Negative Wanderer.

[AnthroHeart]

I feel for you!!!......and I'm not being factious, I really do!  You wanted to know of similar stories?   I have one for you....My first incarnation was so traumatic, it took several thousand years to heal from that, then incarnation after incarnation I died very young.  This life has given me the catalysts I needed to toughen up and wake up, but before I woke up I was completely and utterly fed up with mankind.  Then I could have cared less about what happened to humanity.  This life gave me nothing but grief.  I was told I started out as a very happy child.  If it wasn't for my grandmother showing me what real love is, this life would have beaten it out of me.  Instead that spark of love remained.  It was that spark, an being an intuitive empsth where I could occasionally hear comforting thoughts from an unseen protector that helped me wake up.

My whole out looked has changed, now I have allowed my consciousness join with others in serving others in service of the one Infinite Creator.  I don't feel that loneliness or fear any more.  Even if the others in the consciousness complex of light and love don't know me personally or in person, they know me when my consciousness arrives.  

I am a fourth density wanderer.  That is the density of undrrstanding, and when I went inside and found that understanding I needed, I went through a spell of glimpsing what Ra's group must feel.  They say they are of sorrow.  I felt that sorrow toward mankind.  I knew most would not be ready for harvest if we don't help.

We are humble servants of the One Infinite Creator.  We are also 'a horse of a different color'!!!  We Wanderers are incarnated with thinner veils than most.  You might say we are thin skinned, but on the inside!  Life has kicked our behinds.  We've experienced what others will have to go through again if they don't graduate to 4th density.   Once I remember who I was and what I came here to do, all it took was a few minutes a day to meditate, and whamo!!!!!!   That veil started getting thinner and thinner!  All Idid was the wanting to project tthe power of the consciousness out to those seeking, those who were beginning to stir awake, and to Gia, to give Earth more strength and stability to transition into 4th density........The top of my head tingles and I can actually feel an invisible hTerraformer, every joint up and down my spine tingles, and whamo!!!!.....The Love and Light passes through me, out, up, and engulfs everything!  Would I go back to the way I was?.......No way!  This is too cool!  I'm more alive than I've ever been, and so happy I can be of service to others.

I don't want to infringe on your free will at all, but you did ask if others felt similar.  Yes....I have, but once I found out  I didn't have to set by and just watch this illusion of a world go down the toilet and me along with it,........It has changed my whole life!

The One Infinite Creator has provided the power to change life here on this third density planets, through us as  instruments of broadcasting that power.  Each of us is a tower to broadcast that power.  I do wish I could peel the veil from my eyes and see the colors as that power broadcasts.  It must be amazing!  Every color in the rainbow I imagine.

Hope this helps.  In service to all, in service to the One Infinite Creator
Terraformer

How do you know that you are a wanderer, and what density?

What methods did you use to review your previous incarnations?

I'm good at reading cards that are created and then thrown away after use.
I will do this next time I'm with my teacher.
But I get a sense of what feels like "yes" and what feels like "no" energetically.

Then we will have cards with "fourth density dual-body" "fifth-density" "sixth-density" and the like.

I will get a feel for which feels yes and which feels no. Yes feels light, and no feels heavy.
Yes feels expansive, no feels contracting.

I do miss some sometimes, but if I don't know what I'm reading, it helps make it more accurate.
Then I sort them into piles of "yes" and "no" and "maybe".

If I am right then only one will come out as yes. I'm going to even see if I'm part of Ra's, if we're even allowed to ask that.

Even with dowsing we can influence it by what we feel. Reading cards blindly like this your mind doesn't get in the way.

[kristina]

Thank all of you, I appreciate your feedback!

Negative entities may not appreciate positive feedback. You may want to consider that simple point.

[kristina]

You say you are bored, then you say you're enraged, then you say you love nature, then you say you're bored again.

Rage and love aren't boredom. You can't be bored and enraged at the same time.

You ask why you exist here. Safe bet it has to do with rage and boredom. They are both part of your catalyst.

Maybe your lesson is to learn to amuse yourself. If you were omnipotent, what amusement would you construct for yourself?

most excellent reply

[Glow]

I was negative for a while. If you are not encountering the reverse arguments of all your dreams and desires, then you are not in negative sixth density. It sounds like you're more in negative 4th. This would be where you subconsciously remove energy from the existing systems as you feel they don't support meaningful existence from your point of view.

The advice so far is good. Simply express negative emotions through the improvement of your body and environment, and allow love to arise (this burns through the repressed self-hate present as the collective constantly creates more catalyst for itself than it can process, leading to the body's subconscious desire for death and destruction). The fabric of this reality is quite glorious, but the reasons for why things are the way they are is highly convoluted, and meaning can be lost. Without meaning, the desire to destroy that which lacks meaning may strongly manifest.

