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    Bring4th Bring4th Studies Spiritual Development & Metaphysical Matters My Dark Night of the Soul

    Thread: My Dark Night of the Soul


    GreatSpirit Away

    Account Closed
    Posts: 329
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    #1
    09-07-2011, 05:10 PM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2011, 05:13 PM by GreatSpirit.)
    Don't know where to start. I've always been shy and introverted. Never had many good friends but plenty of acquaintances. I'm a conspiracy theorist so I naturally believe 9/11 was an inside job and that we are all controlled and that the global economy will collapse on purpose and World War 3 may start anytime now prior to 2012. I've seen the proof. I hardly go out anywhere and I'm pretty anti-social and I have a hard enough time going to the store just getting something to eat. I consider myself spiritually open and a Wanderer, but I admit I haven't been the most positive person I am supposed to be. I've made many mistakes in my life and I feel what I am going through is by far my greatest challenge. I've had challenges before, mostly emotional, but I just feel this is the most intense. In a nutshell, I'm about to be homeless with nothing and I've been feeling suicidal.

    My whole family thinks I'm weird and I can feel they want to distance themselves from me. It's like they're ashamed of me for some reason because of my views (which are far different then theirs) and how deep I can think.

    Right now I'm unemployed and appealing for unemployment which I definitely won't get but doesn't hurt to try. have nothing to loose really. I'm not even going to the hearing because I know I'll loose and I have no lawyer. I'm just doing it just to piss off the company and hopefully so they will drop it and not have to go to court but seems like an impossibility.

    But make a long story short, I was laid off from my call center job of 7 years (JUST ME!!), but was offered a job in a different dept which I found out I was unqualified for and due to the lack of training, I got fired due to me walking out. Too many light bulb moments and I just couldn't take it. No one would help me and I was doing twice the work I did in my other dept for the same pay. I guess I'm still mad though because since they laid me off, I could've collected unemployment and got a severance pay. My parents told to just take the new job bla bla bla so I gave in and I did. Worst mistake I could've made (at least from one point of view).

    I haven't even been motivated to find a job really after I left and I think to myself, why the hell should I even partake in this system when its corrupt to the core? Besides, paper money has no real value anyway. I'm 28 so you'd expect I would be fine and set in a career by now. Went to college for 6 years which turned out to be the biggest waste of time. I thought it was more karmic cleanser since the kids were pretty mean and I only ended up in debt. I went for Theology and wanted to be a teacher but my parents wouldn't co-sign a loan for me to go to grad school and I messed up my own credit.

    But I guess I will be homeless shortly and I know my family will be just thrilled so I am not even asking for their help. They'll just look down on me as a lazy piece of s---. The most help I'll ask my mom is to just take my cat.

    Whats really weird for me, is that I lost my job, and been through an earthquake and hurricane all in the same month.
    [+] The following 2 members thanked thanked GreatSpirit for this post:2 members thanked GreatSpirit for this post
      • Confused, Tenet Nosce
    BrownEye Away

    Positive Deviant
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    #2
    09-07-2011, 05:36 PM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2011, 05:50 PM by BrownEye.)
    The activation of my fourth density body took place shortly after a similar future outlook in my life. The activation has to do with a choice, so there is a good chance you are being offered that choice now. I can't recommend what to do since at the time I was not aware that was happening. I did hit bottom, and I survived. You shall also if you can get a throttle on that feeling of helplessness and focus on those options outside of the few you have chosen to be available.
    Also, part of your stress is the focus on the self, and how you structure value to your self. It is always possible to restructure your self, even into ways that convert your weaknesses into strengths. You can be whatever you want to be, just keep in mind that the old choices of what we can be are fading. Now is a good time for being new, creating new, and evolving. Try not to hold so tight to the past and the future may not be so scary.
    [+] The following 4 members thanked thanked BrownEye for this post:4 members thanked BrownEye for this post
      • Confused, norral, kycahi, Aaron
    Namaste (Offline)

    Follow your dreams
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    #3
    09-07-2011, 05:56 PM
    I cannot offer help in terms of experience, as the catalyst you're facing is far beyond my own. I can offer some words of advice however that may help you start the ball rolling in terms of the choices you make in the moment.

    It appears you've been given much catalyst for change.

