Another practical thing is that I have worked a lot with inner body awareness. I find meditation and dedicated spiritual practices tedious. Inner body awareness can be done anywhere and at anytime. So it's much more convenient for me that way. That's where the easy part ends. I have experienced that the tensions in my body-mind are enormous. At first they are hidden at a subconscious level and then with awareness practice the tensions are brought up to the surface of conscious awareness, and oh my, it's extremely heavy feelings.
There seems to be a constant numbing out of feeling the tensions going on. And when the numbness is felt together with the tensions a grotesque nasty feeling can be noticed in the body. It's absolute horrendous. Not that there is much suffering in the form of pain, but it's an extremely grinding and heavy feeling of sickness. Like trying to drill down to the core of the earth with one's fingernails.
Hopefully it's an accelerating process of releasing the tensions, lest it would take for fricken forever. And I can't see how an STO SMC can be developed without clearing up that inner mess, so I think it's a very useful practice overall.
There seems to be a constant numbing out of feeling the tensions going on. And when the numbness is felt together with the tensions a grotesque nasty feeling can be noticed in the body. It's absolute horrendous. Not that there is much suffering in the form of pain, but it's an extremely grinding and heavy feeling of sickness. Like trying to drill down to the core of the earth with one's fingernails.
Hopefully it's an accelerating process of releasing the tensions, lest it would take for fricken forever. And I can't see how an STO SMC can be developed without clearing up that inner mess, so I think it's a very useful practice overall.