"You create your reality"

[Mahakali]

being a beatmaker, is like being a crack dealer to every nigga who think he can rap...we both know that's nearly every drunk dude...gang or no gang LMAO.

Ha. Good idea, never considered that.

I never did understand the business aspects of gangsters. I don't like gang culture, or the way most gangsters act, or the morphic fields around those cultures. I mostly just liked the fact that certain people like that are fucking insane. And maybe it's like, only a handful who are really like that. Most of them think like you were saying, get stuck-up about it, and only for the drugs and guns and money and stuff. That's why I don't like gangs.

I noticed that there is a much higher proportion of people like me involved in gangs than in the general population (or really anywhere else), and yet most gangsters are not like me.

Even some of those people who are into living large, five-star hotels and things; I respect them, because they can be crazy, but they want to live large, that's their goal, and there's a lot of circle-jerking around the concepts of manipulation and psychopathy in the context of political or social power.

I prefer a condemned office building covered in Satanic graffiti, broken glass and dirty heroin needles; I prefer the virtues of hatred and psychosis for their own sake; I often prefer rebellion to control, to be a loner with power over himself.

I didn't care much about moving drugs or any of that, except to make money to support my own habits. I was smoking weed and taking oxycodone and ativan 24/7, as well as anything else I could get my hands on. I rarely sold drugs directly, instead getting what I could for hooking people up (since I was hanging around those people 24/7 anyways). I sold pills, mostly.

I stay away from meth and such. I've used street-grade amphetamines twice, both times mixed with alcohol, and both times resulting in violent behavior; the second time, I nearly killed a friend for no reason. I really can't even tempt myself with anything like that. I get MEAN on the s***, even if it's just prescription pills or something. Amphetamines aren't good when your connection to reality is tenuous anyways.

As far as "negative people" go... yeah. I'm not unaware. But they're poisoning themselves more than me.

Some of those people are funny.

By that measure all peace, cooperation and good will is also an illusion. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

Well, yeah. Aren't all those things just human concepts with no objective reality?

The Seth material has a good handle on the concept of this world as illusion. Matter isn't an objective form that's somehow perceived by our physical senses... a table for example, is made up of the perceptions of its own various parts, and of the perceptions of the bacterial living on the side of it, and on the perceptions of those looking at it.

One the higher levels of human consciousness - and therefore probably other consciousness - things are associative; like attracts like on the astral plane.

So, the way to accomplish what I want to accomplish is to think with the things I want to alter, to perceive no difference between object and observer. I think this can be done.

More I meant to respond to.