    From your words, you've been open and honest about certain decisions or actions that may not have served you as well as you'd hoped. Mistakes, as you've called them, although there are no such thing, each is a learning experience which holds much value. Have you spent time reflecting/contemplating upon these decisions? Once you find the root emotion or belief that caused you to make said choice, you can start to heal from them, change them, and choose differently in the future. It's a very powerful thing to do, and if I'm not mistaken, Ra promotes this as a means of exponential growth.

    A question, if you don't mind. Do you take responsibility for your life, or do you feel as if you were a victim of unassociated circumstances and events?

    Before we go a bit deeper, the belief that you're going to be homeless is a choice. You can choose this, and with a strong belief behind it, it will manifest. It doesn't have to. Why not open yourself up to unexpected support? Regardless of past decisions, you're more than worthy of it. Each person is a being if infinite worth, unconditionally loved and supported by the Universe. Opening up and trusting that support is the key, and the challenge.

    Bashar could be of much, much, help to you at this stage in your life. His words, with regards to beliefs, manifestation and abundance are invaluable, and have changed many lives. Mine included. Click here. Be sure to watch this, and this.
    [+] The following 5 members thanked thanked Namaste for this post:5 members thanked Namaste for this post
      • norral, Ruth, Confused, Aaron, Tenet Nosce
    Raman

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    #4
    09-07-2011, 09:10 PM
    Yeah try to be positive....
    [+] The following 1 member thanked thanked for this post:1 member thanked for this post
      • Confused
    unity100 (Offline)

    Member
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    #5
    09-07-2011, 09:18 PM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2011, 09:19 PM by unity100.)
    (09-07-2011, 05:10 PM)GreatSpirit Wrote: Don't know where to start. I've always been shy and introverted. Never had many good friends but plenty of acquaintances. I'm a conspiracy theorist so I naturally believe 9/11 was an inside job and that we are all controlled and that the global economy will collapse on purpose and World War 3 may start anytime now prior to 2012. I've seen the proof. I hardly go out anywhere and I'm pretty anti-social and I have a hard enough time going to the store just getting something to eat. I consider myself spiritually open and a Wanderer, but I admit I haven't been the most positive person I am supposed to be. I've made many mistakes in my life and I feel what I am going through is by far my greatest challenge. I've had challenges before, mostly emotional, but I just feel this is the most intense. In a nutshell, I'm about to be homeless with nothing and I've been feeling suicidal.

    My whole family thinks I'm weird and I can feel they want to distance themselves from me. It's like they're ashamed of me for some reason because of my views (which are far different then theirs) and how deep I can think.

    Right now I'm unemployed and appealing for unemployment which I definitely won't get but doesn't hurt to try. have nothing to loose really. I'm not even going to the hearing because I know I'll loose and I have no lawyer. I'm just doing it just to piss off the company and hopefully so they will drop it and not have to go to court but seems like an impossibility.

    But make a long story short, I was laid off from my call center job of 7 years (JUST ME!!), but was offered a job in a different dept which I found out I was unqualified for and due to the lack of training, I got fired due to me walking out. Too many light bulb moments and I just couldn't take it. No one would help me and I was doing twice the work I did in my other dept for the same pay. I guess I'm still mad though because since they laid me off, I could've collected unemployment and got a severance pay. My parents told to just take the new job bla bla bla so I gave in and I did. Worst mistake I could've made (at least from one point of view).

    I haven't even been motivated to find a job really after I left and I think to myself, why the hell should I even partake in this system when its corrupt to the core? Besides, paper money has no real value anyway. I'm 28 so you'd expect I would be fine and set in a career by now. Went to college for 6 years which turned out to be the biggest waste of time. I thought it was more karmic cleanser since the kids were pretty mean and I only ended up in debt. I went for Theology and wanted to be a teacher but my parents wouldn't co-sign a loan for me to go to grad school and I messed up my own credit.

    But I guess I will be homeless shortly and I know my family will be just thrilled so I am not even asking for their help. They'll just look down on me as a lazy piece of s---. The most help I'll ask my mom is to just take my cat.

