Finally greeting everyone
01-26-2010, 03:49 AM,
#1
Finally greeting everyone
I've been frequenting the forums since I read the LOO books early last year, but I have never actually said hello. It has taken a catalyst in my work life to bring me here, but all the better. So hello everyone! I feel grateful for having found this forum, and I too greet everyone in love and light.

I am 26 years old, but I feel like I've been living much longer than that. The idea of being a wanderer resonated with me because I've felt very different from everyone around me and everyone that I've met since I was a child. I've always been highly sensitive (HSP), which has definitely led me to this path I'm on now.

I had an interesting childhood. Although my family was well-to-do and we were well-off in a material sense, my father had many demons. He was an authoritarian parent--physically and emotionally abusive toward my brothers and I since we were very small. I remember the first "awakened" feeling I had when I was around 10 years old. I looked at my father and for a few moments, I didn't recognize him as my father anymore. I suddenly felt a deep sense of compassion for him as a human being. I was accustomed to bottling up anger and having a constant feeling of fear around him. So it seems like this small experience was the first time that I was able to step outside of my ego/illusion. Not too long after this, I realized that what my father was doing was wrong and that he could get in trouble for it. In a moment of courage, I stated this fact to him and he realized what I knew. While the physical violence died away, the emotional abuse continued (less frequently) for years. My mother was submissive and never stopped my father from doing this. She loved us very much, but I also know that her mother was abusive to her as a child. When I was a child, I blamed her, but since coming to this newer phase in my life, all of that has fallen away.

Even though there were negative aspects of my father, I did inherit from him a love literature and writing in addition to science fiction and a fascination for aliens/intelligent life/UFOs. My father believed that he was abducted by aliens when he was in his 20s. We never doubted his claims, and I do still believe in his experiences.

I fell into a deep depression and sense of alienation during my teen years and went through long periods of isolation. I spent a lot of time on the internet seeking friendships with people outside of the small town that I lived in. I searched for like-minded people my age and found some on a the forum of my favorite band. This was my one solace and I began to develop a closer relationship with a boy online that would go on for years before we finally met.

I entered college in my hometown unwillingly (I was completely undecided), but enjoyed my first year. Before I graduated high school, I had a vision of what I wanted to be. I simply imagined myself trekking the globe, meeting and helping different people. I didn't know exactly what it meant, but it seemed to be my one ideal life.

After my first year of college, I decided that I needed to get away from home. I applied to a school 4 hours away from home. I felt excited to be independent, but dorm life proved to be too jarring and intense for my senses. So I moved into an apartment with my parents' help. This turned out to be a great catalyst. I suffered from bouts of extreme anxiety and depression. Living alone magnified the intense mental states that I was going through. I turned more to my online friend and I began talking to him on the phone. After about 4 months, we finally met when I bought a plane ticket to fly from the Midwest to the West Coast. In turn, my entire life was whirled into a gigantic tornado.

My parents, being Muslim, were afraid, angry, scolding and saying everything they could possibly say to get me to come home when I went away. Finally, they flew across the country to get me. I came home, upset and in a state of confusion. All of this occurred over a period of about two weeks. I was prescribed an anti-depressant (which I later stopped taking), found a new apartment, and started school again. While I was away, my boyfriend decided that he could not live on the West Coast without me. He left and came to live with me without my parents' knowledge. After a few months, I confronted them with the truth. Instead of forcing him to leave (as they would have it), we both found jobs and I continued school. Despite my parents' concerns, I continued to excel academically, even while going through immense emotional turmoil with my family adjusting to the idea of me living with my boyfriend.

Our first two years together were very hard, but this catalyst helped us come to a higher state together. We began learning about meditation and practicing regularly. My interest began when I was a teenager and had learned about Buddhism through internet research; this was my first time attempting meditation seriously. My boyfriend's brother soon lent him meditation CDs. He took to listening to these and preferred it to meditation. I listened a few times, but preferred meditating without them. Little did he know, this would aid him in having his own awakening experience. While I was fascinated by what happened, I quietly felt somewhat envious and did not understand what he had been through. Disappointed, I stopped meditating regularly for a year. It wasn't until after I graduated that I would find meditation again.

