10-23-2012, 01:59 PM
Firstly, it is beautiful to read a few welcome posts and first posts, to get the gist of how I can possibly introduce myself...I am encourgaed by the truthful and positive messages you have...I am not used to online communities - do not get me wrong, I spend a good deal on online, I am a dedicated researcher of sorts, into spirituality and metaphysics, however, I never found time for chat rooms - at least not just *any* chat room, until I stumbled on this partner site to L/L.
Naturally, I am a reserved, introverted sort, preferring to be an observer, learning the ways of people by watching. This has wonderful benefits, but I have realised, now more than ever, that in order to really learn, I must branch out into the world and touch something, and this is possibly all part of this new phase of understanding...
How am I a wanderer? Well, I guess its hard to tell in 3rd density sense. except by intuition. I know I am because I remember the little girl I was at age 2 & 3 - the thoughts I had were astute and adult, experienced. I was new to this world, but not to exisitance. Although I have these memories, my life, because of too muc observation has perhaps floated past in a blur, and I feel as a trapped bird, whos calling to flie north is barred.
David Wilcock mentions that one way wanderers can awaken is through a powerful relationship - this has been my path. When I met my partner of 8 years, just when I started uni, the veil lifted, and for the first time someone observed me. We set eachother on fire - knowledge, information, encouraging growth - not in a horribly competitive way, but in a sense of genuine change for better- indeed, we bring out the polarity in each other, sometimes unforgivingly - the best and the worst. And I wouldnt have it anyother way, beause having him in my life has made me strong, and after years of depression and isolation, alienated in my own family, I realised my magic - me.
We have changed eachother, grown together like two old trees, and all those around us have either met the challenge we set (unknowingly) and grew with us, or found their paths - I consider it a great undoing of my 5-ness (in the enneagramatic sense) that I have been able to learn to share all the accumulated wisdom, and to have some reception.
These thig dont come free, and apowerful relationship requires considerable energy and dedication, both of which do not come naturally to moe, but has been painfully learned. I havent been too specific, because I get bogged in details....sorry, I have written a novel already - one more paragraph and I'll quiet down :-D
This brings us to now, within me is a great divide, "The Choice" as I have found the term fitting from LOO. As one part grows rapidly, another part also does -the shadow-self, and this has occassionally overwhelmed me. I am stuck in inertia, as I am not sure if by focussing on this to much, I am being self-inulgent, or am I learning. And then at any moment, I may drown in knowledge and mire my self by not doing anyhting! With my creativity stuffed down, it has quickly manifested as as anger...and myday to day struggle consists of managing this frustration.
Ill have to leave it there, because I am ranting - very easy for me to do with pen to paper.
I thank you for reading this, and my heart is gladdened to have found a community in service to the LOO, as this information changed my life, every day, when I have the capacity to think on it.
Love and Light to you
Valainistima
Naturally, I am a reserved, introverted sort, preferring to be an observer, learning the ways of people by watching. This has wonderful benefits, but I have realised, now more than ever, that in order to really learn, I must branch out into the world and touch something, and this is possibly all part of this new phase of understanding...
How am I a wanderer? Well, I guess its hard to tell in 3rd density sense. except by intuition. I know I am because I remember the little girl I was at age 2 & 3 - the thoughts I had were astute and adult, experienced. I was new to this world, but not to exisitance. Although I have these memories, my life, because of too muc observation has perhaps floated past in a blur, and I feel as a trapped bird, whos calling to flie north is barred.
David Wilcock mentions that one way wanderers can awaken is through a powerful relationship - this has been my path. When I met my partner of 8 years, just when I started uni, the veil lifted, and for the first time someone observed me. We set eachother on fire - knowledge, information, encouraging growth - not in a horribly competitive way, but in a sense of genuine change for better- indeed, we bring out the polarity in each other, sometimes unforgivingly - the best and the worst. And I wouldnt have it anyother way, beause having him in my life has made me strong, and after years of depression and isolation, alienated in my own family, I realised my magic - me.
We have changed eachother, grown together like two old trees, and all those around us have either met the challenge we set (unknowingly) and grew with us, or found their paths - I consider it a great undoing of my 5-ness (in the enneagramatic sense) that I have been able to learn to share all the accumulated wisdom, and to have some reception.
These thig dont come free, and apowerful relationship requires considerable energy and dedication, both of which do not come naturally to moe, but has been painfully learned. I havent been too specific, because I get bogged in details....sorry, I have written a novel already - one more paragraph and I'll quiet down :-D
This brings us to now, within me is a great divide, "The Choice" as I have found the term fitting from LOO. As one part grows rapidly, another part also does -the shadow-self, and this has occassionally overwhelmed me. I am stuck in inertia, as I am not sure if by focussing on this to much, I am being self-inulgent, or am I learning. And then at any moment, I may drown in knowledge and mire my self by not doing anyhting! With my creativity stuffed down, it has quickly manifested as as anger...and myday to day struggle consists of managing this frustration.
Ill have to leave it there, because I am ranting - very easy for me to do with pen to paper.
I thank you for reading this, and my heart is gladdened to have found a community in service to the LOO, as this information changed my life, every day, when I have the capacity to think on it.
Love and Light to you
Valainistima
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)
