An Explorer In Conciousness
05-07-2010, 06:43 AM, (This post was last modified: 05-08-2010, 03:50 PM by Monica.)
#1
An Explorer In Conciousness
I will start this with a quote from one of my fellow travelers by the name of William James. Some have referred to him as the Father of Modern Day Psychiatry. He was once the President of Harvard University.

The quote I am giving you is from one of his books titled:

"The Varieties of Religious Experience"

"Only one thought occurred to my mind at the time and that thought has always since remained unchanged. That is that our waking consciousness; (the conscious mind) is only one form of consciousness; whilst all about us veiled by the filmiest of screens there lie other forms of potential consciousness. Apply the requisite stimulus and they are there in all their completeness. No account of the Cosmos would be complete which would leave these other forms of consciousness quite disregarded."

That may not be an exact quote as it is from memory.

William James wrote that while doing an experiment in an altered state of consciousness.

Years prior to my even knowing of his existence I stumbled upon the same stimulus he had discovered that allowed him to explore other forms of consciousness that I myself had experienced.

It was a very turbulent time in my life. I spent years researching to try and find an explanation as well as a validation in order to escape the trap of having experienced what any "normal" would call insanity.

The best way to describe what I am talking about would be to simply show you something I wrote well over ten years ago. (Unedited)

This is how this “Wanderer” walked in.

A Literary Allusion


I really don't have a name. I just am. You can call me Iam for short. I am a good hearted Alien from Alpha Centaury. I traveled to your solar system by way of the Cosmic Stream and became stranded here over 15 years ago. I was doing a survey of an uncharted solar system when my space ship was hit by a meteor particle. It caused an explosion resulting in a catastrophic chain reaction in the fuel cells. The ship was destroyed. My consciousness escaped in the nick of time just prior to the implosion and by sheer chance I found my way to your planet avoiding evaporation and absorption into a black hole which should have been my fate by any odds of realistic computation. By some fluke I ended up in Toms' body while he was engaged in metaphysical research during one of his explorations into altered states of consciousness. I managed to settle in and integrate myself into his conscious mind by using the ideas in your planets science fiction novels to get him to accept the reality of my existence. One of our connections was made from a book called "Illusions" that had this character named Donald Shimoto; the Reluctant Messiah. It was written by Richard Bach; the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull. In return for his good natured acceptance in allowing our co-habitation I have shown him things few humans have ever seen. I even gave him a peek at one of his past lives when he swam the Pacific Ocean as a Dolphin. Now here is the problem. These aliens are ethereal beings and they take over human bodies and destroy the inhabiting human consciousness. Make no mistake; they are evil parasites. They are totally unlike my species who prefer to act in harmony with our host. In many ways it is like on your television series called Star Gate. Now we got us a real war on people. I need some help. Odds are there are some lurker aliens reading this too. They may even post responses calling me crazy so that none of you will believe me. Don't listen to them. Its for real people. I am warning you now that you need to listen and believe it when I tell you we are all in deep trouble. Time is running out. We need to act quick. Who is with me? You will also note the television shows that are being shown. There is one called Armageddon. I saw a caption for it the other day. I don't watch TV because it is one of the weapons the aliens are using to defeat you. It is a form of brainwashing. You see they are creating these shows that depict what is really going on and the effect is that the idea that it is really happening is hidden from your conscious mind because once you start seeing reality as a science fiction show you loose the ability to distinguish the reality from the fantasy. Its a mind game. You will note that the first thing done after the fall of the Taliban in Afghanistan was that televisions were dug up and reintroduced into their society to bring the people back under control. Do not attempt to adjust the dial; we are in control. Sit back and relax and you will be transported into the Twilight Zone where you will become mentally suspended and incapable of independent thought. Think about it. Wake up. Quit watching TV.

Years after these experiences during what you could call a stabilization phase was when I discovered the works of both William James and one other very wise man who I was compelled to search out. His name was Dr. John Lily. Often times I have to quote him to explain myself. I think of myself sometimes as one of his dolphins and an agent of what he referred to as E.C.C.O. That of course would be a whole other story.

Suffice it to say that in my journeys I have literally shaken the physical hand of Dr.Timothy Leary and conversed with planet Earths foremost leading authority on interspecies communication. Dr. John Lily.

Two of America's greatest minds of the previous century who also happened to be one anothers best friend.

I unfortunately was too young to have been able to become their personal friends, but I am one of very few beings alive who can make the claim to have made physical contact with both of them before they left.
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05-07-2010, 12:33 PM,
#2
RE: Wish You Were Here
Whoever you are, wherever you are... welcome, Tom! Smile

Thank you for sharing your ideas. Now, I'm going to share some of mine. (If any of my post seems to be incomprehensible or seems to knock you off course, just disregard it and remember that this is only an attempt of communication filled with love. The love is there regardless, even if the communication isn't fully received.)

