Where is the clarity? Clarity? Clarity? Clarity? Clarity? Clarity?

[sjel]

No lucidity of mind in all my life, only confusion. Every single train of existence goes into confusion. I'm missing something. Where is the clarity? I have only seen confusion. It feels like a bunch of entities who know me very well are playing with my life. When I close my eyes I always see a bunch of them laughing and not looking me in the eyes, but always doing something to my spirit or body, something.

Yes, I realize I periodically post something like this. However during the times that I interact 'normally,' during those times I am always acting. This acknowledgement of confusion is the closest I can ever get to lucidity. I feel as if I am falling forward continuously.

I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS feel as if there is a smiling, laughing enlightened entity, just out of reach, refusing to look me in the eyes, but always paying attention to me. Exactly this. He or they run around, always enlightened, always laughing at the joy of existence, but NEVER looking me in the eyes. Even those people in real life that I look in the eyes, they do not LOOK ME IN THE EYES, the DEEP LOOKING.

I feel I have never known clarity. I am somewhat distressed right now, but not in the way I usually am when posting these things.

I FEEL AS IF THE UNIVERSE IS LAUGHING AT ME! Really, I feel this very often, it must be self-created? The enlightened beings who guide me in my pursuits and interact with my thoughts for inspiration, it feels as if I am separate from them, very separate, yet they laugh away, laugh, laugh, laugh! They are just so happy and joyful at existence, the sheer joy of existence! They are so separate from me! They laugh behind my eyelids, doing their spiritual work on me, but never talking to me! Always hush hush, rush rush! What's the fucking deal with that!

It feels like a joke I'm not in on! Everyone is laughing! Everything is joyful! Everything is sheer joy! All of that which knows this truth does not touch me! Everything I have written may as well be deleted!

Where is the emotion, the true emotion! Why is it hidden behind this glass sheet! in plain view but untouchable! I see it! I see it! But I cannot touch it! I see it! I see the joy in these entities, but cannot touch it! I am not allowed to touch it! Why!

[AnthroHeart]

I would try to learn lucid dreaming. If you can be lucid, you can have clarity.

I don't think in this life, in this dimension, with such a thick veil, we are supposed to be clear. Answers come when we pass onto the next dimension/density. There we will have many thousands of years of clarity.

Would you want to see the truth of reality if you could? It can drive people mad. Or at least overwhelm them.

[Verum Occultum]

All of these things are within you. Seek relentlessly. You are always creating things yourself. What are you creating and why? Your most important relationship is the one you have with the Creator, because you are the Creator. The One. What do you believe? Why? Can you change that? Do you want to change that? How far will you go to change that? How deep will you penetrate to meet your Creator face to face?

[smc]

are you giving yourself enough time to integrate what you experience via rec drugs?

or do you continue pursuing further 'experiences' - and do this over and over?

confusion, disassociation, absence of clarity; may be occurring because you're constantly taking paths away from yourself/self knowledge

get your personal independent autonomous 'house' built; water your 'garden', provide clean fuel for and make any needed repairs on your physical/emotional/spiritual 'vehicles'

don't travel when you are too tired, lack supplies, have lost your map (or never had one) and the region is dangerous



remember - where ever you go

there you are

[rva_jeremy]

If I were you I would give up on finding clarity. What if you embrace the feeling you're describing and follow that? What, in other words, is really so unacceptable about not being comfortable? You can't get clarity until you've experienced its opposite.

I haven't cracked this either, but it seems to me that if you're going to feel this pain that you at least use it effectively!

[Stranger]

No lucidity of mind in all my life, only confusion. Every single train of existence goes into confusion. I'm missing something. Where is the clarity? I have only seen confusion. It feels like a bunch of entities who know me very well are playing with my life. When I close my eyes I always see a bunch of them laughing and not looking me in the eyes, but always doing something to my spirit or body, something.

Everything that stands between you and the state of being you wish to have *is inside you*.  That is true for all of us.  Without our inner distortions and damaged parts, we can relate to all that is with inner centeredness, stability and peace. 

