Request for assistance

[Tenet Nosce]

As I have observed some others to have a measure of success with this, I would like to ask for assistance with a personal issue that I am in the process of resolving. Some of the details are written in my wanderer awakening thread under "THE INCIDENT" if anybody is interested to know more.

The bottom line is that 01 April 03, and the days following, were probably the most stressful days of my life. Among other things, a close friend of many years had a complete psychological breakdown. A part of this involved a delusion that I was conspiring among our friends to have him committed to a mental institution.

Fearing for my own safety- I kicked my friend out of the house and we have been estranged ever since. This continues to be a great source of fear, stress, and anxiety for me as I feel that I played an integral role in his eventual breakdown. Although I never did anything to hurt my friend- I was trying to help him all along.

But he has been carrying some deep pain and trauma and I don't think I fully understood the nature of it until recently. Back "in the day" I am afraid I pushed him too hard to confront his inner demons before he was ready and before he could feel safe to do so.

At any rate- it is affecting me in this moment because I am seeking forgiveness and resolution though I am still leery of contacting this individual directly. The last I know, he was still not well, and still quite fixated on me in a negative fashion. And despite my best efforts so far, I still have a fair amount of fear and anger surrounding this incident, and I feel it wouldn't be helpful to try to reach out to him until I have found some peace within myself.

To be frank, I wonder quite often whether he is going to make another attempt on his life- or even on my life. And soon.

I can't go on like this. Literally. I can't continue to live with this knot of fear/anxiety inside me. I need to move past this in order to go forward. There is nobody left in my life that I have to "clear things up with" besides this individual.

So... my intention is that this "Incident" be resolved in the most peaceful, loving, and joyful manner possible, for the highest good of all involved.

If any would wish to join me in this intention, I would greatly appreciate the support. Namaste.

[Namaste]

I'll add you both to tonights meditation.

Another thing to do, which DW documents in The Source Field Investigations, is to think/feel:

I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

You need to do it for yourself first, until you feel more at peace, then take on your friends problems and do the same.

A Hawaiian doctor did this on a ward of mentally ill people, and it had profound effects.

Worth a pop :¬)

[Oldern]

I will meditate on this matter. But just remember, you have to make peace with what you did. It might have been wrong. But without that, you would not be where you are right now, and you would not be who you are right now.

You should smile at your most horrible mistakes, because that is the only thing that will make them go away.

[Oceania]

you've learned. you won't make the same mistake again. you know you shouldn't have pushed him and now you know better. so forgive yourself and him and send him love not guilt. ask for protection from Archangel Michael for you and him and forgive both of you. that's my 2 cents, good luck.

[Dream State]

My thoughts are with you in this matter. I am familiar with having a heavy feeling surrounding a particular thing that you just can't seem to shake off your conscience. Learning to forgive yourself and loving the choices that we make is perhaps one of the hardest lessons to learn. Full disclosure of your feelings may very well help the both of you, as well--if you were so inclined. Loving thoughts and wishes that you will soon come across the solution and find freedom and peace.

[charlie2012]

Hello Tenet Nosce!

It is a wise choice not to be approaching said friend at this moment, as you still describe yourself having fear and anger surrounding this incident/friend. Start out with determining on how you wish to proceed and concentrate your energy on what you wish to do. You say that you want to resolve the issue in a loving, peaceful and joyful manner. Are you ready to take this person into your life and keep this friend as close to you as the person closest to you right now? Not that you will have to do it, but would you be prepared to? Or is there still a bit of fear towards this person (that he/she is unstable) which tells you that even if you were to be friends again, it would be best to keep him/her at a bit of a distance, only for a while, to observe the situation?

When you fully accept this person back into your life, regardless of said persons actions (past, present and future) toward you, the "issue" will be resolved. This is unconditional love.

You say that you were trying to help him all along, remember that this is what we always do.

Namasté and best of luck

[Pablísimo]

Hi Tenet Nosce!

First of all, thank you for giving me the opportunity to pay forward a great kindness that was recently given to me by our brothers and sisters at Bring4th.

I don't know if contacting him directly would be wise given his probable current state of consciousness. However, resolution in time/space is still ever possible with his Higher Self. All that it takes is forgiveness. Of yourself and Other-self, nothing more. There is one metaphysical truth that has withstood the test of time for me. One idea that has never been incongruent or less meaningful for me no matter where my spiritual studies/seeking took me, both pre- and post Law of One: Forgiveness. This is the key to absolutely everything: Forgiveness! Of yourself and Other-selves. So simple and so complex all at once.

