen repeat itself in many social gatherings and this realization has answered many questions on the subject as I find when my vibration is the one that prevails the thers become introverted and my extroverted qualities naturally emerge.

Mind you I use this terminology of prevailing but I make not effort to fight different vibrations - just sometimes the vibe changes when you put your energy into a social situation I've noticed.

[Shin'Ar]

Greetings all. First post. Some background is in order.

I am new to the Law of One material, but it really struck a strong cord with me. I'd guess I read half of the material. I've always been a spiritually sensitive person - I actively pursued agnosticism for most of my life. I found it at a time in my life when I had been introspecting and examining social interaction and courtship, from a pickup artist perspective. I grew up most of life depressed (early 30s now) but the past two to three years after resolving my self esteem issues I have been trying to live up life with youthful decadence (partying, picking up girls at bar for ons, learning to be the alpha male in group settings).

These were things were very fun, I felt I got better the more darkness or negative energy I was willing to use (via dominance and negative energy humor and tempting women to cheat) and that made me feel more and more hollow. And it felt like it wasn't me. I'd have repeated dreams of being in a collapsing building, especially after causing women to cheat on significant others...so I turned from that path the last four months and decided that I wanted to embrace positivity and not cause anyone to be hurt...I had a dream three weeks ago where I ask this woman if I'm on the right path and she said look around you already know the answer and the colors of my dreamworld were so bright...I knew immediately I was on a brighter path...yay

-------------------------------

My question is about integrating a STO lifestyle while still being humorous, and masculine:

Some forms of humor:
-silly (seems positive/compatible with sto)
-cocky funny (usually negative, but maybe some postive is possible)
-sarcasm (depends on tone but more sts)
-put downs of others (sts)

masculinity:
-alpha feeling/acting as if you are superior to others (sts)
-strength-aggression/standing up and being ready to escalate physically if insulted (sts)
-strength-silent emotional/being a rock strength (sto)
-wisdom (sto)
-always leading in interactions with others, especially females (women seem to love this, but it feels more natural for me when I'm feeling the light to be 50/50...some women seem to get off when you treat them like you know better...feels very sts)
-extreme confidence and bravado - acting as if you are never wrong (feels sts)

I really love the feeling of connectedness I get when I follow positivity, the odd sensation in my heart area, but I notice that I tend to be more introverted. I'm not as much the life of the party. I'm don't find myself flirting as much. It feels like I used to use negative energy methods (not exclusively, but used it none the less) to engage in these actions.

It also seems like the typical sto masters (Jesus, Buddha etc) seem to display withdrawal from being as animated as those who are not polarized or sts polarized.

I'm on a mission to find out how to integrate sto with a personality that is still super outgoing and the life of the party so to speak...maybe that's possible...maybe its not and this just means maybe my soul is not ready to polarize...your thoughts on the matter are appreciated.

-xise

It's obvious that what you are doing is associating your own ideas of what masculinity are, along with your own ideas of what selflessness might be.

of course who else's ideas would you use? This is your experience and understanding of this life.

But with that in mind, the real question should then become, can i think differently and conform to other ideas and thought patterns?

Can one who defines manliness as the display of muscle and aggression, also see manliness in one who expresses their self as less muscular and less aggressive?

In other words you are wondering if it is possible for you to become the opposite to what you believe you are now? And because you are so pleased with what you are now, your doubts are more in why would you want to be different? Is this 'other path' worth giving up those things to which you are addicted?

the reason I am replying in this way is because, coincidentally or not, I believe I can answer your concerns in another thread that I have just posted called Addicted to Humanity. What timing and synchronicity eh!

The question you have is not as much about the differences you presume between the real man and what you might consider a lesser male model, but more about the things we want in our lives that we may not want to alter.

I am 220 pounds of muscle and very masculine nature which i struggle to control daily for the sake of being compatible with my very feminine and ladylike wife. I know that she loves my masculinity as that is what attracts her to me visually and sexually. But she is also attracted to many of my attributes that have nothing to do with physical quality or quantity. And should life result in my losing the physical attributes, as life does tend to do, our commitment to be compatible with each other, is what defines our relationship, and thus who and what we become. as a single man you do not yet realize this struggle to be compatible, but there are many relationships in your life other than romantic which cause you to adapt to become compatible to another that shares that interaction with you. Your boss at work. Your nieces. Your recreational friends.

