Quitting marijuana, music

[Infinite Unity]

NB: Possible TRIGGER WARNING (bad drug experiences)

I can really relate to the

When I became mentally ill for a while, I couldn't touch weed.
Thoughts like the people in the street having personalities of their own was very scary for me for example..
Too scary maybe. so weed would make these things worse. in the last eight or nine years that I've had a relationship with pot, those two years were the only period in which I didn't use.

"weed would make these things worse".

Basically, I've never been able to use it with confidence, because it opens my mind out too much.
I need stronger anchors to 3D - as it is !
From a young age I was sensing, seeing beings and knowing things (freaking people out with the accuracy) .
This planet (density) has never felt 'real' to me.
'Life' has never felt real to me. (The veil becomes very evident if I don't distract my thinking.)
so weed....
woah....    
The only time I enjoyed it I'd already had several (alcoholic) drinks and so was already very relaxed... and at a party in the kitchen I sat on the floor I laughed a lot and threw Jelly (Jello) at people.

But without a few drinks beforehand. No can do... ikky paranoia/anxiety at best  at worst - time stretched out sooooo long - it took a car going past me hours to go past... I fell on the bed and turned the radio on and Kenny freakin' Rogers 'Coward Of the County' was playing (a song I intensely disliked)... and it played for HOURS!! but I was paralysed - unable to move to turn it off a 3 minute song went for a few days !   agggggg

That was after not that much as well!. That's why I've NEVER taken hallucinogens, because I know I'd probably never 'return'...and don't want to be permanently hospitalised.

One time I had some weed and it was I don't know what type but I ended up stuck in my room with the world turned one dimensional

It lost 'depth' so everything in front of me was flat... but not only flat - but pressed 'flat' across my face/eyes/mind... it was suffocating....

and my head was 'flat' (and massively wide) like a thin sheet of paper.... there was no depth (in any direction!) to anything... it was fucking horrific... I lay down and rode it out by keeping my eyes closed... and I remember eventually going outside to try to see if I could sense the world as other than a flat photograph superimposed over my field of vision... so I leant my hand out to touch a leaf and could only feel it just as I touched it... then couldn't feel it between my fingers as I still sat there holding it... so I kept letting go just to savour the 'sanity' of retouching it......every time I shifted my head there was no depth perception so it was literally like the normal world became compressed onto my eyes -  if you'd taken me to an unfamiliar place and asked me to gauge distance people/things were from me I couldn't have said - because it was all flat like a photo... horrific ...

it was a mental claustrophobia - really terrifying and nauseating... gads... I feel dizzy vertigo just describing it... and that was about 30 years ago! 0_o

apologies if it's too graphic a description

just want to say.... it can be very full on for some incarnating with already opened clairvoyance/thin veils/high IQ's/autism-aspergers/mental health issues/psychosis
etc....

I've always known it would mess with my neuro-atypical brain

All the people I've known who've liked it (& LSD etc) and  always been completely mentally stable no matter how wild the trip - have been people who felt they needed to expand their 'consciousness'... who didn't have any esp/or theories or ideas about 'existence' or 'consciousness'...and who were very stable contented, very 'normal' people...

I've had friends who had deep psychological issues would benefited from a few supported uses... but who became a real mess if they had too much, too potent and/or for too long... and people with mental health vulnerabilities are (imo) asking for problems with sometimes even only limited usage.

(I deeply love 2 people - 1 with acid induced schizophrenia and 1 with weed OD induced psychosis.)

I think 'fiddling with' 'the veil' in the accelerated way drugs can allow is a very tricky thing

I largely agree and don't recommend drugs to anyone.

However I truly enjoy LSD, my brother and I are a bit of psychonauts though, and are mental stamina or durability is pretty high. I could easily see how it can cause damage or lasting traumatic effects, and is nothing to play around with. I only would do it, if you feel absolutely drawn to it, and you want to do it in your heart of hearts. You got to be ready to accept what you find.

Oh yeah weed has definitely had me ungrounded and feeling paranoid, and a lot of the ways you explain. Though I have never experience the one dimensional experience you have, that honestly sounds very very trippy and not cool.