Need help with autistic individual
04-21-2020, 02:17 AM,
#1
Need help with autistic individual
Hi,

I use the chat app discord and a few months ago I had someone message me on an occult server I was a part of. This person is an autistic teenager obsessed with figuring out a way to time travel. Since then, he's been messaging me 50+ times a day on average about how he wishes he could time travel and asking how to do it (he ignores anything I or anyone else says about how it's not feasible), how he hates his life, threatening self-harm, and so on.

He also talks about how lonely he is all the time, and how he has no friends. I respond to his messages when I can, but I really only have time to talk for a few minutes a day, and I think me being the only person he talks to is extremely unhealthy for him (according to him, everyone else ignores or blocks him).

Is there anyone here who also wants to talk to him? I think having some more social exposure might be good for him. But I'm just giving you the heads up - he's likely to send 10+ messages at a time at all times of the day, make all types of threats, and generally not listen to any suggestions given when talking about his problems. He usually goes back to wishing he could time travel and how trying any other solution to his issues is 'unfair.'

I'm hoping that if there were at least a few other people willing to speak to him, maybe he'd begin to balance out a little more.
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04-21-2020, 03:58 AM,
#2
RE: Need help with autistic individual
Hey 888!
I dont know that person obviously, so take this with a grain of salt!

I would strongly advice against that proposal!

I absolutely doubt that this would even help that person.
He seems to live in a world of his own. Usually autistic people do this and actually, we all do it, its just the degree that varies.

What I mean is, he doesnt really live in „this“ earthly world, but more or less in a world in his mind. Many of us do this, but it seems to be worse with him.
This world is very abstract and a world mainly made up of thought.
There is no balancing in this.
The problem would be living in an abstract world and a severe lack of grounding. And you cannot abstractly balance living too much in an abstract world, obviously.
In your communication, you can actually only reach his thought level, which is an abstract world.

The basic problem with this condition is, there is a lack of grounding, a lack of connection with this physical world. However, since the body is our vehicle of experience, one is like caught between world. Not here, but neither there so to say.
The consequence is living in an abstract pseudo-world.

The background of this normally is an inability (in cases of for example organic indications) or mostly a refusal to connect.
Although this is a subconscious decision (due to trauma probably), it still is a decision. And this decision will be effective unless a new decision is being made.

You could say there is a refusal to really allow contact (contact with himself and his body and contact with others), while at the same time there is a need for contact.
The need for contact plays out in sending you masses of messages which forces for your attention and energy, while at the same time refusing contact by having no interest in what you say.
So for him its the perfect solution for getting what he needs while making sure it doesnt become threatening, which he make sure by not going into real contact.
This is an absolute one-way street, it will drain you massively of energy.
At the same time, it does not help him heal.
One reason being, as long as his system works, there is no need to change it.
Second reason, all the energy you invest goes straight to the ego, to that mechanism that is responsible for not connecting with the physical world (in this case) for various reason.
All that energy does NOT reach that part of him that actually needs healing and contact, because it is protected by that mechanism that you interact with.
So, basically, all energy only flows straight to that part that PREVENTS healing!

Before anything can change for that guy, he needs to make a decision!
When that has happened, especially with such a comdition, a real life human contact would be needed. Just virtual contact would in my opinion only reinforce the problem.

And if ten people would receive his one-way messages, I dont think that will help other than inflating the ego and reducing the need for change!

Just my two cents though...
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04-21-2020, 11:17 AM,
#3
RE: Need help with autistic individual
I'm not sure if anything I have to say will help, as I am no expert either. But I can relate what we did when I worked with emotionally-disturbed teens. We had all sorts in this "special" classroom, and most all of the students were high IQ, with anything from paranoid schizophrenic to obsessive-compulsive to generally disruptive. The way we handled various inappropriate behaviors was simple: don't react to "bad" behavior (and this was a contract we made between us—the teachers—and a particular student as to what constituted inappropriate behavior) with privileges taken away when the "bad" behaviors accumulated to a certain point during the day. So I agree with Agua that feeding into this person's obsessions by giving him more people to talk to about his obsessions would not be productive.

I would suggest being kind but firm, and detached from emotional involvement.
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04-21-2020, 01:25 PM, (This post was last modified: 04-21-2020, 01:26 PM by sillypumpkins.)
#4
RE: Need help with autistic individual
I absolutely agree with Agua on this one.

also, just curious, what makes you think this person needs help?
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04-21-2020, 08:24 PM, (This post was last modified: 04-21-2020, 08:38 PM by 888.)
#5
RE: Need help with autistic individual
(04-21-2020, 01:25 PM)sillypumpkins Wrote:  I absolutely agree with Agua on this one.

also, just curious, what makes you think this person needs help?

He's obviously desperate to talk to someone and has noone else to talk to. As far as I know, and from what he says, I'm the only person who isn't completely rejecting his attempts to socialize. It isn't hard to believe given how unpleasant he is (even with his condition in mind, he's very rude, demanding, and abrasive).

So while I'd prefer not to reward attempts to manipulate and tantrums (and I'm firmly telling him when he's acting inappropriately, not responding to most of the ridiculous demands he makes), I don't think it would be wise to just abandon him to total isolation, which would be even more damaging. I think the amount of rejection and isolation he deals with is partially what got him to this point in the first place. Whatever specialists he may or may not be seeing apparently haven't helped him at all.