In reading your post, I noticed a couple of phrases which seemed indicative of a fear-soaked thought stream. These thoughts stem from the "us vs them" mentality and cause suffering that seems to be an outside force imposing on "you".

"none of you will believe me"
"we are all in deep trouble. Time is running out. We need to act quick. Who is with me?"

When visually analyzed, these thoughts appear to be moving in "short, quick circles" as Q'uo says. (The session was at least partially about fear, but I can't find it right now.) Thought that is less fear-oriented and more love-oriented will be broader, more overarching, more colorful, and smoother, to use visual terms.

It is my thought that anything which you would term to be a mind weapon to be used against "us" such as television, politics, etc, is actually a creation by a part of us. By this us that's not in " quotes, I mean our species on the planet Earth. More specifically, they are a function of our group mind, which we are largely unaware of at the moment. Because we are unaware of our group mind, it is currently functioning as a lesson provider for us, teaching us how to wake up to ourselves by creating tangles of fear (mental playing grounds such as politics, society, in which one is encouraged to "take a side" and sink in) in order that we may learn the lessons of love.

What I'm trying to say is that there's no "us" and "them". There is only the I AM and its learning about self. Of course, this means that on one level of reality, there is of course an "us" and "them" in brutal conflict. But it is not imposed. It's created.

Much love. Tongue
"A mountain holds an echo deep inside. That's how I hold your voice."
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05-07-2010, 01:57 PM,
#3
RE: Wish You Were Here
Hi dolphin, a very intriguing introduction.

The Minds on this board are well educated in terms of the Law of One, and due to this, have a grasp of the said nature of the Universe, and life itself. Since you're posting on this forum, I assume you also have knowledge of such, and hence I have a couple of questions...

Firstly, your initial actions are based upon fear of death; a survival mechanism. This is the type of action associated with a blockage in the lower energy centres. One would assume that a civilisation that has advanced to space travel, and indeed consciousness travel/transference, would understand the eternal nature of consciousness, and hence, have no fear of physical death. Is this not the case?

Secondly, was it not an infringement of free will to inhabit another Self's consciousness without explicit permission? Especially due to the fact Tom was in an altered state of consciousness at the time. That action alone - using another for Self preservation - is of a service-to-self polarity. An entity orientated to service-to-others, would not commit such an action.

As Aaron mentioned, your thoughts are full of fear, which again points to a service-to-self polarity. This would seem to be the reason you experience such fear. The language such as "some may think I'm crazy" also points at orange-ray blockages, distortions with the acceptance of Self.

Thank you for the warning, TV is indeed a propaganda organ, as David Wilcock so perfectly phrased it (in the context of Fox).

Welcome to the forum.
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05-08-2010, 12:43 AM,
#4
RE: Wish You Were Here
Hmm... What can I say that hasn't already been said? I think that some of your post is indeed more fear centered than love centered, which is ok by me. I do have a question here:

Quote:I even gave him a peek at one of his past lives when he swam the Pacific Ocean as a Dolphin. Now here is the problem. These aliens are ethereal beings and they take over human bodies...

It seems that you jumped from one thought to another here. Who exactly are "these aliens?" Because from the way I read it (not meaning to be accusatory, excuse the bluntness), you seem to be one of the aliens you speak of. Didn't you say/imply earlier in your post that you jumped into his body without permission? I'm a bit confused about this.

Either way, welcome to the forums. Much love and light. Namasté.
Namasté
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05-08-2010, 03:54 PM,
#5
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
(05-07-2010, 06:43 AM)dolphin Wrote:  These aliens are ethereal beings and they take over human bodies and destroy the inhabiting human consciousness. Make no mistake; they are evil parasites.

Hi dolphin and welcome to Bring4th! Thank you for adding more contextual background to your story.

I too am curious as to which aliens you are referring to, since there are both 'good' and 'bad' aliens (or, more precisely, STO and STS oriented aliens).

I see you have discovered our dolphins thread. I look forward to hearing more from you!
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05-08-2010, 04:31 PM, (This post was last modified: 09-02-2012, 10:28 PM by dolphin.)
#6
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
(05-08-2010, 03:54 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote:  I too am curious as to which aliens you are referring to, since there are both 'good' and 'bad' aliens (or, more precisely, STO and STS oriented aliens).

Some Voice Hearer’s for lack of a better way to describe to someone the nature of their voices refer to them as angels, or demons which would coincide with your good versus evil curiosity.