Whatever stands between you and happiness is a distorted part of you.  Very likely, many different parts.  You can identify them and heal them.  They are healed with love (compassion, tenderness, etc.) - the emotion - which is a real thing; when you feel compassion and tenderness toward a distressed part of yourself, you are actually feeding it that energy, which provides it with the nourishment it needs to heal and release the negative emotions it holds.  It is these emotions that produce distress in you.

As a good first step, see what happens when you meditate, and while meditating find these laughing entities and love them.  Reach out to them with your heart and pure kindness, asking for nothing and attempting to change nothing.  Just love them for a few minutes, and let us know what comes up.

[Stranger]

Here's another suggestion, a bit quicker - in meditation, focus on our Father, the Logos. Set aside any fears or worries or concerns, beliefs of unworthiness or doubts. He is your Dad and he loves you unconditionally, and that is the truth. So reach out to him with the Love that's inside you. That completes a circuit, but more importantly creates a heart-to-heart, love-to-love, person-to-person connection between you and the source of all that's good and kind and true.

The more we reach out toward the highest energies in the Universe with our hearts and minds, the more we are able to partake of those energies and heal.

[anagogy]

I feel I have never known clarity. I am somewhat distressed right now, but not in the way I usually am when posting these things.

You have but when you are in a state of confusion, it is difficult to remember when you knew clarity. Two completely different vibrations. The more in alignment with one, the less you are in alignment with the other.

Confusion is an act too.

It is hard to understand it now, but you will appreciate this 'confusion' when your incarnation is over with. This confusion potentiates spiritual progress.

There is always a give and take. You don't get something for nothing in energy terms. Everything is 'bought' with a price commensurate with its purity. What you lost in understanding, you gain in actions that potentiate your consciousness spiritually. The confusion is giving 'weight' to your moral choices in this density (in the darkness, with a tiny candle, you may correct present imbalances). In time/space, you know how to act, but there is no weight to it. It is like playing poker where everybody knows each others hands. Completely pointless.

That enlightened being just out of reach you perceive isn't laughing at you, it is laughing with you, and it is extremely proud of your progress. It knows what it is like to stumble around in the darkness. But it also knows that you will be extremely glad you did when it is all over and done with.

Imagine a world of brilliant movie-makers but where there are no surprises because you instantly know how it all turns out. Completely pointless.

That isn't precisely how it works, but perhaps it can provide a brief glimmer of the value of 'confusion'. Even confusion can be beautiful.

[rva_jeremy]

Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.

― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

[Minyatur]

I think it's really just your own judgment you are facing and it is possible these astral friends simply offer the mirror of what stimulates your own judgment of yourself. They laugh whilst avoiding your eyes because that is what you, yourself, do need at the moment and I wouldn't doubt they eagerly await the moment which they will be allowed to stop honoring your confusion and instead share the feelings of their heart.

So where is clarity? Well it's actually quite simple, the highest levels of clarity are found in what holds reality together and attunement to these aspects will provide insights of clarity into these various dimensions. Sincerity is key to the seeker and unity could then be seen as the highest sense of clarity in which no disharmony can be seen, nor can a thing be seen as either lesser or greater than another. Unity is absolute awareness and subjective awareness then has to seek this perception within each moment through faith that it is the truth that binds it all together.

If you want clarity in regard to yourself, your worth and place within the All. You might only find this upon touching your highest self. This is probably the kind of clarity you are looking for, a kind for which it'd make no sense for you to doubt later on because you've had a true feeling and perception of yourself as the Creator which might instead make your entire life here what is not much real or even just a tiny small aspect of your truer self. The ego and past wounds one identifies with would hinder this process of attuning with the core of your own self but so long you seek this and work with yourself, you will find yourself.

I know the idea that confusion is supreme to be somewhat popular, but there is most definitely a view of clarity which is not stuck in the distress of confusion. We all have our own potentials to reach this state and I think a good step toward it is acknowledgement that the sole thing creating walls in-between you and what you desire is conscious or unconscious resistance. The unconscious mind is quite deep and working solely with the conscious mind could be seen as akin to working with insincere emotions, contradicting thoughts, delusions, etc. Only by making the unconscious conscious can one attain clarity and this holds true both for a perception of yourself or a perception of the dimensions you exist within. Seriously if you knew how deeply both your conscious and unconscious desires are ever taken into account, you'd probably get a feeling of how the Universe truly ever is perfectly wonderful in all that unfolds.

