I did the Morning Offering and then got myself ready for the day. Today the Ra quote comes from 94.7:

Questioner: Could you tell me why I have felt so extremely tired on several recent occasions?

Ra: I am Ra. This has been covered in previous material.

The contact which you now experience costs a certain amount of the energy which each of the group brought into manifestation in the present incarnation. Although the brunt of this cost falls upon the instrument, it is caparisoned by pre-incarnative design with the light and gladsome armor of faith and will to a far more conscious extent than most mind/body/spirit complexes are able to enjoy without much training and initiation.

Those of the support group also offer the essence of will and faith in service to others, supporting the instrument as it releases itself completely in the service of the One Creator. Therefore, each of the support group also experiences a weariness of the spirit which is indistinguishable from physical energy deficit, except that if each experiments with this weariness, each shall discover the physical energy in its usual distortion.”

Don asked the simple question as to why he had been feeling so tired recently. Ra had previously spoken to Carla’s feeling so tired because of her taking on some of the characteristics of the density of light where she would be resting as Ra used her body to respond to Don’s questions. As she took on more of the light of that fifth density, this third-density illusion felt “heavier” to her, and she felt tired. Ra said that this effect was cumulative but did not actually involve the physical energy. If we used our physical energy it would still be there, but we would feel tired. In 81.2-.7, Ra first gave us information about this wearying effect that was part of the Ra contact:

Questioner: Is this the reason for the instrument’s feeling of uninterrupted weariness?

Ra: I am Ra. There are portions of your space/time in which this may be said to be symptomatic of the psychic greeting reaction. However, the continual weariness is not due to psychic greeting but is, rather, an inevitable consequence of this contact.

Questioner: Why is this an inevitable consequence? What is the mechanism of contact creating weariness?

Ra: I am Ra. The mechanism creating weariness is that connection betwixt the density wherein this instrument’s mind/body/spirit complex is safely kept during these workings, and the altogether variant density in which the instrument’s physical body complex resides at this space/time. As the instrument takes on more of the coloration of the resting density, the third-density experience seems more heavy and wearisome.

This was accepted by the instrument, as it desired to be of service. Therefore, we accept also this effect about which nothing of which we are aware may be done.

Questioner: Is the effect a function of the number of sessions, and has it reached a peak level, or will it continue to increase in effect?

Ra: I am Ra. This wearying effect will continue but should not be confused with the physical energy levels having only to do with the, as you would call it, daily round of experience.

In this sphere those things which are known already to aid this instrument will continue to be of aid. You will, however, notice the gradual increase in transparency, shall we say, of the vibrations of the instrument.

Questioner: I didn’t understand what you meant by that last statement. Would you explain?

Ra: I am Ra. Weariness of the time/space nature may be seen to be that reaction of transparent or pure vibrations with impure, confused, or opaque environs.

Questioner: Is there any of this effect upon the other two of us in this group?

Ra: I am Ra. This is quite correct.

Questioner: Then we would also experience the uninterrupted wearying effect as a consequence of the contact. Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. The instrument, by the very nature of the contact, bears the brunt of this effect.

Each of the support group, by offering the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator in unqualified support in these workings, and in energy transfers for the purpose of these workings, experiences between 10 and 15 percent, roughly, of this effect. It is cumulative and identical in the continual nature of its manifestation.

Ra added that, though Don and I would also experience some of this wearying effect, Carla bore the brunt of it, but she had been able to adjust to it by exercising her faith and will that all was well and that all would be well. In fact, Ra said that she had adjusted far better than many who had extensive training and initiation. Carla had no training or initiation. She just seemed to have a gift that she brought with her into this life to do this work. In 81.8, Ra responded to Don’s question of what the outcome for our group might be concerning this wearying effect:

Questioner: What could be the result of this continued wearying effect after a long period?

Ra: I am Ra. You ask a general query with infinite answers. We shall over-generalize in order to attempt to reply.