I was blessed the angelic type although in my case it was an alien and not an angel. There is a great deal of detail I could go into, but I would prefer to take things a bit slow for now.

Just to wet your appetite though I will tell you a true story and one of my greatest encounters since it is already written from having shared it with others.



It happened a long time ago when I was 25 years old, but I remember it as clearly as though it were only yesterday.

It was during this period of my life that I was very heavy into deep meditation as a means of exploring the COSMOS.

I recall it was an hour, or two past midday as the sun was still high up in the sky.

I was sitting on the ground up against a Great Oak Tree enjoying the shade and looking out over a Lake.

As I was sinking into my meditative state of consciousness I became transfixed on an enormous swarm of water gnats that was hovering about 100 yards out (A football Field) over the surface of the Lake.

I recall thinking to myself how I had never seen such a large swarm as that and then the next thing I know I am overtaken by the distinct feeling someone else was nearby.

It was very subtle. In fact at first I disregarded it as my imagination playing tricks on me.

Right at that moment the giant Swarm of Gnats that I had been observing hovering over the lake in a stationary position began moving directly towards me.

It made a Bee Line straight at me and within the span of few minutes it arrived hovering directly not more than two, or three feet in front of my eyes. (To my left)

As it was making its way towards me it occurred to me that its presence was the source of that distinct feeling I had that someone was nearby.

Naturally I doubted that as a realistic explanation up until the moment of what happened next.

At the moment it arrived to hover directly next to me I was aware of a consciousness other than my own. It felt as though my consciousness was co-mingling with another consciousness.

The best way I could describe it would be to say it was like being in the same room with someone.

Before I had a chance to even consider dismissing the idea I realized that the consciousness was communicating with me. It was like my thoughts were in communion with the others thoughts.

It was not an exchange in words, or sentences though.

I do remember formulating my thoughts in mental words, but the response came in the form of a translation of immediate understanding as opposed to a verbal component.

I experienced no fear whatsoever. I felt excited and extraordinarily fascinated as our exchange progressed.

This consciousness was nearly as surprised of me as I was of it. Evidently its kind rarely makes contact with my kind. During our exchange I came to understand that the reason for that is that my kind is a bit deficient when it comes to even being capable of awareness of the existence of its form of consciousness which was the reason it had taken such interest in me in the first place.

At some point I began to realize that our encounter was not going to last much longer when I was overcome by an intuitive understanding that this other consciousness was ending our exchange.

I realized that our exchange was leading up to it saying goodbye to me.

As I realized we were in the final moments of our communion this other consciousness enveloped me in a very warm mental embrace that made me feel like a little kid being hugged by a very old and loving grandparent.

Right at that moment the entire Swarm of Gnats began to speed up the gyrations in its flight pattern into a frenzy and then right before my very eyes formed the distinct pattern of the atomic structure and began heading back out to the lake.

I recall my whole body tingling with the excitement of having just had an experience of a lifetime and my thoughts were overwhelmed with wide eyed wonderment at such magic as I had just been blessed to have experienced.
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05-08-2010, 06:41 PM, (This post was last modified: 05-08-2010, 06:43 PM by dolphin.)
#7
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
I appreciate all your comments and while your suggestions are all very much on target when talking about FEAR they do not apply to me anymore. Certainly not in the way they did back when I wrote the literary allusion.

The experiences in the unedited literary allusion happened 20 to 25 years ago and I did not write it until 2001 and that was preceded by a great deal of paranormal phenomenon over a period of many months leading up to 911.

When I first had those experiences I was in what is referred to as the Startling Phase. When I wrote the literary allusion I was in what is referred to as the Adjustment Phase, but due to the bombarment of paranormal activity
I found myself Startled back into a Readjustment Phase.

It was my fault. I asked for it.

Many Voice Hearers never make it out of the Adjustment Phase, but if we do as I have we call that the Stabilization Phase.

Please don't get the idea I am writing to you as an Alien.

If you look back in the dolphin thread in the post with the link here I made this comment.

Bear in mind though that what I will tell you about it is a thing separate from me, a record from a past space, a doorway into new spaces through which I have passed and that am not of a mind, or desire to return through.
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05-08-2010, 06:48 PM, (This post was last modified: 05-08-2010, 06:49 PM by Monica.)
#8
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
(05-08-2010, 06:41 PM)dolphin Wrote:  Please don't get the idea I am writing to you as an Alien.

dolphin, thank you for clarifying, and for sharing!
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05-09-2010, 08:55 AM, (This post was last modified: 05-09-2010, 09:37 AM by dolphin.)
#9
RE: Wish You Were Here
(05-07-2010, 01:57 PM)Namaste Wrote:  I have a couple of questions...