Acknowledgement that you are exactly where you desire and that the entirety of catalysts always served to fufill your own very desires is key also, if you want to cling to a perception of otherwise then you will remain stuck in this hurtful perception. There is a time in which we thank and ask forgiveness for those who have hurt us because we see the need we had of it just as the state they required to be in to provide this service you required.

---

tldr; Unity is truth, distill your beliefs and emotions of non-unity to free yourself of the bound of falsity.

[Night Owl]

Inside the realm of duality I think most things like clarity or any X Y Z emotions or state is the result of how it is either radiated or aborbed. If you feel like the external isn't clear enough, perhaps wondering how you radiate your own clarity might help. You see, most things in the external appear as a balance to what happens in the inside. Maybe that is the result of not being clear enough with yourself about what you love, fear, feel, think, desire etc etc. There is no godly presence which can make that for you. However the realm of duality provides a fantastic tool of reflection in order for you to discover what you do not know about yourself. By being curious and seeking yourself out there you can eventually answer these questions. But you must radiate a clarity of will and intention, a purity if you want, in order for the reflection to be as clear as you desire. That in itself is a long and hard process. The purity may be shaped by your hard work.

I definitely understand what it feels like to never feel like you can reach it, like the feeling of joy is ever bound by seperation with you. However it brings peace within me to understand that this joy feels so external because I actually need it to be. I have always had a hard time to find it within and so by being external it easier to perceive, it is easier to identify, to study, to contemplate. And for that we must be grateful. Be grateful for every bits of external joy that pass by which you can taste and just try to keep a little bit for yourself. Just a tiny bit will do.

It is not required nor does it serve you to just pretend to have the biggest of smiles if you don't contain it within. Forcing yourself to be happy when you're not is sure to make you as confused as possible. There is in this relationship a lack of clariry between wanting to be happy and the desire to understand a part of you that is not happy. I have tried it recently actually, and I was as confused as you are. However if you can be at peace with the relation you have with joy, with the reasons you need it to be so external, then you can start to shift things around, getting closer to it. There's no need to fight it. Things move naturally. Let what is within you just be. Whatever that is. Peacefully.

If you focus on the lack of joy, there is nothing that will bring you further from it. Instead seek how to accept and understand the seperation with joy rather than force your way inside joy. Joy is a vibration. It will not penetrate your bubble as long as you radiate lower frequecies toward it. It is a relationship. To absorb joy, you must radiate a sufficient amount of positivity. It all starts within. And every external things can help you understand and perfect your relationship with what is within.

[GentleReckoning]

So having been in the exact same situation, the only thing I can say is: Best of luck. It's really frustrating to be making all the 'right moves' so to speak and have reality basically constantly beat you up for it.

I stuck to my values, and who I believe I am as a person. Eventually I came out on top.

Best of luck...

[APeacefulWarrior]

Have you considered that rather than laughing at you, they're instead trying to encourage you to laugh with them?

This is actually something that happens in some Asian Buddhist countries, where the culture is more collectivist in the sense that people are encouraged to 'go along with the crowd' unless they have good reason to do otherwise. If a person trips and falls without doing actual damage, the people around them might laugh a bit. It's not mean-spirited, it's intended to encourage that person to laugh as well. After all, pratfalls are funny. And if someone can laugh off such a minor incident without getting upset, then that means they're maintaining a positive attitude rather than spreading negative feelings. Which is considered a sign of good character and spiritual development.

Or, on a more personal note, this is something that often happens when my own closest guide comes to me. She will laugh, and we will laugh together. Not AT anything. Just laughing for the joy of laughing. Because those watching us on the other side know that this is often a realm of sorrow where it's all too easy to get downhearted. Laughter is -along with love- one of the few antidotes to that sorrow, so to speak, which is readily available on this side of the veil.

So basically, the next time you hear your guides laughing, just laugh with them and see what happens. Even if it feels a bit forced at first. You might be surprised at the results.