Wanderer of Wanderers

[Stahlen]

Hi...
Let me get right into it.
I've been looking for answers for a very long time. Ive found bits and pieces here and there over the years and put together the pieces intuitively only to find my all the pieces within "the Law of One".

I was searching for a place to live on criags list and i met with this lady who i know was intimidated by my presence (which is silly and it hurts) but didnt want to be rude. We she brought me to a back room where we sat down with her male companion david. She began to small talk with me and david just sat quiet. time lapse
David and I began sharing all the information we've come across and are both happy to have someone to talk to for once. This lead me to the Law of One.

I've been awake sense i was a child and because of that i never fit in anywhere. Ive spent my whole life in solitude with various relationships igniting but soon dying out. I am very distant from most of my family and i dont have friends. Children are drawn to me in the crazyiest way and i can connect with animals and i understand them.

A life of solitude has been my strength. I became a writer which requires that i have plenty of alone time. www.stahlen.com
I know that i can reach the masses with my talent and i have always known it would happen since a child. well it has yet to happen...
And the loneliness has become aburden. I feel like my insides are twisted and its hard to find motivation at times.

The people that i meet seem to always have extreme negative traits that show up in ways that i did not anticipate. I just left a mentally abusive relationship where I participated in a negative energy cycle. My heart has been rippied from its foundation.

My income is virtually non exsistant and im am living with my mom.
my work situations seem to follow the same patterns as my childhood and i end up unemployed although ive never been fired.

I dont mean to be so dark and gloomy. I apologize.

I ask that someone lend a hand and help me pull myself up.

I could use and friend or two. thats all.
I MUST achieve my goal. I MUST reach the masses. I CAN reach the masses.

In my dreams i can fly and people are after me. In multipule dreams i have traveled in time and was affraid of not getting back. I mediate in attempts to better reconize my higher self. I told myself before i came here that i WOULD remember...

[Ankh]

Hello, brother.

I've been through some of the things you described. For instance, I've been looking for Ra for 19 years, and as like you, found fractions here and there, but found the completeness only in Law of One. Sure, the seeking part is not over, as it never is until we come home to the Creator, but I've stopped looking for the missing part in my life as it is right now, because it was and has always been Ra material. Let's see, what else... I've been born without veil/or at least partially removed veil (but fell asleep again after age of seven). I connected better with nature, like wind and trees, rain and grass, ocean and sky, than animals/humans (though it all starting to change now). I love to write too. My heart got broken and been closed for 26 years (which is also starting to change). So you see, my brother, we are not that different, and you are definitely not alone on this road. Just be yourself, dark and gloomy, sad and sorry, or whatever you feel for. Just share. Do you mind to elaborate on the achievement the goal/reach the masses part?

Welcome to the forum, brother!

Love and light!

[unity100]

"living with your mom" is not something bad. in different countries, youth are expected to live with their families and take care of them.

[zenmaster]

I agree, you have talent. I recommend a book called "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain.
"We will discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own or to other peoples' models, learn to be ourselves, and allow our natural channel to open."

"The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf."

[Stahlen]

Hello, brother.

I've been through some of the things you described. For instance, I've been looking for Ra for 19 years, and as like you, found fractions here and there, but found the completeness only in Law of One. Sure, the seeking part is not over, as it never is until we come home to the Creator, but I've stopped looking for the missing part in my life as it is right now, because it was and has always been Ra material. Let's see, what else... I've been born without veil/or at least partially removed veil (but fell asleep again after age of seven). I connected better with nature, like wind and trees, rain and grass, ocean and sky, than animals/humans (though it all starting to change now). I love to write too. My heart got broken and been closed for 26 years (which is also starting to change). So you see, my brother, we are not that different, and you are definitely not alone on this road. Just be yourself, dark and gloomy, sad and sorry, or whatever you feel for. Just share. Do you mind to elaborate on the achievement the goal/reach the masses part?

Welcome to the forum, brother!

Love and light!

So after i wrote all that i felt alot better. then i decided to talk to my mom about the Law of One and my life. it didnt go very well. and she thinks its the devil. so i left... I drove to my ex's house/my old home around 1 am. driving over there i didnt know why i was doing it but i knew it was right. i decided to be silent and observe. she had been very mad. i rang the bell and she told me to leave. but eventually opened the door. and i slept at home. the next morning she had a looooong talk with me and i just listened...