One group might be tempted and thus lose the very contact which caused the difficulty. So the story would end.

Another group might be strong at first but not faithful in the face of difficulty. Thus the story would end.

Another group might choose the path of martyrdom in its completeness and use the instrument until its physical body complex failed from the harsh toll demanded when all energy was gone.

This particular group, at this particular nexus, is attempting to conserve the vital energy of the instrument. It is attempting to balance love of service and wisdom of service, and it is faithful to the service in the face of difficulty. Temptation has not yet ended this group’s story.

We may not know the future, but the probability of this situation continuing over a relatively substantial period of your space/time is large. The significant factor is the will of the instrument and of the group to serve. That is the only cause for balancing the slowly increasing weariness which will continue to distort your perceptions. Without this will the contact might be possible but finally seem too much of an effort.

For a number of years after the Ra contact both Carla and I felt this wearying feeling, but we didn’t let it stop us from being as physically active as we wanted to be. After 40 years now I’ve just gotten used to it and really don’t notice it much. It’s just one of those little curiosities that got mixed in with the magic and the mystery of the Ra Contact.

Chloe passed into larger life this morning shortly after 4 am. She had slept the night beside me in my bed as she always has done these past few years. We went to bed around 9:30 last night and about an hour later I was awakened when I felt one of her front paws caressing my back as I lay on my right side. She usually slept on my left hip through the night which caused me to give her the name of my cuddle bug. But she was too weak to do that last night, so she caressed me instead.

After I got up around 3:15 and prepared to have my first meditation of the day, I noticed that she had slumped off of the pillow I had laid her on these last few days. She seemed to have lost control of her body. As I came over to the bed to see how she was doing I brought her body off the pillow and laid it on the bed and began petting her to let her know how much I loved her. She began to release a series of deep breaths almost as a kind of cough. I remembered that Carla did the same as she passed into larger life seven years ago. I continued to pet her and tell her how our love for each other would forever bind us as one. I thanked her for being with me for 16 and one-half years and for all the good times that we had together.

I wrapped her body in the yellow towel that I had put on top of a pillow that she has spent a good deal of time on these last few days, and then I put her in a box that was used to ship Carla’s Living the Law of One 101: The Choice. I always bury my kitties in L/L Research book boxes. Diana joined me via cell phone for Choe’s funeral service. We read a service for pets that Carla had created from her Episcopal Church services. Chloe and I enjoyed 16 and one-half years together, and I will miss her as much as I love her. I told her that we are bound together forever by the love in our hearts for each other, and I believe that is true.

From A Book of Days, channeled by Carla L. Rueckert:

June 30

The Natural Darkness Of Flesh

I am the voice of Christ’s consciousness of love to the world and I greet you in the love of Jesus the Christ.

This instrument has long pondered why there is discomfort to the instrument when the instrument begins to tune itself and prepare for contact with the spirit of the living God. Know ye that you are both light and darkness. As it has been written, the light came into the world, but the darkness knew it not.

One who seeks the living spirit that speaks to the world today seeks the light which the world recognizes not, nor does the body in the natural darkness of flesh.

Thusly, when the mind and spirit are entrained to a higher and more compassionate tuning, there is created within the being a unity in which one part does not recognize the other. The light does not recognize the darkness, nor the darkness, the light.

Know that you are both and that your choice is always the darkness of a world which has not thought of Christ or the light which is the powerful and renewing thought of Christ in the world.

We leave you in peace, both now and through eternity. Amen.

I said the prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight:

We come in the name of Love and open our hearts, our minds, and our souls to send love, light, and healing energies to Mother Earth as she brings forth a New Earth in fourth density. We ask that the infinite love, light, and healing energies of the One Infinite Creator heal the heart of each soul in pain on Earth tonight. May all souls on Earth feel our love, light, and healing energies in their hearts, in their minds, and in their souls. Amen.