Empathy
10-30-2019, 09:36 AM,
#1
Empathy
How do I stop being overwhelmed with the problems of others?

I find it difficult to tend to my own needs and life in general.

also they may continue to not help themselves
So there's also some frustration/anger for me to deal with.

I want to do so many things. but I'm distracted and overwhelmed.
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10-30-2019, 09:45 AM,
#2
RE: Empathy
I visualize a bubble of white light that blocks me from outside energies.
You can ask your guides/angels/whoever to put it up for you if you don't know how.
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10-30-2019, 11:10 AM,
#3
RE: Empathy
Empathy is beautiful and can be balanced with respect. Respect your limitations, respect the life path of others, respect the challenges set out for them. Empathy need not be acted out. You may simply stay present, take a few moments in silent solidarity, and rejoice in the beauty of your soul that is able to feel so deeply. Smile

Take care in this important balancing work.
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10-30-2019, 11:37 AM,
#4
RE: Empathy
(10-30-2019, 09:36 AM)Cainite Wrote:  How do I stop being overwhelmed with the problems of others?

I find it difficult to tend to my own needs and life in general.

also they may continue to not help themselves
So there's also some frustration/anger for me to deal with.

I want to do so many things. but I'm distracted and overwhelmed.

I hear you. This is what I do:

1. Unplug from the media. You won't be bombarded with all the suffering/problems in the world (to say nothing of the sensationalism and hyperbole) 24/7.

2. Have things to focus on. In my case, it's my work, and I also have creative pursuits. The things you want to do are important. Ultimately, they are your gifts to the world. So make a plan on how to start executing those things. For example, if you want to do photography, start by building a website so you can share your art with the world. 

But, it's more than that. Organizing your life effectively involves accepting necessary tasks, and executing goals and honoring them. It's an attitude. My attitude is to do everything in my life to the best of my ability. Even cleaning a house. That may sound exhausting, but it isn't. The truth is, when we go around doing things "we have to do," and unconsciously resenting it, that is more exhausting than accepting the task and doing your best at it. Here is a very short article that may inspire:

http://warriorspirit.net/what-is-a-warrior-spirit/

3. Commune with nature. This is very important, even if it is only going outdoors and looking at the sky.

4. Practice will power. Decide what you want to do in life, and keep coming back to that like a mission statement. 

5. Learn how to say "no." This is important. It's not a simple issue. The responsibility to manage your own boundaries is only on you. And if you don't manage your own boundaries, you will resent (not meaning to) the things that you really don't want to do, or that mess up the time you should be spending on your own stuff. Now there is resentment and possibly guilt for the resentment and it snowballs from there. Here is an exercise from a book I wrote about boundaries:

Quote:If you have trouble saying no, try this:

For one week, say no to everything (within reason). You can use the excuse that you are doing an exercise, if this is too uncomfortable. Blame it on a book you’re reading (this one!). The point of this exercise is to experience how it feels. By saying “no,” you will feel the relief from certain things you really did not want, or have the time, to do. This will jumpstart your ability to make good time-management decisions without emotional responses.

6. Make sure to exercise. Continual low-key stress causes a constant fight-or-flight response in the body. It's important to process the chemicals released from the stress, which is normally done with movement (running from a predator or fighting for survival).

7. Develop detachment. If you do help someone, practice letting your help completely go. See your help as a gift which is given freely with no thought of return, or even acknowledgment. That way whatever the person does with your help, such as ignore it, it won't affect you. 

I don't mean to make any of this sound easy. Just take small steps toward what you want your life to be. It's not selfish to do this. It is very challenging being empathic in this suffering world. It's so easy to get out of balance, because the suffering overwhelms and pulls us into focusing on it. The truth is there is also a lot of beauty in this world. That's why the focus is so important. If you can stay focused on yourself and your goals, helping where it's appropriate and not being attached to an outcome of that help, I don't say it will be easier, but you will feel better about it all.
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10-30-2019, 03:36 PM,
#5
RE: Empathy
I would recommend grounding.

