04-07-2018, 01:32 AM
I have been considering whether or not real life is more like a dream than I'd like to admit.
How I currently understand what my situation is here is a such:
As the writer of this message, I'm simply the conscious side, or the tip of an icberg in terms of identity. One that in full fails to be described with labels or words. This situation is not unique, as I understand it; and everyone in this life is in a very similar circumstance.
And in other places and times in this infinite creation, there are many more entities with similar circumstances. I am writing from memory, so if I say this incorrectly, I apologize... But I believe I read Ra saying something on the lines of: This Earth is quite difficult even among most other physical realities, and the connection between the conscious driver of the physical vessel is much more unaware/detached from the rest of it's being than in most other physical realties.
I was thinking about this and a strange occurrence I have been experiencing lately.
It will be difficult to describe... But it's a similar feeling to de ja Vu, but instead it's where I could have sworn the current event played out differently than what just happened... And that in actuality, reality was flipped from one state into another: where the event that just took place happened differently.
For example, I somehow manage to park my car without hitting a wall when I should have been paying more attention, but wasn't. In this case, I get a feeling that my car was closer to the wall before, but now it's been rewritten to be just far enough to not hit the wall. When I clearly wasn't paying enough attention, it ends up not being a big deal...
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What if instead of being certain about an event because it definitely took place, I instead float from situation to situation with only the certainties I'm afforded to have at that moment? These confidences are not necessarily something i am certain I had the entire time, but rather they are fuzzier in truth, and just something of a crutch I simply use to avoid something more uncomfortable: perhaps everything happens all the time in ways that are impossible to describe... Yet the reality I accept is simply one I can allow myself to relate to... Be that as I have a logical reason for this or that to happen, or a motive, or a confidence in rules that the universe should follow.
But maybe reality is more like a shared dream, where if I'm digging in a hay stack, looking for a needle, statistically it is a very low chance I will find it. With determination, that chance increases, and I could possibly find it more readily when the grand plan requires it to be found.
Perhaps when digging for the needle, instead of actually seeing my fingers sifting through hay but not finding the needle, instead my fingers are what I see (because I expect to see them), and hay is felt and seen because this is also the more affordable confidence in what could be happening. And a needle will be easier to spot and find when I expect to find it, by imagining the chain of events that lead to it being found. When I feel around for the needle, perhaps the infinite possible events are more like white noise. Spikes and pricks could be interpreted as hay or needles. The sharpness might lead me to be surprised and eventually realize I could have felt the needle, or I can assume that it's still more hay, in case finding it so early or often is too difficult to bare in my confidence of what is real.
Looking back on a less favorable chain of events, in retrospect I usually discover it was just what I needed. Instead of feeling impatient and lamenting the timing of an event that took place... Instead I sometimes realize that if it were to have happened more like what I'd preferred it would actually have disturbed me at a fundamental level.
For example, I would like to witness a miracle, but I don't always realize how scary and Earth shattering they are. To have my world turned completely upside down may not be worth the experience...
But lately I've been noticing that even impressionable events that I witness with my own eyes, and feel with my own hands, are actually just as fuzzy as a memory a second later... Or maybe a whole day later. And what's stopping me from assuming my memories aren't just the most comfortable assumptions of what to make of this infinity?
How I currently understand what my situation is here is a such:
As the writer of this message, I'm simply the conscious side, or the tip of an icberg in terms of identity. One that in full fails to be described with labels or words. This situation is not unique, as I understand it; and everyone in this life is in a very similar circumstance.
And in other places and times in this infinite creation, there are many more entities with similar circumstances. I am writing from memory, so if I say this incorrectly, I apologize... But I believe I read Ra saying something on the lines of: This Earth is quite difficult even among most other physical realities, and the connection between the conscious driver of the physical vessel is much more unaware/detached from the rest of it's being than in most other physical realties.
I was thinking about this and a strange occurrence I have been experiencing lately.
It will be difficult to describe... But it's a similar feeling to de ja Vu, but instead it's where I could have sworn the current event played out differently than what just happened... And that in actuality, reality was flipped from one state into another: where the event that just took place happened differently.
For example, I somehow manage to park my car without hitting a wall when I should have been paying more attention, but wasn't. In this case, I get a feeling that my car was closer to the wall before, but now it's been rewritten to be just far enough to not hit the wall. When I clearly wasn't paying enough attention, it ends up not being a big deal...
-------------------------
What if instead of being certain about an event because it definitely took place, I instead float from situation to situation with only the certainties I'm afforded to have at that moment? These confidences are not necessarily something i am certain I had the entire time, but rather they are fuzzier in truth, and just something of a crutch I simply use to avoid something more uncomfortable: perhaps everything happens all the time in ways that are impossible to describe... Yet the reality I accept is simply one I can allow myself to relate to... Be that as I have a logical reason for this or that to happen, or a motive, or a confidence in rules that the universe should follow.
But maybe reality is more like a shared dream, where if I'm digging in a hay stack, looking for a needle, statistically it is a very low chance I will find it. With determination, that chance increases, and I could possibly find it more readily when the grand plan requires it to be found.
Perhaps when digging for the needle, instead of actually seeing my fingers sifting through hay but not finding the needle, instead my fingers are what I see (because I expect to see them), and hay is felt and seen because this is also the more affordable confidence in what could be happening. And a needle will be easier to spot and find when I expect to find it, by imagining the chain of events that lead to it being found. When I feel around for the needle, perhaps the infinite possible events are more like white noise. Spikes and pricks could be interpreted as hay or needles. The sharpness might lead me to be surprised and eventually realize I could have felt the needle, or I can assume that it's still more hay, in case finding it so early or often is too difficult to bare in my confidence of what is real.
Looking back on a less favorable chain of events, in retrospect I usually discover it was just what I needed. Instead of feeling impatient and lamenting the timing of an event that took place... Instead I sometimes realize that if it were to have happened more like what I'd preferred it would actually have disturbed me at a fundamental level.
For example, I would like to witness a miracle, but I don't always realize how scary and Earth shattering they are. To have my world turned completely upside down may not be worth the experience...
But lately I've been noticing that even impressionable events that I witness with my own eyes, and feel with my own hands, are actually just as fuzzy as a memory a second later... Or maybe a whole day later. And what's stopping me from assuming my memories aren't just the most comfortable assumptions of what to make of this infinity?