Now, I am certainly no sage, but my opinion is that Forgiveness and Acceptance are all that is required to heal this situation with your friend, and none of it needs to happen in space/time for it to be real, meaningful, and effective. It will dissolve the bonds of karma and transmute the anger/fear into Love, all in time/space. That said, I have actually experienced situations before where I was estranged from someone but sincerely wished to end the conflict and heal the division...and very soon after untangling the knot in meditation & prayer received unexpected, and very positive, contact with the person involved. That might happen here with you and your friend. Who knows which direction it will go for you in this case? Maybe he will contact you, maybe he won't, but whatever way this resolves itself, I know it will be the perfect outcome for you both.

I will send Reiki to your situation with your friend....both to the "present" moment now and to the "past" moment on 1 April 2003. This opportunity for Service is incredibly good timing for me. I am currently preparing myself spiritually to spend a long weekend with a friend of mine that is in great need of some help. I drive down on Friday. Now, Reiki is not something that is a huge part of my spiritual path and I do it only infrequently. However, I have been trying to practice alot this week because it is the only truly practical tool for healing -- of situations, mind, body, and spirit -- that I personally have. So, I will offer this simple gift to you, my brother, and also your friend, but most importantly to this situation in both "past" and "present" that has caused such a knot in your Being. I am still amazed at the good results that I consistently get with this spiritual tool. Your situation provides me with the perfect opportunity to practice with something that I am not emotionally involved with. This will in turn greater prepare me for my task ahead this weekend, so thank you!! This I will do for you...nay for ALL of Us... as soon as I finish my post.

I will also include you both in my evening and morning prayers to the Creator. I will send my love to help lighten your burden, even if just a bit. We are stronger when we work together with loving, positive intent and there's simply no reason you have to bear it all alone. We are with you!

Another thing to do...is to think/feel:

I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

You need to do it for yourself first, until you feel more at peace, then take on your friends problems and do the same.

This is some of the best advice I have ever read. Thank you, Namaste, for sharing this gem with us all.

So... my intention is that this "Incident" be resolved in the most peaceful, loving, and joyful manner possible, for the highest good of all involved.

Then this is the exact sentence I shall use in my prayers and meditations for you. May you both find the peace, love, and joy that is your birthright!

Love to all

[BrownEye]

An apology to him, accepting blame for transgressions, even imagined, might work. It has always worked for me in similar situations. Might try creating a visual aura of "genuine friendship and care" or just simple acceptance beforehand, to put out an energy field to sort of create a perception for him. I think possibly issues may have arisen from judgements, even if only perceived from imagination. If you are perceived as judgmental it will start the whole process over again. Fear is also not a good thing to bring to him. If he perceives fear in you it will cause him to think you are hiding something. If you are genuine in your approach, you will have assistance.

I used to hang with some scary people. Some that are doing life in prison now. Being genuine makes all the difference.

My way may not be your way. I never had problems with fear.

[Bring4th_Austin]

As I have observed some others to have a measure of success with this, I would like to ask for assistance with a personal issue that I am in the process of resolving. Some of the details are written in my wanderer awakening thread under "THE INCIDENT" if anybody is interested to know more.

The bottom line is that 01 April 03, and the days following, were probably the most stressful days of my life. Among other things, a close friend of many years had a complete psychological breakdown. A part of this involved a delusion that I was conspiring among our friends to have him committed to a mental institution.

Fearing for my own safety- I kicked my friend out of the house and we have been estranged ever since. This continues to be a great source of fear, stress, and anxiety for me as I feel that I played an integral role in his eventual breakdown. Although I never did anything to hurt my friend- I was trying to help him all along.

But he has been carrying some deep pain and trauma and I don't think I fully understood the nature of it until recently. Back "in the day" I am afraid I pushed him too hard to confront his inner demons before he was ready and before he could feel safe to do so.

At any rate- it is affecting me in this moment because I am seeking forgiveness and resolution though I am still leery of contacting this individual directly. The last I know, he was still not well, and still quite fixated on me in a negative fashion. And despite my best efforts so far, I still have a fair amount of fear and anger surrounding this incident, and I feel it wouldn't be helpful to try to reach out to him until I have found some peace within myself.