I was having similar problems with being too empathic and sensitive to energy. I realised that my third eye was too open and I was holding too much energy in my head whilst meditating. I was also connecting and using crystals too much and doing too much concentration type meditation. I calmed these things down and my experience got a lot better.
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10-31-2019, 03:04 AM,
#6
RE: Empathy
Thanks everyone Heart

(10-30-2019, 11:37 AM)Diana Wrote:  4. Practice will power. Decide what you want to do in life, and keep coming back to that like a mission statement. 

I've begun trying to do that. it's time for me to push through even though that's against my philosophy of living and doing things.
So I wrote down all these things and was able to do 3 of them.

Quote:2. Have things to focus on. In my case, it's my work, and I also have creative pursuits. The things you want to do are important. Ultimately, they are your gifts to the world. So make a plan on how to start executing those things. For example, if you want to do photography, start by building a website so you can share your art with the world.

Family members can really mess with a sensitive person's focus when they get in trouble a lot, or are in unhealthy relationships.

One other obstacle is self censor. this really sucks.

And saying 'no' was difficult too. so for that I now rely on the integrated shadow self. shadow self is powerful as long as we're friends and I don't reject it
_______________________________________
You probably shouldn't read the rest of the post

Once I saw a girl who was the victim of an acid attack or sth. then I found out she killed herself. as soon as I saw her I was taken to this deep dark place where she had been dwelling. her passing lessened the suffering I felt for her. I could finally stop thinking about her. I got this image that she jumped out
pain like that is not very common even though it exists. most people who suffer or cause suffering have orange ray problems.
I think self worth is the medicine that's most needed. I probably have to arm myself with that to be able to help..

So many are going to be rude in society and so many are willing to pretend that it doesnt affect them when it does.. it actually morphs them
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kristina
10-31-2019, 11:37 AM,
#7
RE: Empathy
(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I've begun trying to do that. it's time for me to push through even though that's against my philosophy of living and doing things.
So I wrote down all these things and was able to do 3 of them.

That's really great. There's an old saying, or maybe it's a song lyric: Keep on keeping on.

(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Family members can really mess with a sensitive person's focus when they get in trouble a lot, or are in unhealthy relationships.

I get that. The melodrama, for me, has become fairly easy to detach from. But when there are real issues, that's hard. My brother was a very troubled person. He's been gone a long time, and it still hurts. All I can say is that what I do is try to add what I have to give to the world, instead of just feeling and reacting to it.

(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  One other obstacle is self censor. this really sucks.

I deal with that a lot. I am by nature a direct and honest person, and I have been trying to balance that with the concept of kindness for many years. It's not simple. By being true to your nature you honor self and that creates the self-worth you mentioned and personal empowerment. Years ago I started recognizing the need to consider more than straightforward honesty in the equation of communication, and I went way out of balance trying for kindness. I'm still working on it. Mixing kindness with honesty still feels to me like mixing water with oil.

(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  And saying 'no' was difficult too. so for that I now rely on the integrated shadow self. shadow self is powerful as long as we're friends and I don't reject it

By "shadow self" what do you refer to?

(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Once I saw a girl who was the victim of an acid attack or sth. then I found out she killed herself. as soon as I saw her I was taken to this deep dark place where she had been dwelling. her passing lessened the suffering I felt for her. I could finally stop thinking about her. I got this image that she jumped out
pain like that is not very common even though it exists. most people who suffer or cause suffering have orange ray problems.
I think self worth is the medicine that's most needed. I probably have to arm myself with that to be able to help.

So sad.

I agree that self-worth will arm you. If you value others over yourself, there is imbalance. Ideally you value yourself and that creates a baseline of respect for life, but if you have diminished respect for your own life, there is an energetic communication with others that signals a lack of respect for life. So it's a conflict: lack of respect mixed with trying to help someone because you respect their life.

