Spiritual Pain - Advice?

[Henosis]

I haven't posted here before and moreoften than not I have too much pride to ask for help, or don't trust the judgment of those who are willing to listen. I generally call on my Higher Self for wisdom and understanding but I feel my connection is clouded.

I'm emotionally unstable. I never was before, but I am now. In order to better understand the world and its conditions, I thought it would be wise to strive to understand the STS mentality. I've come across certain philosophy, such as the The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, that give great insight into this perspective and the current woes of the world.

However, it has made me bitter. It consumes my thoughts. I know deep down that all entities are other selves and I truly do Love them, but I feel this disappointment with them and anger toward STS entities. It upsets me and hurts my heart so deeply that my fellow brothers and sisters, my biological family as well as every person I know is being manipulated and enslaved without their knowledge by mainstream media and news. I find it unfair and such a cowardly act of psychological warfare.

To watch those I love, such as my selfless and loving biological mother, being brainwashed and manipulated day in and day out, spending her days in worry about nonsense is unbelievably painful. I just want it to stop. I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel this endless pain and this unbearable loneliness anymore. My soul yearns to help others. To teach unity and truth and to be of service.

I wish to support the upcoming harvest, but it seems there are few to harvest?

Is this a second chakra issue? Perhaps an overactive fourth chakra? Any advice

Off topic but perhaps useful:
My Higher Self told me the harvest is a seven year cycle that occurs at the end of a precession cycle of 25,000 years or so, with each year of the final seven year cycle corresponding to a chakra. It told me this cycle began three years ago (Comet I-SON), and in the middle of the fourth year (the middle of the heart), the STS entities are going to implement their long standing plan and final act of deception, causing chaos yet giving STO entities many catalysts to express their Violet Ray Selfhood. In this system, this year would correspond to the Heart.

[Plenum]

Hi Henosis.  

I can only speak in general here, as each person's situation is unique, even though you've shared some of your basic physical circumstances.

I would say, in the general case, that a lot of spiritual pain comes from not being able to fulfill our Deepest Calling ... whatever that may be.  At the end of the day, the physical vehicle is just an instrument, or 'outreach' into this 3d plane, and the mind is the means by which we actuate and experience our Feedback.

At the deepest level, though, is that of the Spirit, which chose (and planned) an Incarnation, because it desired to have certain experiences.  If those are able to be 'fulfilled', then everything else, it seems, can be 'tolerated' and accepted, even though difficult.

But without being able to both 'hear', as well as 'experience' what our Deepest Callings are (from the spirit realm), results in that dissonance and experiential/existential suffering.

/ /

so as to your specific situation, it seems like you've studied (and comprehend) the negative motivations.  And you also desire to experience your positive motivations.  But at the end of the day, how exactly are those going to play out?

We all have a unique service, and when we are able to be in alignment with those spiritual callings, and fulfill them, I think the kind of pain that you are describing won't be as evident.

Plenum

[Highrculling]

Hi there,

1. STO/STS both good, as long as the love is genuine. Gotta respect that. Anger is a bit uncalled for.
2. We can't 'solve the problem' by becoming another expression of 'the problem'.
3. 'Harvest' is supposed to be spontaneous, many are simply not quite there yet. "To count is without virtue."

/[I am Oxal]We are sad because we are very sorry to see people as miserable as are yours. It is not necessary, my friends, to be miserable. It is necessary only to be extremely ecstatic at all times, for this is the way that our Creator intended it. When it is understood that all things are one and it is impossible to serve anything without serving yourself, then the state of ecstasy that I spoke of becomes reality./

So try to cheer up, please

[smc]

the words I received during reading your post are:

"volunteer in a soup kitchen" (or similar)

I also received the thought/s:

"the more you find this suggestion inappropriate, the more it may be useful to either; do it - or look at why you don't want to do it"

[SeekOne]

Hi Henosis,

I hear/feel you. I would like to acknowledge/appreciate your courage/strength and desire to be of service. This certainly isn't an easy ''trip''. Through continued perseverance, spiritual practice and by simply ''showing up''.... the suffering does lessen.

As nebulous a concept as it may seem, to bring one into equilibrium is of greatest service to all. One must feel it to heal it. The ones who feel the most may heal the most.

Blessings on your journey

[Turtle]

I just want it to stop. I don't know what to do.

Do what makes you happy, and discipline your mind.