To be frank, I wonder quite often whether he is going to make another attempt on his life- or even on my life. And soon.

I can't go on like this. Literally. I can't continue to live with this knot of fear/anxiety inside me. I need to move past this in order to go forward. There is nobody left in my life that I have to "clear things up with" besides this individual.

So... my intention is that this "Incident" be resolved in the most peaceful, loving, and joyful manner possible, for the highest good of all involved.

If any would wish to join me in this intention, I would greatly appreciate the support. Namaste.

I will join you in this intention, Tenet. And gently remind that the "highest good of all involved" may not appear to be the most peaceful, loving, and joyful thing from our current perspective. However, I wish nothing but peace and comfort to you both.

[Ruth]

Tenet Nosce - thank you for trusting us with your need. I sincerely appreciate this opportunity to send love and light and Reiki to your situation, that it may be resolved to the highest good for all involved!

Peace, light, love and forgiveness!

[charlie2012]

I would like to add a perspective regarding forgiveness (as i interpret the word). It is a necessary step for many on the way to finding love, but forgiving the self and the other self insinuates that there was a wrongdoing in the first place. How can any event that we, as infinite energy, have planned for ourselves to experience in order to learn, be seen as a "mistake" that one should forgive oneself for doing?

But it all depends on how one forgives, ie. "I'm sorry that i did that/that it happened" or "I now know i had to do that/it had to happen".

[βαθμιαίος]

I'm sending you both love and light. A technique that I've found helpful is to imagine myself giving the person I'm crossed up with (sometimes myself) a big hug.

[Oceania]

i just did that in my dream.

[Oldern]

I had a friend. He was - is? - my best friend for years. Not because we were so alike, but because we were having the same hobbies and we were both normal people who did not abuse others for the fun of it, and that made us outlanders in school. Me more than him, but the kinship was there.

One issue was present, though: he always liked to bash my mistakes and dumb/unique views of the world. Therefore, when I left the city I grew up in, and went to college, I severed my bonds with him because I no longer felt that I need to spend time with him on a weekly basis when I am home, instead of being with some other friends who actually did not bash me at all. Or behind my back. Not like it matters, but hey. Different time, different views.

Now, I had this...what is to say... wound. Yes, a severed connection is a wound. No matter how much I covered it up, the more years passing, the more I realized I was an egoistic, selfish man to do something like this to a friend. A few weeks ago, however, I decided to make a difference. I marked him as a friend in Facebook, and we talked a few hours later. Turns out, he accepted the request and did not seem to hold any grudges to me (or he would not have let me contact him anyway), so we will even meet real life when he will have the time. That part does not even matter anymore: what matters is that now I know he is alright, got a girlfriend, lives on his own, and is healthy.

All these years I ignored our friendship and the bond, and pretended it does not matter. But since we are all connected, of course it matters. One should not leave bonds like this behind. Or if he/she does, gotta make sure that everything is clean and finalized in your part. I imagine naturally that a few sessions of meditating with a direct purpose (reliving all the good and bad memories, embracing it all), then a final "farewell" message with all the love and hugs that are available to you should be enough for you to not feel guilty and be at peace with the lack of positive communication from his end.

[Tenet Nosce]

Thank you for all your kind and thoughtful words, and for joining me in this intention. I can feel that the knot is beginning to open, although it is not yet undone.

What I am finding is that I am indeed most angry at myself. I feel like I let my friend down in his time of need. I perceived that I was not able to serve him, as I myself was already quite overwhelmed by the sudden breakup with a girlfriend (I initiated this, it was probably going to happen anyway, but the timing still feels like a setup) and the sudden death of an acquaintance. I failed to bring forth my love and light. I also failed to reach out for assistance thinking it was solely my cross to bear. For this I am deeply sorry.

Interestingly, I came across a couple later channellings where Hatonn came through.

One on 01 April 01, exactly two years before the incident:

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/2001/2001_0401.aspx

Group question: The question today has to do with what is the most harmonious way to achieve closure in a relationship when the person that you are trying to achieve closure with won’t talk to you? And when you feel a strong emotion in desiring to close a relationship, is there anything that you can do internally for yourself that doesn’t involve another person? How much of this is an internal process?

