Hello friends,
I believe I am a wanderer. Since I was young I haven't felt like I belonged here or had anyone to belong to. My own mother didn't like me; she loved me because I was her child, but she didn't like the person I was. She still doesn't like me but we tolerate each other. I grew up chasing love and had several sad experiences from it because I was pushy and intrusive to those I wanted to 'belong' to. I married a man who was much like my mother; he decided he didn't like me either. We had two beautiful children who, fortunately, do like me, but we divorced after 18 years of marriage. It was ages and ages before I began to feel a sense of belonging in the human race.
After being introduced to energy work from a dear friend, who remains so today, I began a journey to my 'self'. I learned to feel and channel energy from Wicca, studied and followed the path of the heart with Sufis and walk the good red road with native americans. I have come to a sense of belonging and the oneness of all and everything through participation in sweat lodges where I finally learned the meaning of 'let go and let god' and 'not my will, but your will be done'. I followed my path which led to being sent back home by Spirit to care for my mother and to serve in my childhood church's outreach programs. It's ironic that I should now be helping the woman who was such misery to me when I was young.
I now follow the way of Mark Age, which is the same as that of Ra - same concepts, different words and phrases to describe them - but I somehow didn't discover Ra and this fellowship until now. I also follow my path through a shaman friend. My energy flows when Spirit needs it, I have no idea where it goes or how it is used, I am merely the instrument Spirit uses. I have changed and feel more at peace with myself now, while my mom is still the same. It has been good for me to be able to have oneness consciousness to hold me these past few years, although there are still times I want to pound the walls and rage in the night.
Well, that's enough. I didn't mean to say this much, and actually debated a long time before posting at all. I am happy to be here, but I tend not to talk much. I have found that Spirit is better served by my listening.
So thanks all for listening to me
I believe I am a wanderer. Since I was young I haven't felt like I belonged here or had anyone to belong to. My own mother didn't like me; she loved me because I was her child, but she didn't like the person I was. She still doesn't like me but we tolerate each other. I grew up chasing love and had several sad experiences from it because I was pushy and intrusive to those I wanted to 'belong' to. I married a man who was much like my mother; he decided he didn't like me either. We had two beautiful children who, fortunately, do like me, but we divorced after 18 years of marriage. It was ages and ages before I began to feel a sense of belonging in the human race.
After being introduced to energy work from a dear friend, who remains so today, I began a journey to my 'self'. I learned to feel and channel energy from Wicca, studied and followed the path of the heart with Sufis and walk the good red road with native americans. I have come to a sense of belonging and the oneness of all and everything through participation in sweat lodges where I finally learned the meaning of 'let go and let god' and 'not my will, but your will be done'. I followed my path which led to being sent back home by Spirit to care for my mother and to serve in my childhood church's outreach programs. It's ironic that I should now be helping the woman who was such misery to me when I was young.
I now follow the way of Mark Age, which is the same as that of Ra - same concepts, different words and phrases to describe them - but I somehow didn't discover Ra and this fellowship until now. I also follow my path through a shaman friend. My energy flows when Spirit needs it, I have no idea where it goes or how it is used, I am merely the instrument Spirit uses. I have changed and feel more at peace with myself now, while my mom is still the same. It has been good for me to be able to have oneness consciousness to hold me these past few years, although there are still times I want to pound the walls and rage in the night.
Well, that's enough. I didn't mean to say this much, and actually debated a long time before posting at all. I am happy to be here, but I tend not to talk much. I have found that Spirit is better served by my listening.
So thanks all for listening to me
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