    Whats really weird for me, is that I lost my job, and been through an earthquake and hurricane all in the same month.

    http://www.webhostingtalk.com

    get an account and after having amassed 5 posts or so in proper fashion, express your qualifications in the 'seeking employment' subforum. also, check the people seeking for your qualifications in offering employment subforum.

    you may not find a job in 'proper' fashion, but you should be able to find a job that you could do from home, and pay some or all of your bills. (provided that your expenses are not that high). for someone having worked in a call center, you would be suited for tech support or sales support probably. ask around.
    also ;

    http://elance.com

    there are all kinds of stuff to do ranging from writing to legal writing to machinery design to programming to whatever imaginable.
    [+] The following 4 members thanked thanked unity100 for this post:4 members thanked unity100 for this post
      • Confused, Monica, norral, Namaste
    Brittany

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    #6
    09-07-2011, 09:28 PM
    I've been in these types of situations, and the basic truth I've found is that if you continuously focus on the negative, thinking of everything that can go wrong, you will continuously find yourself in a negative situation where everything goes wrong. You are creating that reality for yourself.

    If you focus on what you are thankful for and all the ways things could go right, you will start finding yourself in favorable circumstances where you have much to be thankful for. I'm not saying everything will be right overnight, but consistently looking at the negative will lead you to a consistent dark night of the soul. I spent nearly all of my adolescence swimming through similar circumstances, and much joy I could have experienced was lost due to my own inability to see the good in the world.

    Just breathe and let that tight knot of emotion come loose and flow. I get a "bunched up" feeling in your energy, as if you are pulling everything very close to yourself, terrified of letting go. There is an enormous amount of tension. I think some deep relaxation techniques would be very useful to you right now, helping you to clear your mind and focus on a positive plan of action.

    I know all of this probably sounds very blase, but in my life it has equaled nothing but truth. Let the love of your brothers and sisters here ease that pain and lift you up. It will get better.
    [+] The following 4 members thanked thanked for this post:4 members thanked for this post
      • Confused, norral, Oceania, Tenet Nosce
    GreatSpirit Away

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    #7
    09-07-2011, 10:02 PM
    Thanks for all the feedback. I started feeling better last night. Oddly, I keep smelling this perfume fragrance around my apartment (hint hint) that I never smelled before and last night was the only night in god knows how long that I slept with the light on. I believe reinforcements have arrived.

    I've also been paying extreme attention to my dreams and its all real related to this little crisis.

    I did watch those videos and I did get good feedback from it. I was always into the fact that your thoughts do create your reality. I was in fact aiming to get laid off from my job and I was like "omg!! it happened!! thank you God!! I can just ride it out now until 2012 care-free!!" but than I took that other job at my parent's request and it just didn't work out so now I have no job. In a way, I am testing myself saying "not so fast. There just a little bit more you have to do to tie some loose ends up."

    My folks are all about working and sobriety. God bless them for getting sober because they really needed it, but I disagree with a lot of their lingo and I really fear for them when the economy collapses. They def don't buy into 2012 or anything metaphysical, but I will not judge their soul.

    As for being homeless, I honestly don't want to be because the winter is coming up, but I KNOW my mom will try to commit me to the mental hospital. I was there in 2008 because I dealt with my first break up and it wasn't really a fun experience, but my mom will ask me, "are you suicidal" and if I say yes, my ass will be in the hospital very quickly. She would do that. Ironic, she is a nurse in a state mental hospital. If I say no, then I'll get a huge ass lecture on how I have to work to survive and live comfortably. They are very money oriented people.

    Living comfortably? I live in a freakin attic of a small apartment with no utilities included and I don't even have gas turned on for my damn stove. I have to use a microwave because I can't risk a gas bill. I don't have cable so I use an anteanne for free tv. I can imagine most people in America would be like "no stove?! no cable?! I can't live that way!!" Well, I do everyday and have become quite accustomed to it.

    I was feeling really suicidal the past few weeks just not knowing what was going to happen if I didn't get unemployment. Its hard getting a job in this area and 95% are low paying service jobs. My parents would never survive the jobs I have done and their attitude would change right around. My step dad does manufacturing and my mom is a nurse. I've had the worst jobs ever like Wal-Mart and a call center and have been screwed over by employers as well. Its just so degrading as a human being and its like I have to degrade myself like this just to survive. No. I've done this crap too much and no more!! Not to mention I'm about $87K in debt with school and credit cards that will never get paid off.