When you realize that the person we see in the mirror is not an exact reflection of what others see when they look at us and come to know us, then you also realize that what you are is far more than your physicality and the way which you express that. The real you is an adaptation of constantly changing events in your life. Your sparring partner will not know you as the same person that your little niece would know. The person your mother knows is not the person your enemy knows.

Until we understand this dynamic of human nature, the paths we choose to walk are secondary.

[xise]

Shin'Ar, thank you for your thoughts. I think they are spot on in many ways. These past four months I've found pure joy in being who I am, and I find that I attract people who vibrate at a similar level.

The evolution of who I am as a person is no longer consciously influenced by societal whims, or what is found good or successful. It is what feels right in the moment, as a sum total of (1) my experience, (2) my basic nature, and (3) my path (STO), always keeping in mind that there is infinite room for growth, yet there infinite perfection in the moment for the person I am at that second.

It's definitely been a fucking beautiful four months. And I couldn't have done it without all of you!!

much love
xise

[Shin'Ar]

Shin'Ar, thank you for your thoughts. I think they are spot on in many ways. These past four months I've found pure joy in being who I am, and I find that I attract people who vibrate at a similar level.

The evolution of who I am as a person is no longer consciously influenced by societal whims, or what is found good or successful. It is what feels right in the moment, as a sum total of (1) my experience, (2) my basic nature, and (3) my path (STO), always keeping in mind that there is infinite room for growth, yet there infinite perfection in the moment for the person I am at that second.

It's definitely been a fucking beautiful four months. And I couldn't have done it without all of you!!

much love
xise

You da Man!

[Brittany]

This sort of reminds me of my hubby, who, as most of you know, is an enormous guy- 6'10", covered in hair and insanely strong (he can pick me up like I'm an apple). He gets a lot of comments that hint people automatically expect aggressive, overly-masculine behavior from him. Stuff like "What sports do you play?" and "Aw, man, I wouldn't want to mess with you! You'd bash my face in!" They automatically treat him like a big, dumb jock, talking down to him, and they seem to think that just because he could toss a person across the room easily he does it at random for fun. In reality he is one of the most gentle, sensitive, extremely intelligent and open-minded people I've ever met (not to mention a huge geek who abhors sports) and I know these comments hurt him. He gets really tired of people seeing "the big guy" before they see Walter.

The thing I love about him, though, is he's never felt the need to conform to other people's expectations. He has no problem with people knowing he loves comic conventions and cuddling and long walks in the park. Anyone who actually gets to know him usually immediately respects him, because that kind of honesty and open-heartedness just shuts down the haters.

I, on the other hand, am often considered rather "butch", as I am not especially expressive in my emotions and I don't enjoy "girly" things like shopping and spending a lot of time on my appearance. I am straight-forward, outspoken, I usually rise to the helm of any endeavor and I am not a taker of crap. I can stare down men three times my size and though I'm slight in stature there are few who would think to give me a hard time. It's a pretty common joke that I'm the one who wears the pants in my family. But does that make me feel un-feminine? Absolutely not. I am very in touch with my femininity. What I am not in touch with is the feminine stereotype.

I don't think what we are talking about here is masculinity and femininity, but the stereotypes that have been associated with them over the ages- stereotypes that are a far cry from the divine masculine and feminine we each carry within us. I think it's time to stop using such terms to define ourselves (I'm gonna go ahead and throw the terms "STS" and "STO" in here, too), instead listening to our hearts when it comes to deciding what is and is not of service. Everyone is equipped with the ability to tell within themselves when something feels right or wrong. And if that doesn't work, one only has to behold the results of their actions to gauge the level of service. The way you treat others will definitely affect how they react to you.

---

Gosh I talk a lot. I think I could have wrapped all that up with "Be yourself!"

[kdsii]

You've read 'The Game', and stuff by David Deangelo then, yeah?
You know, I think it's a natural progression to learn about human interaction. I mean, how we REALLY act. IT's fascinating, and can make you wonder if you would use this to your advantage.

