2023-03-19

I did the Morning Offering and then got myself ready for the day. Today the 102 quote comes from the Prologue and the section on we three:

We Three

Don, Carla and I shared a unique and very harmonious configuration of energies. By the time I arrived, Don had chosen a life of celibacy but loved Carla dearly. Carla likewise adored Don but did not prefer celibacy. I was, at first, a recluse who liked to spend my free time in the wilderness. Carla and I eventually enjoyed an intimate relationship that was grounded in loving friendship, which would one day evolve into a deep and meaningful romance. Don and I were, of course, friends from the start, trusting in our mutual love for Carla, each supportive of the other. The Ra contact began only a few weeks after I arrived to aid Don and Carla’s truth-seeking mission. Once the contact was underway, Don, Carla, and I each had a role to play, and we faced the Choice together, day by day.

Perhaps Carla’s most concentrated act of selflessness was to risk her own life, and more, to sustain the Ra contact, serving as what Ra called “the instrument.” Willingly going into trance and allowing Ra to speak through her took a huge toll on her body despite everyone’s efforts, Ra’s included, to maintain her wellness. The sessions rapidly used up physical material to the extent that Carla was eating all the food she could and still losing two to three pounds per session in the beginning of the Ra contact. All the while, a negative fifth-density entity was, according to Ra, orchestrating ways to end Carla’s already-delicate life. Carla was urged by Ra to consider how martyring herself to the contact, though selfless, would run counter to her goal of sustaining communication with Ra. She was advised to rely on Don and me to help her evaluate whether she was vital enough for another session, for Carla’s irrepressible will to serve superseded all physical limitation, and our fifth-density friend was aware that the instrument could be encouraged to overdo it and risk her fragile life at any moment. Fortunately, Carla chose wisely and we three worked together to keep the contact going for as long as possible until Don’s passing.

For Don, the contact was his ultimate joy. He would meditate to receive ideas about the questions he would ask Ra, sometimes drawing with a finger in the air to work out complex thoughts. Don was brilliant and, some would say, uncannily well-suited in his role as “the questioner”. It cannot be a coincidence that his knowledge of physics and his deep appreciation for metaphysics often allowed him to instantly understand Ra and to ask such intelligent and poignant questions with relative ease. Don took Ra’s advice with the utmost seriousness, attending to each detail that would help protect and prolong the contact. Until his mental health began to deteriorate, Don was an extremely calm, sharp and focused individual, giving all that he had to our work together while also supporting us financially as an airline pilot so that we could carry on without worry over our basic needs being met.

My role during those golden days of shared service was as “the scribe” and a “battery” for the contact. From the beginning to the end of each session with Ra, I would meditate, visualizing white light that contained every color of the rainbow entering Carla’s crown chakra, radiating out of each energy center, then emanating out of her feet and circulating back to her crown. Carla and I eventually discovered that our lovemaking between sessions also helped to prolong the contact by transferring vital energy to Carla that would increase her stamina when she was in trance, so that the contact did not draw so heavily upon her personal reserves of life force, as the latter posed a great risk to her physical vehicle. In 79.4 Ra described how this sexual energy transfer aided the Ra contact:

Questioner: In that case, she would like to know the function of the energy transfer during the session.

Ra: I am Ra. The function of this energy transfer is a most helpful one in that it serves to strengthen the shuttle through which the instreaming contact is received. The contact itself will monitor the condition of the instrument and cease communication when the distortions of the instrument begin to fluctuate towards the distortions of weakness or pain. However, while the contact is ongoing the strength of the channel through which this contact flows may be aided by the energy transfer of which you spoke.

Also, as the “scribe,” as Ra called me, I would listen to the cassette tapes after every session and transcribe them on my electric typewriter. My other roles included keeping up with the household chores and repairs, cooking, and aiding Carla in managing daily life with her delicate, arthritic physical vehicle. However, I’d say that, just like Don and Carla, my most basic role in the contact was a passive one: as Ra explained, the effortless harmony that existed between me, Carla, and Don is what made it all possible, and that was reportedly due to our many lifetimes spent in service to one another. In 9.2, Ra shared some information about our previous lives together:

Questioner: Is it possible for you to tell us of anything in our past incarnations, our past experiences before this incarnation?