    But through all my struggles, it has taught me there is a blessing in even the smallest things when you are desperate, like simple food and drink. I have to live off of Ramen noodles and PBJ sandwiches when rich bastards are complaining their food that they ordered at a 5 star restaurant was too well done or rare.
    [+] The following 2 members thanked thanked GreatSpirit for this post:2 members thanked GreatSpirit for this post
      • Confused, Tenet Nosce
    unity100 (Offline)

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    #8
    09-07-2011, 10:26 PM
    (09-07-2011, 10:02 PM)GreatSpirit Wrote: As for being homeless, I honestly don't want to be because the winter is coming up, but I KNOW my mom will try to commit me to the mental hospital. I was there in 2008 because I dealt with my first break up and it wasn't really a fun experience, but my mom will ask me, "are you suicidal" and if I say yes, my a$$ will be in the hospital very quickly. She would do that. Ironic, she is a nurse in a state mental hospital. If I say no, then I'll get a huge a$$ lecture on how I have to work to survive and live comfortably. They are very money oriented people.

    say 'no' then, and get your badass lecture about how to work to live comfortably and blah blah, thank your mother, and let it go. then walk towards whatever destination you want to walk towards.

    your parents do not need to know whatever spiritual strides you are making. even if you rip all veils and achieve major breakthroughs, they may not even be able to understand it even after they are dead for a long time, with all the amenities they can have access to in time/space. so let it go.

    nod your head, say yes, and dismiss it. you would have to do these when they became too old anyway.

    Quote:Living comfortably? I live in a freakin attic of a small apartment with no utilities included and I don't even have gas turned on for my damn stove. I have to use a microwave because I can't risk a gas bill. I don't have cable so I use an anteanne for free tv. I can imagine most people in America would be like "no stove?! no cable?! I can't live that way!!" Well, I do everyday and have become quite accustomed to it.

    ironic you say these. if you look at it, the area i am using in my house is no larger than 25 m2 on average. and i live in a 60m2 house even. i didnt buy gas for my stove last time it ran out (we buy it in containers here), and im doing away with single electric heater unit. and one kettle.

    i dont watch tv even. i dont even cook. i generally eat bread, yoghurt, some fruits, cheese and so on. for years now.

    not because i cant. but because i just dont. i didnt feel any lesser for these either. in the end it seems that a lot of the bullcrap that the society advertises, came up inflated.

    so far my only luxuries are internet, and i think silence.

    Quote:I was feeling really suicidal the past few weeks just not knowing what was going to happen if I didn't get unemployment. Its hard getting a job in this area and 95% are low paying service jobs.

    'area' ? in the age of internet ? did you check the links i gave ? through internet you can find a job in another area too.

    Quote:But through all my struggles, it has taught me there is a blessing in even the smallest things when you are desperate, like simple food and drink. I have to live off of Ramen noodles and PBJ sandwiches

    hahahahaa. im not even living off stuff like these. and i think im better for it.
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      • norral, Confused
    Namaste (Offline)

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    #9
    09-08-2011, 06:10 AM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2011, 06:11 AM by Namaste.)
    I agree with unity in regards to facing your mother. If you can do so without getting emotionally involved - which will be hard, but entirely possible, you will have made a huge leap in your evolution. All of these factors seem to be testing you to the limit at the moment, shaking your foundations.

    Many awakening people have gone through this - it's a rough ride to start, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Always.

    It's fantastic that you smelt one of your guides, she was letting you know you're getting help. Help from the metaphysical realm - non-physical consciousness - is invaluable. They can help orchestrate things that you would deem impossible. Open up to their help, ask for it (genuinely, without asking for specifics), and you'll get it. That's why they are there.

    I's also wonderful to see that you've learned the lesson that you're being provided with food. This will help unblock your red energy centre (root chakra) and give you a means to really start to work on yourself. This is the orange ray (sacral chakra). It already sounds like you are on the way, so continue to feel comfortable with who you are and what you want to be, do and think. The more you do so, the more that ray will open, allowing energy to reach the yellow ray. You mother appears to have the ability to dominate you. This, quite clearly, is a yellow ray imbalance. If you allow yourself to be dominated (i.e. let her make decisions for you that do not resonate with you), this is a yellow ray blockage.

    Hence, facing your mother and being strong about who you are, without getting angry or filled with resentment, would be an exponential boost for you.

    From there, the green ray will be much more open to you, which will allow you to trust that you're supported unconditionally, which in turn, leads to the activations of the higher rays.

    Remember, all these events are catalyst for you. They are massive opportunities for growth. Take them!

