Finding Yourself

[AnthroHeart]

Have you found yourself?

Do you know who you really are?

[Lighthead]

Have you found yourself?

Do you know who you really are?

When I feel like I've gotten close, something happens and it feels like I've actually gone farther.

[AnthroHeart]

I am confused as to karma, whether I am entangled or not.

[Lighthead]

I am confused as to karma, whether I am entangled or not.

I get the impression that a lot of people here have already chosen to be of positive polarity. But, for me, choosing polarity is one of the hardest things that I've been weighing. I feel drawn towards the negative path. But how could I possibly be negative if I sometimes feel for people. Maybe if I see everyone as being a part of the self (negative path), then maybe I'm really feeling for myself. It just seems like you'd have to be some kind of genius to really know what path is the best one for you. You have to parse every thought and feeling to see where it goes and what that tells you about yourself.

[AnthroHeart]

I've not really been into the negative path, though I have been fascinated by the Saw movies.

[Lighthead]

I've not really been into the negative path, though I have been fascinated by the Saw movies.

When I get exposed to anything I find truly dark is when I feel that intoxication that I talked about in my Wanderer Story. I'm not really into horror movies. I'm much more into subtle depictions of the negative path. For example, heavy metal is a lot of times overtly negative. That doesn't appeal to me either. I feel like subtle depictions of the negative path are much deeper and much truer to what true negativity really is. I always go back to Venetian Snares. Normally people don't equate breakcore to being more negative than heavy metal, but since it's not the usual avenue of the negative path that's what makes me think that it is more accurately negative. I realize that I'm sort of rambling and that I'm not speaking on very clear terms, but I just hope someone understands. Maybe it's because horror movies are stereotypical versions of what "evil" and negativity are. Maybe you can be "nice" and be on the negative path.

[AnthroHeart]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

[Enyiah]

Have you found yourself?

Do you know who you really are?

Good questions!

I have found myself.  I ''know'' who I am.  I believe we are born with the ''knowing'' but within this 3D life context we slowly ''lose'' ourselves for all kind of reasons. 
I am surprised I survived this whole life experience and have come into the ''knowing'' part of it.  I'm not sure if I can describe  the sense of  ''knowingness''.  It feels like it just IS.  It also feels like it took a lifetime to get here.
I will probably learn to recognize and understand the process that occured in coming into this knowing.
Life is truly a mystery :exclamation:

[Lighthead]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

[Aion]

I meet myself eternally in the moment.

[Aion]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

[Lighthead]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

[Aion]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

[Lighthead]

Can you link your wanderer story Lighthead?

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

[Aion]

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=10640

I very briefly mention it in my Wanderer story. I think I was scared of being judged. I'm still sort of scared of being judged for saying that I'm contemplating being on the negative path. The only other one that I know that identifies as that here is Adonai One.

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

[Lighthead]

The negative path is alluring by its very nature, so that is understandable. I say try it out, see how it suits your fancy.

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

[Aion]

I'm definitely considering it. I just hope I don't get judged here on this forum.

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

[Lighthead]

Try and impress me, few strive for the negative with any real dedication.

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

[Aion]

Trust me, I've seriously considered it ever since I've read about it in the Law of One. That was about a year ago. So it's been weighing on my mind for a while. But yeah, I guess it would take dedication. I just want to rid my mind of what society thinks a negative person has to be. Those are the most toxic ideas for me, I've noticed. And I just realized that 95% STS is a lot. I have to search into my mind and see what it reveals. I have to be disciplined, as we talked about.

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

[Lighthead]

Sounds like a rather positive ideal, if you ask me.

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

[Aion]

I don't understand what you mean. In what way?

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered an Aspirant.

[Lighthead]

You are rising in defense of negativity because you see that it is not what others think it is. This is an attempt to be of service to others.

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered a Aspirant.

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

[Aion]

So am I being STS or STO? I don't get it.

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered a Aspirant.

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

[Lighthead]

My friend, you are being compassionate and want to show that all are worthy of love. This is service to others by its very nature. If I am honest, I don't think you'd have much success on the negative path, your heart is too sensitive and open.

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered a Aspirant.

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

[Aion]

You just made me LOL when I read that. I don't know, I'll just take it as it goes. I guess you could call me a neophyte right now.