Ra: I am Ra. It is possible. However, such information as this is carefully guarded by your mind/body/spirit being totality so that your present space/time experiences will be undiluted.

Let us scan for harmless material for your beingness. [20-second pause.] I am, in the distortion of desire for your freedom from preconception, able to speak only generally. There have been several times when this group worked and dwelt together. The relationships varied. There is balanced karma, as you call it; each thus the teacher of each. The work has involved healing, understanding the uses of the earth energy, and work in aid of civilizations which called just as your sphere has done and we have come. This ends the material which we consider harmless.

The Ra contact came to a tragic end with Don’s suicide on November 7, 1984. There were so many extraordinarily unique metaphysical factors that contributed to his passing that I wrote an essay about it, which can be read by Googling its title on the internet: “The 34th Anniversary of the Passing of Don Elkins.” After Don’s passing Carla saw him in waking visions where he let her know that “Everything turned out the way it was meant to be, but she wouldn’t understand that until she too passed through death’s door.” Though I certainly don’t know how that may be true, I also feel that it is true.

Throughout our thirty-one years together after Don’s passing, Carla and I took every opportunity to share the philosophy of the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the One Infinite Creator. We offered weekly channeling meditations; we taught students how to channel; we held workshops around the country to share Confederation philosophy; Carla wrote A Channeling Handbook and A Wanderer’s Handbook; she channeled A Book of Days: Channelings From the Holy Spirit. We began holding our Homecoming Gathering on Labor Day weekend beginning in 1995, and Carla offered herself as a counselor and spiritual advisor to anyone who wished to take advantage of her deep thoughts and feelings regarding the spiritual path and how people might translate their problems to a means of enhancing their own seeking process. Carla remained a tireless devotee of Christ, singing choral hymns of praise and serving in her church in as many other ways as her frail body would allow.

It took about six years for Carla to go through the grieving process for Don’s passing, but she and I knew that our work for the rest of our lives would be to attempt to fulfill Don’s dream to make the information from the Ra contact available to the entire world for free. The eventual birth and growth of the internet made it possible to do that, allowing us to offer all of our material to read or download for free to any interested seekers around the world who can find it on our website www.llresearch.org.

When Don was alive, he and Carla were unmarried, but they were joined in deep love and devotion. As Ra said: “These two entities have been as one for a timeless period and have manifested this in your space/time.” At first, Carla and I loved each other, but not in a romantic way. However, after Don’s passing, we felt that since we planned to be together for the rest of our lives in attempting to be of service to others that the most magical and powerful way to do that would be if we consciously attempted to live and grow together as mates. So, we married on May 30, 1987, symbolizing our inner commitment to shared spiritual seeking. And, of course, she and I eventually fell head over heels in love with each other.

In 2002 I started a lawn service to help sustain us and would continue that for eleven years, as the monies left to us by Don had dwindled. We soon opened our home to various seekers who wished to live in community and study the Law of One. A young seeker named Gary Bean arrived in 2003 and would eventually become a skilled administrator of L/L Research, serving as director and then co-director.

At that time, Carla busied herself with service to her church, healing her body, cooking delicious meals, mentoring members of the L/L readership, and producing all kinds of spiritual material through channeling and writing. In 2005 she made a trip to England to speak at five different locations. She wanted to let readers know how the trip went, and so she began the Camelot Journal, an online blog. When she returned home, she decided to keep the journal going as a means of letting readers know what a day in the life of L/L Research was like.

The last four years of Carla’s life were spent in our room in a hospital bed as she attempted to recover from two surgeries, one on her upper back (2010) which was successful in helping her to type again, and one on her lower back (2011) which created an open wound that never healed. I took over writing the Camelot Journal after the second surgery and continue it to this day, though now I write about my own daily life and share my spiritual studies and thoughts on the Law of One. In 2013, another gift from the Creator arrived in the form of Austin Bridges, a seeker who would join Gary in managing the organization.

Carla’s being confined to her hospital bed allowed her to do some major incarnational balancing work as Ra described in this quote:

“As we have said, this instrument, feeling that it lacked compassion to balance wisdom, chose an incarnative experience whereby it was of necessity placed in situations of accepting self in the absence of other-selves’ acceptance and the acceptance of other-self without expecting a return or energy transfer. This is not an easy program for an incarnation but was deemed proper by this entity.