    Much love, dear brother :¬)
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      • Oceania, Confused, Aaron
    yossarian (Offline)

    Crazy if sane, but insane if not crazy.
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    #10
    09-08-2011, 06:30 PM
    (09-07-2011, 05:10 PM)GreatSpirit Wrote: Don't know where to start. I've always been shy and introverted. Never had many good friends but plenty of acquaintances. I'm a conspiracy theorist so I naturally believe 9/11 was an inside job and that we are all controlled and that the global economy will collapse on purpose and World War 3 may start anytime now prior to 2012. I've seen the proof. I hardly go out anywhere and I'm pretty anti-social and I have a hard enough time going to the store just getting something to eat. I consider myself spiritually open and a Wanderer, but I admit I haven't been the most positive person I am supposed to be. I've made many mistakes in my life and I feel what I am going through is by far my greatest challenge. I've had challenges before, mostly emotional, but I just feel this is the most intense. In a nutshell, I'm about to be homeless with nothing and I've been feeling suicidal.

    My whole family thinks I'm weird and I can feel they want to distance themselves from me. It's like they're ashamed of me for some reason because of my views (which are far different then theirs) and how deep I can think.

    Right now I'm unemployed and appealing for unemployment which I definitely won't get but doesn't hurt to try. have nothing to loose really. I'm not even going to the hearing because I know I'll loose and I have no lawyer. I'm just doing it just to piss off the company and hopefully so they will drop it and not have to go to court but seems like an impossibility.

    But make a long story short, I was laid off from my call center job of 7 years (JUST ME!!), but was offered a job in a different dept which I found out I was unqualified for and due to the lack of training, I got fired due to me walking out. Too many light bulb moments and I just couldn't take it. No one would help me and I was doing twice the work I did in my other dept for the same pay. I guess I'm still mad though because since they laid me off, I could've collected unemployment and got a severance pay. My parents told to just take the new job bla bla bla so I gave in and I did. Worst mistake I could've made (at least from one point of view).

    I haven't even been motivated to find a job really after I left and I think to myself, why the hell should I even partake in this system when its corrupt to the core? Besides, paper money has no real value anyway. I'm 28 so you'd expect I would be fine and set in a career by now. Went to college for 6 years which turned out to be the biggest waste of time. I thought it was more karmic cleanser since the kids were pretty mean and I only ended up in debt. I went for Theology and wanted to be a teacher but my parents wouldn't co-sign a loan for me to go to grad school and I messed up my own credit.

    But I guess I will be homeless shortly and I know my family will be just thrilled so I am not even asking for their help. They'll just look down on me as a lazy piece of s---. The most help I'll ask my mom is to just take my cat.

    Whats really weird for me, is that I lost my job, and been through an earthquake and hurricane all in the same month.
    You're describing paranoia, idealized self-image, you feel unwanted (especially by your family), you probably have always felt unloved by everyone, you see society as enemy territory. When you have to fend for yourself you feel mistreated, neglected, and left out.

    You're easily discouraged, isolated, anxious, expect others to look after you, low confidence, and you overestimate difficulties.

    These are classic mental health issues. What you need is a therapist.

    I know how you're feeling. I've been there. I spent years in crappy jobs at the edge of homelessness, socially isolated, believing the government was pure evil and that I was in enemy territory, feeling unloved and unwanted, feeling mistreated and neglected. I was anxious and so could not perform up to standard.

    What turned it all around for me is that I found a psychologist who seemed trustworthy and decided to trust him, at least to give him the benefit of the doubt and see what would happen if I trusted him.

    Do yourself a favor. Get a job at McDonald's and spend your last pennies on a shrink. Ask the therapist for a discount since you're poor, they will oblige you.
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      • Confused, Lorna
    zenmaster (Offline)

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    #11
    09-08-2011, 08:54 PM
    (09-07-2011, 10:02 PM)GreatSpirit Wrote: They def don't buy into 2012
    What does that mean?

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      • Confused
    ƒ❤losopher (Offline)

    Do Be Do Be Do — BE!
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    #12
    09-08-2011, 10:09 PM
    May I add to yossarian's good advice.

    Currently you seem to feel quite powerless. You can use this feeling. It's only a hop towards surrender. Surrender to the Infinite One or Christ Consciousness. Just lie down in bed and intensify the feeling of powerlessness and despair. Wallow a bit in it and then say something like 'I now surrender all my sorrows and despair to you, Infinite One! I surrender myself to you!' Maybe you will feel instantly relieved, maybe nothing's changed within you - anyway just imagine that lots of dark energies leave your body. Concentrate on these. Probably you will cry. Just let it all out till you're totally exhausted and fall asleep.