(10-31-2019, 03:04 AM)Cainite Wrote:  So many are going to be rude in society and so many are willing to pretend that it doesnt affect them when it does.. it actually morphs them

True. But a lot of humans are asleep to the process. You aren't. This is why I say to focus on you and what you want to do here. From Ra:

Quote:Though wanderers here may already be functioning as a beacon of planetary love and light, those of Ra also point out the importance of individual expression.

I speak more about this in an article on Plenum's LoO website:
https://thirddensityalchemist.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/what-if-you-are-a-wanderer-but-you-dont-remember-why-you-came-here/
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10-31-2019, 01:04 PM,
#8
RE: Empathy
This is a quote from one of my favorite authors, Tom Robbins, from his novel "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues." It's not written from the perspective of the LoO, but the words fit here in this thread:

Quote:Our individuality is all, all, that we have. There are those who barter it for security, those who repress it for what they believe is the betterment of the whole society, but blessed in the twinkle of the morning star is the one who nurtures it and rides it in, in grace and love and wit, from peculiar station to peculiar station along life's bittersweet route.
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11-01-2019, 02:31 AM, (This post was last modified: 11-01-2019, 02:34 AM by Cainite.)
#9
RE: Empathy
(10-31-2019, 11:37 AM)Diana Wrote:  I deal with that a lot. I am by nature a direct and honest person, and I have been trying to balance that with the concept of kindness for many years. It's not simple. By being true to your nature you honor self and that creates the self-worth you mentioned and personal empowerment. Years ago I started recognizing the need to consider more than straightforward honesty in the equation of communication, and I went way out of balance trying for kindness. I'm still working on it. Mixing kindness with honesty still feels to me like mixing water with oil.

There have been times when I infringed on the free will of others by expressing to them truths that they had been hiding in the deeper mind. granting them access to it. but recently when that happened I felt guilty because of not being responsible. we always have more things to balance : )

Self censor is really limiting for artists, writers, etc. and is a reason why great works of art were usually made for the self and not necessarily to be released for public. my favorite musician got in trouble because of others blowing things out of proportion when he made a mistake, u know..


Quote:By "shadow self" what do you refer to?

When I'm comfortable and completely myself I may not be very emotional but I'm soft
This attracts people who want to take advantage by taking and not giving and mocking us for it.

also being different and solitary means there will always be people who want to pick on you, dominate you, they think they will
Fix the self worth issues I mentioned by doing something to prove they're superior. or usually their ''side'' has to be superior (''u're one of us or agaisnt us'' mentality)

So many times when there's supposed to be a line or sth, someone decides to take my place and totally disregard me
It's like they know I don't like defending myself. (it doesn't feel very noble)

So a little help from the shadow side (the part that is done with all that and has a claim to healing) can help.

It can change my voice (not in a villianish way, lol) make me serious, ... to help in a situation when I allow it. if it helps the highest good

My shadow side can defend me or other things through other means. but usually I handle things with the light side,

Recently I handled two ppl that were trying to dominate me with calm and understanding but my subconscious caused me to burst laughing
after I did that (which I stopped after a seocond). I believe it was a little kick that was needed. the loud laughter came a second after I thanked them (lol) and it displayed some sort of hidden power.

I've been looking at it the way I understand channelings speak of integrating the shadow side. having it run with you as a wolf (a good boy)


I have to admit it's still not very pleasant having to stand up for myself. standing up for others comes easier. even though I let
others usually work things out themselves and still feel like a guest on planet earth. But I will have to do it when it's responsiblity and not infringement on the will of the creator

Quote:. It's not simple. By being true to your nature you honor self and that creates the self-worth you mentioned and personal empowerment.

Interesting. that helps!
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11-01-2019, 11:43 AM,
#10
RE: Empathy
(11-01-2019, 02:31 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Self censor is really limiting for artists, writers, etc. and is a reason why great works of art were usually made for the self and not necessarily to be released for public. my favorite musician got in trouble because of others blowing things out of proportion when he made a mistake, u know..