Firstly, your initial actions are based upon fear of death; a survival mechanism. This is the type of action associated with a blockage in the lower energy centres. One would assume that a civilisation that has advanced to space travel, and indeed consciousness travel/transference, would understand the eternal nature of consciousness, and hence, have no fear of physical death. Is this not the case?

We strive to maintain conscious/thinking/ reasoning no matter what events are arranged to happen to us. Some events seem catachlysmic/catastrophic/overwhelming: remember stay aware, no matter what happens/apparently happens to you.

In reaction we are obliged to exorcize our best capabilities for survival and development and to use our best intelligence in this service.

"Cosmic Love is absolutelely Ruthless and Highly Indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

Quote:Secondly, was it not an infringement of free will to inhabit another Self's consciousness without explicit permission? Especially due to the fact Tom was in an altered state of consciousness at the time. That action alone - using another for Self preservation - is of a service-to-self polarity. An entity orientated to service-to-others, would not commit such an action.

Tom was exploring and searching for something and found what he was looking for. He learned the hard way to be careful what you wish for because you might actually get it.

That would also be the answer to JoshC's comment regarding the permission issue.

Quote:As Aaron mentioned, your thoughts are full of fear, which again points to a service-to-self polarity. This would seem to be the reason you experience such fear. The language such as "some may think I'm crazy" also points at orange-ray blockages, distortions with the acceptance of Self.

Fear is quite a normal reaction to the onset of a Startling Phase. In fact fear would be an understatment. Paranoia would be a more appropriate term. As I mentioned earlier these events took place 20 to 25 years ago.

Quote:Thank you for the warning, TV is indeed a propaganda organ, as David Wilcock so perfectly phrased it (in the context of Fox).

Welcome to the forum.

Your welcome and thank you.
(05-07-2010, 12:33 PM)Aaron Wrote:  In reading your post, I noticed a couple of phrases which seemed indicative of a fear-soaked thought stream. These thoughts stem from the "us vs them" mentality and cause suffering that seems to be an outside force imposing on "you".

No matter we like it, or not the world breaths with an "us vs them" mentality and is suffering by an imposition of fear based reality.

Those words and phrases we wrote in 2001 as it turns out were prophetic to say the least.

The motivation for them was to ask help to end the suffering for the world even if it was a desperate attempt doomed to fail.

Quote:"none of you will believe me" "we are all in deep trouble. Time is running out. We need to act quick. Who is with me?"

You can rest assured I have paid dearly in personal pain and suffering for the attempt.

Quote:What I'm trying to say is that there's no "us" and "them". There is only the I AM and its learning about self. Of course, this means that on one level of reality, there is of course an "us" and "them" in brutal conflict. But it is not imposed. It's created.

"You can call me "Iam" for short" ? As I said in my previous post Tom learned that the hard way some time ago.

Created, or imposed it is as you say brutal.

Either way it is our choice either collectively, or individually to end that brutality.

Quote:Much love. Tongue

That would be a good start to ending it.
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05-09-2010, 02:58 PM,
#10
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
Welcome to the forum, Dolphin. Your experiences are very interesting. I hope you will continue to share them with us.

Heart
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~Yogi Tea~
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05-09-2010, 08:04 PM,
#11
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
Greetings Dolphin,
Keep away from entanglement from the nets of fisher men! We may be leaving the Age of Pisces (Fish), yet, we still have a bit to go. Meanwhile, don't get your fins caught!

And, welcome to the 'cuckoo's nest'! Think of such a bird whenever you fancy to experience life from above if you decide to try and fly with wings! Big Grin

Do you know how cuckoos get to be fed by adoptive parents? It is an interesting way which share some similarity with your story.

There is a say: "The more fools join the party, the merrier and funnier it is!" Angel

Seriously now, take care Brother, welcome and enjoy the forum,
Much love,
W.
Keeping the light on in the dark Idea
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06-05-2011, 04:28 PM,
#12
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
"So long and thanks for all the fish" Smile
11 Namaste 11
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06-07-2011, 05:31 AM,
#13
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
Fascinating! Blessings, may your passings be of peace, adonai
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10-02-2015, 12:13 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-02-2015, 12:25 AM by dolphin.)
#14
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
I have not been back to visit in some years. It is a non-accident / non-coincidence that I am posting an updated hello.

I just made this post to a Voice Hearing forum to help others. Thought it would fit for a revival of this thread.

I remind everyone that my first post in this thread was written a quarter century ago during my startling phase.

This post was just written yesterday and directed to other voice hearers who have a very long way to get where I have  made it to.