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered a Aspirant.

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

[Lighthead]

A Neophyte begins when the choice is made. Right now, you would be considered a Aspirant.

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

If you may so enlighten me, what else is the enjoyment of the negative path? And I'm not being sarcastic, I really do want to know. Maybe it's something that I'm sensing that I can't put into words.

[Aion]

Well I do feel drawn towards the darkness. It's not like I'm disgusted by it. I know that that probably sounds as goofy as something someone who's goth would say. Lol. I just don't want to "aspire" to a stereotypical version of someone on the negative path. I guess you could call it my preference. I'm going to look real deep inside myself. I'm going to tell my therapist that we have to forget about mom for a moment. I stole that line from a movie. Try to guess which one.

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

If you may so enlighten me, what else is the enjoyment of the negative path? And I'm not being sarcastic, I really do want to know. Maybe it's something that I'm sensing that I can't put into words.

Power, self-control, dominance in life. The negative path isn't about pleasing the self, it's about perfecting the self, it's about rising to the top. It's about becoming the Creator exclusively, without others. In that, the negative enjoys much wisdom, cleverness and influence.

[Lighthead]

What is 'the darkness' to you? I do not know the movie.

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

If you may so enlighten me, what else is the enjoyment of the negative path? And I'm not being sarcastic, I really do want to know. Maybe it's something that I'm sensing that I can't put into words.

Power, self-control, dominance in life. The negative path isn't about pleasing the self, it's about perfecting the self, it's about rising to the top. It's about becoming the Creator exclusively, without others. In that, the negative enjoys much wisdom, cleverness and influence.

And that's exactly the kind of thing that I'm drawn to. I think that society views those kinds of things as taboo to want to pursue, or at least to admit that you want to pursue. But maybe that's because this planet is gearing towards 4D positive, if anything. Or else be destroyed and society becomes mothmen.

[Aion]

It's not something that I can really describe with words. It's just something that I can feel at this point. I see it more as an intent to please myself. I don't want to go outside of the bounds of society to do it because I don't see facing the repercussions of that as pleasing myself. I see it mostly as viewing things from a different perspective. But that's what I have to investigate deep within myself. For example, I still want to be vegan. But I don't want to be vegan because I want to be so ethical towards animals. I literally feel that it's the healthier option. So I'm doing it to please myself. The movie is Wedding Crashers. It might have been said in another movie as well since I don't really see the style of that movie as being that of an outlier.

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

If you may so enlighten me, what else is the enjoyment of the negative path? And I'm not being sarcastic, I really do want to know. Maybe it's something that I'm sensing that I can't put into words.

Power, self-control, dominance in life. The negative path isn't about pleasing the self, it's about perfecting the self, it's about rising to the top. It's about becoming the Creator exclusively, without others. In that, the negative enjoys much wisdom, cleverness and influence.

And that's exactly the kind of thing that I'm drawn to. I think that society views those kinds of things as taboo to want to pursue, or at least to admit that you want to pursue. But maybe that's because this planet is gearing towards 4D positive, if anything. Or else be destroyed and society becomes mothmen.

I believe there are positive manifestations of these attributes, but indeed are much longer coming and less likely to be desired following the positive path. In positive there is competition but not to the extent of dominance and control.

[Lighthead]

Pleasing oneself is not the exclusive enjoyment of the negative path by any means, but I can understand that, especially since typically positive spirituality is typified by giving.

If you may so enlighten me, what else is the enjoyment of the negative path? And I'm not being sarcastic, I really do want to know. Maybe it's something that I'm sensing that I can't put into words.

Power, self-control, dominance in life. The negative path isn't about pleasing the self, it's about perfecting the self, it's about rising to the top. It's about becoming the Creator exclusively, without others. In that, the negative enjoys much wisdom, cleverness and influence.

And that's exactly the kind of thing that I'm drawn to. I think that society views those kinds of things as taboo to want to pursue, or at least to admit that you want to pursue. But maybe that's because this planet is gearing towards 4D positive, if anything. Or else be destroyed and society becomes mothmen.

I believe there are positive manifestations of these attributes, but indeed are much longer coming and less likely to be desired following the positive path. In positive there is competition but not to the extent of dominance and control.

How is there competition on the positive path? I can see it on a distorted positive path. Maybe that's what you're referring to.