After I graduated, I began working at a Montessori preschool. I loved working with children and I felt happiest teaching them about gardening and caring for plants and creatures. During this period, I began meditating regularly and having vivid and lucid dreams. After several months of meditating regularly, I had a vivid dream about UFOs. I was laying on the ground at my college campus with a large group of people, including a coworker (who's a special friend to me), staring at the sky while the stars began to come out. We saw lights, and my friend sat up and showed me a large scroll that he made (he's an artist). Suddenly we were transported to a small, rustic room and it was daylight. He showed me a diagram of the Earth on the page with small yellow triangles gathering around it on one side. I asked why they were there. And he said something like,"They'll continue to come until human growth butchering stops." I know it's really odd phrasing, but that's all that I can remember! I awakened then and the crown of my head was very sore and my ears were ringing loudly. I felt that this was a message, and so I began intensely researching UFOs and intelligent life again. I read about Iargans, Pleiadians, Star Seeds, and anything that I hadn't encountered in the past that would resonate. Then I was watching an alien/UFO video online and it was ONE person's comment about the video which briefly mentioned LOO that caught my attention.

And so I'm here at this forum. I've since moved to the West Coast and I continue to meditate regularly and do yoga. My sense of place and purpose in the world is entirely different than it has ever been. It remains positive even though I don't feel that I have a set path yet. Understanding my past as well as my present experiences as catalysts has helped me immensely. I have felt much joy in these last couple of years of my life. I understand that I'm here to share myself in many ways and hope to learn more with time.

Thanks for your patience!

origin
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01-26-2010, 05:07 AM,
#2
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Hi Origin!
So very welcome here.
There are no set paths... Only the paths you set... Tongue
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01-26-2010, 06:03 AM,
#3
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Dear Origin

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. Im glad you stood up
to your father and that the physical abuse stopped. Nobody deserves
to be abused by another human being and no human being has the
right to abuse another. We are all equals.
We welcome you with all our hearts HeartHeartHeart

peace love and light
HeartHeartHeart norral HeartHeartHeart
Heart THE REVOLUTION HAS STARTED Heart
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01-26-2010, 07:12 AM,
#4
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Great story.. I look forward to seeing more of you Smile
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01-26-2010, 07:57 AM,
#5
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Good Greetings! Thank you for being here now. I would like to know a little more about the Iargans.

So many of us Wanderers are born to those who know not what they do.

Love-

fairyfarmgirl
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01-26-2010, 10:17 AM,
#6
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Welcome. Have you started studying the Law of One books yet? You will find much of great value there.
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01-26-2010, 12:19 PM,
#7
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Welcome origin Smile It brings us joy to have you among us. I look forward to your participation and being there to help you understand your own path.
I would request for all of those reading my words, please guard well your thoughts. If my words resonate, then by all means take them and use them as you can. If they do not resonate, please let them fall away like water does from a ducks back, and move on. Love/Light, Adonai.
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01-26-2010, 01:13 PM, (This post was last modified: 01-26-2010, 01:28 PM by origin.)
#8
RE: Finally greeting everyone
(01-26-2010, 05:07 AM)Ali Quadir Wrote:  Hi Origin!
So very welcome here.
There are no set paths... Only the paths you set... Tongue


Hi Ali,
Thanks for your comment! I should say that I have not made a broad choice in my future, although I continue to write poetry and paint (both, among others, are my passions). Look forward to talking more with you here!

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 06:03 AM)norral Wrote:  Dear Origin

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. Im glad you stood up
to your father and that the physical abuse stopped. Nobody deserves
to be abused by another human being and no human being has the
right to abuse another. We are all equals.
We welcome you with all our hearts HeartHeartHeart

peace love and light
HeartHeartHeart norral HeartHeartHeart

Norral,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It's a relief to be able to tell my story to a community of people and feel so loved and accepted!

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 07:12 AM)ayadew Wrote:  Great story.. I look forward to seeing more of you Smile

Thank you for reading, Ayadew. I look forward to talking with you more as well as the rest of the community!


love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 10:17 AM)Eddie Wrote:  Welcome. Have you started studying the Law of One books yet? You will find much of great value there.

Dear Eddie,
Yes, I have been studying the LOO books and they have been tremendously enlightening. You have the same name as one of my brothers---a good sign. Thank you for your welcome!

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 07:57 AM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  Good Greetings! Thank you for being here now. I would like to know a little more about the Iargans.