I think that's very true for artists (by that I mean all creatives), but artists also tend to be unstable. I think the instability comes from the right-brain/creative open channels, and the fact that people are not taught how to function with the creative energies which are not linear, not logical, and therefore can't be controlled by society. If you look at the school systems (at least in the US), teaching is almost exclusively left-brain memorization and linear sequencing, and creativity is ignored, attempting to pump out good little societally acceptable robots by squeezing everyone into a controllable box.

Artists have a hard time in modern-day society. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I could make a case for the control of creative people who are less apt to conform with the system, by outlining how their survival power has been diminished (after they leave school and try to make it in the world). The biggest problem I see for creative people is that they HAVE to create, so they end up lost in a world that doesn't value them.

But on the bright side, because they HAVE to create, they still do. And they add light to the world, whether it's the light of truth, love, or whatever.


(11-01-2019, 02:31 AM)Cainite Wrote:  When I'm comfortable and completely myself I may not be very emotional but I'm soft
This attracts people who want to take advantage by taking and not giving and mocking us for it.

also being different and solitary means there will always be people who want to pick on you, dominate you, they think they will
Fix the self worth issues I mentioned by doing something to prove they're superior. or usually their ''side'' has to be superior (''u're one of us or agaisnt us'' mentality)

So many times when there's supposed to be a line or sth, someone decides to take my place and totally disregard me
It's like they know I don't like defending myself. (it doesn't feel very noble)

So a little help from the shadow side (the part that is done with all that and has a claim to healing) can help.

It can change my voice (not in a villianish way, lol) make me serious, ... to help in a situation when I allow it. if it helps the highest good

My shadow side can defend me or other things through other means. but usually I handle things with the light side,

Okay I get it. Yes, it sounds like balancing and integrating the whole self. Smile


(11-01-2019, 02:31 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Recently I handled two ppl that were trying to dominate me with calm and understanding but my subconscious caused me to burst laughing
after I did that (which I stopped after a seocond). I believe it was a little kick that was needed. the loud laughter came a second after I thanked them (lol) and it displayed some sort of hidden power.

That's awesome. I have had the same thing happen to me at the strangest moments. For me, I think it was a recognition of the absurdity of the human drama bubbling up.


(11-01-2019, 02:31 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I have to admit it's still not very pleasant having to stand up for myself. standing up for others comes easier. even though I let
others usually work things out themselves and still feel like a guest on planet earth. But I will have to do it when it's responsiblity and not infringement on the will of the creator

If you ask a writer about writing, they will go on and on about how much they love it; but if you ask them to write a bio, they will tell you they hate that. I think it's because it's like playing the Earth game, having to market one's self. But it is a reflection of self-respect and self-worth.

You know when traveling on a commercial plane, the flight attendant tells parents to use the oxygen mask first for themselves, then the child? It is my opinion that the best way to help the world is to become the best you. It isn't simple because we are always interacting with others. But you are as important as everyone(thing) else.
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Cainite
11-01-2019, 11:46 AM,
#11
RE: Empathy
I'm a writer though I dislike writing. But I probably would write a bio. If you mean by bio writing about oneself. Might not be a true writer then. I just can't get motivated to do so.
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11-01-2019, 12:13 PM,
#12
RE: Empathy
@ IGW—why do you dislike writing? You wrote a whole novel with a great story.
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11-01-2019, 12:18 PM, (This post was last modified: 11-01-2019, 12:20 PM by IndigoGeminiWolf.)
#13
RE: Empathy
Well, getting started I'm not motivated. But that book was channeled I think over 10-20 years.
When I get to writing I think I enjoy it.
But I can't seem to stick with anything for long enough to complete another book.

Thanks again for reading it and your kind feedback.
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Cainite
11-01-2019, 12:45 PM,
#14
RE: Empathy
(11-01-2019, 12:18 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:  Well, getting started I'm not motivated. But that book was channeled I think over 10-20 years.
When I get to writing I think I enjoy it.
But I can't seem to stick with anything for long enough to complete another book.