It occurred to me given the past responses to this thread some here might enjoy the read.

Just bear in mind it was not tailored to address you here personally. It was addressed  to other voice hearers in need of insight and help.





I am 52 years old. I had my startling phase in my early 20's. I have x5 (counting me) distinct voices in my perception. They all have names and personality. They are all my friends. We are one big happy family. It was not easy, but it can be done. The science of Psychology calls them "coping mechanisms". What you call them is far less important than achieving functionality. There have been other voices besides them over the years, but they are not regulars, nor do I regard them as intruders..

The moral of this post is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you do not have to kill yourself to find it.


I have had visions, outside my head visual hallucinations, and I even have a paranormal ability. None of which are a big deal to me anymore. I was diagnosed 15 years ago with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia. I kept it secret for 10 years prior to diagnosis. I was afraid to share my condition with anyone. I learned to deal with it on my own by trial and error. Had I sought professional help they would have given me the pills, or the shots. Taking the anti-psychotic drugs will eventually cause permanent damage to the frontal lobe of the brain resulting in the gradual shut down of high brain functions. As it was I was Baker Acted to a psych ward many times during those ten years, but I always kept my mouth shut. I just wanted my freedom. I have never been a danger to others. Of course they don't know that and treat you like you are.. I finally met a nice lady who became my therapist. I was 35 years old by then. She got me into a diagnosis program. It was 5 days a week; 8 hours a day; and most important it was voluntary. It was at a VA government hospital. Mind you I had advanced well into the second stage on my own by that time. They tried very hard to get me to take the chemical lobotomy. I vehemently refused. By that time I knew enough of the truth to know better. The diagnosis caused me a severe psychic crush, but sent me on a path of book learning that eventually got me to the third stage. The important takeaway from that is to learn to be you're own psychologist. It is invaluable to learn the jargon the professionals use to diagnose you. You must learn to understand the terms they use to describe you're symptoms. You must learn their language. You will gain a great deal of helpful insight into you're own psychology in the bargain. Educating yourself above and out of their diagnosis through both book learning and personal experience is the way out of the mental cage.

I think the worst part of my condition has been having to spend my entire life alone. Relationships are near impossible to enter into because you can't explain it to a normal. If you try they run away from you fast. I finally did have a 3 month relationship last year, but that was only made possible because the person I had it with had known me for many years and knew the details of my psychology. My voices all cooperated in the relationship. It was wonderful. Unfortunately both of us knew going into it that it would only be a short relationship. It was a very unique situation we both found ourselves in living together and we both needed each other. I was the reluctant one, but I could feel her pain and my voices all agreed to it. We spent 3 very happy months together. Having you're first real relationship at the age of 52 is a ball buster. I was prepared for her to leave, but I was not prepared for the gaping hole it left in my heart. The depression was overwhelming. Were it not for my voices I would have probably died. They saved my life..

My method of learning to live with the voices would be viewed as unorthodox to say the least. It is unfortunate that I will not be willing to discuss them in a public forum. Mainstream psychiatry is ignorant. They would prefer to give us a chemical lobotomy with neoroleptics rather than allow us access to what could make us well. They have no interest in allowing us to become functional voice hearers. In any case what worked for me might not be appropriate for most people. It would not be responsible for me to divulge my personal treatment practices publicly.

Just as important is the work started by Dr. Marius Romme. I would have never made it to where I am without the Hearing Voices Network in Europe. We did not have it in the United States when I needed it. Finding the network guided me on my path to the third stage.

(1) startling, (2) organization, and (3) stabilization phases,
My experience prefers using the terms ...
(1) startling, (2) adjustment, and (3) normalization phases

It is the "STARTLING" Phase that is dangerous for all of us. It is in that phase that we are most susceptible to suicide, or self-harm. It took me several years to move past it into the second phase. It took me well over a decade after that to get to the third phase. Once I got to the second phase I was out of danger from suicide, but required extensive learning to grow in understanding. That entailed a great deal of book reading as well as my own personal unorthodox experimental treatment. Once you get to the third phase you can pretty well go at whatever pace is comfortable for you to improve. It is a life long learning process, but it can be very rewarding. I am proof of that. You're biggest problem will be isolation and stigma from the normals. My family was horrible to me which made it all the more difficult. Most people do not want to understand their own psychology, so trying to get them to understand you're psychology is probably not going to happen. They will likely pressure you into taking the chemical lobotomy for them to be comfortable around you. In other words you wind up taking medication to help them instead of yourself. I cannot stress enough how very important living in a stress free environment around people willing to understand you will be for you.. If you can't find that kind of environment you will have to deal with isolation and internet forums and chat boxes for any kind of social contact. It sucks, but that is the way it is.