Interesting reads, but they miss the fact that all this STS wisdom is built on fear, that you can't be attractive without arming yourself with tricks and routines.

But, what I've found, is that this way of thinking breaks any kind of synchronicity in your life...

It seems, when I focus my thoughts and actions on serving others, my ego quiets down, and things just come smoothly...

Also, the reason spiritual masters aren't lively characters, I think, is because the ego isn't fed with validations from the outside world. If Lady Gaga suddenly was at one, at peace, with existence one day, would she keep showing up in meat dresses? NO.

Greetings all. First post. Some background is in order.

I am new to the Law of One material, but it really struck a strong cord with me. I'd guess I read half of the material. I've always been a spiritually sensitive person - I actively pursued agnosticism for most of my life. I found it at a time in my life when I had been introspecting and examining social interaction and courtship, from a pickup artist perspective. I grew up most of life depressed (early 30s now) but the past two to three years after resolving my self esteem issues I have been trying to live up life with youthful decadence (partying, picking up girls at bar for ons, learning to be the alpha male in group settings).

These were things were very fun, I felt I got better the more darkness or negative energy I was willing to use (via dominance and negative energy humor and tempting women to cheat) and that made me feel more and more hollow. And it felt like it wasn't me. I'd have repeated dreams of being in a collapsing building, especially after causing women to cheat on significant others...so I turned from that path the last four months and decided that I wanted to embrace positivity and not cause anyone to be hurt...I had a dream three weeks ago where I ask this woman if I'm on the right path and she said look around you already know the answer and the colors of my dreamworld were so bright...I knew immediately I was on a brighter path...yay

-------------------------------

My question is about integrating a STO lifestyle while still being humorous, and masculine:

Some forms of humor:
-silly (seems positive/compatible with sto)
-cocky funny (usually negative, but maybe some postive is possible)
-sarcasm (depends on tone but more sts)
-put downs of others (sts)

masculinity:
-alpha feeling/acting as if you are superior to others (sts)
-strength-aggression/standing up and being ready to escalate physically if insulted (sts)
-strength-silent emotional/being a rock strength (sto)
-wisdom (sto)
-always leading in interactions with others, especially females (women seem to love this, but it feels more natural for me when I'm feeling the light to be 50/50...some women seem to get off when you treat them like you know better...feels very sts)
-extreme confidence and bravado - acting as if you are never wrong (feels sts)

I really love the feeling of connectedness I get when I follow positivity, the odd sensation in my heart area, but I notice that I tend to be more introverted. I'm not as much the life of the party. I'm don't find myself flirting as much. It feels like I used to use negative energy methods (not exclusively, but used it none the less) to engage in these actions.

It also seems like the typical sto masters (Jesus, Buddha etc) seem to display withdrawal from being as animated as those who are not polarized or sts polarized.

I'm on a mission to find out how to integrate sto with a personality that is still super outgoing and the life of the party so to speak...maybe that's possible...maybe its not and this just means maybe my soul is not ready to polarize...your thoughts on the matter are appreciated.

-xise

---

Yes, but there's some powerful STS weapons out there.
Most positively oriented beings will recognize this (a few of those involved did) and will run back the other direction.

I'm referring to dating material, dominating social scenes, and how to build a powerful ego that others crave.
So I think it's normal that an intelligent being would wonder how people become so 'important', socially, and study this path.
But, It's built on -fear- of your own internal void.
Empty in the long run.

...especially after causing women to cheat on significant others...

I hope you have forgiven yourself for any of this, because you didn't cause any women to cheat. You simply provided catalysts, an opportunity. We all have choices to make when confronted with catalysts. They chose to cheat.

[Brittany]

I am 220 pounds of muscle and very masculine nature which i struggle to control daily for the sake of being compatible with my very feminine and ladylike wife. I know that she loves my masculinity as that is what attracts her to me visually and sexually.

That combined with the drawing I did makes me think of this: http://browse.deviantart.com/?order=9&q=...6#/d36hj2e

I hope at least a few people get the reference.