Thanks again for reading it and your kind feedback.

Of course. I enjoyed it. Smile

[Image: bringthwritinginspirationjunotdiazyearsjpg.jpg]

Junot Diaz took 11 years to write his one novel, which won a Pulitzer. Smile

I get it about getting started. And I think you just need to find a subject that you're really passionate about, like a book about the Anthro world. Smile That is, if you still have the interest in writing.
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11-01-2019, 01:02 PM,
#15
RE: Empathy
Yes, my next book will be anthro. I've started like 3 anthro books but just haven't gotten much with them.
I want to do a book about working energetically with anthro beings.
But I need more experience in working with them.
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11-01-2019, 03:19 PM,
#16
RE: Empathy
Good luck with that IGW. You'll do great. Smile
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11-02-2019, 02:24 AM,
#17
RE: Empathy
I have no experience writing. i only have this inner desire that wants me to create stories and characters. having the characters evolve on their own or with my help and interact with each other.. that's exciting.

I tried writing, but I wanted to do it like a pro from the begining so that didn't last more than a day.

My other reason for wanting to write is that I think I should make story driven music.

(11-01-2019, 11:43 AM)Diana Wrote:  That's awesome. I have had the same thing happen to me at the strangest moments. For me, I think it was a recognition of the absurdity of the human drama bubbling up.

yeah that must be it. you seem to do better at putting things into words.

Do you usually attract strange catalysts?  I have so many stories like that. Smile
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11-02-2019, 10:52 AM,
#18
RE: Empathy
(11-02-2019, 02:24 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I have no experience writing. i only have this inner desire that wants me to create stories and characters. having the characters evolve on their own or with my help and interact with each other.. that's exciting.

I tried writing, but I wanted to do it like a pro from the begining so that didn't last more than a day.

My other reason for wanting to write is that I think I should make story driven music.

You will write and finish things when you are really driven with some message you want to express. And don't worry about writing well during the first draft. You polish your writing when you edit. The important thing is to get the story out stream of consciousness first, so it's raw and unlimited by judgment.

When you write stream of consciousness your characters will evolve on their own. You will wonder where the heck stuff comes from. It can be very magical. That is not to say it isn't hard work at times to finish a novel. 

[Image: bringthwritinginspirationpatpattisoncrapjpg.jpg]

I have a Pinterest page with inspiration and tips for writers from authors, songwriters, and other remarkable creative people if you're interested (the pin above is one of them):

https://www.pinterest.com/authordlfisher/


(11-02-2019, 02:24 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Do you usually attract strange catalysts?  I have so many stories like that.  Smile

Many stories of paranormal events. The laughter thing has been happening to me since I was very young. I used to resist it. I don't anymore Smile
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11-02-2019, 02:03 PM, (This post was last modified: 11-02-2019, 02:08 PM by RitaJC.)
#19
RE: Empathy
(11-02-2019, 02:24 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I tried writing, but I wanted to do it like a pro from the begining so that didn't last more than a day.

That could have been only what is called ego or the Inner Critique. The real you gets that writing good material is a skill to be developed, right? Smile
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Cainite
11-03-2019, 07:22 PM,
#20
RE: Empathy
Wisdom is what you need for such problems. Along with sufficient emotional maturity and strength.

Additionally, frequently having 'alone time' away from the people in your life and all the problems by going somewhere or doing something would help greatly.

This kind of thing is not something that you 'solve/succeed' once and then just leave behind. In this world, there are a lot of problems, there are a lot of people with problems, there is a lot of conflict, energetic, mental and emotional chaos, a lot of stuff going on. Its like swimming in a sea with strong waves.

Better course of action is to take it at pace, deal with it as if it was breathing - take time off when you are tired, return to dealing with people when you are recharged enough.
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