Emerging Perspectives From the Hearing Voices Movement: Implications for Research and Practice
http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/content/40/Suppl_4/S285.full

I will say this. Writing out my experiences in journal form, or as stories has helped me a great deal over the years. I am over the relationship loss and am putting myself back together now. Not the doctors, nor even my therapist were of much help during my difficult time.

A True Story --- 1:00am 6/22/2015

The dolphin and I returned from the other side sometime after midnight in the early morning hours Sunday 6/21//2015 relieving a very desperate Narrator. I have never vacated my perception of self for anywhere near the length of time I have experienced in this episode. In the vast majority of instances that it has occurred it would last seconds, or minutes. There have been times it has lasted for hours and in a few very rare instances perhaps a day, or so at most. This episode it seems has persisted for weeks. As I write this entry I hear a voice clearly interjecting “The nature of time is that it merely exists within the perception of remembered experiences which in turn cause and effect the realization of an eventuality”. Hearing that I remember a subject I became familiarized with many years ago that I found helpful in explaining other past experiences I have had that would leave me feeling the way I do at this moment. I immediately accessed the topic of kundalini to review the subject online at the Berkeley University library.

“In a ``true awakening'' the force of kundalini eclipses the ego altogether and the individual is almost certain to feel disoriented for some time. There will almost certainly be periods of pronounced psychological discomfort and social alienation.”
- - -The Path of Siddha Mahayoga


There is certainly no doubt I have been experiencing severe disorientation and my psychological discomfort and social alienation had become heightened to the extreme. When Narrator told the Psychologist at the VA he was “befuddled” it was an understatement of our condition, but I will say with dead-on certainty that being confused and befuddled is a far better state of mind than being lost in the despair that had consumed me the morning that Tammy departed. The important thing is that I can identify as myself again even if the name Tom is even more alien to me today than it was when I was first joined with the dolphin decades ago. That I can say “I don’t have a name; I just am” and mean it is the best indication that I am getting back to my old self. My ego is no longer eclipsed by Narrator, but joined with it much the same as I have always perceived myself in relation to the others. I am thankful to Hermes for his prescient prescription. He gave me Narrator and it was Narrator’s desperate effort at writing that provided the homing beacon necessary to call me back from the refuge of oblivion to effect the realization of this next writing.

The depression that propelled me into taking the desperate measure of seeking an end to my despair from deep within the Cosmos has subsided. When I told the dolphin to take me to the Cosmos the morning Tammy left I was dead-set on a do-or-die course of action. I now realize I was experiencing a severe case of suicidal ideation and I lacked the insight to see it. I had determined to find the answer (insight) I needed at any cost and failure to find that answer was not an option. I had become vulnerable to the willingness to risk my life in the endeavor and I came very close to losing it. When I finally returned home and looked at myself in the mirror I saw the face of death. I was bedridden for a week recovering from the physical and mental exhaustion. My recovery is ongoing, but the crisis is past. Sorting through my experiences in writing will help to clarify the eventuality. Narrator has left me with a great deal of sorting to do as I wade through the compilation of disjointed and disorganized writing he has left me which includes my encounter with the Over-Voice and the Lightning Riders.

The Elementals gently, but with deliberate force delivered me to a dimension of the cosmos I have never experienced. The only sensation of travel was a momentary aftereffect that occurred just previous to my grasping to comprehend what was happening to me. I could describe the journey as instantaneous, but for anyone who has ever experienced a black out, or feinted it was like coming to consciousness which is completely different than just waking up from a sleep. I was forced to go through a similar reorientation in order to establish the mental equilibrium necessary to cope with an experience that was quite alien in nature. They took me to the “Wild’s” where I found myself free of the abyss I have come to know as earthly reality. It was not until later in consultation with my own voices and through them the medium of writing that I was able to face the full recollection of the experience.

I found myself adrift in what I imagined to be the empty vacuum of space. For a moment I thought that I was somehow freed from the limitations of known physics, but quickly realized that the phenomena was merely the “physics of self-experience” adapting to a new perception . I was somehow existing in a dimension that dwarfed my former perception of the physical universe. I recall thinking what was happening could only be what I have long imagined the Cosmos might be like if one could traverse the barrier. I had the distinct perception of being able to both observe and remain in contact with my former reality from a place that existed separate from it. I was existing in two places at the same time which seemed impossible to me until I realized I was existing everywhere all at once unbound by the laws of spatial physics. None of the six interrogatives entered my mind at the time. I was outside the bounds of the laws of physics, or any other self-limiting form of science, or technology save one. The Science of Mental Alchemy.