I don’t express my negativity in a way I need to. I don’t need physical expression but a verbal one, but my physical environment doesn’t let me dive into this properly.
That is I why I dissociate severely. This is also called maladaptive daydreaming. I spend a lot of time in my imagination exercising it and working out that which I cannot work out physically. When I am stressed out or feel trapped in physicality I struggle to stay focus socially 90% of my time. This doesn’t hinder my physical and social development, though. But I mostly feel unsatisfied for I cannot express that which I want in 3D… And therefore I don’t understand why would a soul want to experience limitations like this?

You do not sound negative to me. In fact you sound like one who recognizes the reality of this world is a bit off.

I don’t speculate on wanderer status for the most part but suffice to say most positive wanderers experiences this is some form till they manage to connect with their soul long enough to remember why they are here.

When you come from an innate vibration of oneness it’s less seductive to follow the life scripts of separation. It all just seems off, and you can’t make yourself conform because your soul not your ego is the one objecting.

Anyways welcome I hope this place and it’s members can help you find your way the way they have helped me.

[speedforce131]

Consider the possibility that you're not a wanderer and that you are on 3rd density like everyone else learning their lessons. That puts everything into context and it would make sense. Your polarity may be negative in this lifetime, at this current moment but these lessons will enable your true self to make better decisions in the next life. You still have plenty of time left to reverse course and switch to positive.

[BastionPath]

Hello there!

I have been looking for some answers, hopefully I can find some here.

I believe I am a wanderer but with negative polarization. Don’t remember if I ever felt love towards humanity, have always been struggling to find the reason I have incarnated and have always been trying to find an outlet for my resentment towards myself for my choice to come here.

I have two main questions for those who probably experienced or experience something similar:
- first one: WHY? Why would anyone with the highly developed mind find this place interesting? I feel bored with life, with people, I can’t find anything worthy of my attention for I have lost my path and understanding;
- second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

So here's where my seeking led me. The sun was an individual, or expressed the soul of an individual that committed suicide. The sun did this with a specific set of lessons and distortions. As soon as a person hits a high enough vibration, they are pushed to immediately save or serve others unconditionally. If they fail to do this, then the sun's original distortions are projected upon them.

Because I've noticed that only the highest vibration (or healthiest souls) become lost here on earth. The souls that are very dense and physical reality based succeed wonderfully.

[ZW929]

I think its fair to say- you can associate "Negative" with Manipulation- rather than Open-Hearted sharings, frustration, things of the like. (includes expressing inner pain in an honest way).

Being turned-off by something doesn't make you negative.

Being offended by something doesn't make you negative.

Being opposed to a certain mindset doesn't make you negative either.

If you were a Negative being, you'd absolutely have this all Planned Out for Your Gain (polarity wise) somehow. Like you'd know your next steps like clock work (whenever possible)

"I'm gonna post this thread, then make them think this, then do this, then do that" (type of thing).

2 cents.

you wouldn't be genuinely asking for input- in other words. Lol.

<3

Honestly, A lot of this comes down to TERMINOLOGY and the LIMITS of SPOKE LANGUAGE - it truly does.

Spoken language doesn't translate concepts or blocks of information- you take the words and interpret them BY YOURSELF.

[Merrick]

I think its fair to say- you can associate "Negative" with Manipulation- rather than Open-Hearted sharings, frustration, things of the like. (includes expressing inner pain in an honest way).

Being turned-off by something doesn't make you negative.

Being offended by something doesn't make you negative.

Being opposed to a certain mindset doesn't make you negative either.

If you were a Negative being, you'd absolutely have this all Planned Out for Your Gain (polarity wise) somehow. Like you'd know your next steps like clock work (whenever possible)

"I'm gonna post this thread, then make them think this, then do this, then do that" (type of thing).

2 cents.

you wouldn't be genuinely asking for input- in other words. Lol.

<3

Honestly, A lot of this comes down to TERMINOLOGY and the LIMITS of SPOKE LANGUAGE - it truly does.

Spoken language doesn't translate concepts or blocks of information- you take the words and interpret them BY YOURSELF.

I agree. STS isn’t negative in the sense of not liking a thing. It’s negative as in those on the STS path willfully wish to negate the basic fact of our existence, that we are all one and are made of love/light. This involves actively blocking your heart chakra and circumventing it to activate your higher chakras without activating your heart.

A general feeling of ennui or despair isn’t negative in regards to polarization. You have to actively work at being on the STS path, just like you have to actively work on the STO path.