Suicide and other self-annihilating concepts.

[AppleSeed]

So I thought, I had committed suicide once. But here I am again. Obviously this was a wasted effort. I must thank my higher self for bringing me these images, for they solidified for me the certainty that I would never commit suicide in this existence. One thing less to worry about.

Was it really a wasted effort? Now you have the experience, and won't feel the need to try it again.

Re: suicide as a back door when life feels unbearable: bear in mind that what counts as unbearable can vary a lot, also for one person. "I" committed suicide once, a long time ago, because I felt that life here was unbearable. Turns out there was another part of me which thought I should have been able to handle it. Took quite a few return trips to deal with this little disagreement between me and myself, and also with the regret of lost opportunity. Much later "I" went through an experience which can be called unbearable by much stricter standards. I lost my will to live, but didn't die. I lived on for maybe as long as two years in a kind of zombie-like state. There was a strong connection between the two memories, and the second one felt like failing and passing a test at the same time. Failing because I lost my will to live, even though I felt strongly that it was wrong to do so; passing because I didn't in the end allow myself to die there. Then of course I've had to forgive myself for having been so unforgiving of self...

In the end it's all experience, one as good as the other, but I do think suicide is rarely the quick way out. That said, once a life span is over, what's wrong with picking the time and means of departure? I just read about a yogi who threw a party on his last day, held a speech, and then simply took off. Even "normal" people can have this knowing that it is time - I think this is often the case with (usually elderly) people who stop eating.