    Trust, that you are under God's Guidance now. You needn't do anything until you get a hunch or a synchronicity occurs. If fear, despair, anger, or whatever that bugs you comes up, do the same. Surrender it to the Infinte One. Don't wallow in it or dispel it -- surrender it! Do it as soon as you become aware of it.

    So much for first aid.

    Though my circumstances where never as dire as yours I once was also very much in despair and contemplating suicide. I was an agnostic then and just asked 'If there is a god -- help me, please.' (The above is just a bit more sophisticated Wink)
    Shortly after this I stumbled over a book that was the first step towards my awakening.
    The Power of 'Negative' Thinking by Tony Humphreys Humphreys states in it that 'negative' thinking is a kind of mental protection and *surprise, surprise* Unconditional (Self)Love can heal you. He helps heavily abused people who feel unable to love themselves mainly by hugging them and totally accepting and loving them unconditionally. Something most of his clients never experienced in their lives.

    If you like, I can scan it and send you a download link. Just PM me.

    There is more you can do to help yourself but for the beginning that should suffice.

    May the Infinite One show you his profound Grace!

    Sunny Love,

    foolosopher
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      • Namaste, Ruth, Confused, Aaron
    Meerie

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    #13
    09-09-2011, 02:35 AM
    The problem with shrinks is that most are trained only to make you "function" in society again, and that will often include giving you prescription meds, that have lots of harmful side effects.
    I had what could be termed a "mental breakdown" at the age of 28 / 29 and going to the shrink only aggravated the problems I had, by their method of focusing on the negative only. Besides no one of them could relate to the metaphysical aspects and my paranormal experiences.
    It took a long time but I finally pulled myself out of the mess and I am slowly learning to accept and validate myself. I guess the other posters have all given you valuable advice, listen to your self and choose what seems most beneficial to you.
    I will include you in my prayers. Blessings to you!
    Heart
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      • Namaste, Oceania, Confused, Tenet Nosce
    Namaste (Offline)

    Follow your dreams
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    #14
    09-09-2011, 03:40 AM
    I agree with Meerie, classically trained shrinks often employ Sigmund Freud's psychoanalysis, and aim for societal integration. Being 'normal' in this place is equally dangerous :¬)

    Posting here for help speaks volumes of your core beliefs and open mind. You may be better off with some spiritual counseling instead of/as well as classical help. Get the balance. You'll find much free guidance here, and if you put the intention out to the Universe, one might pop up in your day-to-day life.
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      • Confused
    yossarian (Offline)

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    #15
    09-09-2011, 03:44 AM
    (09-09-2011, 03:40 AM)Namaste Wrote: I agree with Meerie, classically trained shrinks often employ Sigmund Freud's psychoanalysis, and aim for societal integration.
    Is this a joke?
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      • zenmaster, Confused
    Oceania Away

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    #16
    09-09-2011, 05:37 AM
    i haven't even got a job, i'm 28 and have never had a real job because of my self esteem and developmental and mental issues. if you're able to work that's already a step up, i think you're doing great. you have your own place. stoves are a luxury not everyone has. independence is a luxury too. i need to work on my own issues somehow, from where i'm looking you seem to be doing great. not that going homeless is great but so far you have at least kept your head above the water, i wish you luck in figuring it out. i believe in you. try to be creative in what brings you joy, try to get out of survival and into doing what you want. is there anything you could have fun doing? are you artistic? or interested in engineering? or what? what is it you wanted to do before you got sidetracked? maybe you could do it now, this could be that opening. maybe you have to work a menial job for a while but at the same time somehow figure out how to get a nice job, and find your joy.
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      • Confused, Tenet Nosce
    3DMonkey

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    #17
    09-09-2011, 08:13 AM
    Going homeless should be a freeing experience, not a depressing one. Family is important, even if they are all b******. You have the freedom to let go and roll with the punches. Accept the punches that are coming. Honestly, it sounds very liberating and not enslaving. Humility is better than pride. For instance, show up in court just for the sake of showing up. Walk in and take your punches. You must at least be here. If it all doesn't matter, then show up anyone. Show up at court. Show up at your mom's doorstep. Show up at the soup line. Go sleep at the homeless shelter tonight. Experience that stuff.

