06-12-2020, 03:23 PM
Dears, you may reply to this text, but if I can be honest, I'm currently viewing this post as mostly a manifestation of my diary. At this moment, 3 pm for me, I'm presenting considerable confusion. I'm seeing cruelty, loneliness, sadness, among other distorted images.
I know they are illusions, but in my confusion, I feel like talking about them, even if for a bit. With that said, here I read many selves saying they don't fit in. That they are not supposed to be here. That no one understands them. Why that would be so? And isn't this forum enough?
Outside of here, I personally and generally don't feel understood by anyone. Here the situation doesn't improve in my view. I already shared some thoughts with you, but you didn't understand. I know I don't know more than you, so I really wish you and everyone else could just see.
Why is all love? Is intellect required to embrace creation? Is it really bad to eat meat? What is even bad? Can we get answers? Is it really wise to so desperately seek guidance from higher selves or other entities? Is evil really to be avoided? Why yes and why no?
These aren't questions you ask, are they? I don't know who is reading this now, if anyone is, but many I talked to didn't pay attention to them. That's why I suppose sufference is so useful. Mine is so great that had I not asked and answered these questions, I'd be dead now.
I believe many haven't experienced sufference to this degree. I'm glad but sad at the same time for it means that, in my periods of confusion, I have no choice but be alone, without help. I know the problem is non-acknolwegement from self to self, so you are not at all to blame.
But I am still here. Suffering so much and without knowing/accepting the way out. I do lexically. That is, I can describe the solution perfectly well with words but that's not enough. I want/need to know/accept more intensely, more clearly, but, as it stands, I'm simply stuck.
How I wish I could have someone to help me, even if just a little. I want to love more than my mom, more than my pillow, more than this ego. I want to love all there is as intensely as I possibly can and I would so so appreciate a help to shape my will into this perfect, infinite love.
Thank you for reading those who read and thank you for living those who didn't.
I know they are illusions, but in my confusion, I feel like talking about them, even if for a bit. With that said, here I read many selves saying they don't fit in. That they are not supposed to be here. That no one understands them. Why that would be so? And isn't this forum enough?
Outside of here, I personally and generally don't feel understood by anyone. Here the situation doesn't improve in my view. I already shared some thoughts with you, but you didn't understand. I know I don't know more than you, so I really wish you and everyone else could just see.
Why is all love? Is intellect required to embrace creation? Is it really bad to eat meat? What is even bad? Can we get answers? Is it really wise to so desperately seek guidance from higher selves or other entities? Is evil really to be avoided? Why yes and why no?
These aren't questions you ask, are they? I don't know who is reading this now, if anyone is, but many I talked to didn't pay attention to them. That's why I suppose sufference is so useful. Mine is so great that had I not asked and answered these questions, I'd be dead now.
I believe many haven't experienced sufference to this degree. I'm glad but sad at the same time for it means that, in my periods of confusion, I have no choice but be alone, without help. I know the problem is non-acknolwegement from self to self, so you are not at all to blame.
But I am still here. Suffering so much and without knowing/accepting the way out. I do lexically. That is, I can describe the solution perfectly well with words but that's not enough. I want/need to know/accept more intensely, more clearly, but, as it stands, I'm simply stuck.
How I wish I could have someone to help me, even if just a little. I want to love more than my mom, more than my pillow, more than this ego. I want to love all there is as intensely as I possibly can and I would so so appreciate a help to shape my will into this perfect, infinite love.
Thank you for reading those who read and thank you for living those who didn't.
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