This entity therefore must needs meditate and consciously, moment by moment, accept the self in its limitations which have been placed for the very purpose of bringing this entity to the precise tuning we are using. Further, having learned to radiate acceptance and love without expecting return, this entity now must balance this by learning to accept the gifts of love and acceptance of others which this instrument feels some discomfort in accepting. These two balancing workings will aid this entity in the release from the distortion called pain. The limitations are, to a great extent, fixed.”[1]

Carla spent her childhood giving without expectation of return. Being confined to the hospital bed allowed her to “to accept the gifts of love and acceptance of others” as she needed to have so much done for her that she could no longer do for herself.

And I learned how to open my heart in unconditional love as never before as her primary caregiver. My service to Carla included helping her to dress for outings to the doctor, cooking our meals, administering Carla’s medications, sitting by her while we watched TV and then, when her eyesight failed her, I read a number of books to her. I also changed the dressings on Carla’s surgical wound, helped her with personal care, and massaged her sore neck, shoulders, feet, and hands. We always shared the Morning Offering and meditated twice each day. This lasted for four years, until Carla passed into larger life on April 1, 2015.

I discovered that my experience serving Carla had opened my heart to all beings. Since her passing, this heart-opening has allowed me to carry on Carla’s legacy of sharing the Law of One with our L/L family. I have continued to offer public meditations in our home. I have narrated as audio books all the volumes Carla wrote or channeled. There is an ongoing practice channeling meditation with four other members of L/L Research. My meditative practice has naturally deepened over time, and I still clean and tend to this beautiful, beloved house, caring for several kitties and for the gardens that always gave Carla such enjoyment.

Today and for a number of years, L/L Research is blessed by the tireless work and leadership of three wonderful, dedicated spiritual friends who also exemplify living the Choice: Austin Bridges, Joanna Burns, and Gary and Trisha Bean. [G1] Our little nonprofit is also fueled by volunteers from around the world who have likewise chosen the path of service to others. I wish to extend my sincerest gratitude to each of them and to you, our beloved readership for every moment of your devotion to the Choice to serve all in love and light.

This afternoon I was able to spend some time talking to a friend of a few years who lives here in Louisville and who hosted a number of podcasts with me as his guest. We were joined by a new friend who has been staying with me since the public channeling session last Saturday as she hopes to move to the Louisville area and buy some property where she will continue her life’s work of healing with music and dance. It was a good conversation which gave each of us a chance to learn more about the spiritual paths that we all have taken for many years.

From A Book of Days, channeled by Carla L. Rueckert:

March 19

Instead Of Judgment

I am of the consciousness of Jesus the Christ and I greet you in the full consciousness of love.

The tongue of the pilgrim is often swift to judge the thoughts and actions of the self and others. This is understandable because the pilgrim is greatly concerned with distinguishing true paths from false leads which seem promising at first, yet meander off in unhelpful directions.

However, judgment creates a relationship which is not of the spirit of love between the one who judges and the one who is judged. Love does not cause such a separation and such a relationship.

And thus it is that the pilgrim may find himself much confused in attempting to place the moral impulse into logical settings. The spirit of Christ would offer, instead of judgment, a warm compassion and gentle mercy which acknowledges the infinite mystery of the pilgrim’s heart and the infinite mystery of Christ’s love.

Seek first compassion and mercy, and by the time these attitudes have furnished the pilgrim with information concerning a situation, the pilgrim may well find that even the impulse to judge has been healed and the pilgrim is at peace, resting in mystery and love.

Judgment there shall be, but not as the pilgrim may think. For judgment shall be a peaceful thing and no pilgrim shall feel slighted or bruised by the compassionate and merciful judgment of the Creator, who wishes only to bring all things into unity once again, a unity bonded and bounded in love and peace.

In that happy estate we leave you, now and always. Amen.

I said the prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight:

We come in the name of love and open our hearts, minds, and souls to send love, light, and healing energy to Mother Earth as she brings forth a new Earth in the fourth density. We ask that the infinite love, light and healing energy of the One Infinite Creator heal the hearts of all souls in pain on Earth tonight. May all souls on Earth feel our love, light, and healing energy in their hearts, their minds, and their souls. Amen.


[1] The Ra Contact: Teaching the Law of One, 60.8.


 [G1]