    But whatever you do. Whatever you do!!!! Do not turn to drugs or alcohol or you will be in pain you can't imagine. Don't turn to drugs or alcohol!!!!
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      • Ruth, Confused, Tenet Nosce
    Meerie

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    #18
    09-09-2011, 09:53 AM
    "Family is important, even if they are all b******"... lol
    I just imagined printing that sentence, putting it in a nice golden frame and hanging it on the wall, right next to all the family pics Tongue .

    I have seen quite a few homeless people here who seemed quite cheerful. I remember one time, I was at the train station going back home and I see this homeless guy with his trolley and his few belongings. I was in a really depressed mood that day and the world was grey. I caught his eye and I saw how he was smiling and emitting positivity and his eyes were incredibly bright blue and that caught me off guard - like "jeez! here I am depressed as can be and the homeless guy is showing me the way".
    yeah maybe to some it is freeing. Have you read Peace Pilgrims book?

    http://www.peacepilgrim.com/book/aframe.htm
    (09-09-2011, 08:13 AM)3DMonkey Wrote: Going homeless should be a freeing experience, not a depressing one. Family is important, even if they are all b******.
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    Ruth (Offline)

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    #19
    09-09-2011, 10:18 AM
    GreatSpirit - seems you've already had plenty of wonderful advice and encouragement here. I would only add that somewhere inside yourself you must recognize your true self simply because of the user name you selected GREAT Spirit.
    Also, I understand your frustration with your relationship to your parents. What worked best for me was not to "stand up to" my challenging parent - but rather to step back and realize that he is just a person, like me, here to learn, and is doing the best he knows how to do. I just started sending him all the love and light I could muster. He is now one of my dearest friends.
    Love, light and peace to you, my brother.
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      • Confused, Oceania, Lorna, Tenet Nosce
    kycahi (Offline)

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    #20
    09-09-2011, 01:44 PM
    (09-09-2011, 09:53 AM)Meerie Wrote: I was in a really depressed mood that day and the world was grey. I caught his eye and I saw how he was smiling and emitting positivity and his eyes were incredibly bright blue and that caught me off guard - like "jeez! here I am depressed as can be and the homeless guy is showing me the way".

    Very good information, Meerie! I was depressive most of my life and only thought that I was perennially tired or sleepy. I usually wore a neutral face or a frown. One day something clicked in me and I decided to smile to strangers and acquaintances. Most of them smiled back, even though many dropped the smile even before they were out of my view. Shy

    In a short while, my smile stopped being a "face" and became my natural, felt-right appearance. I felt happier and realized that I can be one of those who spreads happiness to others. I felt a new personal power from that. Before, I was a "victim," but now a positive force that can be more like what a Wanderer should be, IMO. So go ahead and pretend to be happy until you become happy. "Fake it until you make it!" (from 12-Steps, I think) Cool

    I take supplements and meds for the depression, and am grateful for them. Side effects are minimal for me right now, thank One.
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      • Ankh, Oceania, Confused, Ruth, Tenet Nosce
    Ankh (Offline)

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    #21
    09-09-2011, 02:02 PM
    I had PTSD, and went to a shrink. He was a cool guy, in my age. He prescribed me some drugs, that I took just for couple of weeks, and we had some ordinary, traditional therapy. That was step one. As soon I "got up from my knees", thanks to him and medication, I dropped these, and started to "wake up" instead. That was step two. We are all very different. We can share what worked for us and what did not, but each has his/hers own way of dealing with their personal problems. Some need a specific medication or treatment, which for another can have a totally opposite effect. There is no "one" way that can be applied for everyone.
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      • Confused, kycahi, Tenet Nosce
    Oceania Away

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    #22
    09-09-2011, 04:46 PM (This post was last modified: 09-09-2011, 04:50 PM by Oceania.)
    i think we should start a thread on this. i tried meds and then woke up. gave up meds, sort of. most pharms are there to dumb us down and make us sick so we buy meds. imo. but everyone does what they feel is best at the time. i don't regret using medication when i felt it was right. it helped when it worked.
    i take supplements now too. what do you take Ky?
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      • Confused
    Namaste (Offline)

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    #23
    09-09-2011, 07:50 PM (This post was last modified: 09-09-2011, 07:52 PM by Namaste.)
    (09-09-2011, 03:44 AM)yossarian Wrote: Is this a joke?