So many of us Wanderers are born to those who know not what they do.

Love-

fairyfarmgirl

Hi fairyfarmgirl,
Thank you for reading! I read your personal wanderer story and it really resonated with me! Here's a link to the story of the Iargans: http://www.galactic-server.net/rune/iarga.html
I found it very fascinating when I first came across it, although LOO definitely resonates more for me. Still, it's an interesting read. Anyway, hope to see more of you here!

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 12:19 PM)Peregrinus Wrote:  Welcome origin Smile It brings us joy to have you among us. I look forward to your participation and being there to help you understand your own path.

Thank you Peregrinus! It's wonderful to finally speak to everyone here! Everyone seems incredibly positive.

love and light,
origin
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01-26-2010, 02:48 PM,
#9
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Hey, great to see you here! I think a lot of Wanderers constantly combat depression and a sense of alienation. That's why its good to have forums like this so we can support each other. We're not alone!

love and light,
Lynn
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01-26-2010, 04:19 PM,
#10
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Thank you for the Link. I know these beings by another name: The Emissaries.

fairyfarmgirl
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01-26-2010, 04:42 PM, (This post was last modified: 01-26-2010, 04:43 PM by origin.)
#11
RE: Finally greeting everyone
(01-26-2010, 02:48 PM)ahktu Wrote:  Hey, great to see you here! I think a lot of Wanderers constantly combat depression and a sense of alienation. That's why its good to have forums like this so we can support each other. We're not alone!

love and light,
Lynn

Hello Lynn/ahktu,
Thank you! And it is great to find a supportive community of people. I hope to get to know everyone better in time.

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 04:19 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  Thank you for the Link. I know these beings by another name: The Emissaries.

fairyfarmgirl

That's interesting fairyfarmgirl. How did you find The Emissaries?
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01-27-2010, 02:52 PM,
#12
RE: Finally greeting everyone
(01-26-2010, 04:42 PM)origin Wrote:  
(01-26-2010, 02:48 PM)ahktu Wrote:  Hey, great to see you here! I think a lot of Wanderers constantly combat depression and a sense of alienation. That's why its good to have forums like this so we can support each other. We're not alone!

love and light,
Lynn

Hello Lynn/ahktu,
Thank you! And it is great to find a supportive community of people. I hope to get to know everyone better in time.

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 04:19 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  Thank you for the Link. I know these beings by another name: The Emissaries.

fairyfarmgirl

That's interesting fairyfarmgirl. How did you find The Emissaries?

I am not sure finding them would be the appropriate way of putting it. They appear to me when I am doing metaphysical work. They look like the picture. I could of course have mistaken them for another type of Friend from the sky. I am reading the book you linked.
--fairyfarmgirl
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01-28-2010, 01:37 AM,
#13
RE: Finally greeting everyone
(01-27-2010, 02:52 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  
(01-26-2010, 04:42 PM)origin Wrote:  
(01-26-2010, 02:48 PM)ahktu Wrote:  Hey, great to see you here! I think a lot of Wanderers constantly combat depression and a sense of alienation. That's why its good to have forums like this so we can support each other. We're not alone!

love and light,
Lynn

Hello Lynn/ahktu,
Thank you! And it is great to find a supportive community of people. I hope to get to know everyone better in time.

love and light,
origin
(01-26-2010, 04:19 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote:  Thank you for the Link. I know these beings by another name: The Emissaries.

fairyfarmgirl

That's interesting fairyfarmgirl. How did you find The Emissaries?

I am not sure finding them would be the appropriate way of putting it. They appear to me when I am doing metaphysical work. They look like the picture. I could of course have mistaken them for another type of Friend from the sky. I am reading the book you linked.
--fairyfarmgirl


Oh, fascinating. You'll have to direct me to more information about that.

love and light,
origin
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02-10-2010, 02:44 PM,
#14
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Hi Origin, you've already been warmly welcomed to the forum! Sorry I missed your post earlier.

There are several things you brought up that could be interesting discussion threads of their own.
Quote:...love of literature and writing...
I like your writing style, it's very easy to read with your storytelling. If you were to present a talk about your experiences and thought process, I'd be quite spellbound in the audience.