My lesson: be more carfule of what i put out. and what i receive from others i have the choice of taking in or simply observing. and the local energy experienced while when one is obsevering can be molded more effectivly..

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"living with your mom" is not something bad. in different countries, youth are expected to live with their families and take care of them.

Yea...And I get to finally make that connection with my mom. and even though we dont agree at times...she always loves me.

[Ankh]

My lesson: be more carfule of what i put out. and what i receive from others i have the choice of taking in or simply observing. and the local energy experienced while when one is obsevering can be molded more effectivly..

I agree with you! I think it is a very tough balance to master. What to tell and what not to... I would love to just relax and share with people. Open up my heart and really share, you know? But I am not sure if it so wise though. Specially when it comes to close relationships like with our parents. But also when it comes to strangers. There is a session where Ra tell difference between interactions in pre-veiled conditions, and after. It is a big difference. Being here and "play games" is tiresome and one of the reasons I miss my home from now and then. I long to the environment where I don't have to hold anything back, but just share, and be accepted and understood just as I am. But we are not there yet. So being here I don't think that it is a good idea to open up completely.

[seejay21]

@stahlen What will come of you reaching the masses? What does that mean to you? Your words, lyrics, music and every thought is a sacred, valued, loved and perfect part of the whole. You have reaced the masses.

Some pratical things. You're back with your ex. What if your mom had been more understanding? Whatever it was that was going on with your ex that made her your ex wasn't fixed by your mom thinking you're a devil worshiper. So just sayn. Remember why you wrote "I just left a mentally abusive relationship where I participated in a negative energy cycle. My heart has been rippied..."

[3DMonkey]

If you desire to reach the masses, maybe you should start by letting the "masses" reach you.

Also, I am reminded of Ra's focus
17.2 "...We encourage a dispassionate attempt to share information without concern for numbers or quick growth among others. That you attempt to make this information available is, in your terms, your service. The attempt, if it reaches one, reaches all...."

[Stahlen]

@stahlen What will come of you reaching the masses? What does that mean to you? Your words, lyrics, music and every thought is a sacred, valued, loved and perfect part of the whole. You have reaced the masses.

Some pratical things. You're back with your ex. What if your mom had been more understanding? Whatever it was that was going on with your ex that made her your ex wasn't fixed by your mom thinking you're a devil worshiper. So just sayn. Remember why you wrote "I just left a mentally abusive relationship where I participated in a negative energy cycle. My heart has been rippied..."

About my ex...I realize that i dont currently know everything. I always consider that fact that im doing something wrong. and while yes the relationship was mentally abusive...I had my share in it which creates the cycle. Then there are alos things that I can not explain with words. and nothing is 100% negative. When I sat and listened without comment the out come was drastically different...There is so much more to the story than just the abuse. There is love and confusion also... sorry for not clarifying that.

---

If you desire to reach the masses, maybe you should start by letting the "masses" reach you.

Also, I am reminded of Ra's focus
17.2 "...We encourage a dispassionate attempt to share information without concern for numbers or quick growth among others. That you attempt to make this information available is, in your terms, your service. The attempt, if it reaches one, reaches all...."

I think you are touching on a very important point that I may have over looked...

[hogey11]

If you desire to reach the masses, maybe you should start by letting the "masses" reach you.

Also, I am reminded of Ra's focus
17.2 "...We encourage a dispassionate attempt to share information without concern for numbers or quick growth among others. That you attempt to make this information available is, in your terms, your service. The attempt, if it reaches one, reaches all...."

Haha the self-proclaimed recluse teaching evangelism tactics i like it

I completely agree! Don't ever be concerned about your "footprint"; focus on what is in front of you.

[unity100]

dont try to reach the masses. try to reach to those who wants to be reached. law of attraction practice.

[Laurathena]

Maybe this sounds silly, but after years of trying to find "the answers" I managed to lose myself, and now... I stopped looking and the answers have come to me on their own. Or at least I can see the puzzle with less missing pieces in it.

[Brittany]

(reaches out hand) Come on up!

Welcome to the forum, where we're all one big, shiny family!

And it seems we have *another* writer in our midst...I know what you mean about motivation issues. I've been kicking the same story around in my head for years, re-written it about ten times, and still haven't even gotten through the first few chapters. XP