[Shin'Ar]

This sort of reminds me of my hubby, who, as most of you know, is an enormous guy- 6'10", covered in hair and insanely strong (he can pick me up like I'm an apple). He gets a lot of comments that hint people automatically expect aggressive, overly-masculine behavior from him. Stuff like "What sports do you play?" and "Aw, man, I wouldn't want to mess with you! You'd bash my face in!" They automatically treat him like a big, dumb jock, talking down to him, and they seem to think that just because he could toss a person across the room easily he does it at random for fun. In reality he is one of the most gentle, sensitive, extremely intelligent and open-minded people I've ever met (not to mention a huge geek who abhors sports) and I know these comments hurt him. He gets really tired of people seeing "the big guy" before they see Walter.

The thing I love about him, though, is he's never felt the need to conform to other people's expectations. He has no problem with people knowing he loves comic conventions and cuddling and long walks in the park. Anyone who actually gets to know him usually immediately respects him, because that kind of honesty and open-heartedness just shuts down the haters.

I, on the other hand, am often considered rather "butch", as I am not especially expressive in my emotions and I don't enjoy "girly" things like shopping and spending a lot of time on my appearance. I am straight-forward, outspoken, I usually rise to the helm of any endeavor and I am not a taker of crap. I can stare down men three times my size and though I'm slight in stature there are few who would think to give me a hard time. It's a pretty common joke that I'm the one who wears the pants in my family. But does that make me feel un-feminine? Absolutely not. I am very in touch with my femininity. What I am not in touch with is the feminine stereotype.

I don't think what we are talking about here is masculinity and femininity, but the stereotypes that have been associated with them over the ages- stereotypes that are a far cry from the divine masculine and feminine we each carry within us. I think it's time to stop using such terms to define ourselves (I'm gonna go ahead and throw the terms "STS" and "STO" in here, too), instead listening to our hearts when it comes to deciding what is and is not of service. Everyone is equipped with the ability to tell within themselves when something feels right or wrong. And if that doesn't work, one only has to behold the results of their actions to gauge the level of service. The way you treat others will definitely affect how they react to you.

---

Gosh I talk a lot. I think I could have wrapped all that up with "Be yourself!"

Yes Lynn you are so right.

Even I fell into the norms of such by my own use of feminine and lady like to describe my wife. Even though those are proper descriptions of her, it does not mean to suggest that those are qualities that are meant to describe what a woman should or not have to be a perfect woman.

So it is difficult to avoid using such stereotyping in some cases because the very definitions that we attempt to apply stem from our own deeply rooted stereotypical upbringings and personal experiences.

I agree with you that we all come in many colors, shapes, and are attracted to many various aspects of human nature. None should be judged by any of these things as proper or improper. Personal taste, as is personal expression and personality, are very unique and individual.

I would rather go three rounds with your hubby than to get in the ring with you any day. At least the end would come quickly and painlessly.

[Brittany]

Aw, come on. I'm not that scary.

[Aaron]

Also, the reason spiritual masters aren't lively characters, I think, is because the ego isn't fed with validations from the outside world. If Lady Gaga suddenly was at one, at peace, with existence one day, would she keep showing up in meat dresses? NO.

I'm not calling into question your first point, but on the Lady Gaga thing: Are you SURE? What if that's her service?

(But that also doesn't mean that so called spiritual masters can't be lively and full of personality!)

[kdsii]

Haha, maybe it is, I wouldn't know. Just generalizing that if one's positive self image comes from external validations, this is fear living at the core. I'm guilty of this as well, many times.

I just imagine, if all material things were,*snap*, gone in an instant, all attachments severed, would I still be content? Could I adapt?
I get the feeling that the more ego-centered one is, the more one would be wrecked by this.
I agree that this is a ridiculous standard to hold oneself to, but it comes automatic to me, don't know why.

Also, the reason spiritual masters aren't lively characters, I think, is because the ego isn't fed with validations from the outside world. If Lady Gaga suddenly was at one, at peace, with existence one day, would she keep showing up in meat dresses? NO.

I'm not calling into question your first point, but on the Lady Gaga thing: Are you SURE? What if that's her service?

(But that also doesn't mean that so called spiritual masters can't be lively and full of personality!)