Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
08-06-2020, 02:08 PM,
#1
Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
About six years ago my wife, then 72, suffered a stroke that left her with a loss of short-term memory. Fortunately, she was not physically debilitated; however, the memory problem made it necessary that I assume grocery trips and most household tasks in addition to everything I had already been doing.

As the sole caregiver, to avoid burnout, I have my daily early morning routine: 20 minutes meditation and prayer; 40 minutes hatha yoga (Jon Kabat-Zinn); and walking at least three miles in an hour or so. Every morning for the last two years this has continued.

Things I’ve learned so far in the context of Law of One …

1. Earlier, I was concerned that my discouragement and sadness might work against my red-ray energy flow. Stepping back somewhat, I’m now convinced that both of us had made an agreement, before incarnation, for this very situation to occur. That being the case, this is a chance to learn lessons rather than a reason to be discouraged or sad. My meditation needs to keep me centered on faith that all is well – there are no mistakes – and that growth will indeed come.

2. At times, I’m faced with anger directed my way because of being confused or not being able to remember recent events. My challenge is to accept her as my other-self, avoid responding in anger, and  become more patient and compassionate. It helps to see these times as my opportunity to work on catalyst. I’ve found it helpful to meditate later on my often-ineffective responses: my thought is to balance our anger and frustration with peace.

3. Thinking about our possible pre-incarnation agreement, it does get me lots of practice being compassionate. Dealing with this is now my mission and service to other self. With this in mind, I’ve read Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz. His metaphysics and explanation of the life we planned before incarnation appears quite consistent with the Law of One. Recently I ordered Your Soul’s Gift expecting useful information in its chapter on caregiving.

Meanwhile, I deal with the catalyst, knowing that there’s no failure, but rather great learning.

So this is where I’ve been, and hopefully what I’ve experienced can be helpful to you in your journey. In this time of lockdowns, support groups we might have been attending in person are not meeting as before. Perhaps this thread can help fill in the gap for you.

What has been your challenge? How has your walk with the Law of One helped you in your caregiving?
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ada, Cannon, flofrog, hounsic, Learner, Patrick, sillypumpkins
08-06-2020, 03:01 PM,
#2
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
i like your approach boxer fan Smile I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in that situation, especially when it's a loved one. my grandmother had schizophrenia, dementia, and alzheimers and even the short visits were tough...... i imagine living with someone under that condition must provide many a lesson.... anywho....

my challenge right now has been a particularly strained relationship with a sibling of mine. we've always been so so close (twins) but recently there's been a lot of upheaval in our relationship. my sibling became conscious of a lot of emotions they have been holding on to, and they've been having a tough time processing it. a lot of external blaming, victimizing, yelling, accusing, and just general confusion.

it's been a great lesson in listening, acceptance. it's still hard. i get blamed for things i did not do, i get told there's things wrong with me. so it's also been a good lesson in sort of like.... holding strong in the face of, adversity? or something? I don't know the right words. all I know is that it's been really easy for me to let myself go after hearing some of the things they've had to say to me. like hurtful things. so it's been a good lesson in recognizing what is true and what isn't about myself, while also accepting that they look at the situation in that way..... if that makes sense, lol.

love and light you boxer fan....... your wife is a lucky lady Smile
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Learner
08-07-2020, 08:56 AM,
#3
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
Boxer Fan, I am in awe.

My catalyst is living with someone who was pretty dark and turning around. Not because of me, but by his own efforts. It is very difficult to give up on hate and anger and narcissism so I am often very admirative, secretly, as I don’t think he would like my admiration so much.

As I am a total optimist and he is not, I have a feeling it’s pretty hard for him to live with me at times.

I find your care giving so moving, Boxer Fan, best wishes indeed, keep on... Heart
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08-18-2020, 02:49 PM,
#4
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
sillypumpkins, flofrog:
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.

Interesting update:
Much anger heads my way because of "sundown syndrome." I discovered that if I respond with verbal defense, it never works out well; on the other hand, if I respond with words like, "I love you unconditionally," things quickly calm down. Seems to be working to lower the temperature a bit.

Anybody have some thoughts on this one?
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08-27-2020, 04:57 PM,
#5
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
(08-06-2020, 02:08 PM)Boxer Fan Wrote:  3. Thinking about our possible pre-incarnation agreement, it does get me lots of practice being compassionate. Dealing with this is now my mission and service to other self. With this in mind, I’ve read Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz. His metaphysics and explanation of the life we planned before incarnation appears quite consistent with the Law of One. Recently I ordered Your Soul’s Gift expecting useful information in its chapter on caregiving.
By way of followup on the Schwartz books ...
Indeed, the more I read, he's staying with the Law of One, sometimes with different words and not so advanced in some areas, but still in sync.
I've read up through the caregiving chapter: Considering our pre-incarnation planning, it's been very illuminating and helpful.
If you're a caregiver, the books are worth looking into.
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08-27-2020, 06:57 PM,
#6
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
Boxer Fan, I can only totally concur on the excellent effect to stay in unconditional love, it will very quickly diminish and then dismantle any angst, violence, aggressiveness, really miraculously I would say... Keep on and much courage !! Heart
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09-17-2020, 04:02 PM,
#7
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
(08-27-2020, 06:57 PM)flofrog Wrote:  Boxer Fan, I can only totally concur on the excellent effect to stay in unconditional love, it will very quickly diminish and then dismantle any angst, violence, aggressiveness, really miraculously I would say... Keep on and much courage !!  Heart
Thanks for the encouragement, flofrog, it is indeed an uphill battle.

I've been listening to the Podcasts (now making my 2nd pass through), and I'm recognizing my response to catalysts important. Rather than responding to anger with anger, a soft reply is most helpful. Then ... I need to meditate on my repressed angry response to balance myself out. This is clearly a work in progress.
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09-17-2020, 06:06 PM,
#8
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
i liked m newton s journey of souls. Audio on ytube
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09-17-2020, 06:37 PM,
#9
RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
(09-17-2020, 06:06 PM)Ymarsakar Wrote:  i liked m newton s journey of souls. Audio on ytube

Thanks, Ymarsakar.
As I mentioned in https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=18420 ...

"The big turn came when I read Dr. Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls. It made sense! I read his other books, then turned to Dr. Brian Weiss. He presented the same metaphysics as Dr Newton, but coming from a different angle. His first book, Many Lives, Many Masters, convinced me reincarnation is real; I read all his other books."

Both Newton and Weiss have it all together. Robert Schwartz's Your Soul’s Plan is also good; I've not finished Your Soul’s Gift (the sections on Caregiving and on Pets are good though).

Speaking of pets, my wife's 7-yr-old Yorkie has been a major catalyst, and that chapter on pets has me rethinking my adversarial relationship with him. What a surprise!
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10-03-2020, 03:47 PM,
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RE: Caregiving - Dementia Caused by Stroke
(09-17-2020, 06:37 PM)Boxer Fan Wrote:  Speaking of pets, my wife's 7-yr-old Yorkie has been a major catalyst, and that chapter on pets has me rethinking my adversarial relationship with him. What a surprise!
Updating a bit on the Yorkie issue, which really shouldn't be a big problem, but it is because he's the "perfect" pet of my wife and can do no wrong ...
My attitude shift: I've been training him to do tricks like "sit up" and "down" with training treats, which he loves, but he still hasn't gotten the message to ask to go outside (not housebroken yet ... amazing). For my part, that "go outside" catalyst is helping me improve my patience.

I keep reminding myself that there are no mistakes, and caregiving plus the dog issue are all going the way they should.
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