Negative Wanderer.

[GentleReckoning]

I was negative for a while. If you are not encountering the reverse arguments of all your dreams and desires, then you are not in negative sixth density. It sounds like you're more in negative 4th. This would be where you subconsciously remove energy from the existing systems as you feel they don't support meaningful existence from your point of view.

The advice so far is good. Simply express negative emotions through the improvement of your body and environment, and allow love to arise (this burns through the repressed self-hate present as the collective constantly creates more catalyst for itself than it can process, leading to the body's subconscious desire for death and destruction). The fabric of this reality is quite glorious, but the reasons for why things are the way they are is highly convoluted, and meaning can be lost. Without meaning, the desire to destroy that which lacks meaning may strongly manifest.