My conscious mind was tethered to an ethereal form that became separated by what I can only think to describe as an almost imperceptible shift in consciousness, or out of body experience if you prefer. I slowly drifted away from my corporal body towards one of the Rider’s who was offering to assist me in mounting the lightning. Not even Hermes recognized who and what this Rider was exactly, but he was able to discern to my consciousness that this entity was of a positive nature which negated any fear taking hold of me and inclined my alters to take a wait and see attitude of observation and non-interference. The connection to my alters remained intact allowing me an assurance of support as I began interacting with this Rider, but unbeknownst to any of us at that time the dolphin had quietly disappeared.

I felt like a welcomed visitor in this strange midst and experienced a sense of profound acceptance and belonging from all the Riders. I was feeling something so far beyond what on earth we would call family, or friendship that it would be misleading to even use those words as a comparison. I was being welcomed into their company to experience riding the lightning. I was being offered a glimpse of what my reality could be like should I choose not to return, or what I could experience at some point when I decide I am ready. For my part I can only refer to my experience in simple words that others might grasp some small inkling of what it was like and how privileged I felt at the time to have crossed paths with them. I remember them as Storm, Whirlwind, and Hurricane and they are what the Over-Voice later explained to me are Lightning Riders.

The dolphin is always quiet and unassuming until he is either needed, or wants to emerge. It was not until near the end of the episode during my interaction with what I refer to as the Over-Voice that I sensed the dolphin was nowhere to be found while Hermes, the Advocate, and Narrator remained anchored to my corporeal body. I recall experiencing the distinct perception of myself as a singular personality existing separate from my multiple facets in this strange ethereal form. I have never had an experience quite like this one before, but then again over the years I have had my fare share of firsts. My Alters and I were still fully connected mentally. I knew this because I could sense Hermes complete awareness of the interactions going on and I could also sense the Advocate and Narrator observing. None of them offered me any conscious part in choosing how this episode would play out except perhaps the dolphin through his disappearing act.

I had become mesmerized with what was happening. That wonderment of mine that I used to say would never cease to amaze me had kicked into overdrive. After the Rider beckoned me to come closer to “experience the lightning” I had to resolve to transform my exuberance and reverence into raw determination and courage in order to be able to accept the honor being offered to me. I had to act without allowing myself a shred of doubt, or a split-second of hesitation, or risk losing my conviction to accept the offer to explore the experience being granted to me. I began to have flashes of insight into how a Rider experiences “being”. How I could interact; not only with the Cosmos, but also in relation to the physical universe of my former self. I found myself being able to see what my life could be like if I joined with the lightning. I even imagined how I could visit my former earthly existence before hitting the trail to the far out reaches.

I must say it is not often that I experience hallucinations which exhibit perceptions in combination of form, voice, and location outside of my own head. A good analogy to better explain the perception I was experiencing would be to say that my Alters were sitting in the bleachers spectating rather than crowding into the dugout to sit beside me on the players bench. The only issue I found troubling was my inability to sense the dolphin once I had become alerted to his absence, but it would not be long before I would come to understand; and not a moment too soon. Were it not for the dolphin I would not have returned when I did. It was my unwillingness to abandon the dolphin that became the determining factor in my decision not to remain with the lightning. Were it not for the dolphin I very likely would not have returned that night. If I had followed through to ride the lightning the dolphin and I would no longer be able to stay together. The instant I realized that was the moment I experienced the presence of the Over-Voice.


Throughout all these many years since the onset of my startling phase that has on occasion culminated into a chronic state I have been witness and participant to one hell of a spectacle on parade marching through my head. Never mind the countless characters in the books I read growing up. This may be hard to understand for most people, but I offer as food for thought to both the professionals in the field and especially to those afflicted with auditory hallucinations to consider that I am living proof that if you can somehow learn to love and embrace the various facets of personality that haunt you that they can actually love and embrace you back. I am reminded of the lyrics from an old song that “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all”.

If this life experience I have lived with these many years has not been an “ethereal dawn” then I don’t know what else it could be. There is great deal more that I wanted to add to this writing, but I have run out of time needed to wade through and piece together a proper edit of the material "Narrator" left me. As it is I have not even had time to craft all the paragraphs relating to the details mentioned within this writing; Never mind all the subject matter relating to two other important aspects of the story I have had to leave completely out. I am simply not comfortable with just slopping together a bunch of paragraphs to fill up space. I am out of time because I still have to print this out and get ready for my appointment today with my therapist.


