Negative Wanderer.

[DVA]

You sound like a friend of mine.  Do you place Overwatch?  DVA is a character in OW ..

No, DVA is my initials

I have questions for you:
1) How was your upbringing? were you surrounded by loving parents? or experiencef alot of negativity growing up?
2) Tell me about yourself?  Are you an extremely selfish person?  Do you look at every situation from a "How can this benefit me" POV?  The true mark of a negative person is someone who is extremely selfish and constantly manipulating others to get what they want.. Is this your personality?  Is this who you are?

What is the difference between a wanderer and a negative soul? Probably I use the term incorrectly, for I have come across this recently. But I have always tried to give it a name somehow, I have read about old souls, Lightworkers and such, but this didn’t help a lot. I follow the Mercury Light mediumship group; once I asked their Spirit Group if there is a possibility a soul regrets coming here. They replied it happens and described something similar to a wanderer with the possibility of being born handicapped let alone mental severe disorientation.

1. Physically my childhood was good, I had enough and was not neglected. But mentally it was not, I didn’t receive as much love as I needed as a child. My parents were not able to reveal my character virtues, I always felt I knew the truth and wisdom but was considered “not ok” and “a difficult child” for confronting social norms and inability to conform to authority and rules.
2. I am not that selfish. I don’t use psychological manipulations because I don’t care much about the outcome, physical life seems unnecessary and boring. My main issue is that I live two separate lives: the one being physical/social one and the second one being mental. I cannot merge the two. Sometimes I got caught in social construct and I then feel I am drowning in absolutely useless time-consuming trifles like work, small talks and everyday experience. This is what I feel mentally. But physically I am very tough and power-career-oriented person: this is what I am on the outside for the sake of playing this game of life.

But I don’t see how can I find my true path if I always feel I shouldn’t be here?