"You create your reality"

[Minyatur]

Yeah, it might sound stupid, but I'm starting to catch on to what it really means, starting to understand the reality of it, due to my situation and my own desperate necessity.

While I agree with pretty much everything you wrote, I'm not sure if you seek to look at the STS path with a look on the simple truth of it like you do on the rest. If you really consider your situation as desperate, then understand that the STS path only offer rejection of yourself and will create further needs of healing.

It's a path where you regret it all before accepting it all, so you can't say you inherently find it all well because you don't, but yeah you will come to understand and forgive yourself because you are all things and all things can be understood. Once understanding is found, forgiveness is inherent because there never really is something to forgive.