07-11-2011, 07:13 PM
(07-11-2011, 06:10 PM)Bring4th_Steve Wrote: I would like to see some steps taken to not judge others as the last few posts have done. It's quite disappointing to see a member being characterized in such a way that highlights how much others are "unlike" him. It only proves the real problem is for the one who cannot handle the reflections of our community and tries to "change" that which he does not like.No sorry. I do not believe that avoiding conflict gives anything positive except remaining tensions. I believe in conflict-solving and not conflict-avoiding attitudes. The worst kind of negativity one is one that is unexpressed. If I have a problem with someone, I have found much better results and friendships by expressing my concerns. Doesnt mean I force anyone or anything. Most of the time it is my humble oppinion. I have my likes and my dislikes and I feel no negativity in expressing them if I can do it in a good enough way. Communication skills are essential here.
It doesn't matter how people present themselves through the written word. Some will appear crass, some will appear sugary, but they are expressing themselves in ways that you have chosen not to.
We seem to all share the common goal of understanding ourselves better, and we chose this site as a place of focus to do it. But just because we each appear to have different perspectives, doesn't mean there are any "knots" to resolve or that someone suffered in the past and should consider changing behaviors. We each are interacting in ways that are stylistic to our own life paths.
Might I suggest that the differences between you and another member be cherished, instead of dragged out into the open for criticism?
Steve
My best and strongest friendships have stemmed from rivalry and conflict. We achieve it with skilled and daring confrontation. I am not afraid of getting hurt. But I am afraid of hurting. We experience, we learn, we choose, we move on.
I am a masseur and I regulary treat anyone in need of my skills. If a muscle is stiff and is hurting, it needs treatment. Often they are triggerpoints which are very tense spots that hurt alot to to treat. But after the treatment my patients almost always talk of "invisible" tension that they did not sense until I started my triggerpoint massage. I have made many brave men cry like children during treatments. (With experience I have become better on optimizing the treamentso that it becomes more tolerable). After the treatment I always have very gratefull and thankfull people that the pain (which they often diddnt even think about because it was so normalized) is gone.
No. There is no avoiding conflict. You just kick the bucket further down the road. Making it worse.
As for Unity100. I love him, god loves him. We have a loving conflict.
Love