my wanderer story of awakening

[Angel. G]

Im Angel. i would say, i woke by accident. a little over 20 years ago. 1998, 99? I did LSD regularly. but a few years down the line i was on LSD and tried MDMA for the first time... well, the feeling was so literally, Amazingly loving... that i had an obe. I was raised catholic all though not  devout, and internet was not what it is now. so i did not understand what had occurred. and to shorten my story a bit, I realized i was God... But thanks to religion and having no guidance... i thought i was the new Jesus here to save the world. LOL. well, it was great the first few months. till i began to loose touch with reality. and literally thought my reality was just a dream. began thinking lots of things i now understand, but not then. things like, everything is nothing. because nothing is everything. and everything came to a stop. i was placed in insane isylum and given Haldol for my delusions of grandure and came out zombie like drooling. years passed and i could not accept i was insane. but one day in miami dade county jail, i read a book and it brought tears of joy cuz i knew then i had simply woken up. the book was called... we are all doing time. by BO LOZOFF. much love. ps. I have felt alone for so long, but synchronicities have been keeping me company for the past 20 years, since awakening.

[Louisabell]

Hi Angel. Thank you for sharing your story. It appears that you have experienced a lot in this life and had many profound moments of insight. I'm happy to hear of the tremendous healing journey that you have been on. I'd be curious to hear more about how the book "we are all doing time" was so inspirational to you. I do hope you enjoy yourself here.

[Ymarsakar]

Enlightenment can often seem like insanity to the masses, since the two states are very similar.

It is a test of your discernment how much you communicate to others and how much you keep within as an internal seeking. Because if you share your experience with people who do not want to know, they and the dark matrix has defense measures against it spreading. It also involves people's right not to know.

[hounsic]

Welcome and thanks for sharing, I will have to take a look at that book there is so much inspirational information out there.

[Spaced]

Welcome Angel! Thanks for sharing your story.

[flofrog]

Welcome here Angel, safe journey friend. Aren’t synchronicities the best ?

[LeafieGreens]

Welcome Angel! You are not alone and may you find all that you seek here and elsewhere.

[Steppingfeet]

Hi Angel. Welcome to Brign4th! Thanks for sharing a few of the key moments in your journey. Though on the surface it may seem like your awakening was accidental due to chemicals, we all have various means of awakening. Many have done so as a result of a chemically induced altered state of consciousness.

In your case, perhaps your conscious mind was not yet ready, or you just couldn't fully integrate the experience, or you didn't have the benefit of guidance or structure as you indicate. This is the danger of the accelerant of chemicals. Lacking guidance, readiness, or ability, one can destablize or disarrange the self. I'm sorry to hear about he subsequent years of challenge. Asylum and prison? Wow - two of the most difficult environments for anyone to live through. Many are the wanderers and spiritual seekers who inadvertantly slip into the gutters and, thanks to a largely spiritually ignorant society which doesn't understand how to help them, are not able to find their way back.  I'm glad that you have since found your footing and are finding your way to service to others and humble seeking. Perhaps your own harrowing years might offer you insight into helping other souls with these types of challenges.

I hope you find connection and inspiration here. With love/light, Gary

[Angel. G]

thanks for ur comment. everything u said was totally accurate. but thanks to my time in jail systems. i read and chose to learn and was in jail when i realized i was not insane. societies are. and my 4+ years in the system was not bad at all. For is where i learned the most about psychology n human nature. so to me it was a good learning experience. one i will not repeat, but it was what it was at that moment in time. and as lots of us know now, even bad is good. few learn through pleasure... suffering is our true teacher. much love

[Sacred Fool]

 
I can remember hearing Bo Lozoff interviewed on the radio a couple of times many years back.  Although he traveled a bumpy path, he came out of it with much clarity and ended up helping many, many people.  In some ways heavy constraints can simplify the mind, allowing the inherent value of love to become much more apparent.

I wish you all the best in your travels, fellow pilgrim.

  

[pat19989]

Welcome Angel! Thanks for sharing your story.

hi spaced, is your signature a reference to mf doom? I have always loved that song, and just now heard it in a new light.

Patrick

[Spaced]

Welcome Angel! Thanks for sharing your story.

hi spaced, is your signature a reference to mf doom? I have always loved that song, and just now heard it in a new light.

Patrick

Yes actually