Another one on 26 Feb 06:

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/2006/2006_0226_2.aspx

Group question: Q’uo, today we would like to focus on some experiences that B has had recently. He’s had some very meaningful metaphysical experiences like seeing a city of light in the sky that really does seem to exist, having a contact with Titans and entities from the past that he has relationships to, and feeling his heart open in ways it has never opened before. Now he’s wondering how he can communicate this, how he can get access to this in a way that he can understand, in a way that is not intellectual, which was his previous way of understanding. We need to get some information about how to get a language of the heart that is understandable to B and that allows him to share what he’s feeling with himself and with others.

[Meerie]

Thanks for sharing, and for opening up, Tenet! I percieved you as a bit of a cynic when you started posting here couple of weeks ago, but you show more and more of your caring and loving side. That is wonderful to watch!

[Monica]

It is entirely possible to heal the relationship from a distance. You don't necessarily have to meet with him in person. You might not see the results of your healing efforts, you will know inside that something has shifted.

Here is a technique that has helped me many times, with various people whom I had conflicts with but could not talk to them in person, for some reason or another (like they had already passed on, etc.).

Visualize the person sitting in front of you, then, in your imagination, have a conversation. Tell the person all the things you would like to tell him in person if you could. Don't hold back. Tell him all the things that you were angry about, hurt about, etc. on both sides - the things you feel he did you wrong, and the things you feel you did him wrong.

Then, after you've vented for awhile, take some really deep breaths. Imagine love/forgiveness/healing coming into your aura with each breath, as a bright white light from the Sun, like you're connected to the Sun and you're being fed this beautiful healing energy.

On the exhale, visualize all the dark, thick, sticky, icky energy being released and flowing back into the Sun, where it can be transformed.

Do this a few times. Then, still visualizing the person, tell him how sorry you are for your part, and that you forgive him for his part. Scan your chakras and if you feel some residual anger, fear or resentment anywhere, move it to the area of your heart chakra. (You can move it with your attention; where your attention goes, your energy flows.)

Once the negative energy is in the heart, it can be transformed. (This part is a technique from Q'uo...I sure wish I could find the transcript!)

Then, focusing on the heart, have the intention of transforming all that anger, resentment, guilt, blame, etc. into love, and then let a bubble of light/love fill you until you are sitting inside it, like a miniature sun. Then extend that bubble of light/love to your friend, whom you're still visualizing sitting in front of you. Let that light/love just permeate both of your auras. Tell him how much you love and forgive him, and ask him to forgive you.

His Higher Self will know that you have done this exercise.

Another very powerful tool for getting to that forgiveness state is the H'oponono (sp?) which I already shared with you.

And another is The Inner Guide Meditation which works at the archetypal level.

All of these are just tools to get you into a state of love and forgiveness, thus transforming the fear, guilt, blame, anger, etc. The important thing is to transform those emotions into love and forgiveness, so any tool that can do that, is worthwhile.

Fear cannot coexist with love/forgiveness.

Fear cannot coexist with deep, slow breathing. This is the principle upon which Rebirthing is based. You might also consider finding a qualified Rebirther in your area. Rebirthing can be rather intense, but it is very effective for situations such as this!

Here's a song that has helped me transform deep anger into healing:

Digging In The Dirt

It's a really cool video, and quite profound. Watch closely for some cool stuff at the end.

I'm digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
To open up the places I got hurt

Digging in the dirt
To find the places we got hurt

I like how he changes the word from I to we at the end...

HUGS and blessings to you and to your friend!

[Tenet Nosce]

Thanks for sharing these tools and techniques! Very helpful!

Once the negative energy is in the heart, it can be transformed. (This part is a technique from Q'uo...I sure wish I could find the transcript!)

If you can recall a few keywords, you can search the transcripts using google. The query would look like this:

site:llresearch.org [keyword 1] [keyword 2]...

His Higher Self will know that you have done this exercise.

Interesting. I hadn't considered speaking directly to the Higher Self and bypassing the personality. :duh: I should have thought of this already.

Another very powerful tool for getting to that forgiveness state is the H'oponono (sp?) which I already shared with you.

Yes, I have been using that with some success. For a while I couldn't even remember all four parts. But now I can, so that is progress! LOL

Here's a song that has helped me transform deep anger into healing:

Love Peter Gabriel! But actually I don't know if I've seen this video. I did see him perform this song on the Secret World Live DVD... will check this out!

[Monica]

Love Peter Gabriel!

Ah, you have good taste!