05-09-2015, 03:43 PM
(05-09-2015, 02:06 PM)Jade Wrote: Eating is so socially ingrained in us, and with so many people a mealtime is synonymous with family. It is no secret that today, for one to be completely vegan, they have to abstain from many of the normal eating celebrations/holidays/gathering we have with our family. This can cause unrest in the family unit. What do you mean, mom can't cook you her favorite meatloaf anymore? And grandma spent all day slaving over this roasted Thanksgiving turkey, you aren't even going to have a bite?
I simply can't fathom this attitude which has been expressed by so many here. Why?
1. I have been vegetarian since 1993 and have NEVER had this problem. Everyone understands though there is a lot of teasing about eating baby seals etc. (but so what?!). And I do not just associate with intelligent, progressive people.
2. By not standing in your own integrity, how is that serving anyone at all? Even poor ole grandma. It's been my experience that when I stand in my own integrity people actually like it. It's restful. Most people are lying to themselves and others all the time whether they know it or not. Is it better to lie and temporally avoid a confrontation? If I were to stand in my integrity AND judge those at Thanksgiving who are not following my example—that would cause harm, which is exactly why I don't eat the turkey in the first place. But to simply say no thank you to the meat and eat whatever you can is fine. There have been times I could only eat the bread or something. I still did so with ceremony and thanks of the gathering itself.
3. How on earth can anyone really tell me (assuming we are dealing with conscious, aware people) that grandma's feelings about her meal trump the vast suffering of meat animals to the point that a person with convictions about not eating meat would cave to save grandma's little hurt feelings? Sorry for the sarcasm, but it just slays me that anyone can believe this is valid. And let's not underestimate grandma, maybe she's not so self-centered and melodramatic as we want to think. Maybe she is capable of pouting a little but then realizing her granddaughter or grandson is someone who stands up for their decisions and convictions no matter how much familial pressure is applied.
4. Eating grandma's turkey, when one's convictions are otherwise, is the coward's way out. It would be better to admit this than pretend (consciously or not) that you are doing it for the family. Tell the truth to your family. It's better for everyone and everything. Not because what you think is good for you is right, but because truth matters (for so many reasons).