Weed makes me schizophrenic
03-21-2020, 01:15 PM,
Weed makes me schizophrenic
Before anyone reads this I don’t have the ability to make a coherent story and jump back and forth. Every time I reread it I change it and it’s a never ending cycle till I usually just say screw it and delete everything. I find that my frontal lobe was impacted drastically and the occipital during my childhood “accident”. I’m not able to structure and perceive things properly.

(I’m just gonna post it like this or else I’m gonna make myself stress as the guts health is determined by health and I’m contradicting my thoughts as I just to release information in a sensible way which I know feel my colon starting to stress itself )

Welp, it seems as the days go on since my last toke I become more and more grounded.

Weed helped me at first but the more I smoked, the more I became aware of.

Awareness is addicting, the pursuit of greater knowledge. Especially when you can achieve it using a shortcut by smoking.

At first it was helpful, I could finally understand my situation. I could see myself on a social level. Think of a child becoming aware of others for the first time.

For the first time I grew out of the take care of me I’m a little kid phase. Which then I was an older kid in the candy store.

The craziest thing I remember learning, which side note I never learned from my owns thoughts before. Almost like I’m machine learning at this point. Is that there something called time management, y’all probably know what it is, as I can’t remember how to do it >.>

So it was all good, I remember eating my food and I heard screaming because the food was alive and it was eating it without asking it if i could eat it.

I went up a thin energy line, charging my third eye and then poof, all of a sudden UP the wormhole I went. First part probably not technically correct but picture it. Because later I can crashing down.

At the height of the good experience I balanced my physical body and felt light as a feather. I had thoughts of wisdom and loved myself again.

But there were also times where I didn’t believe I was in control. Kind of like I am now.

As I come back to Earth I’m confused and a little fearful of what my future holds.

I’m scared that I know my mind doesn’t work properly. Because I have tried everything in the 20 years leading to this and marijuana was my only ticket to understanding anything.

I’m confused as I try to remember back to the incident, because there’s a chance I had schizophrenia and told myself to kill myself by jumping off the couch and hitting the corner of the coffee table in the middle of my forehead.

I remember being super fearful of what I was doing at the time but I powered through it. Then when I was becoming the light I felt a presence that said it wasn’t my time yet. That sadness has been with me ever since and I found that during my “episode” I visited the light again and I was not deserving of the love/light. I wasn’t pure enough yet.

It’s like I turned my own schizophrenia off and am able to control it through weed. But isn’t that what a schizophrenic would say.

I just want to point out that the first couple times I smoked after a long t break, I would “become conscious” in my mind which makes me want to learn like crazy. At the moment I don’t have thoughts I can control, but thoughts that control me.

In the past I couldn’t understand freewill because I broke my friends heart out of love. All I ever did was follow love and it gave me heart break. I would like to think that the heart break would be the main problem, but how can I have a heart if I can’t believe in love.
The moon casts its shadows. What shall you see? -Ra
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04-04-2020, 03:56 PM,
RE: Weed makes me schizophrenic
Yeah, research shows weed consumption may increase schizophrenic tendencies in the long run.
can reach me@ unity100-gmail
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04-04-2020, 04:14 PM,
RE: Weed makes me schizophrenic
I think DMT made me schizophrenic.

Doubt everything. Find your own light. - Buddha
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04-04-2020, 05:04 PM,
RE: Weed makes me schizophrenic
I think, its neither the weed nor the DMT that makes you schizophrenic.
Weed, and much more DMT obviously brought you in contact with an experience your consciousness refuses to handle.
Thus the consciousness tries to deny the experience and separate from itself.
The outcome might be the same, but I think viewing it in a more realistic way has more potential of offering a way out.

If its the DMT that did it, there is not much one can do.

If its one ˋs own consciousness that tries to seperate from itself, it puts the power back into your own hands.
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04-05-2020, 01:44 AM,
RE: Weed makes me schizophrenic
can reach me@ unity100-gmail
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04-05-2020, 04:50 AM,
RE: Weed makes me schizophrenic
(04-05-2020, 01:44 AM)unity100 Wrote:  https://www.google.com/search?q=long+term+usage+of+marijuana+causes+schizophrenia&oq=long+term+usage+of+marijuana+causes+schizophrenia&aqs=chrome..69i57.7824j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I am not exactly sure what you want to say with that, but it seems you are getting me wrong!

I am not denying the fact that there is a likelyhood to end up in schizophrenia or psychosis when using psychedelics.
In fact, sooner or later this is likely to happen for most, under certain circumstances.
(Thats the reason why I repeatedly advocate against the use of psychedelics without trained assistance).

What I was trying to point to are the mechanisms why this occurs.

Having been working with Ayahuasca intensively for many years now, I have made a lot of experiences in my own process as well as in assisting other people that paint a clearer picture:

Hat happens, is, a door is being opened, a blockage temporarily removed, that normally seperates us from experiences or energies that we believe we cannot handle.
When this arises, the consciousness reacts with intense fear and tries to forcefully push the experience back. However, this doesnt really work under the influence of strong psychedelics.
So, the consciousness tries to find a solution and the solution in sever cases is an attempt to seperate from itself, to seperate from that portion that makes the experience. This is the very state that is being labelled as schizophrenia.
Sfter the effect of the psychedelic has worn out, people often remain stuck there, stuck in the seperation and denial attempt, which results in permanent schizophrenia.
Psychosis is a very similar mechanism and much related. It is an energy or experience leaking through ones wall of defense, so only the emotions or energies are perceivable, but not the full context. Because of that, the consciousness, in an attempt to understand and control the situation, tries to interpret the energies/emotions related to normal reality, which is futile, because they do not origin in everyday life, thats, in short words what psychosis is.

Why am I saying this?

Two reasons:
1) The mechanism is not psychedelic causes schizophrenia
the mechanism is psychedelics make a suppressed experience arise, the consciousness believes it cannot handle the experience and thus reacts with schizophrenia

Thta is a crucial difference in my opinion!

Because it is not a god-given thing to be schizophrenic, no one is doomed to stay there forever.
In fact, the consciousness can slowly and safely approach that which has been denied and so heal the schizophrenia.
This is, for various reasons, very difficult to do alone, but its not an incurable thing.
That was actually my whole point!

I habe gone through schizophrenic and psychotic states on my path as well, and I think I gained quite an understanding of what that actually is.
And obviously, I have been able to get over this.

To add on that:
When using psychedlics, one will end up in very challenging states sooner or later, but without any doubt in the long run.
With trained assistance, these states can be experienced safely and with great benefit.
Without such assistance, permanent psychosis and or schizophrenia is something that can be the outcome very easily...
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