06-08-2011, 12:46 PM
I reach out tentatively with my story, to others who have apparently had a strange human experience. I inherited the Ra Material from a neighbor who died, which brought me to this site. I have no beliefs, only working theories. . . .
I have been reclusive most of my life, although I certainly can function in society. I am an author/illustrator, self-employed and work from home.
I was always aware that I was "other." My mother claimed I was a "changeling" and treated me very differently than my 3 siblings: more like a child would treat a parent, letting me have an almost complete free will about anything I wanted. As a child I was aware of 2 selves: the self playing a drama, and the "real" self observing. I began seeking and observing spirituality as soon as I could walk--from an observational, curious standpoint; not from a need to belong. I also maintained a box around myself when I was in school. It wasn't until I took a class in meditation as an adult that I had any idea what that had been. I was gifted artistically and intellectually, and became somewhat of a celebrity, although my inclination was always to "blend in" and not stand out. This particular polarization is still an issue in my life.
I have had dreams about being on another planet as far back as childhood, with individuals I know yet not know. I feel an intense longing to be in a society without cruelty. At times, I feel an overwhelming sense of isolation. This is exacerbated by a need to be reclusive as the sorrows of the world can be devastating to me, especially as concerns animals, plant life and the planet. If I don't keep the suffering elements of this world at bay, I can spiral down into deep despair--hence the reclusiveness. I have not had a television since 1992, and barely ever watched it when I had one. Even nature shows are somewhat upsetting, as I feel that humans should leave the animals alone in their habitats without interference. In spite of all this, I am a very strong individual with a propensity to rebel against any authority. I value freedom for myself and all life (and I consider everything alive) above anything.
I have had many paranormal experiences, some of which I have never heard of elsewhere. I will relate one: While driving alone and approaching an intersection, I felt a hesitation to proceed through it although I had the green light. Time seemed to slow down as I entered the intersection and I felt as though I was floating. I heard a screech, and to my left a car was braking as it had run the red light and it was trying to stop. I was then not moving, and the other car had stopped. Its front end, and the front end of my car were superimposed, like 2 ghost images, in a perpendicular fashion. I saw the driver, about 35, male hispanic, hanging his head as if distressed. I then looked forward and continued floating across the intersection. The driver did not seem to be aware of me at all. I slowly came to "normal" consciousness after clearing the intersection.
It seems wherever I look there is something different about me. I am a vegetarian, and although I know I must take the life of plants to survive, I feel that plant life offers itself for this purpose at least in part, and that animal life is in fear of being food. I don't kill anything if it can be avoided--even cockroaches and scorpions (not because of any religious beliefs--I have none--but because I respect and sense all life). I dislike zoos, and will not keep a pet unless it can be free (I find even fish aquariums distressing). I love children and they love me, yet I don't have any by choice. I have AB negative blood. I have always looked very young for my age. Regarding age, I have always been at odds with it, and felt it was "wrong" and was deeply saddened as a child when I saw elderly people. In numerology both my birth name and date are 11s, and all the subcategories have subtotals with 11s. My palm has a deeply creviced fate line that goes right up to my finger. In my astrological chart, all the planets are below the horizon, except for 3 in the 12th house (hidden things) suggesting that everything about me is hidden from daylight.
I first heard of the "wanderer" idea when I agreed to go see a "psychic" with a friend in 1989. I was present during my friend's consultation, and heard things about her which were in my present paradigm such as past lives. When it was my turn, the first thing she said was that I wasn't from here, and that I was here as a volunteer. I was utterly surprised and frankly skeptical, until afterwards, when I began to recall many things, such as the dreams of another planet, and that while growing up I would look at myself in the mirror and experience a niggling feeling that there was something not right or missing about my eyes.
This is a bare-bones narrative of my experience, as I am sure everyone else posting here presents. I wish the best for you all.
I have been reclusive most of my life, although I certainly can function in society. I am an author/illustrator, self-employed and work from home.
I was always aware that I was "other." My mother claimed I was a "changeling" and treated me very differently than my 3 siblings: more like a child would treat a parent, letting me have an almost complete free will about anything I wanted. As a child I was aware of 2 selves: the self playing a drama, and the "real" self observing. I began seeking and observing spirituality as soon as I could walk--from an observational, curious standpoint; not from a need to belong. I also maintained a box around myself when I was in school. It wasn't until I took a class in meditation as an adult that I had any idea what that had been. I was gifted artistically and intellectually, and became somewhat of a celebrity, although my inclination was always to "blend in" and not stand out. This particular polarization is still an issue in my life.
I have had dreams about being on another planet as far back as childhood, with individuals I know yet not know. I feel an intense longing to be in a society without cruelty. At times, I feel an overwhelming sense of isolation. This is exacerbated by a need to be reclusive as the sorrows of the world can be devastating to me, especially as concerns animals, plant life and the planet. If I don't keep the suffering elements of this world at bay, I can spiral down into deep despair--hence the reclusiveness. I have not had a television since 1992, and barely ever watched it when I had one. Even nature shows are somewhat upsetting, as I feel that humans should leave the animals alone in their habitats without interference. In spite of all this, I am a very strong individual with a propensity to rebel against any authority. I value freedom for myself and all life (and I consider everything alive) above anything.
I have had many paranormal experiences, some of which I have never heard of elsewhere. I will relate one: While driving alone and approaching an intersection, I felt a hesitation to proceed through it although I had the green light. Time seemed to slow down as I entered the intersection and I felt as though I was floating. I heard a screech, and to my left a car was braking as it had run the red light and it was trying to stop. I was then not moving, and the other car had stopped. Its front end, and the front end of my car were superimposed, like 2 ghost images, in a perpendicular fashion. I saw the driver, about 35, male hispanic, hanging his head as if distressed. I then looked forward and continued floating across the intersection. The driver did not seem to be aware of me at all. I slowly came to "normal" consciousness after clearing the intersection.
It seems wherever I look there is something different about me. I am a vegetarian, and although I know I must take the life of plants to survive, I feel that plant life offers itself for this purpose at least in part, and that animal life is in fear of being food. I don't kill anything if it can be avoided--even cockroaches and scorpions (not because of any religious beliefs--I have none--but because I respect and sense all life). I dislike zoos, and will not keep a pet unless it can be free (I find even fish aquariums distressing). I love children and they love me, yet I don't have any by choice. I have AB negative blood. I have always looked very young for my age. Regarding age, I have always been at odds with it, and felt it was "wrong" and was deeply saddened as a child when I saw elderly people. In numerology both my birth name and date are 11s, and all the subcategories have subtotals with 11s. My palm has a deeply creviced fate line that goes right up to my finger. In my astrological chart, all the planets are below the horizon, except for 3 in the 12th house (hidden things) suggesting that everything about me is hidden from daylight.
I first heard of the "wanderer" idea when I agreed to go see a "psychic" with a friend in 1989. I was present during my friend's consultation, and heard things about her which were in my present paradigm such as past lives. When it was my turn, the first thing she said was that I wasn't from here, and that I was here as a volunteer. I was utterly surprised and frankly skeptical, until afterwards, when I began to recall many things, such as the dreams of another planet, and that while growing up I would look at myself in the mirror and experience a niggling feeling that there was something not right or missing about my eyes.
This is a bare-bones narrative of my experience, as I am sure everyone else posting here presents. I wish the best for you all.