    Not at all, I think that most 'standard' therapists use out-dated paradigms regarding consciousness and the mind, and have no idea, at all, about the spiritual nature of catalyst and the nature of time.

    There are many cases in which subjects have been with the same therapist for years, with little improvement. Some have even caused further damage by perpetually referencing the (painful) past before the subject is mentally/emotionally ready to do so. There are also cases in which the subject becomes addicted/dependant upon therapy.

    In my personal opinion, there are better options. Hypnotherapy, for example, along with guidance from a person who has a balanced understanding of both scientific and spiritual aspects of consciousness/mind. Treatment can be holistic. Those that practice just one side of the coin, as such, are oblivious to much wisdom.

    Bashar and Abraham also state that learning to accept that the past and future do no exist, and do not define you, is a means to springboard to the place of mental stability that would then entail the reviewing of said memories, but from a more empowered position. I personally find this an invaluable stage in the process, one which is not part of the 'standard' curriculum. They have even said that revisiting the past continually can be of no value whatsoever. I trust those sources. Whether you do or not, is up to you.

    I am glad that you had an altogether positive experience with yours.

    My mother suffered form depression by the way, and it was the hypnotherapy that got her out of it. The system also failed my sister, who suffered from it for nearly a decade.
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      • Oceania, Confused
    Oceania Away

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    #24
    09-09-2011, 08:10 PM
    i totes agree Nam!
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      • Confused
    3DMonkey

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    #25
    09-09-2011, 10:13 PM
    I have always wondered why therapy education doesn't take into account the very psychological relationship between therapist and patient. It seems like a no win situation. I need therapy to cope with my therapist to cope with my therapist.

    Plus, my mother obtained a masters in this subject..... thus, I KNOW it's faulty. .... LMAO, once, she said "I help people, I could help you, 3DMonkey." .... LOL... with that statement alone she proved her misconceived notions. .... seriously, think about it, she has no clue.... god help her though, she is counseling homeless men currently. It is sooooo karma for her to be associated with men with empty pockets.
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      • Namaste, kycahi
    Ankh (Offline)

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    #26
    09-10-2011, 01:51 AM
    These people are your other selves, who are serving in the way that they believe is right.
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      • Namaste, kycahi
    zenmaster (Offline)

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    #27
    09-10-2011, 02:56 AM
    (09-09-2011, 10:13 PM)3DMonkey Wrote: I could help you, 3DMonkey." .... LOL...
    So mom - why exactly did you give me that name?
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      • Namaste, Oceania, kycahi, Aaron
    Namaste (Offline)

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    #28
    09-10-2011, 04:11 AM
    Haha!

      •
    Lorna (Offline)

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    #29
    09-10-2011, 05:12 AM
    I think most people on this forum have been though lows that have ultimately resulted in growth. Frustration at a system we don't fit into seems particularly common. My suggestion is to forget about the system and focus on your brothers and sisters who are also just trying to get through today. What can you do today to help make someone else's life easier? Are the volunteering or mentoring programmes you could give an hour of your time to? Could you offer to help an elderly neighbour do their groceries or tidy their garden? Looking outwards and actively seeking opportunities to serve others can be enormously cathartic, helping to halt the inward, downward, depressive cycle.
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      • Ankh, kycahi, Tenet Nosce
    Ankh (Offline)

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    #30
    09-10-2011, 05:37 AM
    Wonderful, Lorna! I understand the frustration at the system part, from my personal experience. When I visited that fantastic guy who was my therapist at that painful, very difficult time (just prior to my awakening, read: discovery of the Ra material), I shared some few thoughts with him of being from some place else than this Earth. "I don't fit in here" is what I believe I said to summarize my little theory for him. He gave me some scientific/traditional theories of why it is so. As I valued them, and took them into the consideration, there was no resonance with that. So, I never mentioned it to him again, but started to seek the answer on my own.

    What I wanted to say is that by saying that a person, who is in service to the mankind in the way s/he believes is right, doing it wrong, would be doing a disservice to those who seek that kind of vibration and do get help; and to that being. For instance, I don't resonate with David Wilcock, but if I would say that I think that he is not doing it right, would be a disservice to those who seek his vibration, and David himself. My true belief is that he does a honourable work, of being in service to people of this Earth, and adds to increased Harvest; and so is every other self who is in service to others at this time.
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      • Oceania, kycahi
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