I don't think this contact is going to last forever either, and I don't think it's healthy to prolong it for an extended period of time the way it's going. But I think I should at least try to offer some opportunity to him, whatever that is.

Right now I'm just responding every once in a while, suggesting he takes up exercise, meditation, mentioning that his reasons for wanting to time travel (internet drama) are nowhere near as severe as he believes they are, trying to inform him of basic social skills, etc.

If he really continues ignoring all of this, I might just cut contact with the intent and hope that silence will speak many more volumes than the repeated attempts to help did. But that would be the last measure.

I also don't think he's currently capable of making friends in the physical world, especially given that there's currently a lockdown.
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04-21-2020, 08:40 PM,
#6
RE: Need help with autistic individual
This person is more-or-less a stranger correct? He messaged you on a chat server?

It seems like you've taken on a sort of "mentor" role with him.... would you agree? If so, are you doing it more for yourself or for him?

I've taken on that role with others in the past, only to realize it was to fulfill something in myself, not to genuinely help the other person. I'm noticing some similarities with how I viewed the situation and how you're presenting it now.....

I obviously don't know your intentions. Just sharing my view on your post and relating it to my own experience.... it might apply... might not....

anyways Smile
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04-21-2020, 09:19 PM,
#7
RE: Need help with autistic individual
(04-21-2020, 08:40 PM)sillypumpkins Wrote:  This person is more-or-less a stranger correct? He messaged you on a chat server?

It seems like you've taken on a sort of "mentor" role with him.... would you agree? If so, are you doing it more for yourself or for him?

I've taken on that role with others in the past, only to realize it was to fulfill something in myself, not to genuinely help the other person. I'm noticing some similarities with how I viewed the situation and how you're presenting it now.....

I obviously don't know your intentions. Just sharing my view on your post and relating it to my own experience.... it might apply... might not....

anyways Smile

I partially view the situation as probably being some type of karmic restitution I'm fulfilling, yeah. And I'm aware many actions that involve helping other people also have a self-serving nature to them.

I'm not interested in being a mentor or having some type of title, or position of authority. It's more of me knowing that I've put other people through difficulties during my past struggles with mental and emotional trauma, and I'm experiencing someone displaying that in a far more extreme way towards me now. But because of that, I also recognize that being abandoned by people during a period of crisis / instability is profoundly traumatic, which is an experience that I'd prefer not to give to this person, because I think it's liable to mess him up more.
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04-21-2020, 09:38 PM, (This post was last modified: 04-21-2020, 09:41 PM by Black Dragon.)
#8
RE: Need help with autistic individual
I myself am diagnosed with "Asperger's" or high-functioning autism. While it was been a pain in the ass, I'd say that this person's case sounds pretty severe. I tend to suffer from a lack of grounding, and a tendency to "live in my head" as well, but not to that degree. Autistic people get a bad and inaccurate rap for being dethatched, unemotional, incapable of empathy, etc., while the truth is, we feel TOO much. Our physical and mental senses are way dialed up, and we are hypersensitive to the "slings and arrows of life", which cause us to unground, armor ourselves, and retreat into a mental fortress which becomes sort of a prison over time.

All the judgment and getting picked apart/analyzed we get turns into counter-judgment, and we find ourselves analyzing and picking apart how and why "normies" are so f***** up, lumping them all in the same bag, which reinforces concepts of separation and not treating everyone as unique individual, how we would want to be treated. Boundaries are healthy and necessary, and so is discernment and refusing to play the same dishonest social games and wear the masks that most do, however, we tend to go to extremes to develop a rather solipsistic world view, which is not productive.

I don't think this person is at a place where anyone can help him until he decides that something has to change in himself. I don't know what that will take, but it will have to come from within. Everything anyone suggests that does not fit his solipsistic worldview will be discarded without a second thought, and he will cling to his unhealthy way of doing things, his obsessions and distortions, and his worldview until he decides for himself these things don't serve him. I wouldn't know where to begin helping somebody that does not want to help themselves, as much as I feel for the guy and would want him to feel the happiness he deserves.

I can only suggest he try to find a niche where he fits in, rather than trying to conform or impress anyone. A more healthy use of his tendency for boundaries and individualism, would be to develop a thicker skin and just not give a f*** what people think about him. That would be a healthy form of detachment from the world, rather than the unhealthy ones he displays. I don't know what else to say, that's just my own personal perspective on a condition that I also deal with to some extent.
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04-22-2020, 12:55 AM, (This post was last modified: 04-22-2020, 12:56 AM by flofrog.)
#9
RE: Need help with autistic individual
I like everyone’s opinion here. 888 I don’t know if the desire to help someone always implies some self- serving nature Wink

I feel that silence on your part might help him to make the decision that black dragon talks about. Just my two cents.
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04-22-2020, 04:05 PM,
#10
RE: Need help with autistic individual
Why do you believe that time travel is not feasible ?
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04-22-2020, 06:37 PM,
#11
RE: Need help with autistic individual
(04-22-2020, 04:05 PM)Ashim Wrote:  Why do you believe that time travel is not feasible ?

It's not feasible in 3rd density because we're meant to learn from our mistakes. The existence of time travel in this density would defeat its purpose.

I believe it's feasible in higher densities, which occur in time-space as opposed to space-time.
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