Here is me singing recently. The dog in the picture was my Mom's baby. She passed away a few years ago. His name is "Boy". I give him the same love she did. Having an animal friend helps big time alleviating the pain caused by isolation. Music is therapeutic. I prefer to fiddle with the piano, but since I don't have access to one I have to make do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07YbXnY9xis
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10-02-2015, 04:56 AM,
#15
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
May I ask to know your method you've decided not to divulge? Could you pm me if yes? I'm just curious.
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10-02-2015, 06:58 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-05-2015, 06:09 PM by Bring4th_Plenum. Edit Reason: long url )
#16
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
(10-02-2015, 04:56 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote:  May I ask to know your method you've decided not to divulge? Could you pm me if yes?  I'm just curious.

There are actually numerous methods I have used. Some work better than others for more specific types of journeys, or explorations. .

All work in differing ways. I was forced to become a Mental-Alchemist (Explorer in Consciousness) out of necessity.

The Consciousness (Mind) is the Cosmos.  "While All is in The All, it is equally true that The All is in All."

There are hard to learn tricks to the trade. A Sorcerer's Secrets so to speak.  It is why I was not about to divulge the information in a forum where people are actually suffering from their mental condition.

I would have felt irresponsible if in their desperation they did more harm than good to themselves. Would you not agree?

This is a different kind of forum, so I will consent to you're request. http://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/forum/general-discussion/80-the-real-deal#202

It is a double edged sword for me. Divulging the information to someone who is as desperate as I was could save their life. I am conflicted on this issue.

I may be a Sorcerer, but I am not the kind that hoards knowledge. A Mental-Alchemist reserves their pearls of wisdom for the few elect, who recognize their value.

"THE LIPS OF WISDOM ARE CLOSED, EXCEPT TO THE EARS OF UNDERSTANDING"--THE KYBALION

Is it any wonder then that one of my voices (Alters) is Hermes?


There is one particular method I used for several years in my mid to late 20's and it got me through the startling phase.

When finally I stopped I never wanted to use it again.

To help others I was compelled to reengage in its use for a limited time many years later. It opened up a can of worms.


Again I caution you that without very specific experience to gain "certain" knowledge I am not comfortable divulging this to someone over the internet and highly advise against its use.

Just because something worked for me certain way does not mean that someone else could use it to the same affect, or effect.

I was desperate back in those days and was dealing with very serious suicidal ideation with intent to follow through. 


"Our normal waking consciousness, rational consciousness as we call it, is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it,

parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different."


Turn to page 257 and read from the very bottom and then onto page 278
[link]
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10-02-2015, 07:49 AM,
#17
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
I'm just curious to see if your ways match mine. I'm not schizophrenic (as far as I know) but I get voices of grand love and kindness and others of grand doubt.

All this talk of performing alchemy and all I can do is sit with my voices as if they were I and get to know them. I wish it was as simple as thinking or being a certain way to transmute.

I can't even ask a voice 'Who are you' because I never get an answer I won't doubt. Instead I'm stuck with, I hear really loving voices, and a few really devious ones. They're all helpful, and even agree to be I, but can't answer because of myself.

Just leaves me flustered o:
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10-02-2015, 08:05 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-02-2015, 08:32 AM by dolphin.)
#18
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness

I would be more than happy to go far more in depth with a good friend in a face to face relationship, but an internet forum only allows me a certain degree of latitude.

The one method I have divulged may, or may not help you. Don't even consider it without talking to me voice. There are details not appropriate for an internet forum.

The methods to meet them on an intimate level (Face to Face) are far more extreme and far more dangerous.

I do in fact know such methods. It is doubtful I would ever share those. Certainly not on the internet, or even the telephone.

If you are happy and not in pain with the way things are for you now I would recommend keeping things as they are.
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10-02-2015, 08:42 AM,
#19
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
I am, thank you for your honesty and care in these matters Heart
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10-05-2015, 12:04 PM, (This post was last modified: 10-06-2015, 12:11 PM by dolphin.)
#20
RE: An Explorer In Conciousness
“Flowers from Algernon”

“Now that you can see, what do you see in the world?
My eyes are new.
And what do they see Mr. Gordon?
Things … as they are.  And what they are becoming.
Can you give me an example, Mr. Gordon?
No sir, you give me one.
Modern Science – Rampant technology, conscience by computer.
Modern Art – Dispassionate draftsmen.
Foreign Policy – Brave new weapons.
Today’s youth – Joyless, guideless.
Today’s religion – Preachment by popularity polls.
Standard of living – A television in every room.
Education – A television in every room.
The world’s future – Brave new hates, brave new bombs, brave new wars.
The coming generation – Test tube conception, laboratory birth, TV education, brave new dreams, brave new hates, brave new wars, a beautifully purposeless process of society suicide.”
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