09-27-2013, 02:30 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-27-2013, 02:35 PM by AnthroHeart.)
I was wondering if when you're dead you know that you're dead, or not.
I've thought of suicide even when perfectly happy with my life, feeling it's time to go.
I've attempted twice when I was not happy. But thought about it hundreds of times when perfectly happy,
just ready to transition. I didn't feel like I was ignoring lessons. But Bashar says you can leave your body
when you're good and ready. I might have been able to leave my body, but then my mom wouldn't get my life
insurance if it wasn't an accident.
The three or so times where I thought I was dead, I was so excited and ecstatic I could not contain
my excitement. I have really desired to be on the other side. Not because here is bad, but because
of the freedom you have on the other side.
In one experience I joined Ra in the sun, and was able to face my distortions. They were hot patches
within the sun, that I merged with many of them. This was an exciting time because I thought it was
Ra that had killed me because I asked. But after that experience I came back. I still appreciate life,
but I feel that I'm ready to go anytime. But I'll let my higher self decide when.
Yeah, once I became spiritual, my life got harder. Lessons were intensified, and there were many times that felt like initiation. Particularly when I worked with Ra, and it felt like I was being challenged with 6th density lessons. Ra did save my life, and also showed me what it was like to die, to a certain point. I didn't see the tunnel of white light, nor did I feel overwhelming love. It was a very hot place, I believe to be in the sun where Ra is. I visited there in my mind, which was very real.
I've thought of suicide even when perfectly happy with my life, feeling it's time to go.
I've attempted twice when I was not happy. But thought about it hundreds of times when perfectly happy,
just ready to transition. I didn't feel like I was ignoring lessons. But Bashar says you can leave your body
when you're good and ready. I might have been able to leave my body, but then my mom wouldn't get my life
insurance if it wasn't an accident.
The three or so times where I thought I was dead, I was so excited and ecstatic I could not contain
my excitement. I have really desired to be on the other side. Not because here is bad, but because
of the freedom you have on the other side.
In one experience I joined Ra in the sun, and was able to face my distortions. They were hot patches
within the sun, that I merged with many of them. This was an exciting time because I thought it was
Ra that had killed me because I asked. But after that experience I came back. I still appreciate life,
but I feel that I'm ready to go anytime. But I'll let my higher self decide when.
(09-27-2013, 07:51 AM)Aloysius Wrote: I think it's naive to think that once we become "spiritual" we will be free from pain, thoughts of such things will enter our mind, but like I said, we control our own limits and thresholds.
Edit; for clarity
Yeah, once I became spiritual, my life got harder. Lessons were intensified, and there were many times that felt like initiation. Particularly when I worked with Ra, and it felt like I was being challenged with 6th density lessons. Ra did save my life, and also showed me what it was like to die, to a certain point. I didn't see the tunnel of white light, nor did I feel overwhelming love. It was a very hot place, I believe to be in the sun where Ra is. I visited there in my mind, which was very real.