I'm sad that you were subjected to cruelty from your parents. Amazing that on your own, you were able to identify that this was inappropriate and stand up for yourself. Your parents seem to have later had more maturity to accept your relationship. Mine were quite bitterly disappointed and never forgave my "living in sin" with my first intense whirlwind relationship.

Quote:I simply imagined myself trekking the globe, meeting and helping different people.
I think I saw a cool TV show about that. Smile

Did you have any identification with Muslim tenets, or was it just what your parents were into? I know only a little about the Muslim faith. I know that it does have some deeply spiritual branches, such as Sufism. Ali Quadar shared a Muslim perspective on the Law of One in his posts here.

I know that there are also some extremely negative aspects of the Muslim faith as applied by some very negative people. If they look hard enough, they can find a way to justify a negative path of evil with quotes from the Koran. My impression is that the world of Islam is large and diverse. And the Koran has enough different types of concepts inside it. So it's difficult to make any generalizations about a person's polarity or spirituality just because they're Muslim.

Buddhism has a lot of deep thoughts. Have you felt any ongoing connection or interest with it? Or was it just an incidental part of your path to learn about meditation?

Quote:I loved working with children and I felt happiest teaching them about gardening and caring for plants and creatures.
I'd like to learn more about Montessori education. Ra and Q'uo have some delightful comments about the 2nd Density's (plants & animals) loving nature.

I hope you don't mind my asking, to help understand: Did your guy come with you to the West Coast, or are you making a fresh start on your own?

With your background in the study of UFO's, I highly recommend that you consider this sequence for the L/L Research material. Start with "About us" at the top of this page; then visit the Library and read "Secrets of the UFO" first, then "Esmerelda." This will take you through LLR's UFO encounter material in historical sequence, just as they went through a process of investigation similar to your own. After that, explore the Ra books, Wanderer's and Channeler's books in any order you like. Just a suggestion, that I feel might resonate with your own background.
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02-23-2010, 03:12 PM, (This post was last modified: 02-23-2010, 05:55 PM by origin.)
#15
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Hi Questioner. Thank you for your comments! I have been restless and busy for the past couple of weeks, so I have not been on the forums as much, but I am happy to be welcomed warmly to this community.

**Did you have any identification with Muslim tenets, or was it just what your parents were into? I know only a little about the Muslim faith. I know that it does have some deeply spiritual branches, such as Sufism. Ali Quadar shared a Muslim perspective on the Law of One in his posts here.

I used to be devoted to Islam until I was 15, and then I realized something. The God that I learned about through Islam was not the God that resonated in my own heart. I had a very personal perception of the Creator and I made a conscious decision to follow my inner voice.



**Buddhism has a lot of deep thoughts. Have you felt any ongoing connection or interest with it? Or was it just an incidental part of your path to learn about meditation?

I have had an ongoing interest in Buddhism since I was a teenager. I suppose that this initial exposure to it helped me along the path that I am on now.



**I hope you don't mind my asking, to help understand: Did your guy come with you to the West Coast, or are you making a fresh start on your own?

I am with him and he is with me. I am contemplating the nature of love, destiny, and intimate relationships at this moment in my life.

**With your background in the study of UFO's, I highly recommend that you consider this sequence for the L/L Research material. Start with "About us" at the top of this page; then visit the Library and read "Secrets of the UFO" first, then "Esmerelda." This will take you through LLR's UFO encounter material in historical sequence, just as they went through a process of investigation similar to your own. After that, explore the Ra books, Wanderer's and Channeler's books in any order you like. Just a suggestion, that I feel might resonate with your own background.
[/quote]

Although I have read all the Ra books (speedily, so now I may go back through slowly!), I have not read "Secrets of the UFO" or "Esmeralda." I was looking into reading the Wanderer's Handbook next, but I have to say that my reading list is now 10+. It keeps growing!

Again, thank you for your thoughts.

love and light,
origin
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” ~Rumi
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02-23-2010, 03:26 PM,
#16
RE: Finally greeting everyone
Hello Origin and welcome to the forum. I think you will be at home here.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~Yogi Tea~
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02-23-2010, 04:48 PM,
#17
RE: Finally greeting everyone
(02-23-2010, 03:26 PM)haqiqu Wrote:  Hello Origin and welcome to the forum. I think you will be at home here.


Thank you, haqiqu.

love and light,
origin
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” ~Rumi
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